Archive for September, 2009
• U.S. Open. Live coverage of the men’s round of 16 and women’s quarterfinals. This has been a fantastic tournament. No kidding. [ESPN2, 7:00 ET]
• Should be good. Shaq Vs. “Shaquille O’Neal takes on fighter Oscar de la Hoya in a five-round exhibition match at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas.” Awesome. Will they be wearing women’s underwear during the fight? [ABC, 9:00 ET]
• Fuck and yes. Season premiere, Sons of Anarchy. Even cooler, Henry Rollins is joining the cast. [FX, 10:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. Stripes. I have to be honest here – I have never seen this movie. But I’ve heard it’s good, so there’s that. [AMC, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (September 8th)
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• Jenn Sterger is keeping herself busy. [Busted Coverage]
• LenDale White will stomp on a Terrible Towel again. [Shutdown Corner]
• Teen tennis sensation Melanie Oudin kicked out of her NYC hotel. [The Sporting Blog]
• Be sure to sign up for WL’s NFL suicide pool. [With Leather]
• More on the Shawne Merriman situation. [Bootlegger Sports]
Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? Via Sports Media Watch, who found this nugget on Josh Krulewitz’s Twitter account:
Rick Reilly: The ESPN writer will co-host the Los Angeles edition of SportsCenter this Thursday and Friday, alongside Neil Everett. Reilly, who joined ESPN in ’07, once co-anchored an edition of ESPNews while with Sports Illustrated.
Horrible. Just horrible. I’m terrified to think how many dental references Reilly is going to work into the highlights. And they are pairing him with Neil Everett? Those two smarmy fucks teaming up together could create a black hole of suck so retardingly powerful that it will be impossible to break free from its gravitational pull of douchiness.
I guess it could be worse. They could have paired him up with Buccigross.
(shudders)
Big names [Sports Media Watch]
I’m sure most of you out there cringe at the thought of Jon Gruden possessing any qualities similar to that of Monday Night Football trainwreck Tony Kornheiser, but it appears that the two see eye-to-eye on at least one subject – well, besides their undying man-crushes on Brett Favre, of course.
Their shared love for the show American Idol.
A rising online star is in our midst and her name is Brittany Umar. The comely comedienne is the host of “The Nooner,” an three-minute online sports show that airs at noon (duh!) Monday through Friday on SNY.tv (SportsNet New York) as well as the website of the New York Daily News.
Umar, a graduate of Rutgers, has been talking sports since high school, when she would do report scores while doing the morning announcements.
For Umar, fun is ripping Omar Minaya, telling Plaxico Burress jokes and taking shots at the Mets – and she does all of the above and more as host of the daily online show, The Nooner, featured on SNY.tv and the Daily News Web site.
“It’s just fun,” Umar said of her daily three-minute riff on the sports topics du jour. “It’s really cool to do something enjoyable.”
Indeed. And don’t underestimate Umar as just another pretty face. She’s more than happy to fire off some zingers at the expense of New York sports teams.
• Business_Socks lays out the reasons to hate each and every starting QB in the NFL. [Style Points]
• Drew brilliantly destroys another Peter King column. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• More .gif awesomeness from LSUfreek. [The Sporting Blog]
• The Hurricanes played well, but it’s still not time to crown their ass. [With Leather]
• samer has the inside scoop on who is going to be the starting QB for the Browns. I’m pulling for Drew Carey. [Second-String Fullback]
• Another entertaining edition of the brilliant feature, “What Are You Thinking?” [Melt Your Face Off]
• I could be wrong, but it seems to me that Jay Mariotti would like to have sexual relations with USC QB Matt Barkley. [Deadspin]
• Rob in WI takes on the thankless job of recapping the Big 10′s weekend. Well done, sir. [The Phoenix Pub]
Sidney Crosby Loves Gilfs
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Oh, Sidney Crosby, you dirty dog! Tired of the dating scene, Crosby, in some ill-conceived attempt at finding true love, has set his sights on one hot geriatric momma.
Believe me, Sid, it ain’t gonna work. She’ll just use you up and kick you to the curb.
There are certain times when a man of immeasurable power has to take control of a situation in order to get shit done, and at ESPN, now is one of those times.
Chris Berman, unwilling to sit on his hands any longer (they always fall asleep and get weird marks on them when he does that anyway), has called out the powers-that-be at ESPN and the NFL and made his opinions known: ESPN should, nay, must broadcast an upcoming Super Bowl. And make it snappy. Via The Huddle:
“We’re one of the four (TV) partners,” Berman told [USA Today columnist Michael] McCarthy. “Hopefully, the next time around, it will be a four-man rotation. That would be a pinnacle, having a Super Bowl at ESPN.”
Damn straight, Berman. ESPN has for far too long sat idly by on the sidelines while other networks dominate the televised sports landscape, but for no longer. The Don has decreed it, so it will be so. Because if you tell Berman “no” once, it will be your last time.
Chris Berman: ESPN wants a Super Bowl in next round of TV talks [The Huddle]
Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu finally has a legitimate reason to keep his long hair: endorsement opportunities. Courtesy of Mondesi’s House, above is Polamalu’s new commercial for Head & Shoulders, where he lets his freak flag fly.
Pretty clever, but was Polamalu insinuating that the reporter was making eyes at his Samson-like mane? That’s not right.
I just hope this is as far as he takes it. I don’t think I could handle seeing him in a L’Oréal hair care commercial with Beyonce. Not because he’s not “worth it,” as their slogan goes, but it would be a shame for Beyonce to have to share the camera with a someone with better hair than her.
Oh snap!
[H/T Mondesi's House]
Uhhh…Word Up? Homey?
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Straight trippin’, dawg. And look at the guy, Sean McAdam. He may look straight-laced on the outside, but the guy is totally street, mutherfucka. He’ll put you on notice by looking at him sideways, G. He ain’t playin’, either – the turf war between him and Bob Ryan over at the Boston Globe was a goddamn bloodbath.
You best not be frontin’ on MC Adam’s crew, bitch. Homey don’t play that. And if your bitches talk shit, he’s gonna have to put the smack down.
Yes, that is the best I can do with the street lingo. As you can probably tell, I haven’t listened to hardcore rap in years. You know, like Snow and shit like that.
Bee-yotch.
Red Sox must be trippin’ [Boston Herald]
• MLB Roundup. Chris Carpenter threw nine innings of one-hit ball, striking out 10 as the Cardinals blanked the Brewers 3-0. Brad Penny won his home debut for the Giants, giving up two earned runs while striking out 6 in seven innings as San Francisco beat the Padres 9-4. Mark Buehrle won for the first time since his perfect game July 23rd, going eight innings as the White Sox beat the Red Sox 5-1. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• U.S. Open. Five points away from losing in straight sets, 17-year-old Melanie Oudin rallied to beat 13th seeded Nadia Petrova 1-6, 7-6 (2), 6-3. Oudinn had already knocked Maria Sharapova and Elena Dementieva in the tournament. [USOpen.org]
• PGA Tour. Steve Stricker birdied his final two holes yesterday to win the Deutsche Bank Championship. After the win, Stricker is now ranked number two in the world and number one in the FedEx Cup standings. [PGATour.com]
• I’m pretty sure I gained 5 pounds just by reading this story. Meet Dallas resident Abel Gonzales, Jr. – a man with a dream. His dream was to figure out a way to make the world’s most obese nation just a little bit fatter, and daggum, he’s done it with his culinary invention: deep-fried butter. Few believed it possible, but the dream has been realized. “It’s like a mix between a biscuit or a croissant that is just stuffed to the gills with butter on the inside,” Gonzales said. “I think that’s the best way to describe it.” The concoction will be unveiled to the public at the Texas State Fair later this month, a place where Gonazales previously unleashed deep-fried coke on the unsuspecting masses. Yum. [MSNBC]
• College Football. Tulsa at Tulane. I have a feeling this matchup is going to be tullible. Sorry, just got back from the dentist. [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
• U.S. Open. Live coverage of the men’s second round and women’s third round, featuring Venus Williams vs. Magdelena Rybarikova . I wonder what country Magdelena hails from…probably France. [ESPN2, 7:00 ET]
• Double Feature Movies of the Night. First Blood and Rambo: First Blood Part II. Definitely some of the finest films by Sly Stallone. Plus these movies put incredibly dangerous hunting knives into the hands of hyperactive kids everywhere in the 1980s. [SPIKE TV, 7:46 ET - what the fuck kind of time is that? Asshats]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. King Kong. The 1976 version starring Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange. Haven’t ever seen it? I’ll give you a couple of reasons, after the jump.
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (September 3rd)
Posted by:• Magnakai Haaskivi’s Cleveland Browns preview. (Note: guys, my Vikings preview will be in your inbox Monday evening at the lastest) [Style Points]
• Taking an early look at the BCS. [The Phoenix Pub]
• NFL offensive coordinators are dropping like flies. [With Leather]
• Sexy Friday: Labor Day edition. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Sports Illustrated picked the Bears to go to the Super Bowl? The fuck? [Mouthpiece Blog]
• Phenomenal Swag: Michael Jordan bowling ball. Sweet. [Ball Don't Lie]
May I introduce you to SI’s Cheerleader of the Week, Lizzie Bellinger. She is a senior majoring in journalism at the University of Kansas.
For those of you who frequent the site (thanks Upstate Underdog and White Speed Receiver!), you are no doubt familiar with the usual routine around here when the weekly installment of SI’s profile of a college cheerleader is published. I usually find some defect, usually physical, and hammer away on the poor girl. But this week, it’s different. You see, I can’t find anything wrong with Lizzie. Sure, she’s not the a total knockout, but she’s cute enough. Her defect, however, can be found in her answers, not in her appearance.
C’mon, dude. I don’t know where this guy was in the ’90s, but Cake sang “The Distance,” not Beck. Get with the times, man.
Jesus Christ on a cracker, when is this day going to end?
And yes, I’m aware that this post is total filler weaksauce, but it’s not like anyone is reading this anyway. I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?
Speaking of which, I love that song. Deep Blue Something rules. I wonder what they’re up to now.
Beck goes the distance, Ravens beat Falcons 20-3 [Yahoo!]
