Dear God: London Olympics Mascots Will Haunt Your Dreams, Eat Your SoulBy
Allow me to be the first to introduce you to Wenlock and Mandeville, the official mascots of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Horrifying. Truly horrifying.
But what in the hell are they?
Via The Guardian:
With a metallic finish, a single large eye made out of a camera lens, a London taxi light on their heads and the Olympic rings represented as friendship bracelets on their wrists, they resemble characters dreamed up for a Pixar animation.
The pair are based on a short story by children’s author Michael Morpurgo that tells how they were fashioned from droplets of the steel used to build the Olympic stadium. They will be crucial in raising funds and spreading messages about the games.
Well, that certainly clears it up. Further, according to The Telegraph, Wenlock and Mandeville are “[t]wo parts-Pokemon to one-part lava lamp, the distinctive figures are the product of a rigorous design process intended to capture the imagination of children, and work as well in the digital world as they will in costume form at trackside in 2012.”
Of course they are. But why do they have to be so bizarrely petrifying? Forget that, kids love them!
“They remind you of aliens, which is really weird and cool,” said 10-year-old Ali. “It reminds you of the Olympics, which is worldwide so it’s something you’ll want to remember forever,” added 11-year-old Zanyab as they cavorted with life-size mascots for the cameras.
I would advise the parents of Ali and Zanyab to keep a very close eye on their boys in the coming days. It is certainly within reason to suspect that when no one was watching, Wenlock and Mandeville secretly implanted eggs inside the two and are using them as hosts for incubation. The next thing you know, you got several hundred miniature versions of these freaks terrorizing the streets of London.
That wouldn’t be good.