Archive for August, 2009
Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Cab?
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When you can make a Billy Ocean/Corey Haim/Corey Feldman reference in one post you know you have a good story. And that’s just what we have here with news that the cabbie that was allegedly roughed up by Chicago Blackhawks right winger Patrick Kane and his cousin in Buffalo didn’t even have a driver’s license at the time of the alleged assault.
Jan Radecki, 62, reportedly has two drunken driving convictions and he did not have a valid driver’s license at the time of the incident.
Radecki, according to public records cited by the newspaper, has had a cab license in the City of Buffalo since 1996, but his driver’s license was revoked in December 1998 after he refused to submit to a chemical test.
Well, if driving a taxi cab illegally without a driver’s license doesn’t give a passenger in said cab carte blanche to beat the crap out of the driver over $0.20, I don’t know what kind of world we are living in anymore.
You still have to love the Coreys, though. My hope is the next controversial sports story involves a gang of teenage vampires and in some way, Jason Patric. That guy needs something to jump-start his career.
Cabbie in Kane case reportedly had invalid license [Sporting News]
Neighborhoods across America will be a lot safer due to being free from the menacing presence of sex offenders prowling the streets now that it has been announced that NBC has signed a deal with USA Gymnastics to broadcast more live US gymnastics events.
The agreement, combined with domestic and international contracts NBC has with swimming, skating, track and skiing, gives the networks the lion’s share of the coverage of U.S. teams in five key Olympic sports at a time when the U.S. Olympic Committee is trying to start its own channel.
This is good and great for additional exposure of a great sport, but will this somehow interfere with NBC’s stellar NHL coverage? I’m pretty sure it will.
NBC signs deal to air more live US gymnastics [SI.com/AP]
People would often laugh at me (at least more than usual) when I would tell them one day, Tim McGraw and the Black Eyed Peas will share the same stage at a concert and it won’t be due to the maniacal orchestrations of Charles Manson in order to incite a race war. But who’s laughing now that it has been announced that the aforementioned acts will appear on September 10th at the “NFL OPENING KICKOFF 2009 PRESENTED BY EA SPORTS”? That’s right – me! Ha!
There will be simulcast coverage of the 30-minute pregame show which will air from 8-8:30 PM ET on NBC and NFL Network. The live pregame broadcast will also be available via NFL Mobile Live only from Sprint.
The performances are part of the celebration to kick off the 2009 season and to honor the six-time Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers and the city of Pittsburgh.
Sweet Jesus, who are the people in charge of booking these events? Does the average NFL fan give two flying fucks about Tim McGraw, or for that matter, the Black Eyed Peas? Why don’t they throw in the Jonas Brothers and Miley Montana while they’re at it?
Maybe I’m just getting too old and out of touch for my own good. Because if it were up to me, I would have “got the party started,” as the kids say nowadays, and went with the dream combo of Boz Scaggs and Supertramp. Now that would have been one happenin’ gig, man.
NFL announces free concert prior to Sept. 10 Kickoff game [NFL.com]
I always feared this day would come but hoped it wouldn’t come to this. Hammerin’ Hank Goldberg, ESPN’s resident NFL and horse racing handicapper, finally ensured that if he couldn’t have Chris McKendry, no one would. You can almost see her in there, struggling to get out. Tragic.
Sadly, this seemed destined to happen from the beginning. I remember enjoying the chemistry the two shared as they casually flirted on Sunday morning SportsCenters during the NFL season when Goldberg would make his picks and ESPN had the intelligence to showcase their most charming and talented female anchor.
But now it is not to be – forever. Hank, the savvy gambler that he is, knew the cards were stacked against him and that the only thing for him to do was go all-in and consume the lovely sports anchor. I have been wondering where Chris McKendry has been recently. Now I know the horrible truth.
Shame on you, Hank Goldberg. Shame on you for how your selfishness has deprived the world of our Chris McKendry.
• All kidding aside, what is hanging out of Michelle Wie’s pants? [Waggle Room]
• Style Points correspondent Festus T. Bogwater goes on an NFL training camp tour. [Style Points]
• Looking back at John Daly’s 1991 PGA Championship victory. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Gossip columnist Cindy Adams thinks A-Rod has got a huge schlong. [Walkoff Walk]
• First Derivative eulogizes the Mets. [The Phoenix Pub]
• Try and see if you can figure out which items are fake and which ones actually appear in the NFL’s strict dress code policy. [Bootlegger Sports]
Jamie Moyer’s Feelings Got Hurt
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Amid the buzz surrounding Pedro Martinez’s first start for the Phillies tonight against the Cubs, there is some somber news to report: 84-year-old pitcher Jamie Moyer is not happy with his demotion to the bullpen that occurred when Martinez took Moyer’s spot in the rotation. Via The700Level:
“I’m really not happy with this decision that the Phillies have made,” he said, sitting in the stands behind the first-base dugout. “I will take what they’ve asked me to do, but I’m not really excited about the decision that has been made. Ultimately, I’m a little dishearted because this past winter when I was negotiating with the Phillies this was a sore thumb, if you will, about this potentially happening.
Not happy? You know what I’m not happy about, Mr. Moyer? Shelling out eight bucks to watch you half-ass your way through Ernest Goes To Jail. It was blatantly obvious you signed on to do the sequel solely for the paycheck. Whatever happened to artistic integrity?
No kidding? They’re not the same person? And the guy who played Ernest has been dead for years now? Huh. Well you coulda fooled me, Vern.
Quotable: Jamie Moyer is Disheartened, Feels Misled [The700Level]
What? You think they’re just okay? If that’s the case, then why are there photos surfacing of you joining the band up on stage during a concert at Foxwoods Resort & Casino in Connecticut this past June? This isn’t your first time, either.
The fine folks at Uncoached dug up the goods:
Huey Lewis called him up on stage to sing “Walking on a Thin Line.” Surprisingly enough, word is it wasn’t too bad (and evidently he’s done this several times before).
Olympic gold medal-winning softball player Jennie Finch has signed on with Massachusetts-based company ProMounds Inc. to be the spokesperson for one of their products.
I haven’t read the article (who has the time for that?), but with a name like ProMounds, this product obviously has something to do with breast augmentation, and I think that’s just really sad. Finch is an incredibly-attractive young lady and the fact that she’s going to shill for some boob job company clearly illustrates how our culture is obsessed with image and outward appearances, not what’s on the inside.
• MLB Roundup. Mike Lowell hit a solo homer and a two-run shot after replacing Kevin Youkilis, who was ejected after charging the mound when he was plunked by Rick Pourcello (who was also ejected) in Boston’s 7-5 win over Detroit. Ben Francisco hit a leadoff home run in the 12th inning off Cubs closer Kevin Gregg as Philadelphia beat Chicago 4-3 despite only getting three hits. Dan Uggla drove in the game-winning RBI in the 11th as Florida rallied from five runs back to beat Houston 9-8. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• NCAA Basketball? Rick Pitino has admitted to police that he had sex with the woman who was trying to extort him for $10 million and then gave her $3000 for an abortion. Pitino denied allegations that he raped the woman and that the sex was consensual. [USA Today]
• PGA Tour. Tiger Woods stated that he was not fined by the PGA for comments critical of a rules official’s decision to put the final grouping of Woods and Padraig Harrington at the Bridgestone Invitational on Sunday. According to Tiger, it was an “erroneous report.” [Golf.com]
• Sixty-year old man convicted of groping Minnie Mouse at Disney World. John William Moyer of Cressona, Pennsylvania maintained his innocence but was still convicted for misdemeanor battery and sentenced to “write the victim an apology, serve 180 days probation and complete 50 hours of community service. Moyer must also pay $1,000 in court costs and possibly undergo a mental evaluation” after he allegedly groped a woman in a Minnie Mouse costume. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time, but in this case, you have to wonder about Minnie’s role in this affair. You do know why Mickey left Minnie, don’t you? Because she was fucking goofy. Or Goofy. Well, both, actually. [AOL News]
Unlike many of you young whippersnappers out there, I was a child of the ’80s. And back then, Saturday mornings were all about the cartoons. From 5:00 a.m. until about noon, all the major networks aired were cartoons. For instance, in 1985 (stay with me on this, kiddos), on NBC you had Snorks, Pink Panther and Sons, Smurfs, Alvin and the Chipmunks, something called Kidd Video (I don’t remember that one) and Mr. T.
On ABC, the lineup was Superfriends, Mighty Orbots, Turbo Teen, Dragon’s Lair, New Scooby Doo Mysteries, Scary Scooby Funnies and The Littles.
Finally, on CBS, it was Shirt Tales, Get Along Gang, Jim Henson’s Muppet Babies, Dungeons and Dragons, Bugs Bunny/Road Runner and VidKids.
• PGA Tour. Live from the PGA Championship. Sure, the tournament doesn’t start until Thursday, but how are you going to know who the analysts will pick as their favorite to win the tournament if you dont’ watch? Duh! [The Golf Channel, 9:00 ET]
• MLB Baseball. Chicago White Sox at Seattle Mariners. Tune in to see what Ozzie Guillen does next. [WGN, 10:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. Conan the Destroyer. Honor the death of Eunice Kennedy Shriver by watch her son-in-law not speak a line of dialogue over three words for an entire movie. [G4, 10:00 ET]
• Far frickin’ out, man. That’s Impossible. Tonight’s episode: “Mind Control.” Synopsis: “Technology that allows people to transmit their brainwaves.” Not interested. What would be the sense of starting up my tin foil hat company? [History, 10:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (August 11th)
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• Megan Abrigo, the new host of NBC’s poker show, Face the Ace, is one sexy gal. [With Leather]
• Tom Brady douches it up on Entourage. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Why are so many players on the Miami Dolphins bailing out of training camp? [Shutdown Corner]
• Phil Mickelson believes in time travel. Huh. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Now hold on a second. Broads want to box in the Olympics? Boxing ain’t for dames, man, but you go ahead and tell them. I’m not getting my ass kicked by no skirt – again. Sigh. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Ten ridiculous sports uniforms. [Sportspoop]
The Pedro Martinez Comeback will reach its conclusion Wednesday when the 37-year-old Dominican will come off the disabled list and start for the Philadelphia Phillies against the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field.
Martinez last pitched at the Major League level on September 5th last year for the New York Mets.
Unfortunately, the news of the resurrection of Martinez’s career is dampened somewhat by the fact that Nelson De La Rosa, Pedro’s little friend and good-luck charm during his glory days with the Red Sox, sadly passed away in 2006.
Maybe we can find some other little person to fill the void – they all look alike, right? Maybe Verne Troyer or that guy who played Mickey on Seinfeld. Ah, who am I kidding? Those guys are probably way too busy to take the time out of their hectic schedules. Say, do the Padres have a game scheduled tomorrow? If not, David Eckstein could possibly do it.
Oh, they do have one, huh? Nevermind then. Sorry, Pedro, it looks like you’re going to have to go it alone this time.
Pedro to start Wed.; Moyer sent to the bullpen [USA Today]
Nelson De La Rosa, 38, Actor and Good-Luck Charm for Red Sox, Dies [The New York Times]
Total Pro Sports
The hearts of thousands of girls probably skipped a beat during the Teen Choice Awards (is this the one where celebrities get slimed like You Can’t Do That On Television? There are way too many of these shows now) last night when Mike Tyson cut the hair of one of those Jonas Brothers bastards. Because when I think Teen Choice Awards, I think of a) Miley Cyrus pole-dancing (I’m sorry, that’s inappropriate!); b) Twilight, whatever the hell that is; and c) Mike Tyson cutting some kid’s hair. Obviously, I didn’t catch the show – I was watching a documentary on the Hundred Years’ War on PBS porn.
Thankfully – not so much with the first one (/no pervo) – all three of those things happened last night. Although I am somewhat confused as to why Mike Tyson, of all people, was chosen to cut Joe Jonas’ hair (or was it Tito? Jermaine? I get those Jonas Brothers mixed up all the time – my Teen Beat subscription expired years ago). It’s just that handing Tyson a pair of scissors seems like a bad idea to me, but I suppose with these teen sensations, you have to try every gimmick in the book. Before you know it, the Jonas Brothers will be forgotten as they fade into Bolivian.
Video of said hair-cutting after the jump.
It’s been a sad couple of days for fans of spouses of long-dead baseball players and mentally-retarded athletics as Merlyn Mantle, the widow of Mickey Mantle, passed away Monday in a hospice in Plano, Texas and Eunice Kennedy Shriver, the founder of the Special Olympics, died early Tuesday morning.
Family spokesman Marty Appel said Monday night that Merlyn Mantle died from the effects of Alzheimer’s disease. She had not appeared in public since last August, at a private dinner before a memorial for former Yankees star Bobby Murcer.
Eunice Kennedy Shriver, the founder of a sports movement that changed the world, died early Tuesday morning at Cape Cod Hospital in Hyannis, Mass., with several members of America’s most famous family at her side. She was 88 and had battled for over a year after suffering a series of strokes.
Shriver, the mother of Maria Shriver, often said her work with the Special Olympics helped prepare her for dealing with her son-in-law, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Nah, I’m just kidding, but the world is a little less bright and a lot sadder without these fascinating and inspirational women gone. Who will assume their mantle (no pun intended) and make a difference in the world while carrying themselves with grace, dignity and class? As far as spouses of professional athletes, I’ll go with Anna Benson.
Hey, it could happen.
Widow of Yankees great Mickey Mantle dies [USA Today]
Eunice Kennedy Shriver’s legacy lives on with Special Olympics [SI.com]
