Archive for June, 2010
As the old saying goes, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” And that certainly seems to be the case with the news that the most popular counterfeit World Cup jerseys in the Chinese black market are those for the country of Spain. Via The Telegraph:
Counterfeit versions of the Spanish jersey – whose vibrant colours evoke the red and yellow of the Chinese communist flag – are the top-selling World Cup merchandise on auction sites such as Taobao.com.
More than 100,000 jerseys of World Cup teams have been sold online, most of them fakes costing around 50 yuan (7.30 dollars) each, the China Daily reported, citing online sales data.
Pirated Spain kits lead the way with 17,430 sold, followed by the shirts of Germany, England, France, Argentina, Italy, Brazil, Portugal, the Netherlands and Japan, it said.
Now, I know what you are thinking (other than, “My word, this Weed Against Speed guy is one sharp fellow,” of course): how does this in any way have anything to do with revenge? Obviously, your memory of racist “slanted-eyed” photos is not as keen as mine.
For those of you who do not recall what occurred during the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, Spain’s Olympic men’s basketball team posed for the above grossly inappropriate photo. Even worse (or more ill-conceived) the photo was part of a promotion for a Spanish courier company which appeared in several prominent newspapers and sports magazines throughout Spain. Yeah.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, shortly after the above photo began making waves, a photo depicting the Spain’s women’s team doing the same “slant-eye” pose surfaced (below).
So, take that, Spanish World Cup team! Ha! It looks like China has finally exacted its revenge for your country’s widespread racism! How is that, you say? How does the fact that Chinese people are buying fake counterfeit Spanish World Cup jerseys in their own country have anything to do with Spain, their World Cup squad or the Spanish people at all? Good question, I guess. And to be honest, um, I don’t know. It just…does. And stuff.
World Cup 2010: Spain jersey is top fake on China’s black market [The Telegraph]
Spain bring racism to the Olympic Games [The Spoiler]
Nah, just kidding. These are just run-of-the-mill educational centers for kids. Although there has been no word on whether or not any of the curriculum will deal with teaching the kids the tools necessary to one day grow up to be adulterers, I would highly doubt it. You know, with the potential for lawsuits, institutional liability and all that jazz. I do know, however, that the curriculum will focus mainly on “science, technology, engineering, math and communications,” which is probably the best way to go, all things considered.
Moving on, the Tiger Woods Foundation announced Tuesday that two Tiger Woods Learning Centers (you know, for kids!) are set to open in the D.C. area. Woods released the following statement through his foundation (via Sporting News):
“I’m excited we are moving forward on this initiative in the Washington, D.C. community. The two campuses will bring the best of our curriculum to some very deserving kids. A lot of people have helped to make this happen, and I’m very grateful for their support.”
Despite everything, it is nice to see Tiger remaining focused on his charitable and public service works despite his personal life crumbling all around him. Further, it is good to know that Woods is maximizing his time working with his charities and foundation while his divorce settlement with Elin is getting hammered out, because once that bad boy is finalized and Tiger is free to pursue his – ahem – other interests, look out ladies, because Tiger will likely be looking to make up for a lot of lost, blue-balled time. Hey, it’s true. We all know it.
Two Tiger Woods Learning Center campuses set to open in D.C. [Sporting News]
First, the NFL eschewed an alcoholic beverage with, you know, actual flavor when they chose Anheuser-Busch products as its official beer sponsor earlier this year, now they have upped the average, middle-of-the-road ante by selecting Papa John’s as its official pizza sponsor by signing a three-year, multimillion-dollar deal with the purveyors of pedestrian pizza. From the AP report:
Papa John’s, the third-largest pizza company behind Pizza Hut and Domino’s, said the sponsorship means it can use NFL logos and trademarks, including the NFL shield logo, in its advertising and marketing.
Papa John’s Chief Marketing Officer Andrew Varga said the affilation “will greatly enhance our brand-building efforts.” The Louisville-based company plans a multipronged blitz that includes advertising, promotions and digital campaigns, he said.
“To have that powerful affiliation of their branding with our branding should allow us to really see some nice, measurable results,” Varga said.
While I understand that the NFL had to go with a national brand when it selected an official sponsor, Papa John’s is hands-down the worst of the big three corporate pizza makers (Pizza Slut and Domino’s being the other two), which really isn’t saying much, but still. And while I can also appreciate and admire that Papa John guy’s rags-to-riches story, the pizza is terrible, in my opinion. I mean what’s the deal with the pepperoncini they give you with your pizza? And why only one? Don’t get me wrong, those little suckers are delicious, but are the people who are sharing the pizza supposed to split that thing or are they supposed to arm wrestle for it?
And that artificial butter sauce? Does the average person really need more grease on a pizza or are people supposed to use it to lube themselves up so they can wedge themselves through the bathroom door for the inevitable diarrhetic explosion that is sure to come within hours of feasting upon a Papa John’s pizza? Six of one, half dozen of the other, I guess. Either way, you’ll be pooping soon enough.
I suppose it makes good business sense – most people have little to no perception of what comprises a tasty pie, thus the enormous success of the national chains. Crap, people will pay hard-earned money for Little Caesar’s, for crying out loud. But any person who freely chooses to go with corporate conglomerates for their pizza-eating needs and ignores the many mom and pop-type of options available practically everywhere, all hope is lost on them anyway. They should eat up all the Papa John’s they can, I guess.
But in the end, all football fans (myself included) are more or less lemmings willing to throw ourselves off the metaphorical cliff when it pertains to anything NFL-related. If they say we should buy a certain pizza and pair it with a watered-down, tasteless beer, dammit, we probably will. Just keep delivering the goods and I’ll choke down whatever sub-par product they tell me to.
Papa John’s to be NFL pizza sponsor [AP]
(previously at the Sportess: NFL: ‘So Long, Old Flavorless Beer Sponsor; Greetings, New Flavorless Beer Sponsor’)
Aaron Rodgers evidently doesn’t give two craps about burning bridges with media members, in particular those blowhards over at ESPN. In an interview with, oddly, ESPN Milwaukee, Rodgers takes shots at various ESPN talking heads, but saves his most vitriolic, spiteful statements for one Tony Kornheiser.
First, here are Rodgers’ comments about ESPN’s NFL analysts overall (via Sports Radio Interviews):
On who he listens to or talks to whose analysis he respects:
“A good starting point is if you have played in the league and had some success. I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about guys on ESPN and stuff like that. (Editor: What about Ron Jaworski?) I like him, but, when I was coming out, he did the worst segment in the history of TV about me talking about my fundamentals. It was not even close to anywhere near my fundamentals. The first time I met him, someone introduced me to him and I said, ‘Yeah I know him. He’s the guy who ripped me before the draft.’ The rest of the night he told me how great I was. I was like, ‘I know your song and dance.’ And now he loves me. I like Trent. He does a good job. He’s had success at the position. You look at Marcellus Wiley up there talking about quarterback play. The guy was a defensive end for a few years in the league. He’s not any good.”
I have to agree with everything the Packers quarterback has to say about some of the woodheads employed by tWWL, especially about Ron Jaworski. It does not surprise me one bit that Jaws comes off as a two-faced ass-kisser.
But that’s nothing compared to the smack down Rodgers lays on Tony Kornheiser:
On Tony Kornheiser:
“You know who was better than Tony Kornheiser? Dennis Miller was ten times better. Dennis Miller was a great comedian, but one of the worst Monday Night Football guys ever. And he was ten times better than Tony Kornheiser. His stuff was actually funny. Tony stuff wasn’t funny at all. He did no research. We’d sit in those production meetings and he would add absolutely nothing to the conversation. I’d be like, ‘What are we doing here? This is stupid.’… You get in there with Tony and he’s asking you all these dumb questions that have no application to the game you are playing or anything you are doing. He’s terrible… I don’t think he’s funny. I don’t think he’s insightful. I don’t think knows anything about sports.”
Hoo boy. Now, I love Kornheiser’s work on Pardon the Interruption, but simply by opining that Dennis Miller, a/k/a one of the worst hires by a network for work as an NFL game analyst ever (he’s right up there with Brian Baldinger), he provided the ultimate insult regarding Kornheiser’s performance on Monday Night Football. I wonder if his stance on the ESPN talking head has anything to do with Kornheiser’s man-crush on Rodgers’ one-time foil, Brett Favre.
Nevertheless, Aaron Rodgers, you sir, have made yourself a mortal enemy. If you think for one second Tony K. is going to invite you to his American Idol finale party next year, you have another thing coming, buddy. But Rodgers can still show up for the Justin Bieber circle jerk Kornheiser has planned for this weekend. The more the merrier.
Aaron Rodgers Ranks Tom Brady “Best by Far” and Thinks Tony Kornheiser is “Terrible” [Sports Radio Interviews]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Norbert Wiener Award for Social and Professional Responsibility-winning morning link dump. Heh. Wiener. Send tips, links and suggestions to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Okay, it is Tuesday today, but work with me. A cafe an Australia has claimed to have cooked the world’s biggest burger. Tipping the scales at 178 pounds and weighing in with fixins at 90 kg (198 lb), it beat the previously held record of 84 kg and it required four men to flip the damn thing. The end result consisted of “the giant beef patty, 120 eggs, 150 slices of cheese, 1.5 kg of beetroot, 2.5 kg of tomatoes and almost 2 kg of lettuce all topped off with a special sauce on a giant sesame seed bun” and was eaten by the cafe’s employees. According to the rules laid out by Guinness, the burger must be on the menu for one year and will sell for $1,220 American. I heard the burger will be served with a Rolaids tablet the size of a standard car tire. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
• Our pal Punte from With Leather recaps his panel appearance at Blogs With Balls 3. Damn, that was last weekend? [With Leather]
• It’s time for another edition of Darren Daulton’s Week in Preview. This week, Darren discusses how the United States will fare in their World Cup match against England. [Out of Bounds]
• YBB rolls out a great new feature, “The Sports Snobs.” [You Been Blinded]
• Carrie Underwood participated in a softball tournament, thereby increasing the sexiness factor by, um, a lot, I guess. [Bob's Blitz]
• Conan O’Brien performed in Philly while wearing a Flyers jersey. [The700Level]
• Daunte Culpepper and Dennis Green have reunited and it feels so good. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Reasons why the MLS on Versus is good for the NHL. [From The Rink]
• How the New York Knicks helped the Boston Celtics reach the NBA Finals. [Outside the Boxscore]
• The top 10 signs Stephen Strasburg’s first start for the Nationals is overhyped. [Five Tool Tool]
• Surfer fights shark, wins. [The Last Angry Fan]
• Kobe Bryant and Ray Allen have completely different reactions to a pantsless Dick Bavetta. Wait, what? [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: [video] Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers
Really, I have nothing to add to this piece of awkwardness – to be honest, I just wanted to bust out that R. Budd Dwyer reference, even if it’s quite a reach. Huh.
Why don’t I let the professionals handle this one? From The Huffington Post (via With Leather):
In a discussion of the blown call during Wednesday night’s almost-perfect-game, Burnett argued that the umpire and pitcher’s “graciousness” were so “beautiful” that it made for a “more memorable moment” than a perfect game would have.
“See, this is why women aren’t in charge of sports,” Haines shot back.
A shocked Burnett then transitioned to a panel, while making a joke about punching Haines and turning CNBC into the UFC.
See, this is why we shouldn’t provide morons a forum to express their thoughts. Or something. Yeah.
Mark Haines Makes Sexist Comment On CNBC, Refuses To Apologize (VIDEO) [The Huffington Post]
Fat, Caucasian Cable News Anchor Explains To The World ‘Why Women Aren’t In Charge Of Sports’ [With Leather]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:
• Tiny Streaker is gonna get ya. [Out of Bounds]
• My former comrades at MYFO held their first-ever meeting of the minds. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Ladies and gentlemen, the Phillie Phanatic has issues. [Walkoff Walk]
• And in other mascot news, Ace, the Blue Jays mascot, was pretty pissed off yesterday. [Bugs & Cranks]
• And now, in news that makes me want to puke, Justin Bieber got to hold Lord Stanley’s Cup. Screw that chick. [With Leather]
• The puns in mainstream golf coverage are getting out of hand. [Waggle Room]
• Two Cubs fans with the “Sweet” and “Dude” tattoos a la Dude, Where’s My Car infamy. Christ. [Joe Sports Fan]
• I’m pretty sure Tiger Woods hit everyone in attendance at the Memorial yesterday. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Austrian tennis players are pretty bad ass, especially when they are choking another Austrian tennis player. [The Sporting Blog]
• Ron Artest’s tweets as read by a seven-year-old girl. [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• The Pac-10 is all about the Asians. [EDSBS]
• More bad news: Mark Sanchez and Jamie Lynn Sigler are definitely an item. [Bob's Blitz]
• Michael Jordan was at the Blackhawks-Flyers game last night. [Mouthpiece Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters
Send tips, links and your grandma’s recipe for pot brownies to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
GAH! Is this a still from Saw X: Jigsaw Takes Up Golfing or something?
Actually, this photo was taken by PGA player Zach Johnson at a charity event hosted by Stewart Cink, the man willing to risk life and dong pictured above. According to the incomparable Waggle Room, a trick shot artist was on hand and wanted to do a demonstration and who better to put his balls on the line than the host himself?
Either way, the guy is completely nuts. But it was all for charity, so I will refrain from referring to the guy as a total scrote.
Penis.
Stewart Cink Has A Ball Teed Off of His Balls [Waggle Room]
Not that's there anything wrong with that
Not familiar with that one? How about this little diddy?
They’re gone, Oh I,
Oh I’d better learn how to face it
They’re gone, Oh I,
Oh, I’d pay the devil to replace them
They’re gone – what went wrong?
Alright, I’ll tell you what went wrong – in light of the state of Arizona’s new immigration laws, Hall & Oates could not bring themselves to perform a post-game concert on July 2nd at Chase Field when the Diamondbacks take on the Dodgers. In fact, the Blue-Eyed Soul legends issued the following statement (via Daily Pitch):
“In addition to our personal convictions, we are standing in solidarity with the music community in our boycott of performing in Arizona at this time. We would like to emphasize that this has nothing to do with the management of the Arizona Diamondbacks, who have been professional and cooperative throughout our dealings with them. This is our response to a very specific action of the state.”
Aw man, Hall & Oates, Say It Isn’t So. Is it possible for them to somehow work something out? Maybe a little One on One with the team’s president and CEO, Derrick Hall (no relation):
“The cancellation of this post-game concert is another example of how controversial this issue is,” he said.
Indeed. But I really wish they could come to terms. I was planning on attending the concert and do you know what, Hall & Oates? You Make My Dreams Come True (woo- ooh, oooh-ooh, woo-ooh).
Now that I have sufficiently proven my love of Hall & Oates beyond a reasonable (and acceptable) amount, I’m done here.
Hall and Oates cancel concert plans in response to Arizona immigration law [Daily Pitch]
When you go to bed tonight and are saying your prayers (because I know you guys still do that), say one for Salt Lake Bees pitcher Sean O’Sullivan. Not only is he serving as the resident ace of the Pacific Coast League team’s pitching staff, another far more demeaning, sexually humiliating role has been “thrust” upon him by the organization.
He’s the team’s resident slump buster. Ewww.
“He’s been our slump buster,” Salt Lake manager Bobby Mitchell said. “He’s pitched really well lately, along with [Daniel] Davidson.”
Now, I am no great baseball mind or anything and I probably should mind my own business, but wouldn’t the fact that he’s pitching well lately cause a team to not want to mess with his mind (among other things) via sexual violation? Of course, I did not read the entire article – I am much, much too busy – but as far as I understand it after consulting Urban Dictionary, “slump buster” only has one general meaning, so I am compelled to base my opinion via that reliable and always accurate source.
Let’s just hope that this O’Sullivan fellow is a bit easier on the eyes than one of Jason Giambi’s purported slump busters from back in the day. For his teammates’ sake.
Bees need ‘slump buster’ to do his stuff [The Salt Lake Tribune]
For those of you who have never pursued a life dedicated to the mastery of the Bowling Arts , it will be difficult to understand how good it feels to work yourself into a Ten Pin Groove. The ball is coming out of your hand and rotating nicely, you have just enough Easy Slide applied to your plant foot and the ball is cutting across the boards beautifully.
Now, I have had my fair share of sweet runs as it pertains to strikes in my bowling career, but nothing compared to the absolutely ridiculous zone Pennsylvanian Tommy Gollick found himself in during league play on May 11th when he threw 47 consecutive strikes. After rolling a 279 in his first game, Gollick proceeded to roll three consecutive 300 games. Sweet Sassy Molassey.
Gollick on his unbelievable run, which according the United States Bowling Congress broke the world record of 40 strikes in a row by a Washington woman in 1986 (via The Patriot-News):
“It got kind of quiet,” said Gollick, a 32-year-old from Swatara Township. “It was a league night, and all but two of the 24 lanes were being used. Nobody was really bowling when I was finishing up the last game there. It was something.”
“I had gotten the house record, 35 [strikes] in a row. I loosened up quite a bit, because my goal had been to beat the house record. I knew there was something that was going to stand, so that took pressure off. I never thought I’d shoot another 300.”
“I was in an attitude of acceptance. As soon as I got that pressure out of my head, it was just like, ‘Now I can just go ahead and bowl,’” he said. “It was one of those nights when I could see everything and could see how the lane was changing, and I could make my adjustments.”
Unbelievable. If I ever were fortunate enough to catch fire on the lanes like Gollick did, I would instantly hang up my bowling shoes and call it quits. Or at the very least, I would head over to the nearest In-And-Out joint for a celebratory burger.
A Swatara Township bowler sets a national record with 47 consecutive strikes [The Patriot-News]
Wow. Leave it to a Canadian newspaper to break down their national sport so succinctly. Until now, I had no chance in understanding the complexities of how a winner is determined in an NHL playoff series. Apparently, if a team loses four games in a best-of-seven series, their season is in fact over.
Crazy stuff. The next thing you know the Toronto Sun will have a headline informing us that the “Flyers need to score more goals in Game 6 if they want to win the game.”
Flyers can’t afford another loss [Toronto Sun]
Not only did Yuri Foreman have to unfortunately surrender his WBA super welterweight title to Miguel Cotto on Saturday night at Yankee Stadium after he re-aggravated a knee injury when he slipped on a wet portion of the canvas, he now has to deal with explaining why his wife, former-boxer-turned-comely-model Leyla Leidecker, is cocking off and threatening to punch the referee who officiated the bout in the face.
Leidecker contends that the fight should have been halted immediately in the seventh round after Foreman re-injured his knee. Instead, Foreman’s trainer, Joe Grier, was forced to throw in the towel in the eighth round when the hobbled Foreman could scarcely defend himself from the onslaught of punches from Cotto any longer, but referee Arthur Mercante allowed the fight to continue. I consider myself a casual fan of boxing, but I happened to catch the fight Saturday evening and Leidecker could be seen jumping up and down and yelling after Foreman slipped. Even worse, a frustrated and angry Leidecker had this to say about Mercante in the tunnel a short time after the fight (via the New York Daily News):
“They had to stop it,” she said. “He wasn’t in any condition to continue fighting. Why put him in the situation of getting hurt more? There was no use continuing. He wasn’t going to win. There was no miracle that was going to happen. What was the point? Maybe I should just punch the referee in his face.”
Rawr. Is it just me, or does the thought of the blonde bombshell pictured above laying a beatdown on an embattled referee a major turn on? Come to think of it, the thought of her working on a crossword puzzle in a frumpy nightgown even makes me a little tingly.
In any event, she could kick the ever-living crap out of me any time she liked. I won’t even try to defend myself – or put on any pants.
Yuri Foreman’s wife Leyla Leidecker on Cotto fight: ‘Maybe I should punch the referee in his face’ [New York Daily News]
If you would like to know why the Blackhawks are only one win away from their first Stanley Cup championship in nearly 40 years, look no further than Byfuglien’s vicious hit on Chris Pronger during the second period of last night’s convincing 7-4 victory over the Flyers. Said Byfuglien (via Puck Daddy):
Q. Dustin, is there any extra satisfaction in flattening Chris Pronger(notes) the way you did?
DUSTIN BYFUGLIEN: No, he’s out there to battle. So am I. I’m going to try to get the best of him and be strong. That’s all I have to do.
Indeed. Combine that vicious check with the fact that it likely contributed to Pronger having arguably the worst playoff game of his career (minus-5) and the fact that Byfuglien had the best game of his career (2 G, 2 A, 9 hits) and it is hard to argue that the Flyers will have their hands full when the puck is dropped on Wednesday for Game 6 in Philly.
But at the same time, it would be foolish to count the Flyers out, considering their run in this year’s playoffs. My suggestion? Get Pronger’s wife to read him the riot act and compel him to play a tighter, more disciplined game. If there is one person who can get Pronger to make necessary (or unnecessary, foolish) adjustments, it is most certainly the old ball and chain.
Byfuglien on Pronger hit: ‘I’m going to try to get the best of him, be strong. That’s all I have to do’ [Puck Daddy]
What We Learned: The worst game of Chris Pronger’s career [Puck Daddy]
How the Prongers broke our hearts [Canada.com]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s George Foster Peabody Award-winning morning link dump. Send tips, links and the like to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. Thanks.
• Passers-by were afforded a rare treat of seeing transgendered men shedding their tops to show off their surgically-enhanced breasts at Rehoboth Beach in Delaware. The he-shes initially refused to put their tops back on after the request by lifeguards to do so, but covered up before police arrived. Hoo boy, that’s a whole lotta nightmare fuel right there. [azcentral]
• The minor league baseball Memphis Redbirds honored STDs. [Out of Bounds]
• The Spelling Bee had protesters. [With Leather]
• Count parrots among the animals pumped up for the World Cup. [Detroit4Lyfe]
• Charles Barkley lost to Ricardo the Busboy in “Pop-A-Shot.” [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Tony Parker might have been involved in an altercation with airport personnel. [Bob's Blitz]
• Luke McCown is well-aware of the fact that he sucks. [Second-String Fullback]
• Dustin Hoffman and Jason Bateman made out during the Lakers game. [The Slanch Report]
• What kid wouldn’t want a snowboard-shaped cribbage board? [Food Court Lunch]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: Nation’s Soccer Fan Becoming Insufferable
