Yet Another SI Cheerleader Of The Week Frightens Me

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In what appears to be turning into a developing trend, I am left simultaneously attracted to while completely terrified of SI‘s “Cheerleader of the Week.” If I may, allow me to introduce Cambria Kattau, a senior from Northern Arizona University majoring in Elementary Education.

As you can plainly see, like all Cheerleaders of the Week, she is quite fetching: cute as a button, nice smile, great body, the works. However, the photographer didn’t do Ms. Kattau any favors by the way he or she shot her. In fact, it almost seems like the photographer went out of his or her way to accentuate a minor flaw in Cambria’s appearance. You see, Cambria has what they refer to in some circles as – shoot, how can I put this nicely – well, she kind of has a “wonk eye.”

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Whoa! I have to tell you, going through her photo gallery, I felt a bit like the narrator in Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart.” I grew concerned that I was becoming obsessed with the her eye and would soon descend into madness.

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Once again, as I have stated previously, I’m no Lorenzo Lamas when it comes to the looks department,  so perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. From the right angles, she looks great. She certainly has an incredible figure (the pierced belly button is definitely a nice touch), but that eye…it haunts me…

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Bah! Be gone, obscene ocular orb of evil! Somebody get me a lantern.

No, forget about the lantern. What good would it do me? Let’s move on to the twenty questions portion and highlight a few of her responses.

  • My best physical feature is: Maybe my smile?

Excellent call, dear.

  • The most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me during a game is: One time, while we were playing against ASU, I was doing a round-off back handspring tuck in the endzone. It was my first college game, and I was a little nervous, so I accidentally over rotated in my back tuck. I ended up having to do a backwards summersault out of it so I didn’t fall over. To make things worse, when I met up with some of my ASU friends after the game, they asked me who the girl was that did a back roll in the end zone, and I had to fess up that it was me.

Perhaps it was a depth perception issue.

  • Five people I’d like to have dinner with (living or dead) are: Dane Cook, Carrie Underwood, Heath Ledger, Cameron Diaz and Will Smith.

Dane fucking Cook? You have got to be kidding me! I would have thought for sure she would say Stuart Scott.

Holla.

Cheerleader of the Week: Northern Arizona’s Cambria [SI.com]

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2 Comments

  1. Cletus McFucknut

    August 22, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I call it “forya” eye…one’s looking at ya, one’s looking for ya. When I come across someone like that I throw a pencil on the floor, then see which eye follows the pencil. The other one’ll be trained on you. McFucknut out.

  2. KT

    October 9, 2009 at 11:53 am

    I’ve run into this girl at NAU a few times after she was selected. SI seriously didn’t do her any favors, she’s gorgeous – like, really really hot. Those all seem to accentuate her forehead and, like you said, the wonk eye.

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