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$97 Million? Do You Know How Much Fruit By The Foot That Can Buy?

eli-manning

It can buy a whole bunch, I’ll tell you that. In fact, according to his calculations, Eli Manning will have more than enough cash left over to buy a total fleet of Big Wheels to have the awesomest birthday party ever now that he has signed a six-year, $97 million deal with the Giants, making him the highest-paid player in the NFL.

A person close to the talks who asked not to be identified says Manning is guaranteed $35 million under the deal that will keep him with the Giants through the 2015 season. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the deal was not signed and had not been announced.

There is a chance the deal could be signed Wednesday, but both sides wanted to review the contract, the person said.

To be honest, I’m happy for Eli. Considering he has lived nearly his entire life in Peyton’s shadow and not only has excelled but now will be be out-earning his older brother must feel pretty sweet to the goofy bastard. Although I am concerned how this will go over with Peyton, given his hyper-competitive personality. I wouldn’t be surprised if Peyton tries to get revenge by supergluing Eli’s cock to his stomach at their next sleepover in Mom and Dad’s backyard.

But no matter how it plays out, one thing is for certain: Cooper ain’t invited to the family celebration, that loser. Papa Archie has always regretted not drowning that pathetic excuse for a Manning when he had the chance.

Manning agrees to six-year, $97 million deal with Giants [SI.com/AP]

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