Off Topic: Best. Men’s. Salon. Ever.

Note: I came across this business when an ad for it popped up in the sidebar of The Denver Post article about the millionaire bowler immediately below this post.

If you are the type of guy who erroneously believes you are far too manly to enjoy the finer things in life like a massage or a manicure or a pedicure or a nice shave, you would most definitely change your mind if a shop like A Little Off The Top were opening in your town. As you can see above, “All services are performed by LICENSED Professionals in classy Lingerie.”

Hubba hubba.

Below is a little info about “A Little Of The Top,” a name that is fitting in more ways – sexier ways – than one.

We are a discreet Gentlemen’s Salon, offering the following services in Sexy Attire serving the Denver metro area.

Haircuts * Waxing * Massages * Pedicures * Shaving * Manicures

Our Salon boasts a plush lounge area which has a big screen TV and magazines while you wait for services to begin.

We also have flat screen TVs at each stylist chair so you never miss that big game…

All of our stylists are licensed and beautiful – even- our receptionist will take your breath away. Your visit to our salon will be unforgettable.

We are not your average, everyday, hair salon. Why settle for mediocrity, when you can have your salon services performed by a stunning woman in sexy attire.

Let us treat you like the king you are – we guarantee your usual stylist doesn’t stand a chance against us.

Discreet? Sexy attire? Treated like a king? Usual stylist? Take my breath away? Unforgettable? Stand? To?

I’m sold. That’s it, I’m moving to Denver. Alright, maybe that would be a bit rash, but here is what I would like to know:

WHY ARE THERE NOT SALONS LIKE THIS IN EVERY MAJOR METROPOLITAN AREA IN THE UNITED STATES??

It’s un-American, dammit. Although I’m not sure I could afford to get a manicure, pedicure, a shave and a haircut three times a week. Yes, I neglected to mention the massage – I would only have those twice a week – I’m not a total pervert, you know.

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