Archive for February, 2010
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Read ‘em and weep. No, seriously, this is such a bad post it will make you cry. If you would like to see some improvement, send me tips, dammit!
• Really, there isn’t much to add to this one, except that it was in the morning and the driver was five times over the legal limit. Hey, if you’re going to do something, you might as well go all out, I guess. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
• Chris Berman is being pursued by the NFL Network. I currently do not get the NFL Network, so that sounds good to me. [The Big Lead]
• Everything Stephen A. Smith does is important! [Out of Bounds]
• Explaining how the Saints Super Bowl victory is inspiring Toronto Maple Leafs fans. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Eleven people showed up at the airport in Indianapolis to welcome back the Colts. [Last Angry Fan]
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Indubitably. Want to make my job easier? Send me some tips, then everyone wins. Except the Indianapolis Colts.
• Oh yeah, now I remember. I have never tried that because there is no way in hell it would work. A Colorado man has been accused of trying to give a cash bribe to a state worker so he could use a Whizzinator for a piss test. Yeah, it didn’t work out, but at least it brought the Whizzinator back into the limelight. That’s awesome. [MSNBC/AP]
• Spoiled sports: Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne reportedly skipped the postgame handshakes. [Pro Football Talk]
• Pete Townshend is just happy to have been part of the spectacle by playing the Super Bowl halftime show. Also, not getting charged with anything related to child pornography. [Yahoo!/AP]
• Videos of drunken fans at Sun Life Stadium are entertaining, informative. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (February 5th)
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• Anyone else interested in taking in some topless bull riding? Anyone? [Out of Bounds]
• In case you were wondering, CBS golf analyst is pulling for Peyton Manning and the Colts this weekend. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Great write-up by fellow Minnesotan and WL contributor Amber Jones lamenting life as a Vikings fan. [With Leather]
• Video of the demolition of the Meadowlands. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• Washington Capitals goalie Jose Theodore is the latest netminder to have been victimized by some crazy person with a laser pointer. [D.C. Sports Bog]
And those goddamn puppies can take a flying leap as well. You wanna know why? Because I gotta have faith. Yes, I’ve gotta have faith, a-faith a- faith, a-faith, I gotta have faith a-faith a-faith….
Bowl!
Who would want to waste time on Sunday watching the monotonous and dull pregame festivities leading up to the Super Bowl when you can spend that time instead watching former major leaguer Mike Piazza, current pro Mike Sweeney and former player Bobby Keppel as they lead a roundtable discussion about Jesus?
It’s hard to believe it has already been nearly a year since Donte Stallworth’s ill-fated, early morning joyride in Miami – the incident occurred last March 14th – but Roger Goodell stated today that Stallworth will be reinstated by the NFL some time after the Super Bowl after serving a suspension for the entire 2009 season. Stallworth was sentenced to a paltry 30 days behind bars after pleading guilty to a DUI and second degree manslaughter, only serving 24, and was later suspended by the NFL Commissioner on August 13th of last year. By all accounts , it appears Goodell will reinstate the wide receiver sooner rather than later.
Goodell said he met with Stallworth for 45 minutes to an hour before the Dolphins’ final regular-season game in Miami, where Stallworth lives. Goodell added that Stallworth seemed to be remorseful and worthy of reinstatement. Their conversation helped seal the reinstatement, Goodell said. Once Stallworth is re-instated, it will be up to the Browns and new team president Mike Holmgren as to whether the team wants to retain the receiver.
There will much hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth regarding how, it the grand scheme of things, Stallworth managed to avoid a stiffer sentence, both in the judicial system and by the NFL, but it is what it is now. Despite the fact that his conviction and terms of punishment were somewhat clouded by a secretive financial agreement with the victim’s family before a civil trial could be commenced, like it or not, Stallworth has paid his dues, as they were set out for him, and I guess he should be allowed to move on with his life. Although I do hope that his irresponsible actions on that night, while in the past now, continue to haunt him for the rest of his life.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did you need this soapbox? Sometimes I get distracted by my self-righteousness. I believe we can move on now.
Goodell: Suspended WR Stallworth will be reinstated [NFL.com]
Wing, Wing, Wingadelphia! Wing, Wing, Wingadelphia!
Being of the mind and upbringing of the humble, simple-minded folk up here in the Midwest, I have never been out east for the opportunity to experience what by all appearances seems to be the psychologically-scarring experience of attending a Wing Bowl in Philadelphia.
In its 18th year, it appears that the Wing Bowl intends to up the ante every time it comes around – becoming a more drunken, more debaucherous, more scandalous display of all that makes Philadelphia the great city it is reputed to be.
In case you are curious, Jonathan “Super” Squibb successfully defended his title earlier this morning at the Wachovia Center.
Jonathan “Super” Squibb, a skinny 24-year-old from Winslow Township, N.J., ate 238 wings in 30 minutes to set up a wing-off in next year’s event with a previous three-time champion, Joey Chestnut of San Jose, Calif., a professional eater.
Squibb finished three wings short of Chestnut’s record 241 wings in the 2008 event. Wing Bowl, closed the past two years to professional eaters, will welcome them next year, setting up the showdown.
Super Squibb, as he is known, got off to a torrid pace, eating 126 wings in the opening 14-minute round, on his way to slamming his 28 competitors, including Not Rich, Cheesecake Beefcake and Hot Pockets.
With nicknames like that, you have to assume these guys are real stand-up fellas.
Since photos will paint a better picture than any words I can come up with to illustrate what exactly transpired in Philly this morning, I have taken the liberty of preparing a photo essay by culling a few photos from the event from Philly.com. Of course, there are many, many more photos to be seen, and you can find those here and here. You can also see footage of interviews from the event, featuring porn star Mary Carey and Sex for World Series tickets hoochie-mama Susan Finkelstein here.
After the jump, what I found to be the most, um, illustrative photos from the event. Enjoy, but you’ve been warned.
And why the hell not, right? We Minnesotans have nothing else to do while we are waiting for a polar bear to fall into the trap that we crudely constructed out of Miller Lite bottles and Prince albums outside our igloos. Sadly, I suppose you should count me among the huddled, freezing masses.
So, how does (yet another) heartbreaking loss in the NFC Championship Game a couple of weeks ago unite Vikings fans into spending $650.00 to purchase a week’s worth of advertising space on a billboard in Hattiesburg, Mississippi that implores Brett Favre to return to play for the Purple next season? Of course, with all grass roots efforts these days, we can thank Facebook.
Rainn Wilson, that’s who. Preach on, Mr. Wilson. Preach on.
Being a native of Seattle, Washington, I am having trouble determining the reason behind Wilson’s anti-New Orleans stance, so I’m just going to go with his mother got mixed up in Voodoo and once tried to sell him for magic powder. But I will support Rainn Wilson’s right to his opinion. So go forth and tweet, my good man.
Also, don’t make any more crappy movies. Thanks.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. I play my music loud because you know it’s got clout to it. It’s a trip it’s got a funky beat and I can bug out to it.
• The girl is already completely devoid of talent, so she’s already halfway there, in a way. A 21-year-old Chinese woman who only gave her name as Xiaoqing is willing to go through plastic surgery to make her look more like the starlet just so she can get back her douchebag 28-year-old boyfriend, who is totally obsessed with Alba. “When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was very sad,” she told Reuters at the Shanghai Time Plastic Surgery Hospital which has agreed to help her fulfill her wish. “My friends… kept consoling me but it did not work, so they suggested I do plastic surgery to look like her (Jessica Alba).” Jeez, with friends like that, who needs radical plastic surgery?
Photo of the poor gal after the jump.
Brooklyn Decker Swimsuit Photo, That Is All
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Above, courtesy of Extra Mustard, is a sneak peek of one of the photos of Brooklyn Decker that will grace the pages of this year’s SI Swimsuit Issue.
Be sure to make appropriate arrangements and clear your calendar, because the 2010 collection launches on February 9th on SI.com.
And just so you know, I feel no need whatsoever to justify or defend my motivation for publishing this sublime photo that serves as a glorious testament to the wonder, grace and beauty that is the female form. Good day, sir.
[H/T Extra Mustard]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (February 4th)
Posted by:• Any post that has “Wendy Nix Cleavage Action” in its title gets top billing at this here blog. [Busted Coverage]
• Behold, the Kim Kardashian NASCAR auto. [Out of Bounds]
• Good stuff: it is reported here that a Washington Capitals dancer stated that her favorite book is “Facebook.” Lordy. [Mr. Irrelevant]
• Chad Ochocinco wants Tiger Woods to be a condom pitchman. [You Been Blinded]
• LOLNFL: indeed, bye weeks do suck. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Remember that nightmare fuel that was the Punxatawnee Polamalu commercial?Well, truTV has some behind-the-scenes footage that only makes it more terrifying. [P.S.A.M.P.]
There really isn’t anything I can add here. Simply enjoy the cuteness of it all. Just remember that the game – it’s not so much of a game, but still – begins at 3:00 p.m. Eastern on Sunday.
Of course, as you can see by the above screencap, you can go to the website for lots of Puppy Bowl-related goodness, if your heart doesn’t completely melt in the process.
After the jump is a gallery of the starting lineups, but if you would like to know more information about each particular puppy, including breed and age, you can find that information here.
So says Dallas Cowboys offensive lineman Leonard Davis, a devout Baptist who discussed Satan’s presence in the NFL during an interview with BPSportsnet, which covers sports from a “spiritual perspective.”
Davis, who along with teammates Jason Whitten and Terence Newman, sat down for the interview with the God-fearing BPSportnet shortly after the Pro Bowl. All three of them discussed how their faith intersects with their careers, but Davis’ comments were the most enlightening:
On the temptations of the NFL: “The biggest thing is for Christians who come into the league or [for] those of us who are already here is to know is that Satan is definitely on the prowl. He wants to see us fail.”
So, Satan is the Commissioner of the UFL?
Who knows? Maybe Davis is on to something here. To be frank, I am not sure to what extent Satan’s demonic ways have permeated and corrupted the National Football League, but I can tell you one thing: Satan definitely is happy there will be an uncapped season in 2010.
“The Power of Christ compels you to work out a new Collective Bargaining Agreement! The Power of Christ compels you to work out a new Collective Bargaining Agreement”
Say it with me. “The Power of Christ compels you to work out a new Collective Bargaining Agreement!”
May the Lord be with us during these evil times.
Cowboys discuss their Christian faith, Satan [The Dallas Morning News]
Joe Theismann Is One Magnificent A**hole
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I know. Shocking, right?
For some reason or another, there are some people out there who still want to hear what Joe Theismann thinks about stuff. Theismann (hilariously photographed above with former teammate Mark Moseley) was making his rounds up and down Radio Row (I can imagine him saying crap like, “Hey, want to interview me? No? Do you know who I am? I used to be somebody!”) when Joe found unwitting victim willing to interview him, Mike Dempsey of Jacksonville radio station 1010XL.
The topic of Tim Tebow came up, because, well, how can you possibly have a discussion about football without talking about Tim Tebow? Bitter Old Man Theismann opined that Jesus’ favorite quarterback (sorry, Kurt Warner – it is what it is) should have retired from football with his sterling athletic reputation intact.
Joe Theismann, you ignorant slut.
Just imagine this nightmare scenario: after making the long trip to Vancouver, British Columbia – arriving at the airport four hours early, making your way through security, boarding the plane only to discover you are seated next to some 500 pound woman with irritable bowel syndrome, flight transfers, painstakingly getting through customs, etc. – just so you can be there to witness the majesty and splendor of the 2010 Winter Games; you, exhausted and weary from your travels, go to check into your room at the Vancouver Hilton, only to find out that they have no reservation under your name.
This cannot be right! You have your itinerary right there and it plainly states that you have booked a room at the Vancouver Hilton! Jeez Louise and for cryin’ out loud, what in tarnation is going on here? What’s that? Uh-oh, there is but one problem: although you did in fact book a room at a Vancouver Hilton, you unknowingly made your reservations with the Hilton in Vancouver, WASHINGTON.
Great googly moogly.
