Archive for October, 2009
Frank Deford, writer for Sports Illustrated, commentator on NPR and frequent contributor to Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, picked up his pen – I imagine that Deford still writes out all of his columns in longhand and forces an intern to type them – and wrote an ode to Alex Rodriguez on the eve of the suddenly-everybody-in-New-York-loves-him (imagine that) Yankees slugger’s first appearance in the World Series. A sampling:
And then, of course, October — A-Rod’s month that had lived in infamy. Had any great player’s name in any sport ever so pitilessly been paired with the word “choke” in a succession of offseasons? But in his third at bat in this October’s first postseason game, he drove in a run and drove away the boos, and he was off on a tear all the way to the World Series. By the end, Sunday night, when New York finished off the Angels, it was A-Rod that the Yankees surrounded. It was hard to believe he was the same person who started the season. He was a team-mate.
To be sure, it is top-notch passage written by one of the more well-respected and admired journalists to ever write about sports. But it lacked passion, intensity, lust. When I saw that he was writing about A-Rod, I was hoping he would try to match his sexually-evocative, erotic prose he displayed when he recounted his love for women’s grunting during tennis (seriously, click through, it’s worth it).
I must come clean with you guys. The only reason I published this was so I could link back to my earlier post about Deford’s women’s tennis column and upload that atrocious photo of him. Mea culpa, everyone.
But you know, considering the two things I set out to do, I would call this post a success, which is nice when you think about it.
No one else quite like A-Rod [SI]
• You know, by someone paying them to be around him. Jagoff. [Busted Coverage]
• KSK Off-Topic posts are nonsensical, hilarious. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Hooray! There are more Favres in the poopchute, I mean pipeline. [Style Points]
• Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach is awesome. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Ron Artest’s hair is styling. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Disgruntled Toronto Maple Leafs fan is selling his fandom on eBay. [Puck Daddy]
• Goalie Carey Price is texting. I think. [Melt Your Face Off]
I have never claimed to understand how the English handle things, so I shouldn’t be surprised that a xenophobic weirdo like me has been left a bit confused regarding this story: Calum Davenport, a 26-year-old player for West Ham United, has been charged with assault causing actual bodily harm on a woman relating to an incident outside his home in Bedfordshire, England that left him stabbed six times in the legs. Davenport spent six days in intensive care as a result of the stabbing.
Mr Davenport, of Moor View Close, Greenfield, Flitton, Bedfordshire, is currently on bail to appear at Bedford Magistrates’ Court on 10 November.
In a statement issued by his PR company, Mr Davenport said: “I am deeply shocked and disappointed at the decision that has been made to charge me with assault.
Worrell Whitehurst, 25, has been charged in the attack on Davenport as well as an attack on Davenport’s mother and one would have to suspect that the stabbing by Whitehurst was in retaliation for whatever Davenport did to the woman.
Or perhaps the stabbing and the alleged assault were completely unrelated. Maybe Whitehurst simply doesn’t like people with pansy-ass names. I mean, what kind of name is Calum? People have been stabbed for far less, right?
Footballer charged with assault [BBC]
By now, everybody has heard about Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins’ appearance on Jay Leno’s show and how Rollins made a prediction regarding the outcome of the World Series. Well, Brian Costello of the New York Post doesn’t appreciate that Rollins would go so far as to say, while clearly hamming it up, that he believes the Phillies are going to beat the Yankees in the World Series. The headline on Costello’s column reads “Mouthy SS says Phils in five.” And Costello wants to let Rollins know he has angered the Great Yankees Fans and will be forced to endure their ire.
Rollins knows he will have the bull’s-eye on him tonight with the Yankee Stadium crowd eager to see him falter. He’s used to being the villain in Queens. Now he gets to see what the Bronx crowd can bring.
Yes, now he will see. Because if Rollins hadn’t said anything, the Yankee Stadium crowd would have certainly treated him with admiration and respect, right?
Further, how dare Rollins not cower in fear and awe and then genuflect to the great and awesome power of the New York Yankees? Does Rollins realize what he just did? He picked his own team to win! On a national television show watched by shut-ins and the mentally ill (seriously, who is watching this crap?).
I hope that Rollins has realized the folly of his statement and that he realizes that to have faith and belief in himself and his teammates and that they could win a series against the Yankees was a terrible, terrible mistake. Next time, Jimmy, just pick the Yankees, unless you desire to get scolded by a New York Post writer again. Shame on you, Jimmy Rollins!
Mouthy SS says Phils in five [New York Post]
Jimmy Rollins Appears on Jay Leno Show [The700Level]
Hey, at least it wasn’t Kevin Costner, right, Cal?
This is somewhat old news, but Baltimore Sun blog Ring Posts had a post yesterday about the TBS MLB Playoffs studio crew giving Cal Ripken some shit about losing to eye candy/former wrestler/Dancing With The Stars contestant Stacy Keibler in a Baltimore celebrity popularity contest.
The Baltimore Sun is referring to it as the “Baltimore Celebrity Smackdown” and after beating Baltimore broadcaster Scott Garceau in the first round, Ripken was absolutely throttled by Keibler in Round Two by a whopping 78.4% to 21.6% margin.
Of course, since it’s TBS, the studio crew had to do a little good-natured ribbing of Ripken. I particularly enjoy how David Wells proudly announces (and a bit lecherously, I might add) that he is well-aware of Stacy Keibler. And being that it’s a TBS Sports studio show, they use one of their more entertaining bits to embarrass Ripken: the awkward Photoshop.
Video follows.
Vancouver Canucks center Ryan Johnson was carried off the ice on a backboard and taken to the hospital after he appeared to lose his balance after chipping the puck into the offensive zone. When attempting to maneuver around Red Wings defenseman Nicklas Lidstrom, Johnson fell and then crashed violently head-first into the boards and looked to be knocked out cold. Initial reports out of Vancouver are that Johnson is okay and was alert and was capable of full movement.
“So far, I think everything looks good,” [Vancouver head coach Alain]Vigneault said. “He had X-rays and a CT scan and we’re waiting for results, but initial outlook is that everything seems to be fine.”
Video after the jump.
• NHL. Washington Capitals 4, Philadelphia Flyers 2. Alexander Ovechkin scored two goals (1 on an empty-netter) and Alexander Semin returned from a two-game absence and scored a goal and assist. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• NBA. Boston Celtics 95, Cleveland Cavaliers 89. Paul Pierce scored 23 points (including 6 in the final 63 seconds), Ray Allen 16 and Kevin Garnett chipped in 13. LeBron James scored 38 and Shaquille O’Neal had 10 points and 10 rebounds in his Cavaliers debut in the losing effort. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• College Football. East Carolina 38, Memphis 19. QB Patrick Pinkey scored two rushing touchdowns and threw for 216 yards. [Rivals]
• He was merely trying to file a Shit Of Habeas Poopus. Weusi McGowan was sentenced to 31 years in prison for robbery, burglary and two assault charges stemming for his poop-flinging actions in January. His attorneys maintain that McGowan suffers from mental illness. Ya think? [MSNBC/AP]
Last Call: Geocities Edition
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Sadly (?), it was announced by Yahoo that yesterday was the last day that GeoCities would be available.
Being a relative neophyte when it comes to blogging and using the internet for anything besides porn and stock quotes, the news means little to me. But I assume those of you who have been farting around with blogs and websites for some time may feel a bit nostalgic regarding the news. Courtesy of some site called Data Center Knowledge, here are a couple of newsworthy items regarding the demise of GeoCities.
- There have been a number of efforts to preserve the GeoCities sites for posterity, including one by the Internet Archive and another by Archive Team, a separate group. Both efforts began this spring.
- Another effort was begin on Oct. 20 (yep, last Tuesday) by ReoCities, which has generated interest for its mad scramble to backup all of GeoCities in less than a week. Hmmm … did they know the Archive was working on this?
- Gawker, with its usual snark, cites the evaporation of value represented by the closure, noting that Yahoo paid $3.5 billion for GeoCities in 1999.
- Netcraft notes that the impending closure will wipe out at least 930 known phishing sites, including 143 that were launched in the last month.
- News.com has invited readers to share their “favorite stories about GeoCities.”
- Slashdot links to a number of tributes around the web, including ones at xkcd and Homestar Runner.
So there you have it. So long, GeoCities. I hardly knew thee.
• College Football. East Carolina at Memphis. West Carolina, you’re next. [ESPN2, 8:00]
• NBA Basketball. Boston Celtics at Cleveland Cavaliers. The regular season is upon us. And just think, only 8 months until a champion is crowned! Whoo-hoooo! [TNT, 7:30 ET]
• NHL Hockey. Philadelphia Flyers at Washington Capitals. OVIE TIME! [Versus, 7:00 ET]
• Sportsumentary. 30 for 30: Muhammad and Larry. “Documentary footage of Muhammad Ali and Larry Holmes as they prepare for their 1980 heavyweight title fight.” Sounds keen. [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (October 27th)
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• The ESPN memo discussing AJ’s posts last week was leaked. [Deadspin]
• Former Duke basketball player J.J. Reddick is a rapper. Huh? [With Leather]
• Week 7′s LOLNFL. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• It’s probably not a good idea to be a Colombian soccer player if you want to, you know, live. [Last Angry Fan]
• Philly women find Phillies manager Charlie Manuel irresistable. [Joe Sports Fan]
• They are making a movie based on a Rick Reilly book and Steve Carrell is going to star in it. [Sports Rubbish]
Colorado Avalance head coach Joe Sacco confirmed that backup goalie Peter Budaj has been diagnosed with the H1N1 virus. Budaj began to feel ill last Thursday with flu-like symptoms and was scratched from Friday’s game against Carolina.
“We’ve taken the necessary steps, the necessary precautions, to keep him away from the guys at the right time,” Sacco said. “Hopefully, he’ll be joining us on this trip.”
There has been no word on how long Budaj will be out, but it makes sense for him to stay away as long as possible, lest he infect the entire NHL. I’ve been saying it for years and now I finally have proof: the Slovakians are going to be the death of the National Hockey League. Everyone laughed at me, but who’s laughing now? Huh? Me!
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha ha ha ha!
Okay, now I’m done.
Swine flu fells Avalanche goalie Peter Budaj [Denver Post]
When you think of class, you always think of Fox. After all, they are the mega media conglomerate behind giving Michael Strahan a television show. So it should come as no surprise that they have went back to a tasteless (although funny) routine where the head of Ted Williams blogs. In his most recent column, Ted’s Head previews the World Series. The previous installment had Ted’s’ Head breaking down the division series. Punte over at With Leather summed up the situation best when he described the bit this way:
I don’t know whether to start laughing my ass off or recoil in horror at what a bizarre lapse in decorum FOXSports has shown us here. A lot of times, bloggers will blast big media for doing stuff like this, but we do stuff like this all the time over at KSK [though, never with just a fraction of a person's anatomy, though Drew Brees' birthmark was "this close" to becoming his own character]. This really is brilliant, and this will be one of the only MLB previews I read in its entirety.
I agree. Just because something is in poor taste doesn’t prevent it from being funny. What is surprising is that not only did someone green light the bit over at FoxSports initially but that they went back to the well and are doing it again.
Some of the high points, after the jump.
• And I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. [Busted Coverage]
• I can make no sense of this: Ron Artest’s video, “Afghan Women.” [Style Points]
• Antoine Walker is not doing so great. [Bootlegger Sports]
• London Fletcher of the Washington Redskins was a bit pukey. [Total Pro Sports]
• Your Week 7 NFL QB power rankings. [Shutdown Corner]
• Detailing the signs of a bad team. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Redskins fan was booted and subsequently banned from FedEx Field due to a anti-Snyder sign. [Mr. Irrelevant]
Funny, that’s not how I remember the Hulkster’s message to all the little Hulkamaniacs running wild out there going, but apparently, an ugly divorce and dating women who look like your daughter can do strange things to people.
Apparently, the Hulkster, after polishing off a tasty Xanax and rum beverage, almost offed himself. He had the gun loaded and everything, brothers. Thankfully, a random telephone call from Laila Ali stopped him from doing the unspeakable act. From the KC Star (via With Leather):
Hogan describes his depression after breaking up with his wife of 23 years, Linda, and coping with his son Nick’s car accident that left a friend of the younger Hogan brain-injured.
One night, after downing a cocktail of Xanax and rum, he had his finger on the trigger of a loaded gun when Ali, who was his co-star then on “American Gladiators,” called. He recalls that she commented on how distracted he had seemed at work.
Hogan says that phone call saved his life. But on Wednesday, Ali told “Access Hollywood” that this was the first time she was hearing Hogan’s story.
Huh. So, Ali doesn’t remember the phone call. Perhaps it was just a mixup and Hulk was actually talking to rapper Brother Ali. Hey, stranger things have happened.
Hulk Hogan: Laila Ali saved my life [Kansas City Star]
HULK HOGAN ALMOST ENDED IT, BRUTHA [With Leather]
Much like Derek Vinyard, the neo-Nazi character he portrayed in American History X, Edward Norton is passionate about many things. But unlike Vinyard, who fervently sought redemption for wasting his life due to ignorance and hate, the actor Norton’s most recent interest is saving the wildlife and encouraging biodiversity in Kenya and Tanzania “through conservation, education and health services to indigenous people.”
Norton will be running in the New York City Marathon on Sunday to promote this cause. In fact, along with others who share his enthusiasm, Norton has raised close to $500,000 for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. Said Norton:
“The wildlife from that part of the world is in a lot of ways the wildlife of our childhood imaginations. It is lions and giraffes and rhinoceros, and I think there are deep-seated reasons we’re still connected to that.”
Lions, giraffes and rhinocersoses, oh my!
Best of luck to Norton in Sunday’s race and I hope it raises awareness for this worthy cause. Just look out for your nipples, dude. Oh, and don’t shit your pants. It’s never good when you soil yourself. Just look what happened when The Incredible Hulk shit itself in movie theaters. Not pretty.
Actor Edward Norton lends face, feet to cause [Baltimore Sun]
