Archive for December, 2009
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 14th)
Posted by:
• North Carolina Tar Heels head coach Roy Williams is a jagoff. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Former Major Leaguer Rick Dempsey has a new Christmas CD out and boy, does it look awkward. [Big League Stew]
• Female Missourri basketball players are badass. I am using the term “female” lightly. [Busted Coverage]
• Swedish referee performs CPR on the ice during a hockey game, saves player’s life. [Puck Daddy]
• Canadians are pretty pumped up about the World Junior Hockey Championships practice schedule, because, well, they’re Canadians. [Food Court Lunch]
• Time to recap the weekend, NHL-style. [Melt Your Face Off]
Fresh off another loss, this time being a 26-3 pasting by the New York Jets, it is safe to say that at 1-12, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are on their way to one of the worst seasons in their history, which is saying something considering the Bucs lost the first 26 games in the franchise’s history.
It’s not that I don’t pity him for having to suffer the indignity of being forced to watch and cover the gigantic pile of suck that is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers – according to Yahoo!, the top offensive performer for the Bucs was Kellen Winslow with 4 catches for 26 yards – but methinks Tampa Tribune columnist Martin Fennelly might have just gone off the deep end.
In his column published today, “Can’t bear to watch the Bucs’ final games? Just fill in the blanks,” Fennelly has essentially given up, and apparently he believes that fans shouldn’t be forced to suffer like he has to. After all, he does get paid while the fan is supposedly watching the Bucs games for enjoyment.
Yes, I am aware that this is the second screencap post of the day. It’s a slow news day. Sue me.
Somebody at least tangentially related to sports other than Tiger Woods do something newsworthy, dammit!
For the first time in year’s, there’s drama in the A.L. West [Sporting News]
• Be sure to stop on over at MYFO, as they have joined the Bloguin network of blogs. They’re all growns up and they’re all growns up! [Melt Your Face Off]
• Editor Emeritus Will Leitch recaps the year that was 2006. [Deadspin]
• One Chicago-based blogger comes to terms with his Bears team. [Mouthpiece Blog]
• The five most valuable players from yesterday’s NFL action. [Shutdown Corner]
• OMG! Elin was out in pubic without her wedding ring! [Out of Bounds]
• All of the violence in hockey? Don Cherry’s fault, of course. [Awful Announcing]
• Did Randy Moss quit on the Patriots yesterday? Speaking from experience, I would guess he did. [Larry Brown Sports]
Phil Knight, the co-founder and chairman of Nike, sat down recently with Sports Business Journal’s oddly-named Tripp Mickle prior to being honored as a National Football Foundation’s 2009 Gold Medal recipient in New York. The interview was about the sports marketing business in general, but Knight did have one interesting answer in response to a question regarding Tiger Woods, because hey, why wouldn’t an interviewer ask a person about their thoughts on Tiger Woods? I believe media types are now required by law to ask everyone they interview about the Tiger Woods situation.
SBJ: With Tiger, a person who was believed to be of more upstanding character beforehand, is it possible to check for everything?
Knight: Obviously, he was one we checked out and he came out clean, and I think he’s been really great. When his career is over, you’ll look back on these indiscretions as a minor blip, but the media is making a big deal out of it right now.
Minor blip, eh? Boy, if that’s the case, I don’t even want to know what Knight would consider a “major blip.” Maybe releasing a nerve toxin into the world’s water supply? Oh, I know what it would be: anthrax. That seems to be right up Tiger’s alley. Of course, Tiger would blame it on Tripp Mickle. And with a name like that, who wouldn’t believe him?
Nike’s Phil Knight tells SBJ: Tiger’s indiscretions just ‘minor blip’ [Sporting News]
And what better way to illustrate awkward hilarity than with an animated gif? Phenomenal work done here by some fellow named Johnny Nas (via The700Level).
No announcement has been made by Eagles officials as of yet, but word on the street is DeSean Jackson is out 3-4 weeks with fractured ribs. Can you imagine the force of impact when you collide mid-air with someone as portly as Andy Reid? I bet when Reid hit the ground, every car alarm within a 10 block radius of the Meadowlands went off.
Nevertheless, you like to see that sort of enthusiasm from an NFL coach. They are usually so stuffy, standing there on the sidelines with their laminated cheat sheet looking all serious and stuff. The Eagles just finished putting up 45 points on the Giants in front of a national audience and securing a one-game lead in the NFC East, so why in the hell not?
I just feel bad for Jackson. That’s no way to treat a player who scored two touchdowns on a 72-yard punt return and a 60-yard reception. Get well soon, dude.
The Andy Reid-DeSean Jackson Mid-Air Bump Gif [The700Level]
Eagles soar to first place, beat Giants 45-38 [Yahoo!/AP]
Holy Christ on a cracker with a side of sweet sassy molassey! Ya think?
No shit, Sherlock.
The next thing you know, Reuters is going to inform us that smoking could impact your health and not wearing pants to interviews could impact your ability to get a job. Unless you are applying for a job as a pantsless butler, that is. Worst part-time job ever.
Tiger Woods’ break could impact golf ratings [Reuters]
• NFL. Philadelphia Eagles 45, New York Giants 38. The Eagles improved to 9-4 and took a one-game lead over the Dallas Cowboys in the NFC East as DeSean Jackson scored on a 72-yard punt return and 60-yard reception. [Yahoo!/AP]
• NHL. Colorado Avalanche 3, Calgary Flames 2. Craig Anderson made 19 saves and Darcy Tucker scored his first goal in almost 2 months as Colorado regained first place in the Northwest Division. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. Cleveland Cavaliers 102, Oklahoma City Thunder 89. LeBron James scored a season-high 44 points as Cleveland won its second game in a row and seventh out if its last 10. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• You know, because the pills were poisonous and stuff. A 46-year-old man in Amsterdam felt he had no other choice but to report a theft of over 2,400 Ecstasy pills he has collected over the years as a “hobby” because some of them were poisonous. I wonder if his Good Samaritan act will help with any criminal charges. Wait, what am I talking about? This is Amsterdam. They have no rules over there, right? [MSNBC/AP]
If the above submission is any indication, it would be wise of you to make sure you keep on checking Puck Daddy for updates on their most recent photoshop contest. Who knew Joe Thornton was such a big fan of wooly mammoths?
A previous Puck Daddy contest, “Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism” had some absolutely fantastic submissions, so I expect the same from this one.
And if any of you wisenheimers out there have any photoshop (or MS Paint) ability, you might as well submit one yourself. Details can be found here. Submissions are due by Wednesday, December 23rd at noon eastern. You have your assignment.
Have a great weekend.
Contest Reminder: Winter Classic Create-a-Parade-Float [Puck Daddy]
• NBA Basketball Doubleheader. Yawn. Portland Trail Blazers at Cleveland Cavaliers (8:00 ET), with the nightcap being a tilt between the Orlando Magic and Phoenix Suns (10:30 ET). Watch with the sound down and some good tunes playing. [ESPN]
• College Football. William & Mary at Villanova. Ah yes. William & Mary – the alma mater of Darren Sharper and Mike Tomlin. [ESPN2, 8:00 ET]
• I’m not quite sure why this is on History, but what the hell. Animal House: The Inside Story. “Celebrating the 30th anniversary of the movie that celebrated youthful rebellion, college fraternities gone amok, and food fights; interviews with the movie’s cast and creators.” So there you go. I wasn’t the hugest fan of the flick, but I understand its importance. I still won’t be watching, but I thought I’d give you guys the heads up. [History, 10:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. Deck the Halls. Let’s see here. It stars Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito. Nope. Forget it. Even I am not going to act like this movie should be watched by anyone. Watch something else. Porn, maybe. [FX, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (December 11th)
Posted by:• Holy crap! MYFO is moving! Best of luck, guys. [Melt Your Face Off]
• GAH! Brett Favre’s nephew just quarterbacked his team to the state championship. [Joe Sports Fan]
• Welcome, Dick Enberg, to San Diego Padres baseball. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Billy Dee Williams is now pimping Tiger Woods Mistresses Commemorative Plates? What the fungus? [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
• Derek Jeter got some girl from a restaurant that he ordered food from fired. [Bugs & Cranks]
• University of Wisconsin students participate in an epic 3,000 person snowball fight. [Guyism]
I have done this previously with Whitlock columns but haven’t in quite a while, but after reading his column published Thursday, “Here’s the truth behind the Tiger Woods scandal,” I thought now was as good a time to bring it back as ever.
You would have to be pretty gullible to believe that this wasn’t one of Whitlock’s patented “Let’s throw a bunch of shit against a wall, see what sticks, whip everyone up into a frenzy and then gleefully relish in how everybody has a complete and total meltdown about it” routines.
Therefore, instead of me gnashing my teeth and playing right into Whitlock’s portly hands, let’s just FJM this bad boy, how does that sound?
Not that you needed them before, but I digress. The Cherokee Nation has purchased the Blue Ribbon Downs horse racing track in Salisaw, Oklahoma. The track was closed two weeks ago by the previous owner.
The Cherokee Nation announced its purchase in a Thursday news release, but didn’t disclose the sale price or say whether the track would reopen. The Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma had owned the track since 2003.
The Cherokee Nation says it has no immediate plans for the property. The tribe also owns Will Rogers Downs in Claremore.
Yeah, I know – this isn’t particularly interesting let alone sports-related. But how else was I going to use that reservations line in the title? Let alone embed “Indian Reservation (The Lament of the Cherokee Reservation Indian)” by Paul Revere & The Raiders?
Accomplishing both of those things otherwise would have been pretty tricky. Now I can scratch two more items off my Sports Blogging Bucket List. Life really is about setting goals and accomplishing them, wouldn’t you agree? Now who else wants a refreshing and tasty bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon? Okay, how about just a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon instead? Still no?
Cherokees buy Blue Ribbon Downs racetrack in Okla. [The Associated Press]
• Oooh, baby. [Waggle Room]
• Gourmet Spud keeps us updated on what is going on with our favorite 1980s sitcom stars. [Food Court Lunch]
• Carrie Underwood denies that her song “Cowboy Cassanova” is about Tony Romo. She’s purty. [Shutdown Corner]
• One Steelers fan breaks down last night’s horrible loss to the Browns. [P.S.A.M.P.]
• It’s time once again for FOOTBALLDAY! Check out Samer’s picks and observations about the upcoming weekend of NFL action. [Second-String Fullback]
• An interesting review regarding that Miami University documentary on ESPN. [FirstCuts]
• Anna Kournikova looks good. [Epic Carnival]
For all the guys out there still trying to figure out what to give that special lady in your life for Christmas – and no, I’m not talking about your mom. I’m referring to that hooker who doesn’t mind when you weep uncontrollably after sex. Sissy.
Now where was I before I began mocking your inability to find a women to sleep with you without having to pay her first? Oh yeah, Christmas. Well, if you’re looking for something new, something unique, do I have a lifesaver for you:
Annika: The Fragrance. That’s right, Annika Sorenstam has her own perfume.
Surprisingly, the fragrance contains “rich aromas of amber, vanilla, white flowers and fresh citrus,” not sickening odors of wet socks you accidentally left in your trunk for a week after Saturday’s rainy round.
Buyer beware, though: not only is it a bit spendy ($59.50 for a 1.7 oz. bottle! Wha?), it is possible that your wife or girlfriend will now be able to out-drive you while wearing this perfume – if she isn’t able to already, Nancy Boy.
* H/T George Carlin
Annika and “Annika” [Golf Babes]
