Archive for September, 2010
In his own words – well, who’s words would they be? – Jimmy Joe says this weekend’s race featured “Drama, Strategery and a Big Boyer Finish.”
Sounds good to me. I think. The last time I saw video of a “Big Boyer Finish,” well, I don’t have to tell you that it wasn’t a pretty sight. But I guess that’s what I get for clicking on a link submitted by someone who refers to themselves as “fatjaculator.” I still wake up screaming some nights. But that’s another story for another therapy session.
In any event, thanks for the update, Jimmy Joe.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• A gold medal from the 1980 “Miracle On Ice” is up for sale. [Puck Daddy]
• There are few worse examples of someone butchering the National Anthem than this video. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Video of midget Florida fan who was ready to rumble with Tennessee fans. [Out of Bounds]
• Was the entire “Brutus Buckeye Getting Tackled” controversy a set-up? [With Leather]
• If it’s not bad enough that Rays manager Joe Maddon is a hipster doofus, now he’s making his team dress like one too. [Walkoff Walk]
• It’s time for the NFL Season Week 2 Jump to Conclusions Mat. [Shutdown Corner]
• Here are the 10-best one-liners from the Roast of Bobby Knight, which was held on Saturday. [The Dagger]
• Jesus, Peter King makes Drew’s job of blasting your column every week almost too easy. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara preview the upcoming season for the Atlanta Thrashers. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The 3D Anna Kournikova pics in Maxim are teh awesome. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• What was the deal with A.J. Burnett’s shiner? How about we play a game of Clue to find out? [TAUNTR]
• Adriana Lima photos something perfume something something. [Bob's Blitz]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Corey Pavin Announces Plans To Get Loaded Before Ryder Cup
Send tips, link submissions and high praise to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Everything’s coming up Cutler!
After his three-touchdown performance in the Bears’ 27-20 victory over the suddenly normal Cowboys on Sunday, Jay Cutler is probably feeling like he’s living on Cloud Nine and that he could eat as many snack size Butterfingers as he damn well pleases. Throw in that the Bears are a somewhat surprising 2-0 along with the fact that according to Cutler himself, his budding relationship with reality show star Kristin Cavallari is going quite swimmingly, it’s safe to say that the quarterback is feeling pretty damn good right now.
Cutler appeared on something called “The Waddle & Silvy Show” and one of the topics addressed is his brand new special lady and how their relationship has thrust the quarterback into the celebrity power couple limelight (via ESPN Chicago):
“I’m so busy with football and [offensive coordinator] Mike [Martz] and stuff it’s just hard to catch up with that. The only way I hear about it is if my sister tells me.
“I went in Monday morning, got my stuff done, came back, landed [Tuesday] went in, game-planned a little,” Cutler said about last week. “I got enough football for probably everybody at this point. I don’t think [Cavallari] is in New York right now so don’t think I can go back there [this week].
“Yeah, they’re going well. It’s working out so far.”
Good to know. But to be perfectly honest, other than the fact that the Cutler-Cavallari coupling has caused me to bump both of them up into my Power Couple Fantasy League’s starting lineup (so long, Miles Austin-Kim Kardashian!!), my only purpose for passing along this information was to embed a couple of photos from Kristin’s recent sexy lingerie shoot:
Yes, I know, I possess neither dignity nor a sense of shame. But the trade-off? So freaking worth it.
Jay Cutler: Too busy to follow gossip [ESPN Chicago]
Pictured above is Maryellen Mara-Christian, a 48-year-old unemployed banking employee and her impressive hunting trophy: a 13 1/2-foot long, 1,025-pound alligator the Massachusetts native killed while hunting with her husband in South Carolina. Even more impressive than the size of the beast? How Mara-Christian put it down (via the AP report):
The .22-caliber gun they used wasn’t powerful enough to put the animal down, so Mara-Christian used a knife to sever the alligator’s spinal cord.
Bad. Ass. This woman is tougher than I will ever dream to be. Of course, not everyone is happy with the woman legally taking the animal.
Video and the vitriolic response by so-called animal lovers to the story follows.
I must have neglected to add this event to my calendar, because unbeknownst to me, the 30th Rhythmic Gymnastics World Championships are currently taking place in Moscow as we speak. The Telegraph has a, um, shall we say “slightly uncomfortable” photo gallery from the event, which contains “images from the first day of competition featuring rope and hoop disciplines.
I am trying to tread as lightly as possible here given the sensitivity of the topic I am about to bring up, but given the apparent ages of the competitors featured in the gallery, is it just me, or does anyone else get the impression that this the kind of event you might see Roman Polanski in the front row? Hey, it could happen.
For those of you who have been around the sports blogosphere for some time most assuredly have previously encountered Nightmare Ant, the moniker bestowed upon the terrifying beast by J.E. Skeets, whom many of you know as the former editor of Yahoo! Sports NBA blog Ball Don’t Lie editor and current editor of The Basketball Jones. Once upon a time, Skeets was also a contributor at Deadspin and it was during that time way back in 2007 when he unleashed Nightmare Ant (who is actually the mascot for the Fort Wayne Mad Ants) on an unsuspecting and unprepared public.
Well, folks, Nightmare Ant is back taking over the tubes once again. Courtesy of Pro Basketball Talk (by way of Tirico Suave) comes the following video where Nightmare Ant reveals the activities which occur around the Mad Ants’ offices on a typical day.
GAH! KILL IT! KILL! IT!
The above screencap is already making its way across the internets at breakneck speed (KSK, Deadspin, are among the sites who have already addressed this image from last night’s Sunday Night Football game between the Giants and Colts and the being I have named The Beast In Colts’ Clothing), but I would have done a tremendous disservice to my many readers if I hadn’t make this terror-inducing image a permanent addition to the Sportress’ archives.
I mean, look at that poor creature. While I find myself pitying it and the jeers and teasing she undoubtedly has experienced in her tragic life, I am nevertheless curious as to what exactly she is in a biological sense: an evolutionary nod to the origin of our species? The end result of some twisted genetic experiment gone horribly awry involving the mutation of Shaun White’s DNA? Who knows? It’s a real One thing I do know is that thing should probably be kept on a leash when out in public. It’s a safety issue, really.
Perhaps that statement is a bit of a stretch. Instead, it perhaps should read that the Cardinals organization do not appear to be fond of the legalization of medicinal marijuana in Arizona. This conclusion is arrived due to the news that the team donated $10,000 to “Keep AZ Drug Free,” a group that strongly opposes Proposition 203, a measure to be voted on by state residents in November “which could make medical marijuana legal in the state and let chronically ill or severe pain patients buy small amounts of pot from state licensed clinics with a doctor’s approval.”
From Phoenix Business Journal (via NORML):
Cardinals team President Michael Bidwill is listed by the anti-203 group as one of the main Valley leaders opposed to medical marijuana legalization. USA Basketball Chairman Jerry Colangelo also is part of the Keep AZ Drug Free group’s efforts.
Arizona voters will decide Prop. 203’s fate in November Arizona would be the 15th state to allow for medical marijuana.
The Cardinals were not able to provide comment on their $10,000 contribution Wednesday evening.
While I suppose Bidwill has every right to donate to whatever political interest group he so chooses, it’s odd that instead of making a personal donation, he apparently did it in the team’s name, which is odd when one considers that the Cardinals have seemingly managed to avoid the immigrant issue s**tstorm which the Arizona Diamondbacks have found themselves in due to the controversial Arizona state law. So why would the Cardinals willingly stick their necks out and embroil the organization in a separate, albeit less controversial, political quagmire?
Further, given that the season for the Cardinals has all the appearances of being a complete failure and an abject nightmare for the fans (especially in light of yesterday’s 41-7 drubbing by Atlanta), marijuana might be the only thing that will help Cardinals fans make it through the season. If marijuana were in fact legal, of course, but that goes without saying, right?
Cards give $10K against medical pot [Phoenix Business Journal (via NORML)]
If you are a degenerate gambler always looking for an angle or in search of a hot tip to put a little of that cash you are continuously losing back in your wallet, I’d advise that you follow John Daly on Twitter and hope he keeps dropping NFL knowledge like the information contained in the above tweet. That tip is as good as gold, people. To go out on a limb and say that Manning would come out on top in last night’s Giants-Colts game is a sure-fire example of pure, unadulterated NFL genius. Obviously, I don’t have to tell you that if you followed Daly’s sage advice and figured out a way to lay a wager down based on the above information, you came out way ahead.
Like a goddamn seer, that Daly.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and erotic haikus to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Susan Miller of Naperville, Illinois has had all she can stands and she can’t stands no more as it pertains to her neighbor’s refusal to pick up dog poop. Miller has been charged with disorderly conduct due to her meltdown last Wednesday where she picked up poop from her neighbor’s dog after stepping in it and chucked it at said neighbor’s house. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable response to me. [Yahoo!/AP]
• Michigan State head football coach goes with gutsy fake field goal call in overtime victory over Notre Dame, has heart attack. Jebus. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Six-year-old girl was kicked off cheerleading team for not shaking her booty. [Out of Bounds]
• Just because the St. Louis Cardinals don’t show lesbians on the Kiss Cam doesn’t mean these guys won’t. [Busted Coverage]
• Mike Singletary is a completely sane man. Except when he’s acting completely psychotic. [Bob's Blitz]
• The top 10 reasons why the Eagles should start Michael Vick at QB next week. [Five Tool Tool]
• Somebody had some fun with Detroit Lions offensive lineman Jeff Backus’ Wikipedia page after he gave up that sack to Julius Peppers which injured Matthew Stafford. [TheWizWit]
• A sampling of some of the best sports impressions on the internets. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Man With Eye Patch In Town For…Business
Jimmy Joe, shine on, you crazy, backwoods diamond.
Have a great weekend, everyone. See you Monday.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Rodney King has challenged Mike Tyson to a boxing match. [Out of Bounds]
• Charles Barkley admits to taking money from agents in college, doesn’t see the big deal. [Larry Brown Sports]
• John Daly calls himself the Babe Ruth of Golf. Well, they were both fat during parts of their career. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Jon Gruden heckles Sexy Friday. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• What do Tara Reid and the Oakland Raiders have in common? Click through and find out. [With Leather]
• Rays DJ Kitty gets Bieber Fever! [TAUNTR]
• The Top 7 movie cameos by athletes. [Joe Sports Fan]
• PETA: still douchey. [The Slanch Report]
• One of the great new sports blogs out there rolls out a new feature: Meme League Baseball. [Ted Williams Head]
• LeBron James previews the Columbus Blue Jackets. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Touchdown Disallowed After Ref Drops Ball Handed To Him By Player
Send tips, link submissions, comments and complaints to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
A commercial for the Australian National Basketball League (NBL) is being hammered by players in the league as well as the media for being grossly inappropriate and possibly racist. The commercial depicts players from the NBL playing hoops throughout the house and in one scene, Taj McCullough, an African-American player who is a forward for the Sydney Kings, jumps into bed between a white couple and starts cozying up to the wife. Hoo boy.
The NBL issued a statement regarding the commercial, which has been running on something called The Ten Network for weeks, where they defend it as “lighthearted and fun.”
I managed to track down a grainy version of the commercial on YouTube. Judge for yourself.
(takes off pair of cheap sunglasses, rubs eyes)
Actually, whenever I take a moment to contemplate the of Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill, the bearded leaders of ZZ Top, my mind invariably turns to the NBA, in particular one Chris Bosh. But I should point out that ever since I recorded the video for “Legs” off MTV way back when I was a wee lad and watched it on a loop for 9 straight hours, I haven’t been the same. I imagine I’m not the only one.
[H/T The Basketball Jones]
It’s been a slow day here at the Sportress, but in between meetings naps at work, I came across a news item on Hardball Talk that I suspect you, my dear readers, might find interesting: Marisa Miller was at AT&T Park and threw out the first pitch before the Dodgers-Giants game last night.
Because the MLB is mean, I cannot upload the video, but you can see it here. As you can see, Miller has decent form and other than the fact that after she gently caressed the ball, her pitch to home plate fluttered in the air like a Marmalard pass.
Nevertheless, a fine showing by the lovely and talented Miss Miller. That gal can do no wrong in my book. Now that I have watched the video approximately 40 times, if you would be so kind as to excuse me, I need to go work on perfectly executing a squeeze play. For starters, I think I’ll start with the safety squeeze – less messy. Still, to be on the safe side, I better bring a poncho.
[H/T Hardball Talk]
