Archive for October, 2009
As he has been forced to learn due to his bitter battles against Woody Paige and Jay Mariotti for newspaper columnist supremacy in the area of loud-mouthy blowhardiness on ESPN’s Around the Horn, Tim Colishaw knows that mercy is for the weak. That must be why Cowlishaw devoted his entire column this morning to insist that Jerry Jones fire Wade Phillips’ fat ass. Here’s the gist:
On a different plane higher up the business scale, general managers and owners (in the Cowboys’ unique case, this is one person) should look at the body of work and the direction of a team, not just the final play of an overtime game, to make decisions of significance.
It’s not that I expect Jerry Jones to do the right thing this week. In fact, I’m certain he won’t.
But he’s more than capable of it.
Fire a coach after a regular-season victory?
It’s rare, yes, but this is a man who changed coaches after a Super Bowl win.
The right thing now would be to remove Phillips during the bye week and give offensive coordinator Jason Garrett – the one-time heir apparent whose career has been a roller coaster ride since 2007 – the final 11 games to see if he can create a sense of urgency as head coach.
It’s not like the Cowboys season has been an abject failure – they are 3-2 after all – but just like every other year, the hype machine has drastically overrated the Cowboys talent and unfortunately, someone has to pay the price.
With that said, it is nevertheless difficult to find any holes in Cowlishaw’s argument that Phillips should be the fall guy – just because the Cowboys got lucky doesn’t mean that Phillips had anything to do with it. I try to avoid watching Cowboys games like the plague, but every time I have tuned in to one, whenever they show Phillips on the sideline, he has the look of a slow kid who just missed the short bus.
But Jason Garrett? That guy is a douche of the highest order.
On second thought, he’s the perfect guy for the job.
After Dallas Cowboys beat Chiefs, it’s time for one chief to leave [Dallas Morning News]
The above photo was taken by blogger extraordinaire Chris Mottram of Mister Irrelevant during his trip to watch the Redskins lose 20-17 to the Panthers in Charlotte on Sunday.
I really have nothing to add to this photo of a man wearing a pink Jake Delhomme jersey, other than that the hat really ties the whole ensemble together. I guess at least the sodomy was consensual and celebratory last night, which must be a completely different experience than how a Redkins fan feels after getting fucked in the ass by their team every weekend. Metaphorically, of course. But I bet it still hurts something fierce.
And Now a Panthers Fan Wearing a Pink Jake Delhomme Women’s Jersey [Mister Irrelevant]
San Francisco 49ers safety Michael Lewis sustained his third concussion of the season yesterday in San Francisco’s 45-10 loss to the Atlanta Falcons. His first concussion was on August 18th so he has now had three in less than two months.
Lewis went in with his head down as he helped on a tackle of Falcons running back Michael Turner with 10:51 to go in the third quarter. As the players got up after the play, Lewis remained on the field, face down.
San Francisco’s medical staff attended to him and gently rolled him onto his back and helped him sit up. He was clearly woozy as he was helped off the field with a medical staff member supporting him on either side.
Lewis might want to sit a few games out, if not the rest of the season. Concussions are obviously no joking matter, so I will avoid making any. However, there is one thing I would like to point out: I heard that if you get four concussions in a span of three months, the National Concussion Society gives you Troy Aikman’s phone number and an autographed photo of Chris Burke. But hey, life goes on, right?
DB Lewis hit with another concussion [San Francisco Chronicle]
First, he gave the award to himself. Now, Nancy O’Dell?
Not that it’s the biggest woo in the world, but for this week’s “Got It Done” award, Dan Patrick, who usually gives the award out to an athlete or team that excelled over the previous seven days gave it to Access Hollywood‘s Nancy O’Dell – because she appeared on the show and gave him an autograph.
OMG! An autograph from Nancy O’Dell? Do you know how much that could fetch on the “Unemployed People Who Watch Access Hollywood Until Oprah Comes On” market?
One would think with the full docket of sports that occurred over the past week, Patrick could find someone from the sports world to give the award to, but he stuck to his guns and went with the lovely and sultry Nancy O’Dell.
But none of them could compete with Access Hollywood’s Nancy O’Dell. O’Dell not only made a guest appearance on the shwo recently, she sent in a very nice photo with great note to Dan and the Danettes.
Sure, she didn’t score any points or tackle anyone, but Nancy got it done.
What in the hell is a shwo? Is that one of those upside-down ‘e’s?
And what did she get done? A quick, shame-filled – although pleasurable – handjob in a stall in the men’s bathroom? If that’s all it took to get Patrick’s “Got It Done” award, wouldn’t Tim McCarver have already received a Lifetime Achievement Award by now? That guy seems to be on Patrick’s show every other day, and you just know there have been some awkward moments in the men’s room between those two.
Oh, and since the Sportress is your number one sports blog for all things Nancy O’Dell-related, she will be hosting WWE Raw tonight alongside Maria Menounos. I encourage much hair-pulling, clothes-tearing and inadvertent (or intentional – either way) crotch-grabbing for those two.
Got It Done — Nancy O’Dell [Dan Patrick Blog]
Notes for Monday’s WWE RAW, Updates on the two guest hosts [Lords Of Pain]
• Regarding the Dez Bryant controversy, Deion Sanders says he doesn’t prostitute kids. Dummy. That’s where the money’s at. [Larry Brown Sports]
• Business_Socks recaps the weekend that was in the National Football League. [Style Points]
• Seattle Seahawks fullback Owen Schmitt is nuts, bleedy. [With Leather]
• Peter King: still a douchenozzle. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Yahoo! has no problem with the middle finger. [Simon On Sports]
• US Soccer has qualified for the sixth consecutive World Cup appearance. USA! USA! [The Rookies]
• A handheld GPS device that will help umps not get every big call wrong? Genius! [More Hardball]
QUITE FRANKLY, THIS IS A POSITIVELY STUPENDOUS IDEA BY 950 AM RADIO IN PHILADELPHIA!!
Speaker replacement service will now be at a premium in Philadelphia electronics stores now that it has been announced that Stephen A. Smith will be returning to the airwaves for a midday talk show. Via The700Level:
There’s also a new lineup for the local daytime hours. After Mike & Mike, a new show with Stephen A. Smith and Dan Schwartzman will run from 10-12. Then, it’s Vai Sikahema and Harry Mayes from 12-2, followed by Mike Missanelli an hour earlier, from 2-7. To kick off the changes, Mikey Miss will be on today with Stephen A., his former partner in New York, and he’ll be back at 2 for his regular show.
Hooray! It’s been far too long. Hey SAS, national syndication, here we come! Maybe. Probably not. Hey, it’s a job, though, right?
950 ESPN = 97.5 FM “The Fanatic”… New Lineup Announced (Including Stephen A. Smith) [The700Level]
The Miami Hurricanes are off to one of their best starts in years. At 4-1, the Hurricanes are ranked 9th in the AP Poll and appear to be enjoying a renaissance of their football program. So, who or what is behind their resurgence? Head coach Randy Shannon’s savvy handling of the team? Quarterback Jacory Harris’ stellar play?
Sure, those two people have had something to do with the Canes’ impressive season, but the real credit goes out to one individual and one individual only: SpongeBob SquarePants.
Read More→
Ah Yes, The Erotic Ecstasy Of Victory
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Hoo-boy, that’s awkward.
A big congratulations goes out to Alex Rodriguez, who finally did something in the postseason besides his usual pants-shitting.
In the Yankees’ three-game sweep of the Twins, A-Rod was on fire, going 5-11 with two home runs and 6 RBI. Impressive.
Let’s hope he continues with his FLAAAMING hitting so we can once again laugh at more bukkake-looking celebration photos after the Yankees take out the Angels.
Yankees ride Dome runs to ALCS [MLB.com]
• MLB Playoffs Roundup. The Angels completed their sweep of the Red Sox, scoring five runs in the final two innings, winning 7-6. The Yankees completed their sweep of the Twins as well, winning 4-1 in the last game to ever be played in the Metrodome. The Phillies beat the Rockies 6-5 to take a 2-1 lead in the series. [MLB. Scoreboard]
• National Football League. The Colts are now 5-0 and the Titans 0-5 after Indianapolis throttled Tennessee 31-9. This was the 14th straight regular season victory for the Colts. [Yahoo!]
• Golf. The United States easily won the President’s Cup. To be honest, I forgot it was even going on. [Yahoo!]
• Smoking is bad, mmmmkay? A 48-year-old Canadian truck driver was pulled over and ticketed for smoking, as his truck is considered a workplace. He will have to pay the $290 ticket and take a workplace sensistivity course. Okay, he doesn’t have to take the course, but he should. Damn smokers stinkin’ up the place. Loser. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
As you may recall, I’ll be spending the day over at With Leather doing my best not to completely sabotage the sterling reputation that blog currently has. When you are not reading my hilarious musings over there, watch this It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia episode, “The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis.”
Enjoy. It’s not like you were planning on doing anything today.
• MLB Playoffs. Game 2, St. Louis Cardinals at Los Angeles Dodgers. Can the Dodgers take a 2-0 lead over the Cardinals? Is Will Leitch okay? [TBS, 6:00 ET]
• MLB Playoffs, Part II. Game 1, Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. You better be careful, Boston: one false move and Nick Adenhart’s jersey gets it! [TBS, 9:30 ET]
• College Football. Nebraska at Missouri. Middle-America will never be the same. [ESPN, 9:00 ET]
• High School Football. Miami Central (Fla.) vs. Miami Northwestern (Fla.). Middle-Miami will never be the same. [ESPN2, 7:30 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (October 8th)
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• Some sport played in Australia and New Zealand called Netball forced a team to change its name from “Master Baiters.” Lame. [With Leather]
• Here is this week’s Fantasy Sex/Football mailbag. Enjoy. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Anything titled “SHAKEY: TIME ARBITER featuring Plaxico Burress is getting a link. Plus it’s friggin’ hilarious. [Style Points]
• Two drunk guys start making fun of a couple of trannies, trannies turn out to be MMA fighters, beat up said drunk guys. What? Oh, there’s video, too. [Last Angry Fan]
• Rob in WI recaps the weekend that was in the Big 10. Someone from Wisconsin wouldn’t mention them beating the Gophers, right? Oh. [The Phoenix Pub]
• So who’s fault is it that Dez Bryant got suspended? Deion Sanders, of course. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Some amusing Miguel Cabrera photoshops. [More Hardball]
Usually, when I write something about an SI Cheerleader of the Week, more often than not the primary area of discussion tends to revolve around their, ahem, physical attributes. Today we’re going in a different direction.
It’s not that Kristen Bolinger, a junior majoring in Communications-Public Relations at North Carolina State University, is not a cute girl, it’s just that the answers she provided to the questionnaire that SI gives each cheerleader were so darn compelling. You can go look at her photos on Extra Mustard anyway, pervs.
Let’s have a look-see, shall we?
I’m a big fan of CBS golf analyst David Feherty. I also enjoy watching golf, so that should tell you something right there – I’m not sure what, but something.
Feherty adds a unique mix of wit, self-deprecating humor and knowledge to CBS golf broadcasts, which counterbalances Jim Nantz and his insistence on over-romanticizing the game. I would dare say that Feherty has a certain je ne sais quoi about him, if only I knew what that phrase meant. It sounded good, so I went with it.
That’s why I was a bit suprised to learn that Feherty will be roaming the sidelines during the Navy-Rice football game this Saturday for CBS. It certainly seems to be a move that will take him out of his element.
• It’s true. One of them dropped an f-bomb during a sideline interview. Sideline interview during lingerie football? Wha? [Busted Coverage]
• The fellas at SP interview JaMarcus Russel. [Style Points]
• I missed it yesterday, but LeNoc came up with another doozy of a NSFWednesday, featuring Mike Modano, Willa Ford and a special guest. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Muslim soccer team refuses to play team comprised of homosexual Frenchmen. [Sports Rubbish]
• Blue Menu and his last Blue Jays post for the year. [Food Court Lunch]
• Have you seen the new “NBA on TNT” commercial with Rainn Wilson and Dwight Howard? [Ball Don't Lie]
• lowercase once again does his very best to project the BCS. That’s hard work right there. [The Phoenix Pub]
