If The New Don Shula Statue Doesn’t Have ‘A Noble Spirit Embiggens The Smallest Man’ Quote On It, I Ain’t Interested

shula statue

The Miami Dolphins paid tribute to their legendary coach Don Shula by erecting an 11-foot bronze statue and holding a ceremony yesterday before the Pro Bowl. The statue immortalizes the moment when Shula was carried off the field by two players after the Dolphins won the Super Bowl in 1972 and completed the one and only perfect season in NFL history.

No, I’m not kidding – the 1972 Dolphins are the only team ever to have a perfect season. I’m surprised you have never heard about it. At the same time, most of the players on that team are pretty low-key about it, you know, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Of course, Coach Shula was honored and humbled by the gesture. I know this because he said he was honored and humbled.

“I’m honored. I’m humbled,” Shula said. “I thank my players for the things we were able to accomplish.”

See? I told you so. You know, you should probably just believe everything I tell you instead of making me prove it. Sheesh.

The Dolphins also recognized the great accomplishments of Shula by changing the address of the corporate offices for the team to 347 Don Shula Drive – because Shula had 347 career victories, not because of some weird numerology mumbo jumbo, which could have been the case since there are lots of weirdos down in Miami, in case you didn’t know that.

Commissioner Roger Goodell also attended the ceremony – I guess he had the time available since there aren’t any minority players in need of suspension at the moment – and announced the creation of the Coach Shula Award, which “will honor a coach at any level who displays the integrity, achievement and positive impact on others exemplified by Shula.”  If I could take a moment, I would like to nominate former Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach as well as former Kansas coach Mark Mangino for the award. Seems like the right thing to do.

Many of Shula’s former players were in attendance for the dedication of the status, but Dan Marino perpetuated his reputation as a self-centered dickbag by showing up 45 minutes late. The nerve of some people. Star in one movie with Jim Carrey and drop a couple pounds and become a spokesperson for NutriSystem and I guess it can make a person think they can do whatever the hell you want.

So congrats Coach Don Shula. May many a pigeon shit all over your bronze likeness.

Shula honored with statue from Dolphins, NFL award in his name [NFL.com/AP]

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2 Comments

  1. HabsFan29

    February 1, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Mercury Morris immediately proclaimed no team will ever have a statue this great.

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