Dear God: London Olympics Mascots Will Haunt Your Dreams, Eat Your Soul

Allow me to be the first to introduce you to Wenlock and Mandeville, the official mascots of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Horrifying. Truly horrifying.

But what in the hell are they?

Via The Guardian:

With a metallic finish, a single large eye made out of a camera lens, a London taxi light on their heads and the Olympic rings represented as friendship bracelets on their wrists, they resemble characters dreamed up for a Pixar animation.

The pair are based on a short story by children’s author Michael Morpurgo that tells how they were fashioned from droplets of the steel used to build the Olympic stadium. They will be crucial in raising funds and spreading messages about the games.

Well, that certainly clears it up. Further, according to The Telegraph, Wenlock and Mandeville are “[t]wo parts-Pokemon to one-part lava lamp, the distinctive figures are the product of a rigorous design process intended to capture the imagination of children, and work as well in the digital world as they will in costume form at trackside in 2012.”

Of course they are. But why do they have to be so bizarrely petrifying? Forget that, kids love them!

“They remind you of aliens, which is really weird and cool,” said 10-year-old Ali. “It reminds you of the Olympics, which is worldwide so it’s something you’ll want to remember forever,” added 11-year-old Zanyab as they cavorted with life-size mascots for the cameras.

I would advise the parents of Ali and Zanyab to keep a very close eye on their boys in the coming days. It is certainly within reason to suspect that when no one was watching, Wenlock and Mandeville secretly implanted eggs inside the two and are using them as hosts for incubation. The next thing you know, you got several hundred miniature versions of these freaks terrorizing the streets of London.

That wouldn’t be good.

London Olympics 2012: Meet Wenlock and Mandeville, drips off the old block [The Guardian]
London 2012: Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville unveiled [The Telegraph]

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  1. Upstate Underdog

    May 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    Which one of them were in that Kia commercial from the Super Bowl?

  2. S P Dudley

    May 21, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    Do these alien mascots mean that the next olympics will have interplanetary teams as well?

  3. ZebraBob

    May 21, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Gee Weed, Paranoid much? Surprised you didn’t wonder if they were part of the ‘homosexual agenda’ what with the rainbow on the wall behind them.
    I find them to be rather cool looking…unlike the 2012 Olympic logo that was chosen. (altho’ it does seem to work on Wenlock’s chest)

  4. azgingerlee

    May 21, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    I’d rather see Wallace & Gromit dressed in olympic outfits. The Olympics are not for pre-schoolers. Thumbs down on this one.

  5. Old Cajun

    May 21, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Strange indeed. Down here in the bayous we have a state mental institution: “Louisiana State Hospital in MANDEVILLE”. Anyone who wigged out would be sent to “Mandeville”, so that is an appropriate name for one of those two mascots. The State of Louisiana should get part of the revenue generated by the mascots to help this poor state care for the mentally ill.

  6. Michell Inverso

    June 7, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    Howdy! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thank you

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