Miami Hurricanes Credit SpongeBob SquarePants For Early Season Success

spongebob

The Miami Hurricanes are off to one of their best starts in years. At 4-1, the Hurricanes are ranked 9th in the AP Poll and appear to be enjoying a renaissance of their football program. So, who or what is behind their resurgence? Head coach Randy Shannon’s savvy handling of the team? Quarterback Jacory Harris’ stellar play?

Sure, those two people have had something to do with the Canes’ impressive season, but the real credit goes out to one individual and one individual only: SpongeBob SquarePants.

After the Canes’ victory against Oklahoma, Miami coach Randy Shannon told reporters that his quarterback, Jacory Harris, instructed teammates to watch episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants before games instead of watching ESPN. Shannon said SquarePants’ inane and daffy existence has kept the impressionable Hurricanes players “focused” on “flying around” in practices and during games.

“The reason why we got this victory is because we went back to basics,” Shannon said after the win. “And it’s ironic, because as I was coming out [after the game], Jacory called everyone up and said, `Hey, listen, the only thing we’re going to watch on TV from now on is SpongeBob. We ain’t watching ESPN. We ain’t watching CBS. We ain’t watching ABC. If SpongeBob can tell you how good you are, then you deserve it.’ ”

I hope Shannon realizes that SpongeBob isn’t technically telling the Hurricanes how good they are.

Or is he? This is where the article gets confusing.

In the pursuit of a good story, The Miami Herald traveled to the bottom of the ocean to find out what SquarePants thought of the Hurricanes.

“The Miami Hurricanes are the best one-loss team in college football,” SquarePants said. “And if the Dolphins beat the Jets on Monday night, then they’re pretty good, too. We love the Dolphins in Bikini Bottom. They’re the protectors of the ocean.”

SquarePants says Harris is his favorite Cane.

Okay, so The Miami Herald is having a reporter pretend like he is  interviewing a beloved cartoon character? What do they think they are, a blog?

The icing on the cake is Joesph Goodman, the Herald’s intrepid reporter, also got a supporting quote from Patrick Star, SpongeBob’s longtime Starfish companion.

“This town hasn’t been this crazy since Kevin Costner stopped by for lunch during the filming of Waterworld,” said Patrick Star, a portly Starfish who lives under a rock two doors down from SquarePants’ makeshift home, a hollowed-out pineapple.

Jesus. Poor Kevin Costner. You know things aren’t going your way when cartoon characters are taking potshots at you. Yikes.

SpongeBob inspires Miami Hurricanes football team [The Miami Herald]

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10 Comments

  1. Chris Hanson's Axe

    October 12, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Unfortunately, Sam Bradford told OU to watch reruns of “Pelswick.”

  2. LeNoceur

    October 12, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Forcing the team to adopt Krabby Patties as the pregame meal, however, is taking it a bit too far.

  3. Robert Ahmed

    May 9, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Spongebob is really funny and hilarious. somebody says that spongebob is gay, is that even true?-,,

    • alzaeam96

      December 19, 2010 at 5:12 pm

      no, the one who said that is gay

  4. Brooke Morris

    July 3, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Spongebo and Patrick are really great characters. love them.“;

  5. Xandre

    August 6, 2010 at 3:44 am

    this spongebob is an awesome show it’s fantastic i will watch it every day can i have a photograph of spongebob

  6. Reyzandro B. Unay

    August 6, 2010 at 3:47 am

    spongebob is the fantastic and massive spongebob m\show ever i think i promote it 100% stars and i will watch it everyday!

  7. Hunter Reed

    September 28, 2010 at 3:13 am

    what i like about spongebob is that he is sarcastic and funny*:~

  8. Harvey Morris

    October 6, 2010 at 4:57 am

    sometimes spongebob is stingy and annoying:””

  9. Ji Capitani

    November 28, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Schools hire search firms, but often screw up firing timing (everything). Kudos to Miami for firing Randy Shannon now.

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