Archive for November, 2009
Of all the horrible things the super for a building could do (i.e. evict a person with barely a moment’s notice, not get someone to fix the leaky faucet in a person’s apartment, expose himself to somebody’s daughter in the stairwell), this certainly takes the cake.
The victims of this atrocity – a hate crime, if you will – are the Rocco family from the Clinton Hill neighborhood in Brooklyn. You see, the family of four die-hard Yankees fans carved the Yankees logo and the year 2009 into a pumpkin for Halloween festivities, and it sat on their stoop for a week. Lo and behold, on Tuesday, the Jack-o’-lantern was gone!
Who ya gonna call? Pedro Martinez?
Clearly, the headline writer of the AP story had Ghostbusters on the brain or he is a huge fan of R&B funkmaster Ray Parker, Jr. Although I guess if he was simply a fan of Parker, Jr., he could have went with one of his lesser-known tunes, like 1983′s “Bad Boy.” Perhaps I’m putting too much thought into this already.
Anyhoo, Pedro Martinez ain’t afraid of no ghosts, whether they be in Yankee Stadium, the New York Public Library or 55 Central Park West. Does that make Andy Pettitte the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? Or, if he’s the Ray Parker, Jr. of baseball, maybe that means Pettitte is El DeBarge? Damn, I’m confused.
Pedro’s back! And he ain’t afraid of no ghosts [Yahoo!/AP]
• NHL. Detroit Red Wings 2, Boston Bruins 0. Henrik Zetterberg and Tomas Holstrom each scored and Chris Osgood got his first shutout of the season, making 29 saves. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. Dallas Mavericks 96, Utah Jazz 85. Dirk Nowitzki scored 29 of his 40 points in the 4th quarter as Dallas outscored Utah 44-18 in the final quarter. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• NFL. Redskins owner Dan Snyder said in an interview that he feels bad for the Redskins fans and that the team has “let everyone down.” I’m sure that makes ‘Skins fans feel so much better. [The Washington Post]
• Awesome. Evelyn Border, 51, and her daugther, Tina Griekspoor, 35, of Pennsylvania, avoided jail time for stealing a nine-year-old’s gift card on her birthday by being forced to sit outside a courthouse with a sign explaining what they did. Here’s a photo:
Heh. Like I said, awesome. [MSNBC/AP]
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but while you were wasting your life away doing God knows what, you missed the October 20th deadline to submit your answers for The Birmingham News’ Miley Cyrus Quiz. The winner, who would have displayed “his or her mastery of Miley trivia” was set to receive a Miley Cyrus gift pack and I have a feeling one of you Last Callers would have certainly been the person to demonstrate their vast wealth of knowledge considering all things about America’s Teen Princess.
The quiz, and the usual shit, after the jump.
• NHL Hockey. Boston Bruins at Detroit Red Wings. Holy crap! A nationally-televised game between two Eastern Conference teams? Yeah, you have to watch hockey to get that one. And yeah, it still wouldn’t be funny. [Versus, 7:00 ET]
• College Football. Bowling Green at Buffalo. This matchup makes we wonder why a school never went with the name Curling Brown. It would probably be in Canada. [ESPN2, 7:00 ET]
• Sportsumentary. 30 for 30: Without Bias. “Filmmaker Kirk Fraser uses interviews with teammates, family and friends of Len Bias in an effort to determine what happened on the night Bias died.” I wonder how many people will be doing coke while watching this show. [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
• Overhyped Remake of a Series From The 1980s! V (pilot). See, I am old enough to remember when the original V was on. Not that this has anything to do with the hot alien lady they keep showing on the previews. So yeah, I’ll probably watch it. [ABC, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (November 3rd)
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• Week 8′s edition of LOLNFL. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• It’s time to end gay slurs in hockey. Huh. I didn’t even know it was a problem. [Puck Daddy]
• Stephen Colbert is sponsoring U.S. Speedskating. [With Leather]
• Be sure to check out the 2009 San Diego Cheerleaders in their Halloween costumes. [Busted Coverage]
• Detailing a potentially sexy soccer riot. [Bootlegger Sports]
I Hear Dubya Is Huge In Japan
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Former President George W. Bush threw out the ceremonial first pitch before the Yomiuri Giants and Nippon Ham Fighters took the field for Game 3 of the Japan Series.
Conservative estimates place the pitch at approximately 50 mph, but what I want to know is if the pitch was wide right of the strike zone.
/weaksauce
The pitch went off with out a hitch (did it take place in a ditch?) – actually, Bush’s pitch bounced once before it was caught by Giants catcher Shinnosuke Abe – which you have to say is a far better performance than one of his old man’s trips to Japan - although there were protesters outside the stadium.
Dozens of demonstrators marched outside the stadium protesting the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq that were launched by the Bush administration. They carried signs saying, “Arrest Bush,” “The King of War,” and “Bush Go to Jail.”
One demonstrator threw his shoes at a photo of the former president, mimicking Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi, who launched his own footwear at Bush at a Baghdad news conference in December.
Ah yes. The shoe-throwing. Always a good one. But I particularly enjoy the fact that there was a sign that read “Bush Go to Jail,” simply because it makes me think of Dubya playing Jim Varney’s role in Ernest Goes to Jail. What do you mean? It’s a compliment. That Varney guy could act.
And is it just me, or does the guy standing to the left of Bush look like how Richard Gere would appear if he were Japanese? Hide the gerbils! Super terrific happy played-out Richard Gere joke time!
George W. Bush throws out first pitch in Japan [Associated Press]
• Video of a Philly fan fighting a New York fan before one of the World Series games at Yankees Stadium last week. Enjoy. [Busted Coverage]
• Which city’s fans are the worst, though? The Daily Show tries to figure it out. [Big League Stew]
• General Tao takes a trip to Indianapolis. [Food Court Lunch]
• Drew FJMs a Bill Simmons column. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Sean Avery doesn’t care what anybody says or writes – he ain’t apologizing for his “sloppy seconds” comments from last year. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Usain Bolt owns a cheetah. I can see that. [Bootlegger Sports]
I wonder if Jim Nantz will write “Hello, friend” in the memo of the check he will be writing to his ex-wife every month. My guess is it might involve a little saltier language than that.
As part of their divorce settlement, Jim Nantz has been ordered by a Connecticut judge to pay his ex-wife, Lorrie, nearly $1 million in alimony and child support for their 15-year-old daughter. The clincher? Nantz is required to pay his ex-wife $72,000 per month until she dies or remarries, so I imagine Mr. Nantz is all for Lorrie getting back in to the dating scene – pronto.
In addition, the judge required Nantz to turn over the couple’s six-bedroom home on Imperial Avenue in Westport to his ex-wife along with all the furnishings. She also will get the condominium on Terra Nova Circle in Westport occupied by her mother.
He retains the contract on a $1 million condo in Deer
Nantz must also pay $70,000 toward the country club membership of his wife’s choice.
The total alimony and support award of $916,000 a year is somewhat less than the more than $1.5 million Lorrie Nantz had been seeking in alimony and child support.
Doug Barron has been suspended one year by the PGA Tour for testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Pursuant to Tour policy, the drug Barron, 40, tested positive for was not made known. To make matters worse for Barron, his PED use didn’t even help him on the Tour – Barron only played in one PGA Tour event this year – the St. Jude Classic, where he missed the cut. In fact, Barron hasn’t even had a tour card in three years and most recently was competing on the Nationwide Tour.
Of course, Barron apologized for the distraction:
“I would like to apologize for any negative perception of the tour or its players resulting from my suspension,” Barron said in a statement released by the PGA Tour on Monday. “I want my fellow tour members and the fans to know that I did not intend to gain an unfair competitive advantage or enhance my performance while on tour.”
As you can see from the above photo taken at the Chrysler Championship in 2006 (he didn’t want his white shirt to get dirty), depending on your perspective, either Barron doesn’t appear to fit the mold of a PED user or he is exactly the type of person who would benefit from taking performance-enhancing drugs.
The next thing you know, John Daly will get suspended by the PGA, On second thought, that will only happen if Diet Coke and Marlboro Reds get added to the list of banned substances.
Doug Barron is 1st to violate PGA Tour drug policy [Associated Press]
Ladies & Gentlemen, Meet the Face of Doping in Golf [Waggle Room]
Barron goes shirtless on 16th hole [ESPN]
After becoming incredibly emotional, including open weeping, after his corner stopped his September 26th fight against Vitali Klitschko, Chris Arreola “worked blue” and swore during his post-fight interview. Now the boxer has been suspended for six months.
Tears flowed freely as he thanked the crowd and the boxer later relied on some industrial language to express his intent to hit back following the defeat.
World Boxing Council president Jose Sulaiman took a very dim view of the use of a swear word in Arreola’s post-fight interview, however, and on Tuesday proposed the 28-year-old be banned from competing for six months.
The WBC’s board of governors approved the sanction at the body’s annual convention in Jeju, South Korea.
Industrial language? That’s the first time I have ever heard swearing described that way. If someone were to ask me what I thought “industrial language” meant without the context of this story, I would have guessed it was a secret form of communication that Al Jourgensen, Trent Reznor and the guys from Skinny Puppy used to interact as they made plans for world domination. Did I mention I still think it’s 1995?
Heavyweight fighter banned for industrial language [Reuters]
• World Series. Philadelphia Phillies 8, New York Yankees 6. Chase Utley hit two home runs, his fourth and fifth of the World Series, as the Phillies offense pounded Yankees starter A.J. Burnett to force a Game 6 back in the Bronx. [MLB.com]
• NFL. New Orleans Saints 35, Atlanta Falcons 27. Drew Brees threw for 308 yards, Pierre Thomas scored two touchdowns and Jabari Greer returned an interception for a touchdown as the Saints improved to 7-0 on the season. [Yahoo!]
• NHL. Alexander Ovechkin is considered “week-to-week” due to an upper body injury suffered in Sunday’s game against Columbus. [The Associated Press]
• Big deal, Marlon Brando ate meatballs this size all the time. An Italian restaurant in Concord, New Hampshire now owns the world record for the largest meatball ever made. Nonni’s Italian Eatery made a 222.5 pound meatball, which was confirmed by the Guiness Book of World Records. Good for them. [MSNBC/AP]
Sorry, We Are Closed
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Sorry, folks. Old Weed is taking the day off. Call it a mental health day, too-busy-at-work-to-blog day or nursing-a-hangover-after-watching-a-kick-ass-Vikings-game day.
I guess you’ll just have to fend for yourselves. See you tomorrow.
