Last Call: Work Computers Meltdown Edition
By
Howdy, everyone. How ya doing? Me? Oh, great. Really, really great.
I have spent the last two days putting out fires here at my wonderful place of employment, specifically the shitastic computers we have. It’s been a real blast. And amazingly, the shitstorm isn’t even over with yet. With that, I have a few things I would like to get off my chest.
Fuck shitty antivirus programs. Fuck malware scans. Fuck System Restore. Fuck creating a new restore point. Fuck Safe Mode. Fuck starting in safe mode with command prompt. Fuck Windows Installer popping up for no goddamn reason whatsoever. Fuck redirecting malware. Fuck people who open up e-mails that have been quarantined. Fuck MSN games and people who believe that they need to have over 50 different games downloaded. Fuck not updating your java software. Fuck trojans. Fuck the fact that I know pretty much jack shit about computers yet I am the one who has to fix everyone else’s problems because I’m the only one who knows pretty much jack shit.
Ahhhhh. There. I feel so much better. Thanks. It’s nice to get that off my chest. With that accomplished, the only computing I plan on doing this evening is attempting to figure out how many ounces of vodka I need to ingest to reach a .20 BAC. Cheers!
Blogetizers
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Remembering the Red Letter Days of a Former Monsterman Running Back [Style Points]
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NSFWednesday! Returns to Wednesday [Melt Your Face Off]
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NFL Quick Hits [The Phoenix Pub]
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Ruined Sundays [Second-String Fullback]
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Is This the Future of Football? Part Three [Avoiding the Drop]
The Entree
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Kids in the Hall: “Sausages”
Sorbet
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2012‘s Beatrice Rosen
And for the ladies…
2001‘s HAL 9000! RAWR!
Alright, kids. Do what you do. And thanks for putting up with my rant.
HAHAHAAA! Okay, I did not expect that at all.
Weed… what are you doing, Weed?
@Chris Hanson’s Axe, He’s trying to get the files from the computer.
/Zoolander’ed
[img]http://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/how_grandma_sees_the_remote.jpg[/img]
@semper_ubi_sub_ubi, Oh, that’s awesome.
@Chris Hanson’s Axe, Or,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj8xB8jKG94
@Chris Hanson’s Axe, Those puppies is dope.
Oh that’s a very pretty lady. I have chili and fries!
Did anyone here get the day off?
@ailanthus altissima, Why would anyone get the day off? This is Uhmericka. We work ourselves to an early grave.
@Sculptor?!?, My campus was empty today. I still had class and work, but it looked like the undergrads were given a break to “enjoy life.”
Yeah, it’s a foreign concept to me, too
@ailanthus altissima, Oh dear lord. I did not intend for that terrifying smilie to show up.
@ailanthus altissima, Yeah, they do that. Sometimes I forget they get converted on many sites. Eep!
@ailanthus altissima, As far as I can tell, government workers are the only ones who get Veterans Day off.
Why? It’s not like they work when they show up at their place of employment anyway.
@Quake n Shake, I’m a government employee and I wish your statement were true about me.
@Quake n Shake, I intern for the gov’t and i’m pretty sure everyone got off today. I only work Thursday and Friday so it didn’t affect me.
@ailanthus altissima, Both my classes canceled, one was months ago because of a conference and my night class professor was sick. I also got to interview Ashton Gibbs today. Great Day.
On the topic of shitty movies worth watching.
Death Race.
I don’t know why. I don’t like cars. It just is.
@semper_ubi_sub_ubi, Oh, I LOVE the original version.
Machine Gun Joe splatters the scoreboard FIRST!
@Sculptor?!?, I haven’t seen it. The new one was on The Movie Network, and my brother and I watched it about three times in a week. Of course, that could just be because it was better than the alternatives.
@semper_ubi_sub_ubi, Oh, I thought that was something Homer Simpson made up. It’s real?
@ailanthus altissima, Yes! 1975. Starring Sylvester Stallone as Machine Gun Joe and David Carradine as Frankenstein. Fucking awful, but awesome.
@ailanthus altissima, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452608/
@semper_ubi_sub_ubi,@Sculptor?!? If it has cars, explosions, and general awful-but-awesomeness, I’m in.
@ailanthus altissima, seriously. the euthanasia day scene is tops. old folks in wheelchairs out in the driveway/parking lot to get run down. hysterical.
@ailanthus altissima, It may well have been made up by Homer Simpson too. This version is also fucking awful, but awesome.
Evening, kids.
@2 Yellows, hey babe! did you see my SW geek link last night?
@Sculptor?!?, I’ll have to go back and take a peek, I love Star Wars geekery.
@2 Yellows, trust in the force. you won’t be disappointed. but put your drink down first.
The person behind twitter’s Real_Mike_Tyson has to be on some kind of speed.
@monchhichi, Overpants? Oh, please tell me they’re Overoos…
@Sculptor?!?, of course! we’re all genteel here.
Toledo visiting Central Michigan on the Deuce, if anyone is looking for foobaw.
@2 Yellows, so what did you think?
@Sculptor?!?, Sorry, I’ll check later, I’m in the midst of writing something, and I just found out next week’s go-live has been postponed a week. Which means we go-live the week of fucking Thanksgiving. FML
I need a fucking drink.
@2 Yellows, Oh, you poor thing.
I am now completely convinced that the world is coming to an end. I am listening to Pandora, and there is an ad for Wendy’s, part of the ad is come follow us on twitter. What the fuck does Wendy’s need to twitter? Un-fucking believable. No scratch that, it is very believable. I can see it now, a fat sack of shit in their tweeting the local Wendy’s. “Hey on my way, I would like 2 triple heart attack burgers, a super huge fry, and 2 frosties.” God help us all
@dave, hahahaa, that’s so awesome. but sad.
@Sculptor?!?, Maybe Ronald can get his own twitter. Oh Style Points, I have your next fake twitter. The_real_Ronald_Mcdondald. That should fuck up some kids.
@dave, and I promise that if there was ever a twitter like that, Ron Artest would follow that shit and comment about it. I can the tweet war now between him and Ronald. If I could set up a twitter and use it from work I would do it, just to see what happens.
@dave, seems I was wrong, I can use twitter from work.
@dave, That is pretty sad…though, I’m going to notify Real_Mike_Tyson of this development.
http://twitter.com/therealwendys
@dave, What better way to promote things you’re already promoting than twitter.
I think Bill Simmons was right soon EVERYTHINGS going to be sponsored. At the Rutgers game each 1st down was sponsored.
Good evening folks. In for a few, because I think I can go to bed early.
If anyone want to laugh shitless, read DeJuan Blair’s twitter. I now understand why we have twitter.
@RATL, Tag or link? you know, for those of us too lazy to do it?
http://twitter.com/DeJuan45
1st 2
Oh, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE someone tweet as the burger clown. That would be beyond the realm of awesome.
@Sculptor?!?, I have made it so.
@dave, You ROCK.
@Sculptor?!?, Indeed
@Sculptor?!?, I am still trying to learn Twitter so be patient. I will try to get better at it.
@dave, That’s a pretty fantastic idea.
@monchhichi, I am getting lessons from Sculpt.
I cannot believe none of the Magic players have punched Stan Van in the face.
Well… I’m as caught up on today’s readings as I’ll get.
Have a good night folks, catch most of you I’m sure at some point tomorrow.
Did everyone leave?
@dave, no, just sorta quiet today, i think.
@Sculptor?!?, Then I should fire up the old Karaoke machine and start belting some tunes, to get everyone back.
@dave, please God no. Not that I have anything against you personally. Just a dark loathing hatred for the K word.
@dave, oh, gods no. karaoke is a pestilence upon this planet.
@Sculptor?!?, See, all I had to do was mention it and people came a running.
@dave, Have you got Freebird on that thing?
IF I LEAVE HERE TOMOOORRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
WILL YOU STILL REMEMBE-ER MEEEEEEEEEEEE
Goodnight. Work is done, so am I.