Archive for September, 2009
Why pay the exorbitant ticket prices at Yankee Stadium to experience getting treated like crap when there are much more budget-friendly options taking in a minor league baseball game? That must have been the logic behind the decision of three teenage boys to attend a Newark Bears game at Bears & Eagles Riverfront Stadium on June 29th of this year, where they were kicked out because they didn’t stand during the singing of “God Bless America.”
It should be pointed out that the Yankees made the correct decision and settled a lawsuit brought by a fan who made similar allegations regarding how he was treated by Yankee Stadium security when he tried to leave his seat to use the bathroom during “God Bless America.”
But a minor league baseball team like the Newark Bears have to watch expenses, so they don’t have the funds to hire security to usher out the malcontent America-haters – they have the president and co-owner do it.
Hey Tom Brady, if you think you can blow off Suzy Kolber when she wants and interview, you can forget it.
Did the fact that she’s a woman stop her from realizing her dreams of reaching the pinnacle of success in sports broadcasting? No.
Did the absence of a man in her life prevent her from pumping out a Mini-Suzy? Hell to the no.
The woman is tenacious in her dedication. Ruthless in her persistence. Cutthroat in her throat-cutting, or something. So you better just park your prima donna ass when she tells you to and answer her goddamn questions, pretty boy. Do you think you’re above it all now? Do you think you can just blow off NFL Sideline Reporter Numero Uno and not suffer the consequences? She’s a friggin’ bulldog, Brady – nothing is going to deter her when she sets her sights on something, so don’t even bother.
Check yourself, bitch.
Tom Brady makes Suzy Kolber work for her postgame quotes [Shutdown Corner]
ESPN’s Suzy Kolber becomes a Mom. Grandpa mum on paternity. [Philly.com]
• NFL. Tom Brady threw two TDs in the final 2:06 to rally the Patriots to a 25-24 win over the Bills and Phillip Rivers also led a comeback, engineering a scoring drive that resulted in Darren Sproles scoring on a five-yard run as the Chargers defeated the Raiders 24-20. [Yahoo!]
• MLB Roundup. Marco Scutaro’s error allowed Brandon Inge to score from second, enabling the Tigers to squeak by the Blue Jays 6-5 in 10 innings. Matt Holliday had 3 RBI as the Cardinals beat theMarlins 11-6. Ryan Dempster pitched 8 shutout innings, leading the Cubs to a 2-0 win over the Brewers. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• U.S. Open. Two points away from victory, Roger Federer collapsed, and sixth-seeded Juan Martin del Potro took advantage, defeating Federer 3-6, 7-6 (5), 4-6, 7-6 (4), 6-2 to win the U.S. Open. Federer had won 40 consecutive matches at Flushing Meadows coming into the championship.[USOpen.org]
• Pantless man harrasses horse. A bald 26-year-old man in Finley, Washington has been accused of harrassing his neighbor’s horse – at 3:30 in the morning – while not wearing any pants. He reportedly was chasing the horse. To be fair, the guy said he wouldn’t have had to chase the horse if it weren’t such a cockteaser. [Yahoo!/AP]
Georgia Fans Are Proud Of Their Cox
Posted by:
Well played, angry-looking man. Well played.
From the excellent Larry Brown Sports:
Georgia’s quarterback is a senior named Joe Cox. South Carolina’s nickname is the Gamecocks. Put the two in a bottle, shake it up, mix it around, add a creative yet brazen fan, and you get the following funny poster…
Heh. Cox. Them crazy sumbitches!
Georgia Fans Have Creative Posters [Larry Brown Sports]
• National Football League. Monday Night Football doubleheader, motherfuckers! First up, Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots. Watch Tom Brady’s and Terrell Owens’ knees get shredded! After that be sure to tune in for the San Diego Chargers at the Oakland Raiders. You know, to make yourself feel better due to the fact you are not a Raiders fan. [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
• Weird. Inside the Actors Studio. Tonight’s episode: The Family Guy. Come again? [Bravo, 8:00 ET]
• New episode! Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. Tonight: Sardinia. Remind me to set the DVR for this one. Thanks. [The Travel Channel, 10:00 ET]
• Not interested. I don’t know if you guys have heard about it, but apparently Jay Leno has a new show debuting tonight. You would think they would advertise something like this a little bit. Drew has a great post on the subject over on Deadspin. Seriously, fuck Jay Leno (I just hope I don’t offend as many people with that statement as I did when I ripped on Bon Jovi – people with poor taste can be so sensitive). [NBC, 10:00 ET]
• ClintonPortishead brings it with his Washington Redskins preview. Oh, it has been broughten-en. [Style Points]
• LeNoceur has a preview of the Columbus Blue Jackets. They’re a hockey team. For real. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Serena Williams has roid rage? I can see that. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Three NFL players are donating their brains to science. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Hockey WAG Elisha Cuthbert: still smoking hot. [Epic Carnival]
• Does your golf game suck as much as you do? Then SwingDome is the product for you! [Devil Ball Golf]
I know, shocking. Ichiro became the first player in Major League history to have at least 200 hits in nine consecutive seasons.
He did it nine times?
Nine…times. (Thanks, Ed Rooney)
And of course, the Japanese are incredibly proud of their fellow countryman’s achievement. In fact, Ichiro received high praise for his accomplishment from none other than the legendary Sadaharu Oh.
“Sometimes we forget how difficult it is to accomplish these things amid a baseball schedule which is much tougher in the U.S. than in Japan,” Oh said. “It’s hard to find the words to describe what he has accomplished.”
Now, out of my way, all of you. This is no place for loafers! Join me or die! Can you do any less?
God, an overdone Simpsons and a tired Ferris Bueller reference in the same post? I would say I was slipping but that would just be furthering the lie that I was ever any good in the first place.
Savor the mediocrity, people. Savor it!
Japan praises Ichiro’s feat of nine straight 200-hit seasons [USA Today]
Jason Whitlock, a/k/a the “Round Mound that Smaller Planets Can Orbit Around,” is back at it on his crusade against all things Serena Williams. You may recall a column penned by the acerbic writer from earlier this summer where he had this to say about Serena Williams:
With a reduction in glut, a little less butt and a smidgen more guts, Serena Williams would easily be as big as Michael Jackson, dwarf Tiger Woods and take a run at Rosa Parks.
• I could pretty much type anything here. It’s about Erin Andrews, so you know you’re going to read it. [Awful Announcing]
• Brian Urlacher: gone for the season. Heartbreaking, really. [Shutdown Corner]
• Who wants to buy Lenny Dykstra’s World Series ring? [Big League Stew]
• Playboy releases free photos of Girls of the ACC. Nice. [Busted Coverage]
• Shakey spices up Matt Cassel’s bio. [Style Points]
Amputee Oscar “The Notrious” Pistorius (I just made that nickname up – do you notice that it rhymes?), best known for running races on whatever-the-hell those things are attached to his stumps, was arrested for allegedly assaulting a 19-year-old girl at a party he was hosting.
Local media are reporting that Pistorius was arrested Saturday night after he tried to intervene in a lover’s tiff.
The woman had been fighting with her boyfriend outside the house in a golf estate near Pretoria. The South African Press Association reports she later began kicking Pistorius’s front door.
According to his manager, Pistorious intends to release a statement later today regarding the incident. But to be honest, I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were him – this will all be quickly forgotten when another news cycle begins – stories like these rarely have any legs.
SAfrican amputee runner faces assault charges [The Seattle Times/AP]
Lots of juicy video goodness from this weekend in sports. Obviously, everyone has heard about what occurred during the Serena Williams-Kim Clijsters semifinal match on Saturday night at the U.S. Open, so I won’t bother you with the details other than Williams was fined $10,500 for her antics, $500 for slamming her racket and $10,000 for berating the official, with more fines and/or suspensions possible now that the USTA has opened an investigation into the matter.
To be honest, I didn’t know how to feel about the whole controversy until I stumbled across this YouTube video by Pepepoo9. To say he has a keen insight (as well as a deft editing hand) on this matter would be an understatement.
Adrian Peterson Is Good At Playing Football
Posted by:Or, as Brett Favre put it in regard to his running back after the Vikings beat the Browns 34-20, “He’s pretty awesome, but I guess that’s an understatement.”
Peterson rushed for 180 yards and three touchdowns on 25 carries, 155 of those yards coming in the second half. This coming after Peterson recieved an IV at halftime because he was nauseous. The entry point of the IV in his arm was subsequently torn open in the second half, causing Peterson to bleed heavily.
But this is about a nice of a run as you are going to see. Peterson broke five tackles on his way to scoring on the 64-yard run, including throwing Browns cornerback Eric Wright to the ground before he kicked it into high gear and outraced everybody to the endzone.
“It was pretty good,” Peterson said. “Maybe in my top five. The only thing wrong was I didn’t go untouched. It was fun. I was determined to get in the end zone and stick the dagger in.”
You said it, AP. But in my book, you gotta get to White Castle before the weirdos show up! Yesterday in Cleveland, Purple Jesus got Happy-Go-Jackie on the Browns defense like a donkey eating a waffle! Sweet Sassy Molassey! Get out the checkbook and pay grandma for the rubdown!
I’m sorry. Am I rubbing it in now? My bad.
Much more than No. 4 for the Vikes [Star Tribune]
Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson battles through illness, cut to gash Cleveland Browns [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
• National Football League. Aaron Rodgers managed to be the least crappy quarterback on the field Sunday night, throwing a 50-yard touchdown pass to Greg Jennings with 1 minute, 11 seconds remaining in the game as the Packers came from behind to beat the Bears 21-15. Cutler threw four picks in his debut with the Bears. [NFL.com]
• MLB Roundup. Torii Hunter’s home run in the seventh broke a 2-2 tie and the Angels went on to beat the White Sox 3-2. Javier Vazquez gave up a leadoff single, retired the next 17 batters and took a shutout into the ninth inning as the Braves whipped the Cardinals 9-2. Ichiro Suziki became the first major league player in history to have at least 200 hits in nine consecutive seasons as the Mariners shut out the Rangers 5-0. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• U.S. Open. Kim Clijsters won her second U.S. Open title, beating Caroline Wozniacki in straight sets, 7-5, 6-3. [USOpen.org]
• PGA Golf. Tiger Woods coasted to his 71st PGA Tour victory, finishing 19-under and blowing away the field and winning by eight shots at the BMW Championship. [PGATour.com]
• Throwing a keg out of a car is a bad idea? Kevin Schleicher, 21, has been charged with recklessly endangering safety after throwing a beer keg out of the window that buddy Kolton Kafka was driving. Kafka was charged with drunken driving. Woodheads. [AOL News]
• College Football. Colorado at Toledo. This doesn’t seem fair at all. A whole state against a city. A city in Toledo, no less? [ESPN, 9:00 ET]
• Basketball. 2009 Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame Enshrinement Ceremony. Some people that were good at basketball are going to be honored or something. [ESPN, 6:30 ET]
• MLB Baseball. Chicago White Sox at Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Seriously, they need to stop with that Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim bullshit. Yes, I said it. I’m taking a stand, man. [WGN, 10:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. Goodfellas. Still one of the best movies even with the overdone editing. [AMC, 8:00 ET]
• They brought out the heavy hitters today for previews: the Eagles by Shakey and the Steelers by Bucholtz. [Style Points]
• Holy crap Chris Collinsworth is Wooderson. [With Leather]
• Another awesome edition of “What Are You Thinking?” Today, the Pennsylvania Avenue Edition. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Jack White built some baseball fields. What? That’s a name of another side project, right? [Walkoff Walk]
