Archive for September, 2010
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and Gimme A Break fanfic to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• The ingredients of oil, eggs and vinegar made a mayo spill in Japan “more slick and dangerous than snow,” according to police official Masaaki Miyazaki. When the load of mayo spilled off a lorry in Tokyo, it also caused an eight-vehicle pile up and left three people injured. Mmm…mayo injuries. [Yahoo!/AFP]
• Braylon Edwards is a ginormous douche, perfectly illustrated by his celebratory dance last night. [Larry Brown Sports]
• FOX analyst Charles Davis does not know where the red zone stars. [Shutdown Corner]
• Congratulations goes out to Jim Furyk, the 11.35 million-dollar man. [Wei Under Par]
• Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin has banned the use of Twitter. NO! [Waggle Room]
• It’s hard to believe it’s 17th edition of “The Sports Snob” already. Today, the NBA players’ bitching. [You Been Blinded]
• The great state of New Mexico just might want to rethink this whole college football business. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• The top 10 Week 3 NFL ad questions. [Five Tool Tool]
• What the hell is the deal with that “BOOM!” commercials with Tebow and Suh? [Second-String Fullback]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Man Dies After Long, Painful Battle With Life
Like Jimmy Joe, the slack-jawed yokel.
From what I understand, the Chase is full-on and Clint Bowyer got in a whole heapin’ mess of trouble this week. Other than that, I could listen to Jimmy Joe read the telephone book. Sure, I would have PSTD afterward, but it might be worth it.
Have a great weekend, kids. I’ll be back here on Monday. Same Sportress time, same Sportress channel.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
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• Jelisa Castrodale, a colleague of mine over at Out of Bounds, appeared on Jeopardy! and performed more than admirably. Read about her experience. [Out of Bounds]
• Bill Simmons, once again, is completely full of s**t. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Phillies will deliver food right to your seat at the ballpark courtesy of an iPhone app. [The Slanch Report]
• This could very well be the best photograph from the 2010 MLB season. [Walkoff Walk]
• John Daly should chill out about John Daly by having a John Daly. [Waggle Room]
• Joe Namath goes on the radio, proceeds to embarrass the New York Jets franchise. [Bob's Blitz]
• “Ines Sainz In New York Jets Hard NKocks” [TAUNTR]
• Alexander Ovechkin doing an Ivan Drago imitation? Nice. [Puck Daddy]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Area Man’s Bathroom A Monument To Ongoing War Against His Own Disgusting Body
Send tips, link submissions, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Brilliant.
Brett Favre Apparently Undecided If He Will Return To Vikings This Season [The Onion]
Wait. They still make music videos? They do? That can’t be right, can it? Oh well.
My ignorance regarding the current trends in music video production notwithstanding, Ottawa Senators center Mike Fisher, by way of his nuptials to country pop music sensation Carrie Underwood, has officially entered the world of pop culture after making a cameo in his darling wife’s new video for her song, “Mama’s Song.”
And since I am well aware of the fact that the Sportress is for many of you the go-to source for country music, I’d like to pass along that fan reaction to Underwood’s new video and song has been extremely favorable. Via the Vancouver Sun:
“Absolutely beautiful just like she is.. ,” one fan gushes. “There is no one in the industry with more sincere heart and soul. This woman is truly amazing and not an American Idol but and American Angel and Icon. I love her! she’s amazing and she’s an incredible role model for women everywhere!
“A+++++ for all concerned with this video – it hits the mark !!!!” another fan writes. “Just so heartfelt with Carrie and her real Mom, Mike, pics of the wedding, when she was young with her Mom and Dad – great concept -… “
Good to know. Good to know. Sure, she’s no Loretta Lynn or Crystal Gayle, but Carrie’s alright in my book.
Carrie Underwood’s latest video features Ottawa Senator Mike Fisher [Vancouver Sun]
I know! Who knew Canadians could be such traitors against their own kind? Such nice people, usually, but in a column for the Toronto Sun, columnist Chris Stevenson asserts what most people who follow the NHL have known for years about Sidney Crosby: talented (but petulant) on the ice, boring as all get out off it.
So, does HBO have any idea what they are getting themselves into hitching their wagons to the drab, stale personality of one Sidney Crosby?
Question: how does one, even as accomplished of a journalist as longtime 60 Minutes correspondent Steve Kroft, go about carrying out an insightful, provocative and competent interview when the whole time the reporter is on his knees, genuflecting at the feet of his subject? Although I should point out that Kroft insists he went down to New Orleans looking for some dirt on the Saints quarterback.
Either way, I guess we’ll have to wait and see until Sunday, when Kroft’s profile of St. Drew, Patron Saint of the New Orleans, Keeper of the Levees, airs on the season premiere of 60 Minutes, because if his statements to the Times-Picayune are any indication, Kroft might have himself a bit of a non-sexual, schoolboy crush on the One and True Savior of the City of New Orleans.
Most. Understated. Headline. Ever.
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So, um, with that in mind, would somebody please answer this question for me then: what has the rest of the season been? A leisurely, relaxing Sunday drive down a freshly tarred road? Better yet, a cruise down the freeway of fun while riding in a hovercraft? Because if getting blown out in one game is considered a bump in the road, I would sure like to get my hands on the shocks and struts the Cubs are using. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I suppose the hovercraft would be kind of cool, too.
Cubs hit a bump in the road [Chicago Sun-Times]
Oh boy. If you are not familiar with the Double Stuf Racing League, good for you. But my guess is you will not be able to ignore this advertising juggernaut much longer, so you might as well familiarize yourself with the DSRL’s members: Eli Manning, Venus Williams, Apollo Ohno and Shaquille O’Neal. As you can see, the League has a new foil which will force it to maximize and perfect their twisting, licking and dunking skills in order to vanquish. Wait. Are we still talking about Oreos here or what?
Anyhoo. The DSRL campaign is going full bore now with an official site, a Facebook page where people who have apparently nothing better to do with their lives than waste time participating in corporate marketing blitzes can create their own DSRL team (for what reason exactly, I’m not sure). There is even an illustrated .pdf document provided for those people out there who really want to “race” but find the concepts behind eating cookies and drinking milk far too complicated.
Oh, and did I mention the DSRL have a YouTube channel? Check out the video introducing the new team below.
Kinks? What in the hell does Ray Davies have to do with the armor of the New York Giants? I could sit up all day and all of the night and not come up with a legitimate reason as to why the New York Post chose to modify the idiom of “chinks in the armor” for the above headline.
I understand the need for political correctness in this hypersensitive day and age, but isn’t the idiom in question a generally-accepted way of expressing a vulnerability and not in any way a violation of the preferred nomenclature? Dictionary.com defines it as follows:
A vulnerable area, as in Putting things off to the last minute is the chink in Pat’s armor and is bound to get her in trouble one day. This term relies on chink in the sense of “a crack or gap,” a meaning dating from about 1400 and used figuratively since the mid-1600s.
Further, when has the New York Post ever been concerned about political correctness or given two craps about the delicate sensibilities of its readers?
Plenty of kinks in Giants’ armor [New York Post]
Dwight Freeney might be one of the most-feared pass rushers in the NFL but he made a critical mistake when he not only read something written by Sports Illustrated‘s Peter King but then taking offense to it.
Freeney is upset that he was not included in King’s “Five Most Fearsome Pass Rushers for 2010 and Beyond” in the Sports Illustrated NFL Preview edition. The Colts defensive lineman was especially displeased with number 4 on King’s list: Brian Orakpo of the Washington Redskins.
Even more impressive. This is the 10th consecutive season Ichiro has reached the 200-hit benchmark, becoming the first player in major league history to ever reach such a remarkable achievement.
Ichiro, humble as always, on his impressive accomplishment (via Reuters):
“My team mates all celebrated for me so I realized it would be okay to be happy about the record,” said the 36-year-old, who tipped his cap to the crowd as he received a standing ovation.
“It hasn’t been easy to achieve but it kind of feels a bit strange because I didn’t set the record as a target this season.
“I have several options when I face pitches despite being in an era when pitchers are supposed to have the advantage,” Ichiro told reporters. “Those options add depth to my batting.
Clearly, Ichiro is disrespectful to pitchers who do not bring their “A” game. Can you see that he is serious? Now out of my way, all of you. This is no place for loafers, et cetera, et cetera.
Yes, I know. Mr. Sparkle references are so…played. Come on, it’s Friday. Give me a break.
Ichiro first to 200 hits in 10 straight years [Reuters]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and hate sonnets to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• It’s like the goddamn New Mexico Chainsaw Massacre or something. Teddy Sexton, a 32-year-old from Aztec, New Mexico is in jail facing animal cruelty charges due to an alleged incident where Sexton butchered his 2-year-old pit bull while his two children watched. Sexton defended his actions, saying the dog bit his 9-year-old daughter. Authorities learned of the incident after an investigator from the state’s Children, Youth and Families Department informed deputies that the children were having nightmares about seeing the dog get its head cut off. Nice. [azcentral]
• If you have a daughter (or an effeminate son) who dream to one day be the next Erin Andrews, you just have to buy them “News Anchor Barbie.” [Out of Bounds]
• In response to Kenny McKinley’s death, Woody Paige details his own bouts of depression and how he contemplated committing suicide in 2002 in a column for The Denver Post. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
• ESPN has hired a new piece of sideline eye candy, Marianela Pereyra. [Busted Coverage]
• Oh snap! Skip Bayless said that Dwight Howard plays like a girl. Them’s fightin’ words. [You Been Blinded]
• Are Madden engineers even watching the NFL anymore? [Tirico Suave]
• Yankees right-hander Javier Vazquez plunked three guys in a row last night. [Big League Stew]
• There was a glitch in ESPN’s fantasy football which allowed users to manipulate their rosters at will. Unfortunately, it has been fixed. [TheWizWit]
• For the offseason, the Cleveland Indians are turning Progressive Field into a winter wonderland featuring tubing and skating rinks. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Rufus the Bobcat is getting mighty popular on Facebook. [TAUNTR]
• Phillies fans are lazy. [Ted Williams Head]
• Time for another KSK Sex/Fantasy Football mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Dexter McCluster raps about not texting while driving. [Outside the Boxscore]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: No One Knows Who Female Star Athlete In Nike Commercial Is
Prep Rally has the details (by way of No Guts, No Glory), but really, what else do you need to know than what you see in the video? That kid absolutely blew through the opposing defense. In a way, it was almost Tebowesque except for the fact I wasn’t secretly hoping that before he made it into the end zone, demons would rise through a smoking fissure in the earth’s crust and drag the bastard down to the nether-regions of Hell for his blasphemy.
I kind of have a vividly weird imagination. I choose to blame it on the lithium.
[H/T Prep Rally (via No Guts, No Glory)]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• Skateboarding may inf fact not be a crime, but it is now credit worthy at one Colorado high school. [Out of Bounds]
• The lovely ladies from Rick’s Cabaret have offered to drive New York Jets home after getting drunk. But is getting behind the wheel with a chick who is all coked-up and a low self-esteem that much better of an idea? [Busted Coverage]
• If there is anyone better at alliteration than my old pal Rob Iracane, I’d like to hear about it. [Walkoff Walk]
• Prosecutor in Francisco Rodriguez case says the Mets pitcher once beat his girlfriend so bad, she had to be hospitalized. Throw away the key. [Larry Brown Sports]
• If you haven’t seen this video of the Japanese Gus Johnson, you’re missing out. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Chargers general manager A.J. Smith stars in The Lord of No Rings. [TAUNTR]
• The Sports Pickle got their hands on the first draft of Braylon Edwards’ apology. [Sports Pickle]
• Soccer fans and their streaking! When are they going to learn a red body suit is the only way to go? [Bob's Blitz]
• Sports Illustrated columnist Joe Posnanski appeared to be auditioning for a job with Awful Announcing courtesy of a series of tweets during Monday Night Football. [Awful Announcing]
• Another Bill Simmons fan bites the dust. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Daniel Snyder and Alyssa Milano in the same NFL commercial? Worlds are colliding! [D.C. Sports Bog]
• The proprietors of DSB lend a hand to John Clayton by replying to submissions to his mailbag. [Daddy's Sugar Ball]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: [video] How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You’re Banging On The Side
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