Archive for December, 2009
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 2nd)
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• Tennis player Andy Murray got dumped by his girlfriend because he plays too many video games. Boy, I know how that feels. Playing video games. [With Leather]
• Jason Campbell is no Tom Brady. [Mr. Irrelevant]
• And here I thought it was impossible to make Howie Long even douchier than he already is. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Vintage Ken Griffey/Don Mattingly commercial. [Big League Stew]
• Who else is going to teach Mark Sanchez how to slide? Joe Torre? [More Hardball]
• This guy is right: the sports world is indeed turned upside down. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]
Heh. Weiner. You know, I’m not even sure if it is pronounced like “weener” or “whiner.” Huh.
Weiner has been unanimously approved to become the next executive director of the Major League Baseball Players Association, succeeding Donald Fehr, who held the post since December 8, 1983. And if the owners think the 47-year-old Weiner is going to be some sort of creampuff compared to his predecessor and not represent the players’ best interests, they better think again:
“If there are owners who misjudge or underestimate the resolve of the players this time, I think they’ll be met with the same surprise that owners of the past have met with when they misjudged the resolve of the players,” Weiner said.
Damn straight. So a hearty congratulations to Michael Weiner. I just hope he doesn’t get too cocky. He will just come across as a total dick.
Weiner.
Weiner succeeds Fehr as baseball union head [The Associated Press]
With the cities of Chicago, Dallas and Boston having already been conquered, ESPN has set its sights on Los Angeles as the next lucky American city to have its own dedicated site under the ever-reaching, all-powerful ESPN.com. ESPN.com Los Angeles is set to launch on December 21st. Lucky them.
Heading up the charge to generate a buzz about L.A. being the next city where tWWL will take complete control of its sports coverage is ESPN and ABC Sports President George Bodenheimer (Bodie!), who sang (sung?) the merits of having ESPN come into your town, to, um, party down.
Bodenheimer, speaking at the prestigious Reuters Global Media Summit in New York, spoke very fondly regarding the possibilities (and the profits – ooooooh, the profits!) such an endeavor can bring about for the Worldwide Leader in Sports.
“Over time, I expect those (local sites) to be significant profit drivers for our company.”
Seriously, when is the last time this guy did anything funny? Mork & Mindy, maybe? The secret to making acting all coked-up and manic funny is to be coked-up and manic. Otherwise, it just comes off as hacky.
Anyhow, Robin Williams has become Inimigo público número um in Rio di Janeiro after his comments on The Late Show With David Letterman regarding the Carnaval-loving city’s successful bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics – at the expense of Chicago’s desperate attempt to host the Games.
Williams, in that awkward delivery only he has mastered (much to my annoyance), stated that Rio di Janeiro was successful in its bid because it sent “50 strippers and a pound of blow.” Oh snap! A burn? Perhaps slightly. But either way, it sure makes me wish I was on the International Olympic Committee. My teeth are getting numb just thinking about it.
Well, being the hot-blooded people that they are, the residents of Rio are mightily pissed off at the comic. The mayor has accused Williams of being jealous and the clip of Williams making the joke on Letterman has become angst-inducing fodder for news shows all over the country, much like this one:
During the Buffalo Sabres 3-0 shutout victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs on Monday night, goaltender Ryan Miller made a nearly impossible shot: when trying to clear the puck out of the zone, Miller somehow was able to shoot the puck through the tiny hole in the glass that photographers use to get unobstructed photos of the action on the ice. Pow! Right in the kisser!
In the end, the photographer seemed to be no worse for wear. Sure, he got a nasty bruise on his cheek for his work in the trenches but ultimately received Miller’s goalie stick after time expired as some sort of compensation for his injury. So I guess all’s well that end’s well. Or something.
[H/T Total Pro Sports]
• Hines Ward was all over the internets apologizing for his “criticism” of Ben Roethlisberger. [P.S.A.M.P.]
• Who else wants to enroll at the Tim Tebow School of Life? [The Sporting Blog]
• LOLNFL Week 12. Enough said. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Cuban umpires are now defecting to the United States? Before you know it, ball boys will be floating over here in an inflatable raft. [Big League Stew]
• Hoo boy. Time for NSFWednesday. And Santa Claus is coming to town. [Melt Your Face Off]
• The Kansas City Chiefs are retiring Derrick Thomas’ number. [Second-String Fullback]
• For those of you who haven’t seen it, the Taiwanese Tiger Woods Crash Re-Enactment Video. [With Leather]
Not even close, huh?
Anyhoo, Woods released a statement on his official site where he apologizes for doing whatever it is he did (he doesn’t mention that), and how those actions have caused him to be a bad husband and father; admits how hard it is to be subjected to intense media scrutiny and expresses that “no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy.”
As many of you probably saw evidence of before the NFL Gestapo attempted to stomp out all video traces of the incident, Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels was caught screaming at his players for blowing a drive by having three false starts – probably in an attempt to pump them up – during Denver’s 26-6 curbstomping of the New York Giants on Thanksgiving evening and during said tirade, a “motherfucking” was caught being expelled out of the fiery coach’s mouth by NFL Network cameras.
I know! Won’t somebody think of the children?
The NFL Network jumped first, immediately apologizing for having the expletive broadcast to the dozens of homes that actually can get the NFL Network. McDaniels, for his part in the gaffe, initially played it off with a snarky remark, saying, “It’s the NFL Network. Doesn’t surprise me.”
And although that total burn on the quality of NFL Network programming was clever, it probably didn’t sit to well with the suits at the NFL, because lo and behold, there was Josh McDaniels on Tuesday apologizing for…swearing. Because, you know, no one ever swears on an NFL sideline. Most coaches and players prefer employing the Socratic Method to discuss issues that arise during the game.
A group of disgruntled Raiders fans – are there any other kind? – recently purchased a billboard near Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum imploring owner Al Davis to hire someone else to make the management decisions for the beleaguered franchise, namely a general manager, something most of the other franchises in the NFL figured out long ago.
Jared Staszewski, the owner of the website, messagetoal.com, issued a press release to various outlets that contained the following message:
“We have nothing but respect for Mr. Davis and what he has done for the team over the years. But that effort and our championships are in the past. I have been a loyal fan since 1993 and in those 16 years we (the Raiders) have only had four playoff appearances. We are now on track for our seventh losing season in a row and we believe something has to change,” he said.
Among the changes the grassroots organization would like to see implemented are:
1. Please step down as “General Manager”
2. Hire a new GM
3. Hire a “Super Bowl” caliber coach
4. Agree to refrain from intervention in personnel or football operational matters
The website has already secured 21,000 signatures via an online petition, well on the way to reaching the stated goal of 50,000.
Democracy in action, kids! If only the NFL and its franchises had to abide by democratic principles. But it is clever in its own way and indicates that at least some people still care about the Oakland Raiders.
Raiders fans put up billboard asking Al Davis to hire a GM [Sports Rubbish]
Oakland Raiders fan group’s I-880 billboard asks Al Davis to hire a GM [InsideBayArea]
• NHL. Chicago Blackhawks 4, Columbus Blue Jackets 3 (SO). After eight consecutive rounds of no scoring, Brent Seabrook scored a goal in the 11th round of the shootout to give Chicago the win. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. New York Knicks 126, Phoenix Suns 99. The Knicks blew out the Suns behind Danilo Gallinari’s 27 points and 10 rebounds as New York snapped a 5-game losing streak. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• NFL. Ben Roethlisberger has been headache-free during workouts this week and is expected to start Sunday against Oakland. [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
• I heard the advertising slogan for a pair of lowriding jeans is “goes below the 38th Parallel.” The first designer jeans produced by North Korea will go on sale this coming Friday in Sweden. The cleverly named “Noko” jeans retail for about 1,500 Swedish crowns, which is approximately $215 American. Do you know how many missles they are going to be able to buy with the profits? Kim Jong-il likes his Nokos tortured by stonewashing before he wears them. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
Butt Ugly’s Saloon, a bar located in the above-pictured idyllic setting of Waterloo, Iowa, has had a rough go of it since it opened on November 1st. Besides having the name Butt Ugly’s Saloon, the tavern was burglarized twice in less than two days over the Thanksgiving holiday.
According to police, employees noticed someone took an undisclosed amount of cash after entering the bar’s office area Thursday. Then about 6 a.m. Friday, Waterloo officers were called back to the tavern for a report of another burglary. They found someone was inside and arrested Kelly McCoy, 21, of 615 Courtland St., when he exited, police said.
McCoy was arrested on charges of third-degree burglary and possession of marijuana with intent to deliver. Police found 11 bags of marijuana and $38 in cash, according to the police report.
Alright, here’s my question: why would someone who has decided to commit a burglary bring along 11 bags of weed inside with them? That boggles the mind. Buy hey, maybe that’s just how they do it in Iowa.
• NHL Hockey. Columbus Blue Jackets at Chicago Blackhawks. To this day, I still say for a team based in Columbus, they should have went with Jean Jackets. [Versus, 8:00 ET]
• College Basketball. It’s wall-to-wall college basketball action on tWWL. Just go there to watch if you like. Dick Vitale probably thinks this is PRETTY INTERESTING, DUDE! Is that how he does it? [ESPN/ESPN2
• Golf. Big Break Disney Golf. I'm pretty sure none of the golfers competing are having their lives picked apart by TMZ, which must be kind of nice. [Golf Channel, 10:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. Arthur. Released was back in 1981, when chronic alcoholism was hilarious! The late Dudley Moore and should have been dead years ago Liza Minnelli star. Plus, a Christopher Cross song. Nice. [WGN, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 1st)
Posted by:• An exclusive copy of Jon Gruden’s Monday Night Football analysis cheat sheet. [Mr. Irrelevant]
• Who wants a life-sized Allen Iverson bobblehead? I do! I do! [FirstCuts]
• Hines Ward apologized for his comments regarding Ben Roethlisberger not playing last Sunday. Shocking. [Mondesi's House]
• Sean Leahy counts down the Top 10 NHL coaches of the last decade. What’s this? No Barry Melrose? [Puck Daddy]
• Some cheerleaders from St. Cloud State (that’s in Minnesota – woo!) were swindled by their coach (oh). [Guyism]
• So, apparently there are a bunch of illegal golf courses in China. Huh. [Waggle Room]
• Epic fail by the folks behind Yahoo’s NHL gallery. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• More LSUfreek animated GIF magic. [The Sporting Blog]
In one of the most unbelievable outcomes in the history of humankind, NHL was the most searched for item this year on Yahoo! Canada.
Yahoo! Canada says in a statement that despite a year with persistent fears about the economy and swine flu, Canadians still managed to have a little fun as sports and entertainment topics dominated the top 10 most searched terms of 2009.
“Although sports and pop culture-related search terms always do well on the list, you could argue that interest in these topics is even higher during tougher economic times,” says Derek Chezzi, managing editor of Yahoo! Canada.
I, for one, am incredibly relieved that despite all of the trials and tribulations that Canadians have gone through in the past year, including a dramatic increase in polar bear attacks and maple syrup shortages, they have steadfastly refused to give up their love of NHL hockey. Good for you, Canadians. If only Gary Bettman gave a shit about you, which he doesn’t.
NHL tops Yahoo Canada search list [Toronto Sun/Canadian Press]
Charlize Theron (photographed above holding up a Chelsea jersey before a match in California in July of 2009), a native South African, will be present when FIFA announces the draw of the 32 teams that will compete in the 2010 World Cup, which coincidentally takes place in South Africa.
She will join FIFA general secretary Jerome Valcke to host the procedure of placing the 32 national finalists into eight groups of four teams for the 2010 tournament which runs from June 11 to July 11.
The draw’s announcement has been turned into a 90-minute television event featuring other sports celebrities which will be broadcast globally and is expected to be seen by over 200 million people in 200 countries.
Color me impressed. It’s not every day you can attract a big-time movie star like Charlize Theron to take part in this kind of event. Who knew soccer was so popular and such a global appeal?
Still, the fact that the World Cup is being held in her native country must make this quite an honor for Miss Theron. Although I bet if even part of her ancestry happened to be Irish, FIFA wouldn’t have invited her. Get it?
Hey, that’s the extent of my soccer humor. Take it or leave it.
Charlize Theron to co-host World Cup soccer draw [Reuters]
