Who In The Hell Thought A Hockey Musical Movie Was A Good Idea? Morons, That’s Who

I use this line a lot but never has it been so fitting and so perfectly articulating of what I am thinking right now about the film (from Canada, of course), Score: A Musical:


Via Puck Daddy:

“Score: A Hockey Musical” has been on our radar since it was reported that Olivia Newton-John was going to be in the cast as a hockey mom; which naturally stirred nostalgic feelings of seeing her saunter into practice in a leather outfit and purring “tell me about it, stud” to the bewildered coach. It gives us chills. They’re multiplying.

The trailer for this potential camp masterpiece is out and the thing looks like equal parts “Glee,” “High School Musical” and the worst “Mighty Ducks” sequel never produced. (Oh, to have heard the dramatic torch song Goldie the Goalie could have belted in an empty concession stand.)

Hoo boy. Wysh has a bunch of other interesting nuggets regarding the afterbirth of celluloid, but try as he might, Wysh cannot explain why the people behind this project do not deserve to be drawn and quartered while simultaneously being forced to watch episodes of Cop Rock (here’s the intro to that abomination of a television show, which features Randy Newman and when featuring Randy Newman singing the theme song is the best thing going for a show, it’s in big, big trouble).


Video: Try not to cringe at the ‘Score: A Hockey Musical’ trailer [Puck Daddy]

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  1. LeNoceur

    July 14, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Oh, it was a team effort out there
    The boys were all skating so hard
    We got some big saves from Murph
    And timely goals from Smitty and Ward

    Coach was really rolling four lines
    And our D-men were standing them up
    But it sure was a painful discovery
    That Jorgenson forgot to wear his cup

  2. LeNoceur

    July 14, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Song #2: The Bunny’s Lament

    Oh, why won’t he look at me?
    I made this handlettered sign
    Asking him to marry me
    Without having to wine or dine

    I’ve waited by the parking lot
    For him to shower and drive home
    But somehow he still avoids me
    Why must I always be alone?

    I customized his home sweater
    With rhinestones and glitter glue
    My friends say I’m delusional
    But I swear, it’s just not true

    One day, he’ll really see me
    My face pressed against the glass
    If only he could somehow know
    I’d surely let him tap this ass

  3. LeNoceur

    July 14, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    Song #3: The Second Intermission

    What’s wrong with you sorry bastards?
    After two, we’re down by five.
    Start playing some fucking D,
    Or I’ll skin you all alive.

    Jensen, are your legs broken?
    Or did you forget how to skate?
    And Miller, you fucking moron;
    Offsides means you have to wait.

    How did I get roped into this gig?
    Coaching this bunch of sorry sacks?
    Howard, you should hang it up,
    And give your bonus money back.

    And if I see one more drop pass
    Just inside the defensive zone,
    I swear to Christ I’ll bench you
    And send you down to Saskatoon.

    Now let’s try a different trick,
    As we go out to start the third
    Try not to embarrass me,
    You bunch of worthless turds.

  4. Latrina Luckey

    February 19, 2011 at 1:01 am

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