Archive for June, 2010
“It’s like…so weird” and “up your nose with a rubber hose!” and so on and so forth. And yes, I know 90% of you have no idea what or who I am referring to. Damn kids.
I know, I know, instead of Vinnie Barbarino from Welcome Back, Kotter, I should have went with one of Travolta’s more critically-acclaimed roles: Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction, for instance, even James Ubriacco from Look Who’s Talking and its much better sequels, Look Who’s Talking Too and Look Who’s Talking Now, but I went with the nostalgic choice. Sue me.
Moving on, here’s the gist of Travolta’s dance-infused (of course he danced) visit with the Socceroos, courtesy of an AP report (via The San Diego Union-Tribune):
The movie star is an ambassador for one of the team’s sponsors, Qantas, and dropped in on Australia’s five-star resort lodge in Muldersdrift, 25 miles west of Johannesburg.
Midfielder Carl Valeri was thrilled with the visit, saying “I watch his movies and I love them. … It’s fantastic really.”
Goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer said Travolta “wished us well,” and called him “inspirational.” Schwarzer said “you just have to look at how the guys were excited to get photos with him.”
Inspirational? I’ll tell you what’s inspirational: Battlefield Earth. That’s the stuff, dude.
And who knew Scientologists were allowed to like soccer? Who woulda thunk it, right?
Travolta pays visit to Australia’s World Cup team [San Diego Union-Tribune]
The caption accompanying the above photo:
June 11, 2010 – 06020201 date 11 06 2010 Copyright imago A Mexican supporter goes to The Toilet FIFA World Cup 2010 Group A South Africa v Mexico 11th June 2010 PUBLICATIONxNOTxINxUK men Football World Cup National team international match Johannesburg Opening match Vdig xsk 2010 horizontal Highlight premiumd
Shameful. Simply shameful. As Bob’s Blitz astutely points out, how do they know this guy is a fan of Mexico? ¡Ay, caramba!
But hey, those toilets look mighty clean. You could eat out of those things. Not that I would recommend it.
[H/T Bob's Blitz]
Two yahoos, one wearing a LeBron James jersey, disrupted the Indians-Red Sox game last night at Progressive Field in Cleveland last night by jumping over the railing in right field. They managed to make it all the way across the outfield to the left field foul line before they were tackled by security.
As mentioned above, one was wearing a LeBron jersey, perhaps as a well-meaning but not appropriately thought out gesture to convince James to stay in Cleveland by showing him that fans in Cleveland can be just as impassioned, annoying and retarded as any of those found in Chicago, New York or wherever else LeBron might end up.
If you watch closely, the dolt wearing the jersey appears to have some sort of white powder trailing him, perhaps as an homage to LeBron’s powder-related pregame ritual. And by “powder-related pregame ritual,” I am not talking about LeBron snorting a couple of rails of yeyo in order to get wired and primed for the game. That would obviously be an example of rampant, unsubstantiated speculation, something we do not engage in here at the Sportress. How do you people come up with this stuff? Speaking of which, you didn’t hear it from me, but the word on the street is that LeBron is headed to the Washington Generals. Maybe he could turn that backwards franchise around.
Another version of the same video, only in close up, after the jump.
At least I think that’s a bra. Hey man, I’m no Sid Farkus. Further, it’s Friday. Enjoy it for what it is, for crying out loud.
On its best days, I like to think of the Sportress as your one-stop shop for all things LPGA-related – especially when it involves pretty ladies. That is why today, I am pleased to inform you, my dear readers, of the triumphant return of Minea Blomqvist to the LPGA Tour after giving birth to a bouncing baby boy on March 31st. Blomqvist had been on a one-year hiatus due to her pregnancy and is presently competing at the State Farm Classic in Springfield, Illinois.
So, welcome back into the fold, Minea. I hadn’t realized it until just now, but we must have been missing you tremendously during your time away – or at least should have been.
To get you better acquainted with the fresh-faced Finn, I have prepared a photo gallery of Miss Blomqvist for your perusal. I particularly enjoy the one of her with a friend and Charles Barkley. We can only imagine what was going through Sir Charles mind at that moment. On second thought, maybe we don’t want to know.
Minea Blomqvist [Golf Babes]
State Farm Classic Notebook: Baby trumps Blomqvist’s 81 [The State Journal Register]
First it was the Chicago Tribune taking a photoshopic potshot at Chrissy Pronger. Next came Adam Burish referring to the beleaguered Flyers defenseman as “the biggest idiot in the league.” Now this? Sooner or later, Chicago’s Chris Pronger Bucket O’ Haterade has got to dry up, right?
Courtesy of the esteemed Puck Daddy comes this photo illustrating how someone affiliated with the Blackhawks organization had a little fun with Chicago’s locker room markerboard. Straight out of the Junior High School Prank Guidebook we have one unnamed person’s editorial comment regarding the supposed sexuality of Chris Pronger. As you can see, someone added “is gay” immediately after Pronger’s name on the Blackhawks’ matchup markerboard.
As Wysh astutely points out, since there were tons of people besides the players granted access to the locker room during the celebratory revelry after Chicago’s Stanley Cup-clinching Game 6 victory, the wisecracking graffiti artist could have been pretty much anyone. Nevertheless, the handwritten addition was pretty stupid and immature at best, which is exactly why I chuckled when first I saw it. This sort of lowbrow humor is right up my alley, you see, in case you haven’t noticed.
Pronger mocked during Blackhawks’ locker room celebration [Puck Daddy]
Video: Burish calls Pronger ‘biggest idiot,’ and ‘terrible’ in Game 6 [Puck Daddy]
(previously at the Sportress: Holy Nightmare Fueled Photoshop Of ‘Chrissy’ Pronger, Batman!)
Sweet sassy molassey. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but the above video detailing the exploits of a ragtag bunch of “die-hard” Lakers fans during a day of shenanigans gallivanting around the streets of Boston is as about as awkward as watching a Clay Aiken concert with your homophobic grandfather. These fellas take the philosophy of “Gotta support the team” to an entirely different level. What a delightful romp (/no homo).
The soundtrack of “California Gurls” by Katy Perry really does tie the whole thing together in a nice fancy little bow. Brilliant.
Many, many thanks to the incomparable and always hilarious TAUNTR for the video. Thanks a bunch, guys. If you’re not checking out their site daily, you are missing out.
Lakers Fans Do Boston [TAUNTR]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Australian of the Year award-winning morning link dump. Crikey! The dingo ate your baby, g’day, mate, etc. etc. Send tips, links and recipes for Vegemite sandwiches to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Soccer ball trickery guy Chris Beavon, 19, set the world record for most consecutive “around the worlds” in one minute by performing the trick 21 times in 45 seconds. In other news, a hooker in Vegas just performed 15 “around the worlds” in 24 hours. Now she can’t walk. Or sit. [Yahoo!/AFP]
• This is sad: guy who got hit by Tiger Woods’ ball thinks he’s famous now. Sigh. [Out of Bounds]
• Wow: photographic evidence of another child pounding brewskis at a Phillies game. It’s an epidemic, people. [Ted Williams Head]
• ESPN is about to go all ESPN-y on the World Cup. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Colin Cowherd is Schrutebagging it up again. [Bob's Blitz]
• NBA Finals Game 4 LOLCATZ. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Another entertaining and informative edition of “Ask Joe Thornton.” [Melt Your Face Off]
• Well how about that? We also have another entertaining and informative edition of the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. It’s a twofer of advice dispensing goodness! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Here’s an enlightening World Cup preview from an Ugly American. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
• The Dodgers hired some Russian new age guru to transmit energy to the team. I wonder if the guy was related to Rasputin. [The Sporting Blog]
• The top 10 ways you can sound informed about the World Cup without actually knowing anything. [Five Tool Tool]
• Do you find yourself missing the “NBA on NBC” theme? There are others like you. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Some “fancy” Lakers fans from LA invade Boston. [TAUNTR]
• Sexy ladies of the World Cup gallery? Sexy ladies of the World Cup gallery. [straitpinkie]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Enormous Grace Slick Threatens California Coastline
This Just In: Steve Nash Rules
Posted by:If you haven’t heard yet, Steve Nash will be serving as a reporter for the 2010 World Cup by filing video segments for CBSSports.com. Above, Steve invites us along as he begins his long, treacherous journey to South Africa…while paddling on a surfboard.
Steve Nash, shine on you crazy diamond. You truly are the most ridiculous man in the world.
[H/T The Offside Rules (via That NBA Lottery Pick]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• The infidelity website AshleyMadison.com offered$25 million to secure the naming rights to the new Giants/Jets stadium. [Out of Bounds]
• Stephen A. Smith whips it out. The race card, I mean, regarding Nationals draft pick Bryce Harper. [Larry Brown Sports]
• There is probably no single person more thrilled with the Blackhawks Stanley Cup championship than Vince Vaughn. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Blackhawks winger Adam Burish lays into Chris Pronger, referring to him as “the biggest idiot in the league.” [Pro Hockey Talk]
• Get caught up on world events with FCL Finishes The Headline. [Food Court Lunch]
• The Blackhawks have planned their victory parade through the yard of every Cubs player? That’s not very nice. [TAUNTR]
• Lady Gaga took in a Mets game. [Bootlegger Sports]
• An online coaching simulator has been officially licensed by the NFL. [Shutdown Corner]
• Former big league manager (who never managed in an actual game) Wally Backman is trying to make a comeback in the minor leagues. While doing so, he had one helluva major meltdown while getting ejected. [Bob's Blitz]
• I’m not sure, but it certainly looks like Kobe Bryant wiped some boogers in Ric Bucher’s hair in this video. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Tom Brady is a traitor. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Photos from Miss World Cup 2010, anyone? I thought so. [Unathletic]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: [video] Do Glass Pipes, Incense Prove Teens Are Practicing Shamanism?
Send tips and other stuff to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
Girls simply from the mind descended from Alexander the Great
Big ups to Mr. Irrelevant for coming across these photos of the Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player himself unwinding by whooping it up with some ladies, some beers and what appears to be a victim of the Chernobyl meltdown.
More photos and more amusing translations – like the one above , courtesy of Babelfish – of the photo captions and the article from Life Sports where the photos originated after the jump.
Get it? “Head Over Heels”, as in their song? Still don’t think it’s funny? Screw you then.
Anyhoo, sad news to report on The Go Go’s front: the ’80s vixens best known for their gems “Vacation” and “We Got The Beat” have canceled their summer “Happily Ever After” farewell tour after guitarist Jane Wiedlin took a nasty spill while hiking in California. This terrible tragedy leaves the Tampa Bay Rays with an opening on July 10th on their much-ballyhooed Saturday summer concert series’ schedule. Case in point: Bret Michaels will be rocking the Trop in September! (makes “sign of the horns” gesture). Still, what are the Rays to do? From Tampa Bay Online:
“We only just learned of their cancellation this morning and at this point are exploring what options may be available to us to ensure our fans have the best possible experience that night,” a spokesman for the Rays said.
The Rays’ Saturday concert series has been a bright light in the team’s well-documented attendance woes. Concert nights have attracted the season’s bigger crowds.
Yeah, when the friggin’ Go Go’s are helping a major league baseball team draw larger crowds, the team doesn’t have attendance woes, they have attendance “whoas!”
What? Sorry, but I’m not that huge of a Go Go’s fan. Myself? I was much more about the Belinda Carlisle solo career, my friends. I’ll show her that she was right in singing Heaven Is A Place On Earth…at least for 30 passion-filled seconds or so. Sure, Belinda has aged a bit, but hey, it’s still better than dry-humping a Circle in the Sand, amirite?
Go-Go’s cancel tour after guitarist’s fall; Rays’ concert off? [Tampa Bay Online]
(previously at the Sportress: If He’s Not Dead Yet, Bret Michaels Will Be Rocking Tropicana Field In September)
Our long, double-penetrating, national nightmare is finally over. Pennsylvanian Susan Finkelstein, the so-called “Sex For World Series Tickets Hoochie Mama” (okay, that’s my name for her) was sentenced to one year of probation for allegedly offering a multitude of sexual favors to an undercover police officer posing as interested party in exchange for tickets to a World Series game between the hometown Phillies and Yankees in October of last year. Boy, does that suck the balls of anonymous strangers or what? Via MyFox Philly:
A judge outside Philadelphia said on Thursday that Finkelstein will receive one year of probation and she must perform 100 hours of community service duty.
Finkelstein was sentenced in Doylestown, Pa., after the judge denied her request for a mistrial. She was found guilty of attempted prostitution but not guilty of prostitution in March.
100 hours of community service? Huh. I’ve heard of Meals on Wheels, but Hummers in Hummers? That’s another story – albeit a more ejaculatory, gas-guzzling, (among other fluids) one – altogether.
No Jail Time In Phillies Sex-For-Tickets Case [MyFox Philly]
(previously at the Sportress: Susan Finkelstein’s ‘Sex For World Series Tickets’ Trial As Comical As Expected & Susan Finkelstein’s Got A ‘Phillies Fever’ And The Only Prescription Is More Whoring For World Series Tickets)
At approximately 6:00 a.m. PST this morning, two emergency beacons on Abby Sunderland’s boat were manually activated by the 16-year-old girl after her 40-foot boat encountered 20-25 foot waves and 35-knot winds knocked her down twice. Her boat is equipped with a beacon that will go off automatically if it contacts water has not been activated, but the nearest ship is located nearly 400 miles away.
Sunderland is attempting to become the youngest person ever to circumnavigate the globe solo.
Via ABC News:
[Engineer on Sunderland's support team Jeff] Casher told ABC News that he last spoke with the 16-year-old sailor around 6 a.m. PDT after she had been knocked down twice during the night because of strong winds — meaning that her sail had touched the water.
One of those knock-downs, Casher said, ripped the radar off the boat. She had been speaking with Casher on a satellite telephone earlier because of engine problems and was in the process of fixing those problems when she told Casher she’d call right back.
She has not been heard from since, except for the distress signals.
Sweet Christ. That is just horrible news. Let’s hope for the best for this brave young lady who has more courage in her pinky finger than I have in my entire body and that she is heard from soon.
Abby Sunderland Feared Lost at Sea [ABC News]
On Wednesday, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers acknowledged that shooting from the hip and going off half-cocked while making spiteful comments regarding Tony Kornheiser and other ESPN analysts was probably not the best idea, although in doing so, he never came out and admitted what he said was not true.
Discussing the controversy with the Packers Blog of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel (via The Huddle), Rodgers had this to say regarding his ESPN NFL Analyst Impromptu Celebrity Roast earlier this week:
Before you know it, that bad boy is going to become self-aware, and when that happens? Hoo boy, look out.
What Twins righthander may lack in overpowering stuff on the pitching rubber, he more than makes up for it with the continued development of his epic mustache. Look at that thing: glorious. a third ‘70s porn star-esque, a third Tom Sellickian, and a rest a combination of the style of the tying-helpless-damsels-in-distress-to-train-tracks silent movie villain and Mark Spitz, Pavano’s soup strainer is rocketing up the rankings of most stylistic performance in the area of facial hair by a major league baseball player.
Some background (via the Pioneer Press):
Pavano started growing the mustache toward the end of the Twins’ 2-5 road trip to the American League East in May. He did it, he said, to lighten the mood after a tough stretch of games. And he’s keeping it, he said, despite the dark patch of facial hair terrifying his young daughter early on and drawing considerable ribbing from no doubt all sides of the clubhouse.
Told on Wednesday night that Gardenhire said the mustache made Pavano look mean, the starter laughed.
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what he said,” he said. “That’s not what he’s telling me.”
And it appears to be working. Last night, Pavano went 8 innings, surrendered only 6 hits and 2 earned runs in the Twins’ 8-2 victory over the Royals, evening his season record at 6-6. When asked how long he intended on keeping the ‘stache, Pavano said, “Probably forever.” I like the guy’s dedication. As a Twins fan, hopefully, come October, Pavano will still be on a tear and look a little something like this. Now that would be something. Below are a couple of more photos of Pavano rocking the mustache for your admiration. Keep it up, man.
Note: You might be asking yourself, “What is up with the last photo on the right of the crotch shot of the USC Song Girl?” I thought the same thing when I did an Google image search for “Carl Pavano Mustache”. Just thought I would include it as a little treat.
What’s not to like about Carl Pavano? [Pioneer Press]
