Archive for September, 2009
As regular readers of the Sportress are painfully aware of by now, I tend to like to poke fun at the Cheerleader of the Week feature over on Extra Mustard (a wonderful site, I might add) on SI.com. More often than not, it’s mostly good-natured ribbing, other times it’s simply to point out the extremely large breasts of that particular week’s cheerleader.
A few weeks ago, I profiled Lizzie, a cheerleader at the University of Kansas, in a post titled “SI’s Cheerleader of the Week Has A Thing For Guys Who Slap Their Women Around,” and the interesting choice she made for celebrity crush: Chris Brown.
We all know about the terrible things Chris Brown did to Rihanna and I gave the young lady a bit of crap about her crush. If you look back at the post, on September 8th, commenter ChalmersForThree, who must be an acquaintance of Lizzie’s, pointed out that “Actually, Lizzie filled out the SI.com bio sheet in December 2008 (because the photos were taken during the Insight.com bowl), which was before the Chris Brown incident.”
Fair enough.
Today, the Sportress received another comment on the post, this time from binkerman, who stated, “It is advisable to check sources and resources before posting. In the article re: Lizzie’s celebrity crush it says, “My celebrity crush is:Dermot Mulroney”
Now this bugged me. I went a checked the profile of Lizzie and sure as shit, her profile now reads that Dermot Mulroney is her celebrity crush.
I don’t care that they changed it on her behalf. In fact, I applaud it. Someone should have noticed how her answer didn’t look so great nearly 10 months after Lizzie filled out her questionairre.
But I will not be accused of not checking sources (and resources, even!). I may be a cheat, a liar and a terrible writer, but I can tell you one thing: I am not a Communist.
• MLB Baseball. Minnesota Twins at Detroit Tigers. Game three of the four game series. The teams split the first two, so Detroit remains two games up. By the time this series is over, everyone is going to be sick of the Twins and Tigers. [ESPN, 7:00 ET]
• College Football. Hawaii at Louisiana Tech. It must suck having to leave Hawaii for a game – unless you’re terrified of water and/or poi, then I bet you would be pretty excited. [ESPN2, 8:00 ET]
• Now I’m hungry. Throwdown with Bobby Flay. Episode: Lobster Club Sandwich. I’m not sure how tasty a club you use to kill lobster would taste, but I’m sure Bobby Flay can pull it off. [Food Network, 9:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movies of the Night Mashup. It will take A Few Good Men (FX, 8:00 ET) to take on this Octopussy (WGN, 8:00 ET).
• Kimbo Slice’s makes his UFC debut tonight on Spike TV’s “Ultimate Fighter.” Isn’t this guy’s 15 minutes just about up? If I were him, I would strike while the iron is still lukewarm and start opening up Kimbo’s Slice pizza franchises. [With Leather]
• lowercase does a phenomenal job projecting the BCS. A lot of this shit goes way over my head, but lowercase does superb work breaking it all down. [The Phoenix Pub]
• LeNoceur, who incidentally is now in favor of contraction after having to write all of these, previews the San Jose Sharks. [Melt Your Face Off]
• In a show of mercy, the Cleveland Indians have finally fired manager Eric Wedge. [Big League Stew]
• More on the retarded idea to say “Brett Favre” tons of times on a retarded television show. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• OMG! Landon Donovan is a finalist for US Soccer National Team’s player of the year…again. [Bootlegger Sports]
This has to be one of his new, crazy, offbeat characters, right? Clinton Portis, on a Washington radio program, made it official that he hasn’t given up hope on his Redskins squad. Via The Huddle:
“As a team, I think we have something special and we can do something special, and I think we will do something special.”
“All of the sudden we suck, we’re the worst team in the NFL because we lost to the Lions,” he told the radio station. “The Lions got good players, man. We’re 1-2, there’s a lot of teams that are 1-2. We’re in a situation we’d rather not be in. Have we ever started out 1-2? Yes we have. Is it a situation we can get ourselves out of? Yes, we can….”
Yes they can! Yes they can! Yes they can!
(realizes that Jim Zorn hasn’t been fired and is still the Redskins coach)
No they can’t! No they can’t! No they can’t!
Who says when the chips are down you can’t stick to your guns and hope for the best? Who says that when you are the first team to lose to the Lions in 20 games, everyone has to jump ship? Who says that 1-2 means it’s the end of the road?
On second thought, I’m sticking with the theory that Portis is giving us a sneak preview of a new character. Let’s call him Professor Demetrius Dementia.
Clinton Portis says fans overreacting, ‘Skins can still ‘do something special’ [The Huddle]
Before even getting to the column, let me answer the question posed in the headline: fuck and no.
Jay Cutler isn’t the next anything yet. And to compare him to Tom Brady at this point is idiotic at best. Let’s do a quick rundown of the two quarterbacks – nothing scientific or stats based, simply on the most basic observations.
Thankfully, there are talented people around like LSUfreek. I really didn’t know how I felt (or whether I even cared) about Herschel Walker signing a deal with MMA organization Strikeforce and how UFC president Dana White mocked and ridiculed the decision. But now I know that even if I don’t care that much about it, I can still be entertained by hilarious animated .gifs about the topic. Thanks again for making me laugh, LSUfreek.
A little background, for those who are interested. If not, it’s fine to simply marvel at LSUfreek’s work. I won’t mind.
• Serena Williams will be appearing in a new Tampax commercial. You would think all the testosterone, not to mention the presence of a penis between her legs, would make that product unnecessary for her. [With Leather]
• Festus T. Bowgater is back and he’s here to solve the problems of professional athletes everywhere. [Style Points]
• Mark Sanchez’s jersey is the number two seller on NFL.com, behind only The Gunslinger. [Busted Coverage]
• Speaking of Favre, fuck you, ESPN. On next Monday’s episode on SportsNation, they are going to try to break the record for the most times a show mentions the name Brett Favre. What show are they trying to beat? Today in Wranglers Commercials? [Awful Announcing]
• Any post with the title, “Matthew Berry Needs A New Pair Of Pants” gets a link. Well done. [Second-String Fullback]
• Interesting read on whether newspapers should allow their sportswriters to appear on ESPN shows when ESPN is putting them out of business. [The Big Lead]
Ron Artest has had his fair share of setbacks when it comes to interactions with fans, to say the least. But from the looks of this photo, he’s not going to sit idly by while the residents of the city of Los Angeles refuse to get pumped up for a World Series run by the Dodgers.
Introducing the newest superhero: Crazy Basketball Player Baseball Mask Avenger Guy! I don’t know if I’m supposed to be terrified of that image or slightly amused. Maybe both.
From Big League Stew (photo – including several more of Lakers players – via Ball Don’t Lie):
At any rate, the Lakers used part of Tuesday’s Khloe Kardashian Q&A session media day to tape some fan safety bits for the Dodgers’ postseason. Given all the troublemaking that can happen at Chavez Ravine, the pointers will be welcome and this may be the only occasion Ron Artest can wear a mask and wield a bat without giving anyone a heart attack.
Indeed. But which is worse, as far as unhinged NBA players are concerned? Ron Artest with a bat in his hands and a crazy look in his eyes or Rasheed Wallace tossing around a prosthetic leg? That’s too tough (and insane) to call.
Ron Artest and fellow Lakers start getting behind the Dodgers [Big League Stew]
Ron Artest is in your nightmares, running amok [Ball Don't Lie]
Rasheed Wallace, Fan of Kansas City…and Prosthetics? [Style Points]
I’m not going to bet on it, but could it be possible that Auburn head coach Gene Chizik is a closet Lil’ Wayne fan?
Unlikely, yes, but when you consider the team’s new motto, it might make a little more sense: “Do What We Do”, which for those of you who aren’t as up on the hip hop game as this playa, is a song off Lil’ Wayne’s mixtape, The Drought Is Over. I can imagine Chizik busting out these lyrics while he takes a minute to get pumped up before a game. Can’t you?
A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by Jim Brown against Electronic Arts alleging that the company used his likeness in the Madden video game without his authorization and that they changed his number on the Cleveland All-Time team from No. 32 (which he wore) to No. 37 to avoid a lawsuit. The judge ruled that Electronic Arts was exercising its First Amendment rights when it used Brown in the video game.
From United States District Court Judge Florence-Marie Cooper’s ruling:
“The Madden NFL video games are expressive works, akin to an expressive painting that depicts celebrity athletes of past and present in a realistic sporting environment,” Cooper wrote. She found that game users would not be likely to conclude that Brown had endorsed the Madden NFL product. But she left open the possibility for Brown to file a new lawsuit in California state court under a right-of-publicity claim.”
• MLB Roundup. After winning the first game of the doubleheader 3-2, the Twins lost the nightcap to the Tigers 6-5, returning Minnesota to two games back of Detroit. Colorado beat Milwaukee 7-5 in 11 innings and Atlanta fell to Florida 5-4, meaning the Rockies’ lead in the NL wild card now stands at three games. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• National Football League. Dolphins QB Chad Pennington was lost for the season with a shoulder injury and Miami has traded for Kansas City Chiefs QB Tyler Thigpen for an undisclosed draft pick. [Miami Herald]
• NBA. Cleveland Cavaliers guard Delonte West as a no-show for two wo rkouts at training camp for the team for what Cleveland general manager is calling “a personal matter.” West was arrested for gun possession recently and has been diagnosed as having mood disorders. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
• This will make college life a lot less educational. Tufts University has banned sex in dorm rooms when a roommate is present. The decision has supporters among the students but also those who disagree with the school trying to control them. Freshman Jon Levinson doesn’t like the policy: “I don’t believe it’s the university’s place to determine what goes on in a room,” Levinson said. “Personally, I wouldn’t want to have sex in front of my roommate, and my roommate wouldn’t want to have sex in front of me.” Prude. Now what is his roommate going to post on the internet to get back at Jon? [MSNBC]
I like to think we have a nice little nomadic community with Last Call. We all meander our way from one blog to the next every night, seeking only dick jokery and a place to hang out for an hour or two.
Thankfully, we haven’t had someone like David Daramy make his presence known at any Last Call. To wit:
• Major League Baseball. Minnesota Twins at Detroit Tigers. The Twins won the first game of the doubleheader earlier today 3-2 in 10 innings. They are now 1 game back of Detroit. See if they can tie it all up. [MLB Network, 8:00 ET]
• WNBA Finals. Game 1. Indiana Fever at Phoenix Mercury. You never know, this could be the last one. Witness history in the making. Or don’t. I know I won’t be. [ESPN2 10:00 ET]
• The Office Marathon. Six back-to-back episodes. Not too shabby. [TBS, 8:00 ET]
• Basic cable movie of the night. Slap Shot. Classic. Enough said. [Versus, 8:00 ET]
• Another phenomenal edition of LOLNFL. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Bobby Valentine is joining the ESPN baseball analyst stable. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Herschel Walker wants to fight Dana White. [The Sporting Blog]
• A very tasty edition of Chick-A-Click today. [Busted Coverage]
• Do not tweet on Rex Ryan’s watch. [With Leather]
Former major-leaguer Chuck Knoblauch surrendered to authorities and faces domestic assault charges relating to an incident where he allegedly struck and choked his common-law wife. It is believed that Knoblauch was drinking heavily and taking Xanax at the time of the alleged assault.
The incident, which was witnessed by a family friend, occurred when Knoblauch and his soon-to-be ex-wife were in argument and she reportedly took Knoblauch’s keys and would not let him leave their Houston-area home. She is expected to make a full recovery.
As many of you may recall, Chuck Knoblauch played second base in the major leagues for 12 years, including on the 1991 World Series champion Minnesota Twins, a season in which he earned American League Rookie of the Year honors. His career took a collossal turn for the worse after being traded to the New York Yankees. He developed the yips, not able to even make the routine throw to first base.
His attorney believes that charges shouldn’t even have been filed relating to this incident. If I were Knoblauch’s counsel, I would say he was trying to hit and choke someone else – maybe Keith Olbermann’s mom – you know, if she wasn’t dead already.
One last thing: is it just me, or does it look like the Knoblauch family, photographed above leaving his deposition before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee in Washington on February 1, 2008, look like they are dressed up for Halloween as the Torrance family from Kubrick’s The Shining? They look creepy, man.
Ex-Yank Knoblauch accused of hitting wife [New York Post]
Chuck’s Angels [New York Magazine]
