Archive for January, 2010
From Mariotti’s column, “Tiger a Sex Addict? Career May Shrink,” (is the “shrink” reference innuendo? I can’t tell):
Getting help means he’s at least trying, even to the point of reportedly signing a “celibacy contract” prohibiting all sexual activity while being treated, including masturbation for those keeping score at home.
Giggle if you must.
Oh, I will, Mariotti. As you write, I must, in fact. The reason? Because I am keeping score at home and on my Tiger Woods Sex Addiction Bingo card, “Not Masturbating” was all I needed to win. BINGO! Take that, Grandma!
Up next in Jay’s column, a Buzz Bissinger sighting!
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportess of Blogitude’s morning link dump. It will not hesitate to go America all over everybody’s ass. Send tips, recipes, etc. to weedagainstspeed.com
• I am relieved I sniffed out this story: Bobbie Smith of Jonesville, Michigan was being held in Jackson County jail after she was charged with biting off a third of her sister’s nose. She is now facing charges of mayhem and domestic violence. Crazy story, to be sure, but you know how sisters can be – fighting all the time and all that nonsense. [MSNBC/AP]
• The Montreal Canadiens have donated $159,553 to assist in relief efforts in Haiti. That would buy a lot of poutine. [TSN]
• Here’s a interesting gallery of creative wine bottle holders. [Uncoached]
• Punte scored an interview with the co-creator of the Alaska hockey/bear video. Well done. [With Leather]
Some of you may not be familiar with Teddy Dupay. To be honest, I recognized his name and remembered some stuff about him, but I either had forgotten or was never aware of how great he was as a high school basketball phenom (he averaged 41.5 points per game before he became even more well-known playing at the University of Florida. Dupay’s career was cut short after he found himself entangled in a gambling case, but he went on to play basketball in Ecuador, among other more nefarious pursuits, including being charged in June 2008 with felony rape, aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping after a fight with his girlfriend. He later pleaded guilty to lesser charges, ultimately serving 30 days in jail, getting released and put on probation less than four months ago.
Fanhouse has a fascinating profile on the interesting and charismatic Dupay, including a discussion of what has become his latest endeavor: legalizing pot.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (January 20th)
Posted by:
• Be sure to head on over to WL so you can vote to score out buddy Punte a free trip to Vegas on Super Bowl weekend. [With Leather]
• Albert Pujols cannot believe people want to talk about Mark McGwire with all the bad things going on in the world. [Bugs & Cranks]
• Why wouldn’t you pay $10,000 for this Michael Jordan cardboard cutout? [FirstCuts]
• Awesome: the 19 all-time greatest Tiger Woods scandal t-shirts. [Busted Coverage]
Who woulda thunk it, right? Leave it to the New York Daily News to blow the lid off a mind-blowing informational powder keg like this. Ready? According to one New York City resident (Matt Lysiak, the writer of the article) who made the trip to Indianapolis for the AFC Championship game between the Colts and the Jets, the quality of cuisine that can be found in Indianapolis pales in comparison to what one can get in New York City. I mean, Indianapolis only has eight million less people living in its city limits, and those residents are just a smidgen less diverse than the City That Never Sleeps, so what gives?
Here’s the premise of this article.
Daily News reporter Matt Lysiak is in Indianapolis for the upcoming playoff game between the New York Jets and Indianapolis Colts. But he’s finding his taste buds missing the sweet flavors of New York City, as he ranks the local grub to that found in New York City.
Brilliant! So, there you have it: a gastrointestinal battle royal pitting the city called “The Crossroads of America” and the sprawling metropolis known as “The City So Nice They Named It Twice.” WHO YA GOT?
A breakdown of Lysiak’s findings follow.
(Don’t even waste our time starting with bagels…don’t even waste our time starting with bagels…)
On a hot streak heading into the Australian Open, having recently beat both Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal en route to winning the ATP Tour Finals in London, Russian tennis star Nikolay Davydenko would like to get a few things off his chest. After destroying German Dieter Kindlmann 6-1 6-0 6-3 in the first round, Davydenko sat down with reporters and gave them some wonderful, provocative answers, albeit in incredibly broken, hard-to-understand English. Really, is there anything better than observing someone butcher the English language? Obviously, you must agree otherwise you wouldn’t be on this blog.
Just a quick post before I head out for lunch. For some reason, this headline just struck me as kind of stupid. Yes, I understand the King James reference and all that, but “put Raptors to sword”? What’s next? “King James Angers Warriors By Invoking Primae Noctus After Triple-Double”?
Further, would the universe cave in on itself if LeBron James decided he wanted to play for Sacramento?
Heavy stuff, man. Probably a question that shouldn’t be contemplated on an empty stomach. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get a Whopper at Burger…
Hey, wait a second. All this king stuff has gotten into my head. Damn you, LeBron James.
“King” James helps Cavaliers put Raptors to sword [Reuters]
At 5:00 today and spending an entire half-hour (!) at the lamely-named “NHL Powered By Reebok” store in Manhattan, Dwayne Johnson a/k/a The Rock a/k/a Box Office Poison will be making an appearance to promote his latest film, the celluloid afterbirth known as Tooth Fairy. For those of you lucky enough to have managed to avoid this film like the cinematic black death that it is, here’s a synopsis:
In “Tooth Fairy,” Johnson plays pro hockey player Derek Thompson, a minor-league enforcer who earns the nickname “Tooth Fairy” for knocking out the teeth of his opponents. His hockey career and life change forever when he is forced to become a real Tooth Fairy as punishment for his overly aggressive ways.
If the charges are accurate, it really makes you wonder how Anna turned out to be such a successful person. At the same time, I guess being a international sex symbol has little to do with the parenting skills of those who raised you. In fact, a crappy childhood may actually help expedite said transformation into being known solely for good looks and killer body, but I digress.
Alla Kournikova, the 46-year-old mother of “professional tennis player” Anna, was arrested and booked on charges of third degree felony for child neglect after she left her five-year-old son Allan (Anna’s half-brother) home alone as she ran errands. While home alone, little Allan jumped out of second story window, landed on some rocks and was discovered by neighbors “crying, screaming and bleeding.” Yowsers.
Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. It rubs the lotion on the skin – upon request. Send tips, comments, threats to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.
• Big news out of the Red Light District in Amsterdam: the Deputy Mayor of the fine European city is proposing changing the opening hours of the District’s brothels and raising the age in which a woman can legally become a prostitute from 18 to 23. The mayor said on Dutch radio that, “Only the biggest creeps and boozers are walking around at those hours. Women really dread working then and sometimes the most vulnerable are used.” Not so fast, says a spokesperson for the local union for prostitutes (yes, they have a union): “This is not a good idea, this is the time when the prostitutes can make the most money. Quite the conundrum. As long as the government keeps their nose out of the hash bars, I guess. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but any mental bleach you may have on hand would probably be helpful right about now. Jeebus.
So, here is how I managed to find this image like this on the internet:
- Google News search for “last call”;
- See story about how it is last call for free Star Trek online beta keys, whatever that means;
- Ponder what angle to use for post, come up with “do Google image search for ‘sexy Star Trek’;
- Find horribly awkward image of Spock and Kirk sharing a bath;
- …
- Profit?
Well, we’ll have to see how profitable an endeavor this turns out to be, but until then, carry on my wayward son.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (January 18th)
Posted by:• Bring on the Chan Gailey haterade. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The triumphant return of “Ask Joe Thornton.” [Melt Your Face Off]
• Brazilian tennis player gets into scuffle with female spectator. [Guyism]
• A ballboy pissed himself at the Australian Open. Awkward. [With Leather]
• Big news! If the Saints win the Super Bowl, Reggie Bush will propose to Kim Whatsherface. [Shutdown Corner]
“Croatian tennis thugs,” which was how they are referred to by New York Daily News staff writer Neil Nagraj – am I the only one who thought “tennis” and “thugs” were mutually exclusive terms? – caused quite a stir at Day 1 of the Australian Open. Armed with flares and reportedly making Nazi salutes, the unruly mob made their presence known in Melbourne Park, harassing fans and allegedly even attacked a Melbourne Herald Sun photographer in the process.
Sure, it’s not the first time an airline has lost a piece of luggage, but leave it to them to misplace such a valuable piece of cargo. I mean, come on, how do you lose the Stanley Cup?
On Sunday, before a flight to Vancouver for a charity appearance, Mike Bolt, the so-called “Keeper of the Cup,” who travels over 200 days a year with Lord Stanley’s Cup, checked the unmarked case which holds the Cup at the New Jersey airport. When he landed in Vancouver and went to recover the case, it was nowhere to be found.
I wasn’t expecting a problem since it’s such a simple flight with no connections,” Bolt, who has been traveling with the Stanley Cup for 10 years, told Reuters. “Anyway, they call me over and tell me the package is not there.”
See, not expecting any problems is where Bolt made his error in judgment. That’s when the airlines will screw you every time. When you least expect it. And what’s the deal with those bag of peanuts they give you? I mean, who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?
Anyway, the Cup was thankfully located – it ended up in Toronto because the case carrying it the priceless cargo was tagged with both Vancouver and Toronto airport codes. Good job, New Jersey airport baggage handlers. The Cup was back in the safe hands of Mr. Bolt several hours later but due to the delay, the Cup missed its scheduled appearance. I bet this never would have happened if Bolt chose to fly with Southwest Airlines. Those folks love and treasure your bags – they say so right in their commercials and we all know that commercials never lie.
Stanley Cup gets sent on unexpected road trip [Reuters]
Despite the fact that I regularly age myself with lame pop culture references from the early ’80s, I couldn’t pass this one up, and I suspect I will not be the only thirtysomething blogger to do the same. Sources familiar with the negotiations have indicated that the Seattle Seahawks will name Green Bay Packers executive John Schneider as their new general manager.
The official spoke to The Associated Press Tuesday asking to not be named because the team had yet to officially announce the hire. ESPN first reported the hiring.
Schneider was one of four candidates the Seahawks interviewed last week. He will share personnel responsibilities with new coach Pete Carroll.
For those of you still in diapers in the ’80s or were not even a twinkle yet in their deadbeat daddy’s eyes (he’s never coming back, just so you know), there was a show on CBS called the The Dukes of Hazzard. It detailed the good ol’ times of the good ‘ol Duke boys and starred actors John Schneider and Tom Wopat as Bo and Luke Duke. The Duke Boys spent most of their time righting hillbilly wrongs and evading local corrupt businessman Boss Hogg’s henchmen primarily by launching the General Lee, a souped-up 1969 Dodge Charger, over various impediments courtesy of strategically-placed bales of hay and dirt mounds. The Duke Boys also had the ability to blow things up simply by shooting arrows from their compound bows at things. It was a delightful little program.
