With the ever-increasingly useless spectacle of the Home Run Derby upon us once again, I thought I would go the route of the many clever folks before me who have devised ways to make a boring event mildly interesting by introducing alcohol into the mix. You know the routine, “If so-and-so says ‘X’, take ‘Y’ drinks.”
That’s right: to help soothe the troubled and tortured soul who feels compelled to watch the event, I have come up with a Chris Berman-Home Run Derby Drinking Game. It’s quite simple, really, as the play of the drinking game is comprised of only condition:
1) If you tune into the Home Run Derby on ESPN tonight and hear Chris Berman saying something stupid, quickly pound enough booze to get blackout wasted and punch yourself in the balls simply for being a big enough moron that you actually tuned into the the Home Run Derby on ESPN tonight and heard Chris Berman saying something stupid.
I told you it was an easy game, didn’t I?