Archive for July, 2010
The New York Daily News is reporting that a source high up within the organization has confirmed to them that George Steinbrenner, the larger-than-life owner of the New York Yankees, shuffled off this mortal coil at approximately 6:30 a.m. ET this morning in Tampa after suffering a massive heart attack. He celebrated his 80th birthday just last week.
Whether this should be considered an odd coincidence or a cosmic confluence of events, the fact that the eyes of the entire baseball world will all be fixed on one event this evening, the 2010 All-Star Game in Anaheim, it is safe to say that a majority of the broadcast, as well as the thoughts of many who are not only watching but participating in tonight’s game will be on the great man, who was one of the first owners to step outside the owner’s box and become just as big of a story in the sports world as the games taking place between the lines. And the idea that his death will cast a shadow over the All-Star Game tonight would have most certainly tickled the often egomaniacal Steinbrenner.
In fact, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Rest in peace, Mr. Steinbrenner.
Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died: source [New York Daily News]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s non-Home Run Derby-watching morning link dump. Obviously, it had better things to do, like watching paint dry and then tuning in to watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on Comedy Central. A far better way to spend an evening, I have to agree. Send tips, links and miscellaneous comments, critiques and threats to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• A FedEx truck driver in Washington crashed his rig into a ditch after it jackknifed when he began choking on some spicy pork rinds. No one was seriously injured but the truck driver will be ticketed for “driving with wheels off the roadway,” which to me seems like a weird ticket, but not as weird (and delicious) as eating fried pig skin. Yummy. [Yahoo!/AP]
• The top 15 gnarliest Tour de France crashes. [Ranker]
• If your dream is to be an extra on the move Moneyball, here’s your chance. [Out of Bounds]
• ESPN hottie sideline reporter Jenn Brown has been asked to appear in SI‘s Swimsuit Issue. Yay! [Busted Coverage]
• During last night’s Home Run Derby, Bobby Valentine referred to David Ortiz and Jose Ortiz. Ha. [Tirico Suave]\
• Here are five fun parts of the finals of last night’s home run-related activities. [Big League Screw]
• Vanilla Ice’s eagerly-anticipated post-game concert at Tropicana Field in Tampa Bay did not disappoint. [Bugs & Cranks]
• Thank goodness: David Stern has put his stamp of approval on the Miami Heat’s recent roster makeover. All that guy needs is a fiddle to play while his empire burns. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Patrick Kane continues to haunt the Philadelphia Flyers, this time at their practice facility. [Puck Daddy]
• Here’s the “remix” of the Big 3 party in Miami. The DJ was the bomb. [TAUNTR]
• YBB’s brilliant feature, “The Sports Snob,” soldiers on, addresses the LeBron crap. [You Been Blinded]
• Emmitt Smiff at the WSOP. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Tour De France Cyclists Make It Past Dreaded Underwater Stage
GAH! Good God, man! What sort of perverted science are they practicing in the Bristol laboratories? This image was burning itself into unsuspecting viewers of ESPN’s NFL page earlier today. Why? Tell me, why?
Matthew Berry Football Head is the kind of some genetically-altered creature one would think was spawned on the Island of Dr. Moreau, but possesses the annoying skill of being able to tell you a bunch of meaningless, inane crap about fantasy football. If Berry’s frequent cohort Merrill Hoge ever came upon this…thing, his repeatedly concussed brain would likely cause him to pick Berry’s football head up and spike it. Not saying that’s a bad thing, just making an observation.
What a frightening spheroid, huh? The Sports Hernia Blog thinks the creature looks like the mutated offspring from a coupling between Frosty the Snowman and a Conehead coupling. I have to agree.
Approach ESPN’s NFL page at your own risk [The Sports Hernia Blog]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Happy 3rd birthday, MYFO! You’re all growns up and your all growns up! [Melt Your Face Off]
• Sadly, Paul the Octopus Oracle has retired from prognosticating. Although I heard he was seen making some picks with a high school kids earlier today. [Out of Bounds]
• Speaking of Paul, the secrets behind his deadly accurate prognosticating has been uncovered. [Total Pro Sports]
• Rachel Uchitel. A Paddle. Bikini. Beach. Gallery. Enough said. [Busted Coverage]
• NHL commissioner Gary Bettman makes 7.2 million. Wait. Is that dollars? Jesus. [Puck Daddy]
• Bitter Cleveland Cavaliers fan lets out his hostility towards LeBron James by coming up with the best t-shirt ever. [Larry Brown Sports]
• The commercial for the 2010 All-Star Game was once again completely terrifying. [Warming Glow]
• Guy dressed up as a broccoli mascot proposes to a girl in the stands and shockingly, she accepts. [The700Level]
• John Daly’s girlfriend is quite the entrepreneur. Also, she’s a former Hooters waitress. [With Leather]
• Charles Barkley craps all over the Toronto Raptors during an interview. [Bob's Blitz]
• Here we have another exciting edition of “Ocho & Marvin: Under One Roof!” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Stoner Architect Drafts All-Foyer Mansion
Send tips, links and reasons why I should believe that White Castle isn’t putting mind control drugs in my sliders to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Jake friggin’ Delhomme. Ha.
Well played, Sports Pickle. And sorry, Cleveland.
IMAGE: Cleveland’s new billboard is incredibly depressing [Sports Pickle]
Jesus! It’s like nobody else has ever worked in sports TV before! Jesus! It’s so rude! It’s just so goddamn rude! Jesus!
Apologies for two consecutive Chris Berman-related posts in a row, but big news has been disseminated from up high on Mount Bristol:
Chris Berman is the 2010 recipient of the Pete Rozelle Radio-Television Award which most years pays tribute to “long-time exceptional contributions to radio and television in professional football.” Berman will receive the award during the Enshrinees Dinner on August 6th in Canton, Ohio. Previous winners of the award include Curt Gowdy, Pat Summerall, Frank Gifford, Jack Buck, Dick Enberg, John Madden and Lesley Visser.
Lesley Visser?
With the ever-increasingly useless spectacle of the Home Run Derby upon us once again, I thought I would go the route of the many clever folks before me who have devised ways to make a boring event mildly interesting by introducing alcohol into the mix. You know the routine, “If so-and-so says ‘X’, take ‘Y’ drinks.”
That’s right: to help soothe the troubled and tortured soul who feels compelled to watch the event, I have come up with a Chris Berman-Home Run Derby Drinking Game. It’s quite simple, really, as the play of the drinking game is comprised of only condition:
1) If you tune into the Home Run Derby on ESPN tonight and hear Chris Berman saying something stupid, quickly pound enough booze to get blackout wasted and punch yourself in the balls simply for being a big enough moron that you actually tuned into the the Home Run Derby on ESPN tonight and heard Chris Berman saying something stupid.
I told you it was an easy game, didn’t I?
Oh dear. I’ve heard that Yankees backup catcher Francisco Cervelli sucks balls, but this is ridiculous.
Now, I’m not trying to tell the Yankees how to go about their business, but if I were them, I’d make sure there were no Zapruder-like photographers hiding behind the grassy knoll snapping salacious pics of their homoerotic pregame stretching rituals.
Big ups to the intrepid sleuths over at Hugging Harold Reynolds for procuring the photo. If you happen to have a witty comment regarding the above display of “Doin’ Things the Yankee Way,” head over to HHR and take part in their contest.
Francisco Cervelli Takes Care of His Pitching Staff (Contest) [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
I don’t know about anyone else, but after a blow, I’m pretty wiped out. I can’t imagine climbing on a bike a riding around the mountains all day. Usually, all I want to do is put my pants back on, hightail it out of the particular sex addicts support group meeting I infiltrated and go home and take a nap.
And what exactly does a Tour blow entail anyway? Do you receive it while eating a PowerBar? Wearing a helmet? Or is it just have to do with the fact that an official from the French Anti-Doping Agency watches? So many questions.
Armstrong gets back on the bike after Tour blow [Reuters]
You know, it’s so crazy it just might work…
As long as “it” in the above sentence represents “bilking Jacksonville Jaguars fans of a couple of bucks for a stupid bumper sticker that will have no effect on anything whatsoever besides leaving adhesive on the bumper of your car when you peel it off.”
The grassroots website NOWAYLA.com, which purports to the be the voice of the resistance to Jacksonville’s poorly supported NFL franchise remaining in the Florida city, has upped the ante and are now selling bumper stickers mocking and ridiculing the return of the league to Los Angeles after franchises have repeatedly failed to significantly capture the interest – and financial support – of Los Angelinos.
As Florida Times-Union sportswriter David Johnson points out, “[u]ltimately, the Jaguars need to sell season tickets this year and beyond,” he agrees that “a bumper sticker supporting the team staying in the city certainly doesn’t hurt.” While I am not sure of the extent of the impact of bumper stickers on the movement to keep the Jaguars in Jacksonville will be, the vitriolic manner in which NOWAYLA goes about their business is truly a delight.
Sweet mercy. To be sure, there are certainly fates far worse than having the opportunity of sidling up between these two blond bombshells and sharing in their celebration after the closing ceremonies of the World Cup, but unfortunately, the moment has passed and it was not to be. Sigh.
Shakira kindly uploaded this photo to twitpic of the two beauties having a hug. Of course, both Shakira and Charlize Theron played large roles in the just completed 2010 FIFA World Cup. As a native South African, Theron represented her homeland well when she participated in the draw which placed the 32 teams in their respective groups back in December. Further, I am sure the talented and lovely actress was tremendously proud of the wonderful job her country did at holding the global event.
Shakira, on the other hand, was the World Cup’s official chanteuse. Her song, “Waka Waka” was chosen as the official anthem of the tournament and she performed the song at both the opening and closing ceremonies.
But ultimately, what’s most important is that that we take a moment to thank the gods for creating a confluence of events whereby such a heavenly pair had the chance to meet up and share a warm embrace. Homina homina homina. Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.
Shakira, Spain Triumph At World Cup [Billboard]
(previously at the Sportress: The World Cup Draw Just Got A Lot Sexier With The Inclusion Of Charlize Theron & Lips Don’t Lie: Shakira To Sing World Cup Anthem)
Soccer fan nutjob extraordinaire Jimmy Jump, who has developed quite the notorious reputation for his many brazen attempts at gaining access to the field of play during soccer matches in Europe, performed his grandest stunt and was perhaps the highlight of the day shortly after Spain defeated the Netherlands by a score of 1-0 to win their first World Cup in an otherwise ho-hum, lackluster culmination of a month’s worth of thrilling action.
Via Reuters:
Wearing a red hat and a T-shirt that read “Jimmy Jump against racism” the man managed to slip through tight security and raced on to the pitch in front of close to 90,000 spectators at the Soccer City stadium.
Several security men and stewards managed to wrestle him to the ground as he was about to snatch the trophy, positioned on a stand just inside the touchline.
He was carried away by seven security men as the teams of Netherlands and Spain were about to walk on to the pitch for the national anthems and the start of the final.
Well, if a person who goes by the name Jimmy Jump is against racism, how stupid are racists feeling right now about their bigoted, hateful attitudes? Jimmy Jump just totally burned you racist bastards.
Video of Jimmy Jump getting jacked follows.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Linguapax Prize-winning morning link dump, because we’re all about the multilingual action around here, baby. Like, si, and stuff. Send tips, links and bilingual fan fiction to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• After a bear took off with her disabled pat rabbit George, a woman gave chase across several of her neighbors’ yards in her stocking feet but it was all for naught as the bear would not relinquish the rabbit from his jaws. George was well known in the Anchorage neighborhood “because his back legs were paralyzed and he scooted around on a little cart.” No, I’m not crying…leave me alone! [Yahoo!/AP]
• Chris Fowler is going to have to answer to the Creationists for his “We’re all Africans” comment at the World Cup. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Let’s take a look at the headlines various news outlets went with for their World Cup Final story. [Joe Sports Fan]
• The Top 11 World Cup Final takeaways. [Five Tool Tool]
• Congratulations to Paula Creamer for winning her first Major at Oakmont yesterday. [Waggle Room]
• Wysh tackles the “ESPN is anti-hockey” conspiracy. [Puck Daddy]
• One of the players traded for Cliff Lee once faced rape and sodomy charges. [Bob's Blitz]
• In a tribute to longtime Yankee Stadium announcer Bob Sheppard, who passed away over the weekend, Mr. Rob Iracane chronicles the best names he ever heard the man say. [Walkoff Walk]
• The new LeBron James phone has some interesting features… [Ted Williams Head]
• Awesome: the 7 types of guys who ruin pick-up games. [Guyism]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: It’s Amazing How Much You Can Learn About A Person Just By Hiring A Private Investigator
Now that’s a far better image to wrap up the blogging week compared to last Friday’s Diego Maradona G-string insanity, isn’t it?
Now that we got that disturbing image out of the way, let’s move on to more enjoyable pursuits, shall we? Like yours truly introducing you to a brand new young lady who is sure to capture your fancy.
As the proprietor of this here blog, nothing makes me happier when I can introduce my readers to something new and interesting that they may have not seen or heard about before. And as a Minnesotan, it brings me a dose of pride when said new and interesting item is a beautiful young lady who just so happens to hail from the Land of 10,000 Lakes, so much the better.
Ladies and germs, allow me to introduce you to a brand new entry on the Hottie Sideline Reporter Department: Natalie Kane.
Kane, who has been steadily making her presence known across the media landscape of the Twin Cities, is a delightful young lady: gorgeous, witty and great at what she does. A selection from her biography on her official site:
Natalie can be seen hosting, reporting, anchoring and emcee’ing on the CW Twin Cities, FOX Sports, the TV Guide Network, Big Ten Network, LTF Vision, KFAN Sports Radio , KDWB Hit Music, and in-arena with the Minnesota Timberwolves.
She works on/with the CW Twin Cities Crew, TV Guide’’s Hollywood 411, 21 Cards, Hoops on Campus, Gopher Football with Tim Brewster, Gopher Basketball with Tubby Smith, the Minnesota Timberwolves, Softball 360 and Sled Head 24/7.
Whether she’s hosting, reporting or producing, Natalie always manages to bring out the lighter side of stories, striving to find the entertainment in everything. Her quick wit and warm nature allow her to conduct memorable interviews and tell a good story.
Alrighty then, now that we got that out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff. Photos!
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• So, uh, O.J. Simpson is set to marry his pen pal in prison. I guess a potential spouse wouldn’t have to worry about his whereabouts. [Out of Bounds]
• At least one person had a meet-up with Cleveland’s finest as a result of the LeBron James brouhaha. [Busted Coverage]
• Speaking of LeBron – why wouldn’t we be talking about him, right? – here is a time line of how everything went down via music videos. [Ted Williams Head]
• 11 strange things LeBron said during “The Decision.” [Ball Don't Lie]
• ESPN is going ahead with plans to create even more shows devoted to taking an enormous dump on Cleveland. [TAUNTR]
• Crisis averted! Cheryl Cole has been released from the hospital after a health scare related to malaria. [Bob's Blitz]
• Philadelphia Phillies Jayson Werth had some not so kind words for a dad and his kid after they interfered with his attempt at catching a foul ball. That Werth is a disgrace to bearded men everywhere. [With Leather]
• Some truly horrific NHL jersey fouls. Yeesh. [Puck Daddy]
• Yay! Another sex/fantasy football mailbag! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Here’s a rundown of major leaguers who are total wussies and came down with injuries. [Walkoff Walk]
• Hilarious animated GIF of a guy in a Pirates hat falling down while dancing. [PSAMP]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: I Should Really Get Around To Reporting My Wife Missing (By Jason Leland)
Send tips, links and whatnot to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
