Archive for December, 2009
• Hardly surprising, right? [Devil Ball Golf]
• Showing some respect for Jamal Lewis, who career is probably over. [Second-String Fullback]
• One of my favorite features, FCL finishes the headline. [Food Court Lunch]
• Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at the International Bowl Expo 2010. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• Braylon Edwards: same as he ever was. [The Sporting Blog]
• Your weekly edition of “Always Be Covering.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Now I get it. Ron Artest’s recent comments about when with the Chicago Bulls, he would walk down to a liquor store near the United Center in Chicago to buy Hennessy so he could drink at halftime during games was all part of a grand plan of his to help out our nation’s youth. Makes sense, especially when you take into account that Artest is planning to open up a youth center in Los Angeles that that will assist young adults learn how to better manage temptations that all young adults face.
“You’ve got to watch who you look up to,” Artest said Thursday after practice at the Los Angeles Lakers’ training complex. “I’ve got some people who I wish I would not have looked up to, but I still love.”
Is That…Is That Mark Cuban’s Music??
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It’s something like this that would actually compel me to watch professional wrestling.
Mark Cuban will be the guest host on WWE Raw when the traveling sideshow sets up the squared circle in Cuban’s American Airlines Arena in Dallas on December 7th. As guest host, Cuban is allowed to get involved in storylines and subplots during the show, but WWE wrestler Cody Rhodes, son of legendary wrestler Dusty Rhodes, would like Cuban to take it up a notch, put on some tights and actually participate in a match.
“We’ve had some guest hosts like Bob Barker who couldn’t get in the ring, but Mark Cuban is a pretty active guy,” Rhodes said. “I suggest that if he wants to get some payback on [Orton], he bring a couple of Cowboys or Mavericks to the ring on Monday and put his money where his mouth is. We’ll have an old-fashioned six-man tag match.”
• NHL. Vancouver Canucks 3, Philadelphia Flyers 0. Roberto Luongo made 38 saves to shut out the Flyers, who have now been shut out in consecutive games, the first time that has happened since Februrary 2003. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. Boston Celtics 90, San Antonio Spurs 83. Kevin Garnett led the way with 20 points as the Celtics won their sixth consecutive game. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• College Football. Oregon Ducks 37, Oregon State Beavers 33. LaMicahel James rushed for 166 yards and three touchdowns as the Ducks secured a spot in the Rose Bowl for the first time since 1995. [The Associated Press]
• Now where can an elf get dynamite? Police in Marrow, Georgia arrested 45-year-old William C. Caldwell III for allegedly walking up to a department store Santa and informing the pseudo Kris Kringle that he was carrying dynamite. Caldwell informed Santa after he waited in line to get a photo with him like everybody else. Didn’t the fact that a 45-year-old man wearing an elf suit waiting in line to see Santa tip them off before the fact?
I don’t know – he looks perfectly normal to me. [AOL/AP]
• College Football. Oregon State at Oregon. Hoo boy! Civil War, baby! I don’t have to tell you, these two teams don’t like each other. And that makes me pretty confident that each team is going to give 110% and do something else cliche-ridden. [ESPN, 9:00 ET]
• College Basketball. USC at Texas. This would been a much better matchup had it been in football. No wait. Nevermind. USC football sucks this year. Ha ha. [ESPN2, 9:00 ET]
• NBA Doubleheader. Boston Celtics at San Antonio Spurs (8:00 ET) followed up by Miami Heat at Denver Nuggets (10:30 ET). I’m sorry, I cannot get excited about NBA basketball in December. Unless I’m getting an arcade version of NBA Jam for Christmas. Then I would be pretty pumped up. [TNT]
• Oooh, this one is going to be good. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mac And Charlie Write A Movie: “Dee gets a part in the new M. Night Shyamalan movie; Mac and Charlie see a perfect opportunity to sell their movie.” Can you say “awesome”? No, really. Some people can’t. And be sure to stay tuned afterward for a new episode of The League. [FX, 10:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 3rd)
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• Attention Florida Gators fans: if you want to go all-out for your Florida-Alabama taligate party, you really should buy this 8-foot tall fiberglass alligator. [First Cuts]
• Maybe Michael Jordan could lend Tiger Woods a hand right about now. [Mouthpiece Blog]
• Learn about sexy Brazilian Roller Boxing before everybody else does. [Total Pro Sports]
• For a guy who dresses like a fruit, golfer Jesper Parnevik sure is a big talker. [With Leather]
• The New York Post used that Tiger Woods photoshop you got e-mailed to you 100 times yesterday for their cover story. Classy. [The Sports Hernia Blog]
• Some woodheads believe that Keith Ballard should have been suspended for accidentally hitting teammate Tomas Vokoun with his stick. [Puck Daddy]
• MJD is kind of lukewarm about the NFL’s new concussion policy. [Shutdown Corner]
Adrian Peterson Likes To Drive Fast
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Before the Vikings beat the Bears Sunday afternoon, running back Adrian Peterson got busted for speeding over the weekend. He was clocked by the fuzz going 109 mph in a 55-mph zone while driving in Edina, a Minneapolis suburb, on Saturday night. No word on whether a girlfriend was chasing after him.
Peterson was driving his BMW on a state highway in a 55-mph zone. Anderson says he was given a citation and allowed to drive away. She called it a “very routine” traffic stop.
Peterson tells The Associated Press he didn’t realize how fast he was going. He said he “got a little speeding ticket” and said he planned to be more careful.
Hoo boy, 109 mph? That’s pretty fast. You know, he’s right. He really should be more careful…when he’s carrying a football! BAM!
You know, because he seems to fumble a lot. No good? No?
And further, of course it was “a little speeding ticket.” Anything in Adrian Peterson’s hands probably feels little to him. I mean, have you ever tried shaking his hand? It’s like a vice grip!
Alright, I’m done.
Vikings’ Peterson gets 109 mph speeding ticket [The Associated Press]
• Yeah, I have nothing much to add here. [Deadspin]
• More LSUfreek magic. Vince Young is a real, live QB! [The Sporting Blog]
• Not sports-related, but it’s from our good friend Gourmet Spud: the lady who played Elise Keaton just came out as a lesbian. NO! [Food Court Lunch]
• Farewell, Style Points. It was a good run. [Style Points]
• Do you want a fantasy football feast? Here’s your fantasy football feast! [Second-String Fullback]
• Head on over to KSK for their Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Week. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Clay Zavada sat down with the American Mustache Institute to discuss his impeccable facial hair. [The Legend Of Cecilio Guante]
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, but why in the hell are they discussing schwag weed in a column about cricket? And duh, of course schwag would be a calming influence. Granted, it won’t get you as high as some tasty nugs, but you can still catch a buzz from it.
And what about this one? I don’t get it:
Happy Birthday, Katarina Witt!
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For those of you too young to remember – which would probably be all of you young whippersnappers – Katarina Witt was a superstar figure skater from East Germany (yes, there was an East and West Germany at one time) that melted the West’s hearts and raised our collective Democratic libido with her sexy, sultry brand of Communism, winning Olympic gold medals 1984 in Sarajevo and again in 1988 in Calgary.
Well, today is Katarina’s 44th birthday. And I must admit, she looks as great as ever.
Although Witt was a very popular figure skater, some may best remember Miss Witt from her 1998 Playboy pictorial – when she was 33 years old – which at the time was only the second issue of Playboy in the magazine’s long history to ever completely sell out. Some would say the popularity of her photo spread was due to her reputation as a figure skater. I would counter that it might have had just as much to do with her breasts – which were (and still are) fantastic. Go see for yourself, if you like. I’m sure the photos are out there for your perusal.
And yes, this post is mostly me trying to make amends for starting the day off with a photo of Amelie Mauresmo. So, we’re square now, right?
Let us all free skate in honor of Katarina Witt [Game On!]
If the NHL believes that punishing Alexander Ovechkin with a two-game suspension is going to make the superstar change and maybe think twice before playing the aggressive style of hockey he has always played, they better think again.
In fact, when asked if the suspension might make him even more intense, more aggressive, Ovechkin replied:
“Maybe,” he said Wednesday, “it just gets me more angry.”
Uh-oh.
Women’s Tennis Just Got A Lot Less Masculine
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At only 30 years old, Amelie Mauresmo has called it quits, announcing her retirement during a tearful news conference in her homeland of France.
“I don’t want to train anymore,” Mauresmo said after shedding tears about the decision. “I had to make a decision, which became evident in the last few months and weeks. When you grew older, it’s more difficult to stay at the top.”
Mauresmo is a former number one player and finished this past season at a respectable twenty-first. A two-time Grand Slam winner – the Australian Open and Wimbledon in 2006 – says she has no regrets and does not plan to stage a comeback.
Congratulations to Mauresmo on a wonderful career. The other female players on tour will miss your presence, for obvious reasons.
Former No. 1 Amelie Mauresmo retires from tennis [Yahoo!/AP]
• NHL. Florida Panthers 6, Colorado Avalanche 5 (SO). Stephen Weiss netted his second career hat trick and scored in the shootout as Scott Clemmensen made 29 saves playing for the injured Tomas Vokoun. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. Dallas Mavericks 117, New Jersey Nets 101. Dirk Nowitzki scored 24 points as Dallas sent New Jersey to their 18th straight loss, the most ever to start the season in NBA history. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• NFL. Cleveland Browns running back Jamal Lewis was placed on injured reserve due to post-concussion symptoms, effectively ending his career. Lewis had previously announced that this would be his last season. [The Associated Press]
• I have always said that all this Facebook nonsense was a bunch of funny business. Nonja, a 33-year-old orangutan living in Vienna who recently took a liking to amateur photography, has launched – well, a human friend probably did – a Facebook page showcasing a gallery of her photos. Nonja uses a camera that dispenses raisins when she takes a photo and her work already has over 500 fans on Facebook, which is more friends than I will ever have on that damn site. Lame. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
With the great Bobby Knight’s imposing legacy still casting a shadow over the program, it is probably difficult enough trying to be the head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers basketball team without feeling that it might be necessary to address the Indiana students in attendance at Assembly Hall to implore them to stop directing vulgar chants at opposing players.
But that is precisely where Indiana head coach Tom Crean found himself last night during Indiana’s 80-68 drubbing by the Maryland Terrapins. The student section appeared to have some sort of problem with Maryland’s senior Grevis Vasquez (it might have been the 23 points he scored), because the student section began directing chants of “still a pussy” at the guard when he was taking free throws. There were also reports of the crowd shouting “Go back to Cuba!” at Vasquez, which shows Indiana fans hadn’t done their research, since Vasquez is from Venezuela.
• Assload of College Basketball. Illinois at Clemson (7:15 ET) followed up by Duke at Wisconsin (9:15 ET). [ESPN]
• Assload of College Basketball Part 2, Electric Boogaloo. Boston College at Michigan (7:30 ET) right into some Florida State at Ohio State action (9:30 ET) [ESPN2]
• Boxing. Bernard Hopkins vs. Enrique Ornelas. A decent light heavyweight bout, but a far more interesting matchup would have been Anthony Hopkins vs. Enrique Iglesias. Those two don’t like each other very much. Not sure why, though. [Versus, 8:00 ET]
• Like a self-contained acid flashback. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. All of these old-school Christmas specials creep me out. Oh shit. I’m already starting to see trails just thinking about the damn show. [CBS, 8:00 ET]
