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Cricket Coach Believes That The Key To Success Is Plenty Of Wet & Sticky Wickets

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Finally, a coach had the guts to buck tradition and say that not only does abstaining from sex not help a player’s performance, it may actually hinder it.

Enter Gary Kirsten and Paddy Upton, the coach and mental conditioning expert, respectively, of the Indian cricket team. The squad is currently preparing for a match in the Champions Trophy tournament against hated rival Pakistan on Saturday and the South African coach has encouraged his players to make sure their “stumps” are getting plenty of action in the “crease,” so to speak. In fact, Kirsten is so gung-ho on the theory that he has distributed pamphlets to his players educating them on the benefits of a little prematch “dibbly dobbly.”

The document, according to the daily, said sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness.

“Conversely, not having sex for a period of a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone levels in both males and females, with the corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression,” it said.

So, India cricket players, don’t be a “mullygrubber”, do a “full toss,” and before you know it, you will be the “Man of the Match.” Just be sure to wrap your “nurdle.”

Is that enough cricket references for you? Yes?

India coach tells cricketers that sex improves performance [SI.com/AP]

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