Archive for January, 2010
Early in the second period, after Wild goaltender Niklas Backstrom surrendered four goals on only fifteen shots during the first twenty-five minutes of the Minnesota’s matchup with the Dallas Stars Monday night, coach Todd Richards pulled his starter and replaced him with Josh Harding. Little did Richards know that Harding would get involved in a little dustup with Stars center Steve Ott later in the period.
Harding, in to replace shellacked starter Niklas Backstrom, took exception to the Dallas Stars’ agitator slashing him, then lying on him and finally taking his sweet old time getting off him.
So Harding, who once broke Jamie Storr’s nose in a minor league goalie showdown, stood up for himself and thus demonstrated more emotion in a matter of seconds than his teammates showed in the first 40 minutes…
The mini-brawl inspired his teammates to stage a comeback, although the rally came up short, as the Wild went on to lose 4-3. To his credit, Harding was stellar, stopping all fourteen shots he faced in relief of Backstrom.
Video follows.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Have something interesting you would like to see here? Use the Contact/Tips page up top or shoot me an e-mail. You shan’t regret it. Unless your mom grounded you because you infected the family computer by downloading amputee porn, you twisted little pervert.
• Granted, that “In Russia” joke makes little sense, but you have to take ‘em when you can get ‘em. Traffic in Moscow screeched to a halt last week due to gawkerism when a computerized billboard began showing a porn. Of course, it was hackers. “‘They were either acting out of hooliganism or were from a rival company,’ Viktor Laptev, commercial director of advertising firm Panno.ru, told RIA.” Hooligan porn? Interesting. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
• Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau was added to Baseball Canada’s Wall of Excellence. So, it’s just him and Larry Walker, right? [TSN]
You know, like that song by Jimmy Buffett, “Daiquriville”? Or is it “Pina Colada Township”? Shit, I don’t remember.
Sad news for fans of stadiums named after shitty beers pimped by ’70s gimmicky island-pop singers. That’s right. As of Wednesday of this week, LandShark Stadium, a/k/a Dolphin Stadium in Miami, is no more. You may recall that last May, an agreement was reached between Dolphins ownership at the makers of LandMark Lager, an alcoholic beverage bottled by one of crooner Jimmy Buffett’s businesses, to have the home field named LandShark Stadium.
Unfortunately, LandShark’s naming rights ended on January 5th after the Orange Bowl. So, who is the next company to win the rights to be the next sponsor of Dolphin Stadium, you ask?
Sun Life Financial. Wow. Now that’s a company that inspires confidence and will strike fear into the hearts of all opponents who dare enter the hallowed stadium.
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It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (January 18th)
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• Are NHL teams living up to the high standards set by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? LeNoceur investigates. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Could this be the end of the career of Brian Westbrook? [Second-String Fullback]
• I’ve got some orange wedges for her, whatever that means: video documentation of Stacy Kiebler playing soccer. [Don Chavez]
• Oh, Peter King: you ham-fisted buffoon. Thank goodness Drew takes some time out of his schedule to notch the corpulent scribe down a peg or two. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Despite being away from the sport for nearly four years, Sasha Cohen is still the biggest name in figure skating. It’s not hard to see why, with her incredible skill, competitive spirit, beauty and most importantly, her mind-bending flexibility. Oh, the flexibility.
“Everybody thinks so many different things,” Cohen said after the mere confirmation she would be at nationals generated more buzz than anything any of the current U.S. women have done. “Some people love me, some people hate me. Some people think I’m going to compete for the next 10 years, some people were ready to write me off five years ago. You can’t listen to what people say.”
Maybe Sasha can choose to not listen to what people say, but it would be nice if she stopped sending back my love letters painstakingly written using cut-up letters out of magazines and newspapers. Oh, and my Sasha Cohen macaroni art? Came back smashed into pieces. I’m blaming the post office for that one…
(begins drifting off…)
Whoa. Where was I? Man, you know what? I was going to hit the high points of the lengthy profile of the lovely Miss Cohen that can be found at the Sporting News, but my heart is just not into it today. I am hungover, tired and just want this day to be over with. Go ahead and read the article for yourself. I assume it is very interesting and enlightening, but how in the hell would I know? I didn’t read the whole thing. I did mention it was long, right?
Instead, here’s a mini photo gallery of Sasha in all her glory. Commence ogling. Really, it’s the only reason you are reading this post anyway.
Four years later, Cohen as captivating as ever [Sporting News]
To be honest, I haven’t a friggin’ clue what my headline means, so perhaps I shouldn’t be making fun of this poor fellow who writes headlines for the Boston Herald and his (or her) attempt at punny headline humor.
He’s Favre too good? Seriously? That’s just a horrible, horrible effort.
Instead, I would have went with, “For the Vikings, 40-year-old gunslinger was a safe Brett.”
You see, that’s funny, people. But I don’t need to tell you that. The pageview counts for this blog alone are a testament to my comedic brilliance.
He’s Favre too good [Boston Herald]
Sarah Palin + Daytona 500 = Redneck Nirvana?
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I have never claimed to be an expert on Whitetrashians, the prevalent social group amongst fans of NASCAR, but I have to imagine that this is a match made in heaven: former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin will be attending the Daytona 500 after race officials granted her request for credentials. Speedway president Robin Braig addressed the decision:
“We went to NASCAR for their recommendation and they said, ‘Some people are going to like them and some people won’t. NASCAR does not take sides either way. Let’s showcase her as we would our mayor or governor.’ So she comes with NASCAR’s blessing.”
NASCAR spokesman Ramsey Poston said Palin won’t have an official position, such as grand marshal, for the event.
“I expect she will be visible and I expect the media will have questions for her and things like that,” Poston said.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone in attendance will put up much of a fuss about Palin attending. All that is missing to create the redneckian trifecta is get Toby Keith to show up and pistol whip a bunch of foreigners in the infield and it will be day that all NASCAR fans in attendance will likely never forget. Which is a good thing: the Good Lord knows it’s been a hard couple of years for them, with Jeff Foxworthy eschewing more frequent stand-up routines while fixing to demonstrate how he’s more intelligent than all of them on that Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader show. Darn tootin’ they’re smarter – most of them made it all the way to 6th grade, so the joke is on Foxworthy – which is surprising, considering a joke and Foxworthy are normally mutually-exclusive.
Sarah Palin to attend Daytona 500 [Daytona Beach News-Journal]
Dallas Cowboys linebacker Keith Brooking had his itty-bitty feelings hurt by the big bad Minnesota Vikings. Unable to stop the Vikings the entire game and Vikings leading 27-3, Brooking took issue with how Minnesota elected to have Brett Favre run a pass play. Let’s allow Chris Chase of Shutdown Corner set the stage:
After the second turnover on downs, Minnesota took over on Dallas’ 37-yard line. With 5:26 remaining and the Vikes holding a nearly insurmountable lead, runs to milk the clock were expected. But after an Adrian Peterson run on first down, Favre hit Bernard Berrian for 19 yards on the next play. Two Peterson runs followed, before Favre threw a short three-yard pass to bring up fourth-and-three after the two minute warning.
Here, the Vikes had four choices: 1. They could take a knee and give Dallas the ball back for the game’s final two minutes; 2. Wave a partial white flag and run the ball up the middle; 3. Kick a field goal (which also could have been percevied as running up the score); 4. Drop Favre back to attempt a pass.
Of course, we all know what happened next: Favre found tight end Visanthe Shiancoe in the endzone for an 11-yard touchdown pass. Brooking took exception, going over to the Vikings sideline to get in the face of anyone willing to listen to him. After the game, Brooking called it “classless.”
“I thought it was totally classless and disrespectful. This is the NFL, that’s not what this is about. I don’t think there’s a place for that … I was looking for [Vikings coach Brad] Childress. I didn’t think it was right, but they’ve got to see us next year.”
Hey Brooking, do you want a little cheese with your whine?
Wake N’ Blog is now and will forever be the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. It is very happy today after the Vikings beat the tar out of the Dallas Cowboys. Wait. Is Wake N’ Blog gloating? Damn right it’s gloating.
• Bad news out of Montenegro: the country’s only hippo, a two-ton female named Nikica, escaped from its enclosure at the zoo after seasonal flooding. Crazy artiodactyl.[Yahoo!/Reuters]
• Poor, poor Nate Keading. I bet it sucks to be late guy right about now. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Apparently, the new owner of the Cubs wants a World Series title. Yeah, good luck with all that. [Sporting News/AP]
• Wait, Alexander Ovechkin has never scored a goal in a shootout until yesterday? Is that what they’re saying in this article? Huh. [NHL.com]
• Rest in peace, Gaines Adams. He was only 26-years-old. Damn. [Chicago Tribune]
Site News: Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag
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Of course, by “Papa,” I mean me and by “Brand New Bag” I mean another weekend editing gig at a prominent sports blog.
That’s right, kids. Somehow, Ol’ Weed has managed to trick yet another blog into allowing me to sully their good reputation – this time it’s at Out of Bounds over on NBCsports.com. Many of you are undoubtedly aware that Out of Bounds is run by none other than Rick Chandler, one of the O.G. Deadspin writers from back in the day.
So, please stop by Out of Bounds this weekend and say hello. I promised Rick that simply through the dedicated readership of the Sportress, I could generate an thousands hundreds tens maybe two or three additional visitors to his site. Now don’t go and make me look like a fool – I do a plenty good job of that on my own.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (January 15th)
Posted by:• Here’s a sneak preview of MLB 2K10. [FirstCuts]
• A first look at NBC’s Winter Olympic coverage. [Awful Announcing]
• Apparently, Mark Grace stayed away from steroids because he liked his sex life. [Mouthpiece Blog]
• The title says it all: “Ed Reed accidentally killed Reggie Wayne’s python in college. [Shutdown Corner]
• After kicking Tiger Woods to the curb, Accenture replaced him with a surfing elephant. [Out of Bounds]
Ahh, bloody hell!
The National Football League has announced that the San Francisco 49ers will surrender a home game next season when they take on the Denver Broncos on October 31st at Wembley Stadium in London.
One person who is thrilled about the news – probably because he isn’t a member of one of the teams being forced to travel to England – is commissioner Roger Goodell.
“For the past three years we have seen the extraordinary passion that exists for NFL football in the UK,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “We want to continue to build on that passion by strengthening our ties to our existing UK fans and creating new ones.”
Gasp! Controversy on the Tour! Even without the presence of Tiger Woods at a PGA Tour event, rumors are circulating that two golfers – presumably in open marriages – have been seen out messing around with some 20-year-olds.
Okay, okay. I’ll fess up – the 20-year-olds I am alluding to are not sexy golfing groupie gals spicing up the sex lives of married PGA golfers. Too bad, because that would have made a far sexier story. But what if I told you the story involved John Daly? Would that count for something? It would? Super!
The Sportress, continuing its quest of bringing you the most relevant sports news in the most sophomoric way imaginable, would like to touch on two stories fresh off the pisses. Er, presses.
In NFL news, Dean Pees stepped down from his post as defensive coordinator for the New England Patriots to “pursue other opportunities.”
Meanwhile, in tennis, Shahar Peer beat Sara Errani 6-2, 6-0 to advance to the finals at the Hobart International.
Heh. Pees. Peer. Granted, Peer isn’t as obvious of a urinary reference as Pees, but if you allow your imagination to run with it and elongate the pronunciation, you can get “Pee-er” out of it, as in, “In the animal kingdom, the ostrich is a peer without a peer.” Or something like that.
Obviously, as a native Israeli, I imagine Sharar avoided taunts as a child since “pee” likely does not mean the same thing over there, but can you imagine the hell Dean Pees went through as a youth? It had to be at least as torturous and degrading of an experience as the one suffered by a foreign exchange student from Poland I went to high school with, Piotr Poupinpanski. That poor bastard never had a chance.
Pees to step down as Pats defensive coordinator [CBS Sports]
Peer into Hobart International final after semi win over Errani [The Canadian Press]
Ha ha! Get it? Ohm Youngmisuk is trying to make a name for himself? You know, because he has kind of a funny-sounding name? Youmgmisuk? Not doing anything for you? Whatever. Screw you guys.
Although we didn’t need these two stories to confirm the trend that during the NFL playoffs, sports writers often feel compelled to scrape the bottom of the barrel to come up with an angle regarding the upcoming games that provides a unique look that hasn’t already been discussed ad nauseum during the week.
As the Jets prepare for their game with the San Diego Chargers on Sunday, Mr. Youngmisuk hit the mother lode with his story about quarterback Mark Sanchez’s number one fan – his momma. Youngmisuk next hit the – father lode? – with a story published simultaneously on the Daily News‘ website about Sanchez’s fireman dad.
