Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, links and pornographic sonnets to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• That’s it! I’m moving to Russia! Russia’s finance minister Alexei Kudrin has implored his nation’s citizens to drink more alcohol and smoke more cigarettes as a means to help revive the country’s staggered economy. “If you smoke a pack of cigarettes, that means you are giving more to help solve social problems such as boosting demographics, developing other social services and upholding birth rates. People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state.” Ha. Upholding birth rates by drinking more. Ain’t that the truth. [Yahoo!/AFP]

• This just in: people still hate LeBron. [Out of Bounds]

• Attendance at NFL games expected to drop to the lowest point in 10 years. I hope the owners can somehow scrape by. [Larry Brown Sports]

• The Big Ten announced its divisions yesterday and despite not being in the same division, traditional rivals Michigan and Ohio State will still play each other every year. [With Leather]

• Rob Dibble discusses his s**tcanning by MASN. [D.C. Sports Bog]

• The nine greatest motivational football speeches. [Busted Coverage]

• Here’s a sneak peak at the lovely Pauly Creamer’s brand spanking new calendar. Heh. Spank. [Waggle Room]

• The five best moments from episode four of Hard Knocks. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Andy Roddick has once again lost way too early in a big tournament… [Bob's Blitz]

• But how bad can it be when he gets to go home to Brooklyn Decker. Crap, I would intentionally do things to get disqualified to get back to that young lady. [Friends of the Program]

• The Onion Headline of the Day: Man Arriving Early To Party To Walk Up And Down Street For 10 Minutes