Archive for February, 2010
Meet The Winter Olympics Odd Couple!
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One’s a glamorous girl, one is a glamorous, possibly maybe could be probably gay (or fancy?) boy, and when these two divas get together, madcap hilarity is sure to ensue! Talk about a quintessential odd couple, amirite? Jack Klugman and Tony Randall got nothing on this wacky pair.
That’s right, Tanith Belbin and Johnny Weir will be shacking up together as roommates during the Vancouver games and one can only imagine the trouble these two are going to get into.
Hijinks aside, Weir, to his credit, wants to ensure Belbin feels comfortable sharing their two bedroom apartment in Olympic Village.
“I have candles lit all the time,” Weir said after his first practice Thursday. “I’m just going to make sure everything smells nice. … I’m going to buy pink bath mats for the room for us.”
Ah yes, pink. The color of coziness. You know, on second thought, these two aren’t such an odd couple after all. Maybe, in keeping with the situation comedy theme, the duo are more like Joey and Chandler. Wait. Monica and Rachel might be a better comparison.
Weir is very happy to be rooming with a person who shares his sensibilities for style and comfort.
“If you didn’t know, I’m a bit of a diva when it comes to my living situation. I think she’s the best roommate I could ask for. It’s going to be easy. I definitely couldn’t room with one of the boys,” he said with a laugh.
Sure you couldn’t, Johnny. Stupid, smelly boys. My only concern: is Tanith a huge Lady Gaga fan? She better be.
Pink bath mats, candles: Weir prepares for roommate Belbin [Game On!]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips and whatnot to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. Thankee.
• An 18-year-old California man was arrested on Monday after surveillance video caught him sneaking into the boys restroom at Pacific Elementary School and offered two students cash for them to pee in a cup. Authorities suspect the man was trying to secure clean urine for piss test. I suppose this story could have been worse, but still, that ain’t right. [MSNBC/AP]
• The National Enquirer is reporting that Tiger Woods thought sex rehab was “a joke.” Do you know what isn’t funny? Blue balls. [Out of Bounds]
• It’s never a good Super Bowl party when one guest leaves with punctured testicles. Hoo boy. [Shutdown Corner]
• The Los Angeles Temptation won the Lingerie Football League last Sunday. Do you know what else they won? Our hearts. Okay, our genitals. But they don’t get to keep them, of course. [With Leather]
• The Peacock doesn’t care about hockey players. NBC is airing ice dancing instead of the USA/Canada hockey game on February 21st. The hockey game will be broadcast on MSNBC. Why NBC? Why do you gotta play us like that? [Puck Daddy]
After the jump, a sublime headline from the folks at The Onion, nobody is going to PGA Tour events, annoying Saints fans and a little kid nearly getting maimed at a hockey game. Woo!
Don’t you just want to pinch those cheeks? No, not those. Okay, those, too.
She is Amy Alexander. She is a senior at the University of Texas majoring nutrition and pre-med – wait – pre-med? Brains and beauty! Intimidating! As mentioned, Amy is just about the cutest little thing under the sun. You can see the lovely Amy’s entire photo gallery here, but after the jump, let’s take a look inside that big brain of hers and highlight some of her responses to the tried and true 20 Questions:
Come on – clicking “Read More” is not really that much work, folks.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (February 11th)
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• The new Tiger Woods video game looks pretty bad-ass, but it has an unfortunate catch phrase. [Out of Bounds]
• I cannot believe I missed this yesterday, but LeNoceur sneaked in a NSFWednesday post. Wily fella. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Awesome video of a shirtless drunk guy getting arrested at the Super Bowl. The lack of a shirt just adds to its brilliance. [Busted Coverage]
• LOLNFL: Super Bowl edition. I believe that’s all that needs to be said, now go enjoy the hilarity. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Holy crap! It was 20 years ago today when Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson. Where have all the years gone? Answer me, bottle of vodka! [Joe Sports Fan]
• Show me one Chicago Blackhawks fan who wouldn’t love owning this customized Camaro and I will show you a person with great taste in cars. Camaro? [Puck Daddy]
After the jump, Saints fans destroying televisions…
I know there has been a lot of discussion lately regarding U.S. figure skater Johnny Weir’s sexual orientation (I refer you to Deadspin’s feature, “Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir’s Gayness”), but let me be the first to break it to you that no, Johnny Weir is not in fact a homosexual man (not that there’s anything wrong with it).
He can’t be, not after you read about how he intends to decorate his room in Olympic Village:
Weir plans to hang a big picture in his room of Lady Gaga, who he says will be “watching over us, protecting us.”
So, there you have it. That’s about as straight as you can get. What gay man would adorn his walls with the sexy, titillating image of Lady Gaga in poster form? Don’t believe me? Submitted for your approval:
GAH! Run for your lives! It’s a lynx! Or a bobcat, depending on which story you read about its appearance at Whistler Creek during training for the men’s downhill. And if you can refer to the animal as both, how about we stick with lynx? Bobcat brings up uncomfortable images of loudmouthed, squealing comedians who may or may not be dead. Really, is that guy still alive even?
The animal was previously sighted over by the Whistler Sliding Centre and are quite common in the Whistler area.
“That was all planned. It’s to show people Canadian nature,” said Mike Kertesz, the International Ski Federation official in charge of the finish area.
Ha ha, real funny. Experts say the bigger risk would likely be a skier colliding with the wild cat as opposed to the beast becoming aggressive and attacking a competitor or a fan, but that’s easy for them to say from their Ivory Towers of Academia, protected from the deadly claws and razor-sharp fangs of the manhunter.
Well, whatever. I’m sure things will work out just fine. The Canadians are a hearty people and will not allow a ferocious beast interfere with the Olympic Games. Although I am wondering what is bringing out the notoriously shy animal from its hiding spot. Maybe it is the pungent aroma of the stinky cheese Lindsey Vonn is using to treat her injured shin.
Hey, it could happen.
Lynx course? Wild cat makes appearance at downhill site [Sporting News]
Whistler Olympic bobcat puts on a public show [Vancouver Sun]
Mark Cuban Is Back On The Crazy Pills
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In a recent interview with CBS Sports columnist Mike Freeman, Mark Cuban was his usual self, as in being provocative and insightful one moment and self-serving and batshit crazy the next. One answer Cuban gave certainly fell into the latter category:
Freeman: Can the NBA ever be as popular as the NFL?
Cuban: Absolutely. Sports go in cycles.
And…
Freeman: Lastly, are you happy?
Cuban: Every day. When I die, I want to come back as me.
Alright then. On the first one, I understand that Mark Cuban often times enjoys the sound of his own voice and will simply say shit just to be controversial and to get attention, but really? The NBA can be as popular as the NFL? First of all, ain’t never going to happen. Secondly, ain’t ever going to happen. Nice try, Mark Cuban.
And on the last answer, come on, Cuban! The belief in the transmigration of the spirit where the soul moves from body to body in an eternal birth-death-birth cycle is an absurd concept at best made even more ridiculous by Cuban’s notion that he could actually come back as himself. And further, we all know that if reincarnation were in fact a legitimate theological construct, Mark Cuban would most likely come back as a moderately successful Dairy Queen franchisee.
Catching up with Cuban: Mavs owner talks labor issues — but not NBA’s [CBS Sports]
“Stay goofy, my friends.”
Big ups to the gang over at BDL for discovering this wonderful little parody by vitaminwater of those “Most Interesting Man In The World” Dos Equis ads, starring the funniest man in the NBA (and maybe, the world?), Steve Nash, in “The Most Ridiculous Man In The World.”
This isn’t the first time vitaminwater has had their “unique-looking” spokesperson act silly for an ad.
Yamma-hamma.
The gossips have the rumor mill running at full tilt after news surfaced indicating that Bar Refaeli is insanely envious of Brooklyn Decker and looked “miserable” at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue party Tuesday night at the Gansevoort Hotel’s club Provocateur in NewYork City.
“She had a scowl on her face and wouldn’t even look up for photographers who had been waiting for hours in the freezing cold outside,” our spy says.
“She even walked right by fans who were pleading for her to sign her past issues of Sports Illustrated.
Mee-oww.
More dish from the Daily News’ gossip column Gatecrasher’s “spy” (ooh! I feel just like a gossip columnist, without all the self-loathing), who reported that Bar only agreed to sign autographs after she heard that Brooklyn was happily signing some:
“Bar then turned around, begrudgingly retraced her steps and agreed to do the same. But she still looked pretty miserable throughout the night.”
“After pictures of Bar’s shoot were leaked on the Internet, a lot of people thought it would be her,” an insider dished of the stunner, who made her SI debut in 2007 and covered the mag in 2009. “Two years in a row would have been a huge accomplishment for her. It makes sense that she would be disappointed.”
Yes, it certainly is a hard knock life for Miss Refaeli. Fame, fortune, the works – but not the cover! Damn, damn, damn! Oh well, sometimes life just isn’t fair. But the level of disappointment Refaeli is feeling right now does not hold a candle to the sense of dread I am currently experiencing worrying that these two beauties won’t agree to settle their sexy differences with a heavily-baby-oiled, pay-per-view, down-and-dirty gropefest. Tastefully done, of course- just like the Swimsuit Issue. Crap, I’d skip my mortgage payment to order up that erotic spectacle. And hey, my guess is veteran boxing announcer Jim Lampley would jump at the opportunity to call all the oily action. Literally jump at it – that restraining-order-violating horndogger would likely jump right into the middle of it. But at the same time, I guess we could hardly blame him.
Better yet, we could have a Battle To The Death Cage Match (with medieval weapons, of course) between Leonardo DiCaprio and Andy Roddick, the sultry swimsuit models’ beaus, as the undercard to what I have dubbed the “Sexy Toil in the Baby Oil.” Only in America!
Bar Refaeli gets catty, ignores fans at Sports Illustrated party after cover snub: source [Gatecrasher]
I cannot say for certain, but methinks those folks overseeing the calendar over at NHL.com aren’t keeping up on what’s going on in their league, unless I am the only one who missed the memo which indicated that the entire month of March has been removed from the Julian calendar.
I understand that the entire NHL has come down with Olympic Fever, but there seems to be some stuff missing there.
In any event, thanks for keeping us apprised on all the excitement that will be going on in the NHL in the coming months, NHL.com.
I suppose you don’t need me to tell you to not even bother reading Jay Mariotti’s recent piss-poor column where he laments the potential loss of Lindsey Vonn from the Winter Olympics. It is a typical column with the usual Mariotti-esque insights – here’s an example: a Vonn-less Olympics would be like a “the Super Bowl without Drew Brees and the World Series without Derek Jeter.” Really? I can confidently state that there are millions of baseball fans who would prefer watching a World Series without Derek Jeter’s stately presence, not to mention five fanbases from NFC playoff teams who would have gladly watched their team in the Super Bowl instead of Drew Brees, despite the great story surrounding the Saints.
But I digress. It is a colossal waste of time to quibble any further over such trivial matters as the one above. I simply wish to highlight this one passage from his column on Vonn that once again exposes him as the dishonest, misrepresenting, sanctimonious phony that he is:
She is on too many magazine covers to count, including an SI photo that drew criticism because of its sexually provocative nature. Personally, I don’t want to look at her pictures. I want to watch her ski. And, sadly, it might not happen.
Yeah, whatever. How high-minded of him. Mariotti, as we all know, would never defile his pristine ethics and journalistic integrity by gawking at Lindsey Vonn’s Swimsuit Issue photos – shamefully filled with self-contempt as he lustily leers at the pictorial, his mouth agape with hand stuffed down his pants – at least in public.
But we all know the truth about Jay. My only surprise after reading this drivel was that he didn’t see fit to seize the opportunity to raise himself above the fray by taking a shot at his low-minded, ham-fisted blogger brethren. Because that’s all he is now since he apparently cannot secure employment in real journalism:
Jay Mariotti, Celebrity Blogger.
Could Be Cheesy Games if Vonn Sits Out [Fanhouse]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. It puts the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp, it puts the ram in the rama lama ding dong or some such nonsense. Send tips, fools!
• Scientists have started a project they have dubbed “Beetle Mania” that seeks to eradicate over-infestation by bark beetles in ecosystems by blasting heavy metal music, Rush Limbaugh, as well as some of the “nastiest, most offensive sounds” they could think of. The music “disrupted tunneling, mating and reproduction for the beetles, making it harder for the insects to eat through the trees.” I suppose you could say that bark beetles are like the Manuel Noriegas of the animal kingdom. [MSNBC]
• ESPN is dropping the “60″ from ESPN360. That makes us one step closer to the Ocho, folks. [The Sporting Blog]
• Video of an awesome high school soccer brawl. Oh, the humanity! [Out of Bounds]
• Calm down folks, Chris Berman ain’t going anywhere. Step off the ledge. [With Leather]
After the jump, a “Nets coach for the day” contest, animated dinosaur sex and Drew Brees wearing Pampers? Huh? That can’t be right.
Don’t hate me because I am a total lazy-ass.
Here’s a link to the lovely Miss Ivanovic’s Swimsuit Issue page, where you can find many more photos as well as a video. See, I did something there, so I’m not a total lazy-ass, just a partial one.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (February 10th)
Posted by:• Introducing Poland’s newest awkward cartoon character, Pedobear! [With Leather]
• Blogger reports on his experience at Denny’s and his free Grand Slam breakfast. [Bugs & Cranks]
• Once again, FCL finishes the headline. [Food Court Lunch]
• Do not fret, KSK has plenty of debauchery planned for the NFL offseason. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Happy birthday, Lenny Dykstra! [Joe Sports Fan]
• I have to agree, this is the cutest photo from the Super Bowl. [Uncoached]
Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? With all the footage available to the NFL Network, their decision sign a one-year agreement to broadcast games from AF1, the new arena football league, is a curious one at best.
The NFL Network will provide the on-air talent. The league’s games will be aired live on Friday nights from 8 to 11 p.m. ET beginning April 2 through the league’s championship game in late August. The AF1 game on April 23 will be pre-empted by the network’s draft coverage.
Charles Coplin, vice president of programming for the NFL, said the deal made sense for the NFL Network, which has expanded beyond NFL programming by covering college football games.
“We embrace football at all levels,” Coplin said. “This spring schedule gives us a weekly live game featuring some players who may eventually play in the NFL.”
The NFL Network also cites the fact that AF1′s season is held in the spring, when there is a dearth of activity involving the NFL. Still, I would imagine that the NFL Network has access to all that awesome NFL Films footage. They can’t figure out a way to package that stuff into compelling television? If they cannot or are unwilling to, they should let me run the programming over there for a week or two and see how it works out I guarantee what I put on the air will garner better ratings than some random AF1 games are likely to get.
Crap, a two-hour documentary consisting of NFL Network analyst Brian Baldinger doing creepy shit with that deformed finger of his would probably fare better.
SBJ: NFL Network to broadcast new arena league’s games [Sporting News]
