Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Grammy Award-winning morning link dump. It’s still angling for that Tony Award but that just might not be in the cards. Send tips, links, etc. to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• New Zealand Prime Minister John Key made a culinary faux pas Thursday and the press are eating him alive over it. Speaking at a tourism conference, Key made a crack about the Tuhoe tribe, who were known at one time as cannibals: “The good news is that I was having dinner with Ngati Porou as opposed to their neighbouring iwi which is Tuhoe, in which case I would have been dinner, which wouldn’t have been quite so attractive.” Zing. Seriously, aren’t people being a little bit oversensitive here? What topics are safe to joke about at this point? I’m pretty sure midgets are the only thing left. They’re funny. [Yahoo!/AFP]

• How about them Montreal Canadiens??? Bye bye Sidney Crosby, ya jerk. [Puck Daddy]

• I can assure you these guys are thrilled. [Four Habs Fans]

• The Seattle Mariners are blackballing the reporter who wrote the story about Ken Griffey, Jr. sleeping in the clubhouse. [Babes Love Baseball]

• Reports indicate that Hank Haney quit as Tiger’s coach because he has “no regard for a person like that.” [Out of Bounds]

• Be prepared to pay more if you intend to take in an NFL football game this season. [Shutdown Corner]

• Lenny Dykstra: still broke. [Walkoff Walk]

• Charles Barkley: loves him some tasty chicken feet. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• Compelling reasons to hate the Astros. [7th Inning Stache]

• When an urban legend can break your heart. [Food Court Lunch]

• Brooklyn Decker doing cartwheels. Brooklyn Decker doing cartwheels. [Busted Coverage]

• The top 10 reasons the NBA insists on these long breaks smack dab in the middle of the playoffs. [Five Tool Tool]

• Five additional excuses Lawrence Taylor may use at trial. [Guyism]

• Vin Scully was a grouchy old coot in the booth last night. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Tiger Woods has an inflamed facet joint. What in the hell is that? [Trailing Tiger]

• The Onion Headline of the Day: I’m In Alien Ant Farm For The Long Haul By Mike Cosgrove, Drummer