Archive for December, 2009
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 8th)
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• Marines are killing each other over Big 12 football. [Busted Coverage]
• Chad Ochocinco is really on top of his game. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Peter Gammons is leaving ESPN. The photo of Gammons that Punte found alone is worth clicking over. [With Leather]
• The Redskins finally cut that shitty kicker. [Mr. Irrelevant]
• This is from yesterday, but Peter King haterade is always a good thing. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• A breakdown of the Yankees/Tigers/Diamondbacks megatrade that went down earlier today. [Big League Stew]
To avoid any conflicts with their football team’s participation in the National Championship game on January 7th, the University of Alabama has canceled all classes for January 6th through January 8th.
The school said Tuesday that students will have to make up for the lost class time. They have two days of classes upon returning from the Christmas break before getting another respite.
Alabama cited the number of students who have to be in Pasadena, Calif., and those students and staff who want to attend the game.
Makes sense. To be honest, I was planning to use this news story as a way to make fun of how low a priority academics are at a school like the University of Alabama, but I did some checking, and surprisingly, according to U.S News & World Report, the University of Alabama is tied for 43rd in its 2010 rankings of best public universities. You learn something new every day.
Despite this little factoid, I will still maintain that people who live in Alabama are all big dummies. I read it on the internet, so you know it’s true.
‘Bama calls off classes from Jan. 6-8 for title game [CBS Sports]
Every once in a while, you read a story about a marathon runner, exactly like the pour soul depicted in the above photo, who experiences the unfortunate experience of losing control of his or her bowels during a race. I suspect for one particular marathoner, pooping himself would be a welcome experience.
That particular marathoner would be Gene Brock, an 81-year-old running enthusiast from Arlington, Texas. Brock, after some technical difficulties due to having to register for the race online (no good, gosh-darned computers, daggummit!) is planning to run in the White Rock Marathon in Dallas for the 40th time, which will make him the oldest person ever to run in the race.
“It’s a dubious honor,” said Brock, who turns 82 on Dec. 18. “It’s a challenge. Since I find myself the oldest one, I wonder: ‘How long can I keep this up?’ It’s a mental goal. It’s a macho thing.”
Macho? Somewhat, although Jack LaLanne is pretty confident that he could kick this guy’s ass.
How about kooky? Even his wife of 42 years, Edna, is not pleased with the fact that he won’t settle down a bit and instead of running in marathons, choose a pastime that befits his 80+ years on the planet – like unwittingly making racist statements in front of children, for instance.
“Of course, I’ve discouraged this,” she said of his endurance running. “It hasn’t done me any good. I worry about him. I have all these years.”
It hasn’t done Edna any good? I find that hard to believe. How about the fact that his training probably keeps him out of the house a good chunk of the day? From the time he wakes up at 3:00 in the morning until the time he retires to bed at 4:30 in the afternoon, I willing to bet much of that time is spent running in preparation for the marathon.
So, here’s to one Gene Brock. Another man more than twice my age that makes me look like a lazy, out-of-shape piece of shit. Thanks, Old Man River.
For octogenarian runner, White Rock Marathon is ‘a macho thing’ [Dallas Morning News]
Get Well Soon, Bryant Gumbel
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Accomplished and well-respected Bryant Gumbel announced today during his guest-hosting gig on Regis & Kelly that he recently had lung cancer surgery two months ago where he had a malignant tumor removed.
Gumbel says he had preferred to keep his condition private and only told Ripa backstage to explain why he couldn’t dance with her during a segment on the show.
Gumbel, 61, says he’s meeting with his surgeon and oncologist next week and hopes to be cleared to play golf soon.
Mmm…hmm…mmm…mmmhmmm.
(takes pen out of mouth)
Mmm…hmm…mmm…mmmhmmm…
In all seriousness, here’s to a speedy recovery. Despite his somewhat smug demeanor, I am hard-pressed to find a single bad thing to say about the guy.
Broadcaster B. Gumbel recovering from October surgery for lung cancer [CBS Sports]
• I cannot believe it took this long. [Busted Coverage]
• You have probably seen this elsewhere, but here’s that photo of a blonde woman chasing after a tiger with a golf club at the Jacksonville Jaguars game. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Surprisingly, former NBA player Luc Longley has money to burn if this eBay auction is any indication. [Last Angry Fan]
• Your Week 13 QB Power Rankings, courtesy of MJD. [Shutdown Corner]
• Even the beat writers for NHL teams are cracking Tiger Woods jokes. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Phenomenal job done by Wysh as he lists the 10 biggest NHL goon moments of the last decade. [Puck Daddy]
And why would it?
A Wisconsin appeals court has upheld a lower court’s ruling that a woman suspected of stalking of Milwaukee Brewers announcer Bob Uecker is still not permitted to attend Major League Baseball games that Uecker is covering, which I guess would be all games played involving the Milwaukee Brewers. Counsel for the stalker argued it was a violation of her Constitutional rights, but to no avail.
A court commissioner issued the four-year injunction against Ann Ladd of Prospect Heights, Ill., after Ueker, the Milwaukee Brewers play-by-play radio man, complained that the woman harassed and stalked him for years.
Uecker said Ladd approached him after games he worked, hiding and then jumping out unexpectedly to talk to him. She once followed him to a road series between the Brewers and Pittsburgh Pirates, staying on the same floor of his hotel and finding him at the pool.
Man, how low down on the worthy-of-stalking totem pole is Bob Uecker? Even I have to reluctantly admit to being a huge fan of his Miller Lite commercials from way back when, but there has got to be better stalking alternatives. Was Chip Caray too famous or something? I don’t know, maybe this Ladd broad was a huge Mr. Belvedere fan or something, but then again, who isn’t, right?
And if I have learned anything, it’s that if one woman finds a man stalker-worthy, there are sure to be many others. But let this ruling be a lesson to any potential Bob Uecker-obsessed women of Middle America: nobody said it was going to be easy.
Court: Uecker’s stalker still can’t attend games [USA Today/AP]
Mark Cuban Goes All Out On WWE Raw
Posted by:As you may recall, the Sportress had news last week regarding Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban’s upcoming appearance on WWE Raw. Well, said appearance occurred last night and it ended excellently, culminating with some wrestler guy slamming Cuban through a table.
Cuban was moderating a debate between WWE champion John Cena and challenger Sheamus when things got a little physical. Cuban tried to separate the two, and got shoved to the mat by Sheamus.
An irate Cuban then got up and got in Sheamus’ face, shoving the WWE superstar down.
I have never claimed to be a great professional wrestling mind – even if I was, I probably wouldn’t admit to it – but that was pretty cool. I believe more owners of professional teams should make appearances on wrestling shows. If I could, I would nominate Al Davis as the next guest host.
Every NBA ref’s dream comes true: Mark Cuban gets put through a table on WWE Monday Night Raw [L.A. Fabulous Forum]
Who Wouldn’t Go See ‘John Daly: The Movie’?
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Coming soon to a multiplex near you: a movie biopic about the life, loves and losses of one John Daly, who has turned failure, setbacks and redemption into an art form. Daly announced his intentions to write a book – on which the movie would be based – and the subsequent big screen adaptation that would detail the ups and downs of everyone’s favorite PGA loser before a practice round for an event on the Australian PGA tour.
Daly has nominated – who else? – The King of Queens star Kevin James to portray him in his huskier days, but would like to see Matt Damon (?) play the leaner, in-shape version of himself.
“I just saw Matt Damon, how he swung a golf club, and I thought if I ever made a movie, I want him to be me,” Daly said. “The tough part is who would play me at 290 pounds. Now Kevin James, he’s my bud, but he’d be good.”
Daly, continuing his thoughts on how the movie could take shape, was concerned about one aspect of the casting for the film:
“The problem is who is going to play all the ex-wives?” added Daly, who has four ex-wives, to laughter.
Touche, Mr. Daly. Touche.
Daly’s troublesome life has “Hollywood” written all over it – producers gush over stories like Daly’s - so we shouldn’t be surprised if this idea actually takes flight. The only thing that could derail it from being the Feel Good Hit of the Summer is Daly writing the source material. I simply do not see him as the literary type. Perhaps he could find someone to ghost write it for him, because I don’t see a publishing house taking a manuscript seriously that has buffalo wing sauce smeared all over it.
One question remains: who would direct it? Personally, I see the source material being a perfect fit for someone with a steady and gifted directing hand like Clint Eastwood. Or possibly the Farrelly brothers.
Prepare for a new John Daly book, then the movie? [Sporting News/AP]
• NFL. Green Bay Packers 27, Baltimore Ravens 14. Aaron Rodgers threw three for touchdowns as the Packers won their fourth consecutive game. The teams combined for 310 penalty yards, the second most in NFL history. [Yahoo!/AP]
• NHL. New Jersey Devils 3, Buffalo Sabres 0. Martin Brodeur made 22 saves for his 103rd shutout, tying Terry Sawchuk’s NHL record. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. Denver Nuggets 93, Philadelphia 76ers 83. Chauncey Billups scored 31 points and Carmelo Anthony added 14 in Allen Iverson’s first game with Philadelphia. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• At this price, this batch of Wisconsin cheddar better catch you a buzz or something. Hook’s Sharp Cheddar, a 15-year-old cheese produced in 1994 and considered to be the oldest cheese for sale in the country, is being sold at $50/pound. I bet it’s stinky. [MSNBC/AP]
What we have here is a badass brawl between Vancouver Canucks defenseman Kevin Bieksa and Philadelphia Flyers center Mike Richards during last night’s 3-0 shutout victory by the Canucks. I particularly appreciate how both Bieksa and Richards must have thrown their helmets off as well as their gloves. Most of the time in an NHL fight, punches are landing squarely on the back of the helmet and what fun is that?
Over at Puck Daddy, Wysh discusses how Bieksa threw a “superman punch,” which is apparently some sort of MMA-style move. All I know is it was one of the better fights, as far as punches landed are concerned, I’ve seen all season.
So kudos to you, Mr. Bieksa and Mr. Richards, on fight well done. It’s a shame these two teams don’t face each other again this season.
Video: Bieksa’s superman punch on Richards adds to misery [Puck Daddy]
• NBA Basketball Doubleheader. We start off the night with a little Chicago Bulls at Cleveland Cavaliers action and finish with Miami Heat at Los Angeles Lakers. Super. [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
• College Football. MAC Championship: Central Michigan vs. Ohio. The last MAC championship I was involved in, I ate three. That’s not very good. [ESPN2, 8:00 ET]
• NHL Hockey. Montreal Canadiens at Boston Bruins. Ah yes, an Original Six matchup. Seriously, check and see if you have the NHL Network – you might be surprised. I sure was. [NHL Network, 8:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. War of the Worlds. Pretty good flick, except for the fact that Tom Cruise is in it. I would have preferred Orson Welles’ rotting corpse in the role. Sure, it would raise some questions, but you have to admit the movie would have been more enjoyable. [TNT, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 4th)
Posted by:• U.S. speedskater calls benefactor Stephen Colbert a jerk. [With Leather]
• All aboard of the New Orleans Saints bandwagon. [The Sporting Blog]
• It always is, but today’s Chick-A-Click is particularly sexy. [Busted Coverage]
• The Utah Jazz be rocking some green throwback uniforms tonight. [Ball Don't Lie]
• Here’s a look at the draw for the United States in the World Cup. [Mouthpiece Blog]
• Hex brings us another entertaining edition of “What Are You Thinking?” [Melt Your Face Off]
Buffalo, Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto, Detroit…Los Angeles?
Joining the above cities that have previously received such an honor, it has been announced that L.A. will host its first NHL entry draft when it is held June 25th and 26th at the Staples Center.
Round 1 will be broadcast live on June 25 by Versus, as well as NHL Radio, beginning at 7 p.m. EDT. The NHL Network will carry rounds 2-7 beginning at 1 p.m. on June 26.
The draft has rotated between different cities for more than 20 years. It was held at the Bell Centre in Montreal last June.
To be fair, the Los Angeles Kings have been in existence since 1967, five years before the Calgary Flames began playing – and they were in Atlanta then. And the Kings have had some great years, including this season, where they have started off 17-10-2 and only trail the Sharks by 7 points in the Pacific Division. I only mean to imply that there are far more deserving cities before Los Angeles should get their turn. St. Paul comes to mind. Philadelphia hasn’t even held an entry draft yet. Because let’s be honest, half the residents of Los Angeles probably think Wayne Gretzky still plays for the Kings, let alone if they are even aware the Kings play in L.A.
Another bold move by the best Commissioner in sports, Gary Bettman. I heard next year he’s going to try to hold it in Mexico City. ¡Ay, ay, ay, no es bueno!
NHL to hold 2010 draft in Los Angeles [NHL.com/AP]
U.S. Curling Team To Begin Selling Condoms
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With the anticipation of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver beginning to heat up – the opening ceremony will take place on February 12th – the United States curling team, in partnership with longtime sponsor Kodak Technology Group, are seizing the day in an effort to promote what you could nicely call a fringe sport. Attempting to take advantage of the time when people just might pay the tiniest bit of attention to their sport, they are going to try raise interest even higher – and promote AIDS prevention awareness at the same time – by selling condoms.
“The platform that USA Curling can leverage is the Olympic exposure and excitement around the Olympics,” said Rick Patzke, USA Curling’s chief operating officer. “I’m sure it’ll bring more fodder for talk shows and things like that. But it will bring attention to the central message, which is safety and education and awareness for safer sex and HIV prevention.”
Awesome. As you can see above, the mascot for the fledgling condom endeavor is a curling stone. They are calling them Hurry Hard Condoms, “hurry hard” being a curling term that the “skip” which means the player who calls the shots, yells at his teammates to inform them to sweep harder and faster.
As you can plainly see by its overly-simplistic design, the official site of Hurry Hard Condoms is in its infancy. Hopefully, the designers of the site will jazz it up a bit in the coming months. You know, so it doesn’t look like a Word document.
Nevertheless, you have to give them credit. Sure, curling is very popular in Canada, but you will not find many people here in the Lower 48 who could tell you the first thing about the sport of curling, so promoting the sport with a great marketing gimmick is a great idea. The fact that they are also using the opportunity to promote a worthwhile cause only increases the overall appeal of Hurry Hard Condoms.
Heh. Hurry hard. If I had a nickel…
No, I don’t know what that means, either.
Curlers hope condom sales get attention [Yahoo!/AP]
I am thrilled to introduce (via the always-excellent Epic Carnival) the very beautiful, and once you learn more about her, incredibly intimidating Sarah Ponce, who along with being the 2003 UjENA Model of the Year is also a professional kickboxer, sporting a 12-1 record. Ponce also competed in the 2008 Beijing Olympics Women’s Wushu tournament.
Nicknamed “Sugar Foot,” the 33-year-old Ponce previously competed in something called the World Combat League and rumor has it she may join the MMA ranks next year with Strikeforce. I know very little about women’s MMA and how the weight classes and things like that break down, but if everything worked out – and I hope it would – we could possibly one day see a very sexy matchup between Miss Ponce and one Miss Gina Carano.
Of course, I have prepared a photo gallery for you below.
