BREAKING NEWS: Proof That Johnny Weir Cannot Possibly Be Gay
By
I know there has been a lot of discussion lately regarding U.S. figure skater Johnny Weir’s sexual orientation (I refer you to Deadspin’s feature, “Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir’s Gayness”), but let me be the first to break it to you that no, Johnny Weir is not in fact a homosexual man (not that there’s anything wrong with it).
He can’t be, not after you read about how he intends to decorate his room in Olympic Village:
Weir plans to hang a big picture in his room of Lady Gaga, who he says will be “watching over us, protecting us.”
So, there you have it. That’s about as straight as you can get. What gay man would adorn his walls with the sexy, titillating image of Lady Gaga in poster form? Don’t believe me? Submitted for your approval:
Nope, a Lady Gaga poster pretty much confirms that Johnny Weir has the heterosexual hormones of a teenager.
I mean, I am a HUGE Lady Gaga fan and I am as straight as they come. She’s great. Talented, sexy, the whole kit and caboodle. If there was anything remotely gay about being goo-goo for Gaga – well sir, that would be mind-blowing news to me.
Wait. What’s that? Really? Gay icon? You sure?
Oh, man. I mean, oh, um, woman. Yep, women. Hot, naked, horny, slutty women. Nothing better, amirite? You gotta love chicks!
Ugh. This is not good. I feel so un-fabulous right now.
U.S. team settling in, Lady Gaga on watch | Olympics notebook [The Seattle Times]
For Gay Activists, The Lady Is a Champ [The Washington Post]
I’ve been saying that he wasn’t gay from the beginning. For one thing, he is the sweetest thing since grape jelly. He is just very fashion conscience. People need to get to know him as a real person before they make assumptions whether he is gay. He is unfortunately in a sport that like in ballet men think that it is sissy to be one with all the sparkly and outrageous costumes. It has always been that way and we need to change men’s perceptions. I think Johnny is beautiful.
He is a pole smoker.
@Bill, Oh ya for sure there is no doubt he is a pole smoker. What the fuck are you smoking that makes you actually think for a second that he is straight. Must be incredible shit, please share. Having a poster of a women whose music is loved by mostly gay men and women does not help make him look straight. And Lady Gaga is not even a woman, she is a hermaphrodite with a penis. You should get some opinions from gay men with expert Gaydars. Guarantee 100% of them will agree with me.
@John, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sarcasm
That should help.
I am an enormous fan of Johnny Weir and yes I am gay, I also know that Johnny is gay. I have the same poster of lady gaga on my wall in my bedroom and several others. He can be gay and a fan of Lady GaGa like me
Johnny likes her cuz shes an artist like him. He could be straight, he could be gay. It doesn’t matter. He is a true artist.