Archive for May, 2010
In light of World Cup fever hitting every corner of the globe, some enterprising editor at The Oklahoman had a wonderful idea. And for that, we have to now pity poor, poor Jenni Carlson (not pictured above). As a writer for The Oklahoman, she has been given the crappy assignment of tracking down die-hard soccer fans in the state of Oklahoma, which my guess is easier than finding a needle in a haystack.
From the article, “Are you a soccer fanatic in Oklahoma?” in The Oklahoman:
The World Cup is only a couple weeks away, and the mania over the every-four-years soccer tournament will be felt from Algeria to Argentina.
But what about Oklahoma?
We are looking for soccer fanatics who are transplants to the state. If you are a native of one of the countries competing in the World Cup and you are now living in Oklahoma, we want to hear from you.
Indeed they do. And although the search may prove to be fruitless, the effort is there. Crap, they’ll even take Oklahomans who have simply heard of soccer. Anybody? Hello? Is there one friggin’ soccer fan living within Oklahoma’s state borders? They need to know! Come on! Throw Jenni a friggin’ bone here. Her job could very well be on the line.
Are you a soccer fanatic in Oklahoma? [The Oklahoman]
The first question I had after watching this Fox Chicago story regarding die-hard Blackhawks fan John Tolley and how he painted his 1991 Dodge Spirit in honor of the Blackhawks magical run in the postseason is this: “Why did he do this to a perfectly running Dodge Spirit?”
And then it came to me as I slapped myself on the forehead and about the face repeatedly: “Duh! His 1996 Dodge Neon was probably in the shop! And who would want to deface a sweet ride like that anyway?”
All that aside, this shouldn’t be about me and my nonsensical ramblings, this should be about John Tolley and his undying love for the Blackhawks. From Fox Chicago (via Mouthpiece Blog):
John and Christine Tolley really know how to wear their Blackhawks colors. Their commitment to the Indian goes well beyond the hats and shirts and jerseys. Their loyalty is as deep as the road to the Stanley Cup is long.
Their 1991 Dodge Spirit is painted with Blackhawks players.
He started with Patrick Sharp using what else? A sharpie and some touch car paint.
As the Hawks advanced in the playoffs he kept painting and added some all time greats alongside the current stars.
An amusing little story, to be sure, but I think the essence of it lies within this next passage from the report. It’s amazing how changing one word could have made this a tragic tale instead of a lighthearted anecdote:
When we caught up with him outside his home in Morgan Park he was working on Anti Niemi on the trunk.
Imagine if instead that would have read, “When authorities caught up with him outside his home in Morgan Park, he was working over Anti Niemi in the trunk.”
Chilling. Then it would have been a Forensic Files or 48 Hours Mystery kind of story then.
Fan Uses Sharpie, Paint to Make Blackhawks Mobile [Fox Chicago]
To The Blackhawks Mobile!!!! [Mouthpiece Blog]
Rent-A-Center really pulls out the big guns for their ads, huh? Big guns as in “24-inch pythons” to be exact.
So, there you have it. I have nothing to add. Brother.
[H/T NESW Sports]
In light of the story regarding the toughness displayed by Chicago Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith after having seven teeth knocked out when he took a puck to the face and how he miraculously returned to the game after missing only a short period of time of Chicago’s clinching victory over the San Jose Sharks in the Western Conference Finals, I would like to pass along a little story I came across about Blackhawks legend Stan Mikita.
Mikita, who played his entire 22-year, Hall of Fame career with the Blackhawks and was a member of the Chicago squad that hoisted the Cup in 1961, recounted some old war stories on Monday, including one about how he lost a chunk of his friggin’ earlobe during a game against the Penguins and how he played the next night (via Chicago Breaking Sports):
“I got one (puck) glance off my eyeball and my nose that nailed me pretty good. I couldn’t see good for two or three days,” the former Blackhawks center (1958-80) recalled Monday. “I got hit three or four times with the puck. If you’re skating across the line of fire and you don’t know if the guy is going to hoist it or whatever….yeah, I have been there.
“But the strangest one was in Pittsburgh when we were on a power play and Doug Mohns shot the puck from the blue line. One of the Pittsburgh players put his stick down so that the blade was aimed right at me. It hit the blade, bounced straight up in the air and it cut my ear off…my ear lobe. There was blood everywhere and our trainer came out. He said: ‘Come out, you’ve got a pretty bad one.’ As we were skating, the towel covering where my ear was looked like a red sweater, full of blood. So then they are sewing my ear back on. My wife was watching the game on TV and she thought it was my eye again. So I called her and said: ‘It’s my ear, and they are sewing it back on; I’ll be home at 2:30.’
“The next day, our assistant trainer grabbed one of the plastic protective cups we used to wear. He said: ‘You know, if you turn this thing upside down and tape it to your ear, you could probably play tonight.’ It hurt a little bit, but they had to freeze my ear to sew it back on.”
Sweet Fancy Moses, that is some gnarly stuff right there.
So, here’s to you, Duncan Keith and Stan Mikita: two players from two different eras who have shown that from way back when until the current day that hockey players are the baddest-ass athletes out there.
Tooth and nailed: Hawks’ Mikita lost an ear lobe [Chicago Breaking Sports]
Stanley Cup Finals’ absent stars: Duncan Keith’s teeth [Puck Daddy]
In celebration of the 25th anniversary of the song’s release, rock legend John Fogerty will perform his ode to baseball, the ’80s classic “Centerfield”, at the Baseball Hall of Fame’s induction ceremony on July 25th. The song has been played at every induction ceremony for the past 10 years, but this will be the first time Fogerty will perform it live.
From the New York Daily News:
“I’m overwhelmed and truly humbled,” Fogerty said on Monday. “I had no idea the song would ever be adopted by baseball.
“As a young boy who loved baseball, I grew up thinking baseball players were very special people, not like the rest of us,” he said. “I never thought I’d be connected to them in any way except maybe getting an autograph.”
That is awesome. Fogerty is a class act and a living legend and I am proud to say I have been a fan of Creedence Clearwater Revival ever since I was a wee lad (I’ll argue that “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?” may be one of the finest songs ever written), so this news makes me very happy for Mr. Fogerty and the way in which he takes it as such a wonderful compliment only makes it that much more admirable.
Only one question remains: since the Baseball Hall of Fame has adopted “Centerfield” as its unofficial theme song, when will “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits ever get the recognition it properly deserves from the pro leagues? I mean, look at the video for the song, for crying out loud. It’s a no-brainer.
John Fogerty to perform ‘Centerfield’ live at Baseball Hall of Fame induction ceremony in July [New York Daily News]
Whichever producer it was working for CSN who thought it would be a grand idea to interview enraptured Flyers fans immediately after their squad qualified for their first Stanley Cup Finals in 13 years last night probably should not wear Bad Idea Jeans as a component of his or her work attire. Instead, they should try putting on a pair of Think A Second Before Making A Completely Boneheaded Decision Slacks. Sure, the name of the brand is rather long-winded, but they keep you employed.
As a means of illustrating the above point, last night, during an interview with one overjoyed Flyers fan in the AT&T Pavilion at the Wahcovia Center, the reporter filling the role of the Man On The Street inquired as to what she thought of the win, and she invariably busted out with the retort that it was “fu**ing amazing.”
/sound of a train running off the tracks
Brilliant. At the same time, how could those in charge at CSN not have seen this coming?
Flyers Fan Drops EPIC F-Bomb on CSN’s Post Game Live [Crossing Broad]
Flyers advance to Stanley Cup finals [Yahoo!/AP]
Wake N” Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. It won’t fight for your right to party – you gotta do that. Also, you should be sending me tips, links and submissions at weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• The home in Amityville, New York originally made famous by the DeFeo murders and subsequently made infamous by the Lutz family after they claimed a bunch of crazy shit occurred while they lived there, can be had for $1.15 million. Crap, if I wanted to spend an assload of money on a residence where a bunch of spooky stuff went down, I’d buy Neverland Ranch. [Yahoo!/AP]
• Chris Berman’s daughter is somewhat attractive? Unpossible! [Out of Bounds]
• The Texas Rangers have filed for bankruptcy. [Walkoff Walk]
• Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin indicated that Tiger’s spot on the U.S. squad is not assured. [Waggle Room]
• Sadly, the run of the Montreal Canadiens is now over, thanks to the brilliant play of the Flyers’ Mike Richards (sorry Four Habs Fans). [Puck Daddy]
• Former cheerleader for the Toronto Argonauts was doing soft-core porn at the same time. [Busted Coverage]
• Just in case you were starting to lose faith in the fact that Steve Phillips is an absolute moron. [TAUNTR]
• Today in 1984, the Boston Red Sox acquired Bill Buckner and things would never be the same. [Joe Sports Fan]
• Who else is up for a Wes Welker Dance Party? [Outside the Boxscore]
• Bill Belichick is rich, bitch! [Second-String Fullback]
• The Top 10 reasons Phil Jackson might end up as coach of the Bulls next season. [Five Tool Tool]
• Butter Chicken gives you something to ponder regarding personal hygiene. [Food Court Lunch]
• What if teams seasons ended like TV show seasons? [Sports Pickle]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: [video] Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
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• Tim Tebow has his own dedicated page on ESPN.com. The end is nigh. [With Leather]
• The Montreal Canadiens are denying that they attempted to sabotage the skates of the Philadelphia Flyers with sand. [Puck Daddy]
• And by old buddies at MYFO weigh in on Sandgate as well. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Three guys were arrested outside of Heinz Field while trying to break in so they could look for a wallet. Right. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Rest in peace, Jose Lima. [Walkoff Walk]
• Marko Jaric was in Spanish Vogue? Yeah, it had probably something to do with his wife, Adriana Lima. Probably. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Ernie Els has taken too kindly with the harsh criticism regarding his course redesign. [Devil Ball Golf]
• NO! Peter King lost his Blackberry! Oh the humanity! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Roger Goodell wants to protect the brains of little kids. [Shutdown Corner]
• Ozzie Guillen is starting trouble again. God bless that goofy bastard. [Big League Stew]
• The New York Post tried to link A-Rod’s on-field to success to his off-field success of scoring chicks. [The Sporting Blog]
• The Onion Headline of the Day, Part II: Blackhawks Attempt To Find Out Why Shark On San Jose Logo Is Eating Hockey Stick
Apologies for the lackluster and sporadic posting today. We’ll be back running at full operating capacity tomorrow. In the meantime, send tips, links, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. Thanks.
Things have not been going very well for Danica Patrick lately. First, she was lustily booed by fans at Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Sunday when Patrick blamed her crew for her poor performance during qualifying for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. And then earlier today she had to suffer the ultimate indignity of ESPN security personnel not allowing her onto the idyllic campus in Bristol, Connecticut after futilely attempting to utilize the “Don’t you know who I am?” line to no success.
Patrick was in Bristol today after getting invited to ESPN HQ – along with the other 32 racers who qualified for the Indianapolis 500 – by the network to take part in promoting the race. After being taken out to the “Satellite Farm” for a group photo, Patrick and fellow racer Will Power stayed behind to meet with media members, missing the bus back to the main part of the campus.
Once Patrick and Power were shuttled back, they met with heavy resistance from ESPN security, even after singing some of that annoying Go Daddy song (via The Backstretch):
A security guard at the gate stopped the van and asked the driver where he was going. The IndyCar Series official driving the van explained he had IndyCar Series drivers in the van going back to a function. The security guard shook his head.
It was then that Patrick, wearing her bright green “Go Daddy” firesuit, took over, leaning up into the front of the van and telling the security guard, “We’re IndyCar drivers,” Patrick said, “The Indianapolis 500?”
“We’re doing things here” she pressed as she pointed to her driver’s suit.
No dice.
Then she leaned a little further toward the security and offered up a rendition of the familiar tune from the provocative “Go Daddy” commercials she stars in.
“Go Daddy . . .” Patrick sang.
“That work?” she asked.
Nope.
Ultimately, Patrick was allowed to enter but not before she was soundly shot down and possibly embarrassed that perhaps her star power might not shine as bright as in once did.
She should have ripped off her top like the gals do in those Go Daddy commercials. I bet That would have gotten this bozo security guard’s attention. Unless he was a fancy boy or something.
Danica Who?: Nobody Roams The ESPN Campus Unfettered, Not Even Danica Patrick [The Backstretch]
Danica hears boos after poor qualifying at Indy [AP]
After over 3,000 submitted entries of suggestions for new catchphrases average folks wanted included in the updated version of NBA Jam, the powers-that-be have whittled them down that sizable list to the best 64 which will now be pitted against each other in a tourney bracket.
The four “regions” in the NBA Jam catchphrase bracket pay tribute to some classic lines from previous versions of the game: “Kaboom!”, “He’s On Fire!”, “Monster Jam” and “Slam-a-Jamma!” Voting begins tomorrow with the “Kaboom!” region and voting in the other three regions will occur on the following three days.
You can hear each entry enthusiastically read by the one and only Tim Kitzrow - the original voice of NBA Jam – through a link on the game’s Facebook page. Below are my five favorites from each region:
Kaboom! Region:
- “Stuffed Tighter Than A Turkey”
- “Droppin’ a Deuce!”
- “That Man Has Some Dunk In His Trunk!”
- “He Took The Candy, Pacifier And Stroller From That Baby!”
- “Diagnosis: You Suck!”
- “No Shoot For You!”
- “The Third Little Piggy Could Have Used That Brick!”
- “Where’s The Gravy After That Stuffing?”
- “Spread That On Your Sandwich!”
- “Call Him Airplane Food Because He’s Nasty In The Air!”
Monster Jam! Region:
- “Shake That Bodonkadonk!”
- “Stimulus Package!”
- “I Got The Pancakes, You Bring The Aunt Jam-Mama!”
- “Take That, Global Warming!”
- “He Cleaned Him Out With That Stolen-oscopy!”
Slam-A-Jamma! Region:
- “He Could Knit A Sock With That Cotton!”
- “The Dutch Called, They Want Their Windmills Back!”
- “Dunkadelic!”
- “Bow To Your Sensei!”
- “Tang Tang, Boomerang!”
Wow, some of those are just phenomenal. And some of them are completely bizarre. But they are all certainly creative.
Why, Venus Williams? Why?
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For the love of God. What in the name of all that is holy was Venus Williams wearing during her match at the French Open. I’m not kidding, I have never had a case of the douche chills worse than the ones I am experiencing right now.
[H/T Bob's Blitz]
On Friday, we had a wonderful little video of White Sox fans coming to blows at U.S. Cellular Field and today, courtesy of Busted Coverage, we have a couple of goofballs going toe-to-toe in the seats at Yankee Stadium during Wednesday night’s Rays-Yankees game.
Fat Guy lands a nice series of combinations on his opponent before security steps in, but I think my favorite part is when the guy recording the video goes “Oh shit! Dis is goin’ on YOO-TOOOB” in his New York accent.
[H/T Busted Coverage]
(previously at the Sportress: Hey, At Least They Weren’t Screwing: White Sox Fans Brawl In Right Field Stands)
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Cable Ace Award-winning morning link dump. Send tips, links, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• When authorities towed and subsequently crushed Shawn Leslie’s 1995 Mercury Cougar, they also inadvertently disposed of the Wisconsin man’s father’s and grandfather’s ashes, which were being stored in the car. Who stores the remains of family members in their car? [Yahoo!/AP]
• Jose Lima dead from a heart attack at the age of 37. [The Sporting Blog]
• Just in case you forgot, ESPN is owned by ABC. [Deuce of Davenport]
• Ken Mink, a 75-year-old college student, still trying to play college basketball. [The Dagger]
• Duncan Keith probably doesn’t mind that he had a bunch of teeth knocked out since the Blackhawks are now in the Stanley Cup Finals. [Mouthpiece Blog]
• The top 11 tiresome NBA playoff memes. [Five Tool Tool]
• Why the NHL needs it own World Championships. [Puck Daddy]
• Nice Oriolionals jersey. [Mr. Irrelevant]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute?
Posted by:• How much do you think ESPN had to fork over to get Chris Berman that star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? It had to be a lot, right? [Out of Bounds]
• Top 10 sports figures who deserve a star on the Walk of Fame. [Guyism]
• It’s all over, folks: Lasordapalooza is rumored to be the Seventh Seal. [Walkoff Walk]
• A minor League baseball team held a “Dress Like Craig Sager Day.” [That NBA Lottery Pick]
• Could LeBron’s mom really have done it? Seriously? [With Leather]
• An SOB favorite, beautiful golfer Beatriz Recari, has a stalker fan. It’s not me. [Wei Under Par]
• Gus Johnson has been officially named the voice of Madden 11. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Barry Zito and a Who for Whoville took in a Giants game together. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Don’t plan on taking your iPad along if you intend to go to Yankees Stadium. [The Sporting Blog]
• Dear Lord: video of the 1976 White Sox playing a game in shorts. [Big League Stew]
• Wife of Rory Sabatini busted out the sexual innuendo in an awesome retort to some jackass on Facebook. [Devil Ball Golf]
• The top 7 overplayed commercials during Major League Baseball telecasts. [Joe Sports Fan]
• African Amputee Soccer? [Bob's Blitz]
• The Onion Headline of the Day: LeBron James Photoshopped Into Cavaliers Jersey For Some Reason
The precocious little guy you see pictured above in his father’s Flyers jersey is three-year-old Christopher Whalen of Hamilton, New Jersey, who happens to be a huge fan of the Philadelphia Flyers in his own right.
“On a trip to the zoo last week,” Whalen said, “Christopher saw a Flyers billboard and started singing, ‘Fly, Flyers, Fly! On the Road to Victory!’
“Hey, what do you want?” Whalen asked. “He’s only 3!”
Indeed, Papa Whalen. Indeed. Let’s hope that Christopher’s parents are reasonable, intelligent and thoughtful parents and that Christopher is raised well enough that he isn’t one of those bad seeds who ends up assaulting Canadian cameramen or vandalizing cars with Canadian license plates on them, among other things. Personally, I think this kid has a chance. He looks like a great kid.
Broad Street Bully: It’s a Flyerstorm of tales from Philly fans [Philly.com]
(previously at the Sportress: Flyers Fans Up The D-Bag Ante, Attack TV Cameraman, Toss Beer On Satellite Truck)
