Finally, all those dirty limericks and erotic sonnets you wrote about LeBron James after he signed with the Miami Heat can be put to good use. How, you ask? Simple: the Miami Herald, in its infinite wisdom, is holding a LeBron James Poetry Contest and whoever wins the competition will receive the thrill of reading his/her poem on the air on Miami station WLRN 91.4 FM. Not only that, said winner will also receive two – count ‘em, two – complimentary tickets to the finale event of O, Miami: A Contemporary Poetry Festival.
Wait. No Heat tickets? Just free passes to a lame-ass poetry festival? Bogus!
Here are the rules for this ill-conceived contest:
Six lines? I guess my Homeric ode to King James, The Hyprocryssey, doesn’t quite conform to the Herald’s stringent, restrictive rules. Lame. Well, it’s their loss, I guess. But for those of you who would still like to cheapen and degrade your artistic expressions of your love for LeBron James in poetry form can do so by submitting it here. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’re about to become part of the machine, man. Did Allen Ginsberg ever submit his poems regarding is erotic obsession with Yogi Berra to some silly newspaper contest? I think not.
Let’s win the LeBron James poetry contest [The Basketball Jones]