In what appears to be turning into a developing trend, I am left simultaneously attracted to while completely terrified of SI‘s “Cheerleader of the Week.” If I may, allow me to introduce Cambria Kattau, a senior from Northern Arizona University majoring in Elementary Education.
As you can plainly see, like all Cheerleaders of the Week, she is quite fetching: cute as a button, nice smile, great body, the works. However, the photographer didn’t do Ms. Kattau any favors by the way he or she shot her. In fact, it almost seems like the photographer went out of his or her way to accentuate a minor flaw in Cambria’s appearance. You see, Cambria has what they refer to in some circles as – shoot, how can I put this nicely – well, she kind of has a “wonk eye.”
Whoa! I have to tell you, going through her photo gallery, I felt a bit like the narrator in Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart.” I grew concerned that I was becoming obsessed with the her eye and would soon descend into madness.
Once again, as I have stated previously, I’m no Lorenzo Lamas when it comes to the looks department, so perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. From the right angles, she looks great. She certainly has an incredible figure (the pierced belly button is definitely a nice touch), but that eye…it haunts me…
Bah! Be gone, obscene ocular orb of evil! Somebody get me a lantern.
No, forget about the lantern. What good would it do me? Let’s move on to the twenty questions portion and highlight a few of her responses.
Excellent call, dear.
Perhaps it was a depth perception issue.
Dane fucking Cook? You have got to be kidding me! I would have thought for sure she would say Stuart Scott.