Last Call In East St. Louis
By
I thought we could all take an imaginary field trip to the wonderful town of East St. Louis for Last Call this evening. You see, the mayor of East St. Louis has had to roll back the time of last call due to a rash of violent incidents occurring at that witching hour.
East St. Louis mayor and liquor commissioner Alvin Parks may have finally had it with his city’s nightclubs. After a bloody weekend that left four people injured or dead in two days at nightspots scattered across town, Parks says last call at the bars will be rolled back–at least for the time being– from 6 a.m. to 1 a.m.
What the fuck? A 6:00 a.m. last call? Who came up with this brilliant idea? Who thought that in a city that has one of the highest crime rates (including murder) in the nation it would be a wise plan to keep the bars open until sunrise? And further, how fitting is it that mayor of East St. Louis is also the liquor commissioner?
I guess this is why East St. Louis can’t have nice things. If they ever did have them.
Blogetizers
- Reese Witherspoon Training Near Temple University, Shakey Vows to ‘Impregnate That’ [Style Points]
- NFL Week 5 in Review [The Phoenix Pub]
- Floating On a Mile High [The Rookies]
- Placing odds on the remaining World Cup spots in UEFA [Avoiding the Drop]
The Entree
- National Lampoon’s Vacation: The Griswolds Visit East St. Louis.
Sorbet
- Monica Bellucci
- And for the ladies…
Scott Baio!
Sweet Christ that’s a terrible photo. Apologies. Well, no changing it now!
Have a great night.
Superlatively poor taste, as usual.
greetings friends, how is everyone?
@Thundercracker, where have you been hiding?
@Sculptor?!?,
in the friendly confines of Hong Kong. Got back a week ago, been trying unsuccessfully to get my sleep pattern back in tune.
hello, it’s been awhile
@MarissaExplainsItAll,seeing as no one else is saying. Welcome back.
Well seeing as they have moved last call back to 1 am, I guess I won’t be moving to East St. Louis now. I can deal with the murder and drug dealing, but if I cannot drink at a bar till the sun comes up, then the hell with it.
slow night I guess
okay, i’m fed, and watered. fire is going (finally). what’s tonight’s fun topic? uranium enrichment, favorite type of brownie, what?
Yo.
@Two Yellows, YO.
Any news on Charlie?
@Sculptor?!?, I got an email from a friend who works for DC United.
He’s in pretty bad shape, but they’ve heard he’ll be okay. There are varying rumors as to what he was doing out at 3:15 in the morning.
@Two Yellows, we need rumors? what the hell else are you doing if you’re out at 3 in the morning? drinking or whoring, or perhaps a combination thereof. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
@Sculptor?!?, Well, if you check my twitter feed, you can see what the girl who ended up dying looked like.
Suffice it to say, his campaign is over for this season.
@Two Yellows, Oh, that was a given.
And whee. Ching and Casey? Sigh. We’re out in the first round, aren’t we?
@Two Yellows, i just looked at her twitter. ironic last comment.
@Two Yellows, and how important is he to the team, exactly? Hubby asked this, and I don’t have the definitive answer.
@Sculptor?!?, He’s been first choice striker in the last few senior team matches, and started against Honduras last week. It’s a loss, to be sure. It now means two of the top three US strikers are everyone’s favorites, Ching and Casey.
@Two Yellows, It’s comments like that which prove to me that there is no God. Perhaps we could borrow Crouchildinho?
@WhiteSpeedReceiver, Maybe not Crouchy, but I’ve been in favor of poaching someone from Brazil or Argentina for quite some time. I’m not excited for the Kenny Cooper era, I have to be honest.
@Two Yellows, I’m not picky. As long as Casey and Ching get the Moe Greene treatment, I don’t really care who we get as long as they show the required ability to PUT THE FUCKING BALL IN THE NET.
So, let’s review the NFL. The Titans suck. The Rams suck. The Raiders suck and blow games. And the defending Super Bowl champs just got hit the new NFL curse, the Head and Shoulders curse.
Why am I a NFL writer again?
@James Brown, you did with your eyes, Trent. You did with your eyes.
HOW THE FUCK DID JEFF DUNHAM GET A TV SHOW?
@Sculptor?!?, he’s got pictures of a comdey central exec with one of his dummies. Nasty shit.
@Sculptor?!?, One of my best friends and his wife love Jeff Dunham, but cant’ stand Seinfeld. If he didn’t have season tickets for the Wild, I’d abandon him.
@WhiteSpeedReceiver, Well, when Dunham first hit the comedy scene 20 FUCKING YEARS AGO, I found him funny. But now? Not so much.
And I’m one of few who don’t like Seinfeld. The TV show OR the comedian. But I didn’t like Cheers, Frasier, Friends, or a handful of other “popular” shows. I just hate sitcoms in general.
@Sculptor?!?, same way Carlos Mencia did. By realizing that Comedy Central is so busy sucking Trey & Matt’s cocks that they don’t care if everything else is a total shit show.
Mediocrity rules, and it’s even more depressing than usual lately. Last night at the gym I saw that apparently Jay Leno is trying to do sketch “comedy.” It was somehow worse than Mad TV. And OMG who the FUCK let that Dan Brown ass sombrero write another book??? Between him & Mitch Goddamn Albom I know now why people cut off all contact w/ the outside world and live off the grid some-fucking-place. GAH
/sorry
//don’t forget stephanie muthafucking meyer
///what up with you fuck hangers?
Q: Favorite type of brownie?
A: Whatever kind is being served.
Evening folks.
@Rob in WI,
A: The Pack Leader
Question: Who’s behind the Avoiding the Drop twitter? I thought it was Sex Fabregas, but he has the illex twitter, and it’s left me all discombobulated. Cure me.
@Shakey, Illex and Mags share the duties. I did it for a bit, but I let them have at it. They both have their own twitters as well. We just love social media, really.
@Two Yellows, So in other words, you guys are out to confound me. What’s a poor boy like me to do in this cruel, ambiguous tweeter world?
@Shakey, Release your 17 alter egos upon the twitterverse?
@WhiteSpeedReceiver, I know one of them is Chris Hanson’s Axe, but I have no idea who the other one is. It is quite disconcerting.
I’m blaming Hitler.
@Shakey, Honestly, just assume it’s Illex. It’s mostly him.
Since we’re talking twitters, is JHC dead now, can I delete from my list? Or, in lieu of that, can I get the password so I can blaspheme for awhile?
@Two Yellows, Ah, Jesus_M. I’ve taken a little break from the blaspheming side of life, but when I get bored I’ll fire him back up. Maybe tomorrow.
But if you want to blaspheme along with me, just send me an email at ShakeySP@gmail.com and I’ll give you the password.
@Shakey, Oh, now it’s going to be extra awesome.
@Shakey, Surprised to see you here. I figured you where busy in the bushes, outside Reese’s room.
@Shakey, no it’s me. I’ve jumped back onto my illex twitter for when I want to make dick jokes and send messages to your mom. I figured I’d try and keep the ATD one a little more soccer oriented.
@Sex Fabregas, until you need to make a soccer related dick joke. then your head explodes.
@Sculptor?!?, No, ATD for that one without question. Everyone following that twitter loves a good soccer dick joke.
Week of hell is half over, at least i now have my passes for Rutgers in my hand. For some reason I feel a letdown Friday night.
@RATL, Welcome to New Jersey. We feel that way just about every Friday night…
@Sculptor?!?, Not sure that anything Rutgers can possibly top that gigantic shit Kenny Britt took on us last year. I bet Aaron Berry is still chasing Britt.
Watching NOVA program about Hubble. Total geek-fest.
@Sculptor?!?, This is why we love you.
5-1 Sabres over Red Wings in the 2nd. Vanek has a pair of goals in this beautiful stomping.
@WhiteSpeedReceiver, Osgood yanked. HA HA!
I’m cold and damp. Damn typhoon.
Right now I’m considering building a bed linens fort, drinking whiskey and hot chocolate, and also setting fire to that bush outside. Best ways to warm up – fire water and plain old fire.
@ailanthus altissima, It’s really that cold there? When it hits 55 around and doesn’t rain here between sept and april it’s a great day.
@RATL, You’re right. I am 100% spoiled and a total cold wimp.
@ailanthus altissima, a blanket fort? AWESOME.
@Sculptor?!?, I KNOW! I have 3 blankets and 4 pillows maneuvered just so.
@ailanthus altissima, wow, all you need now are some hotwheels to drive on the weird little roads the blanket folds make
/yes i was a bored, lonely child
Guys lets not forget the USMNT still has Kenny Cooper as an option!!
I actually wanted to see Jeff Cunningham get a callup before the accident, now I really want to see what he can do in the friendly against Denmark preferably.
@Sex Fabregas, What, and miss the Conor-clysm? Not in this lifetime, homes.
The fantasist in me hopes that Kenny Cooper will get a legitimate look-see – the realist in me knows this just opens things up for Brian Ching to trip over his feet on a one-on-none breakaway.
@Green Eggs and Fulham: I’d like to see Cooper get a callup and see how well he performs.
I’d also like to see how well the team ran a 4-5-1/4-3-3 similar to what Arsenal has been running with 3 central mids, 2 wingers and a lone striker.
@Sex Fabregas, Not sure if Bradley has that kind of creativity – afraid might go to a 4-4-1-1 with Altidore up top (if we’re lucky), or something even more ordinary.
Cooper would be great to see, and I’ve been blowing that horn for a few months – but we all know what will end up happening.
So, I’ve had crown and coke with a half rack of ribs. I still have more.
Shakey stop trying to blame shit on me. I know no-thing!
http://knownothing.ytmnd.com
http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93092?fp=1
optical illusion my ass! MARTIANS!
@Thundercracker, what’s in the water? LSD? PCPs? what?
@Sculptor?!?,
whichever drug makes you hear in russian. I know crack makes me hear everything in latin.
@Sculptor?!?, I’m going with mescalin.
@Green Eggs and Fulham, @Thundercracker, okay those are both valid possibilities. I’m going with my old stand-by, Testor’s model airplane glue.
Oy… I really should go to bed.
Per @GrantWahl on Twitter, Charlie Davies has fractures to his right tibia and femur and left elbow, along with facial fractures and a lacerated bladder. OUCH.
Could take between 6-12 months to properly recover from said injuries.
@Green Eggs and Fulham, Is this one of the guys that flops around like a Duke basketball player when he gets touched? Big Ben played a month after his accident, and he was on a motorcycle.
@RATL, Yeah, he’s a soccer player, to use your parlance.
I don’t rightly care what Big Ben did versus whatever Charlie will do; it’s six of one and half-a-dozen of the other, but REALLY?
don’t know if anyone is still around, but here’s an update on Charlie: Charlie Davies out of surgery, with titanium rods inserted into his right femur and tibia. Has a lacerated bladder, facial lacerations, and a fractured left elbow which will require more surgery. 6-12 months for recovery.
and with that, I’m out. see you tomorrow lads and lasses
How’s everyone doing, if anyone is still around?
@Magic’s Johnson, hey MJ, I’m hanging. How are things?
@Magic’s Johnson, somewhat, MJ
So anyway, I tried to start a twitter war with @masternumber33, or “Gary the numbers guy” as he is better known. I’m waiting for a response. I’m also trying to guess what he meant by “Who told you I was fired?”