Archive for July, 2009
According to a report filed by NFL.com Senior Columinst Thomas George, sources close to Brett Favre have said that the quarterback will let the world know his plans regarding whether or not he is going to play this season for the Vikings by this Friday.
First of all, my mother always told me to never trust a man with two first names, so that’s one strike against you and your theory, Thomas George. Second, I could give a rat’s ass what these unnamed “sources” say about Favre – ever since this whole debacle began, we have had sources saying one thing or another, frequently contradicting a statement previously made by someone else.
Third, he’s playing. There’s no doubt about it. Why anyone even bothers to speculate on this certainty at this point is a mystery to me. And you know what? We’ll be going through this same goddamn thing 12 months from now.
It’s never going to end.
Favre expected to decide on whether or not to join Vikings by Friday [NFL.com via Access Vikings]
Former above-average NBA player turned-below average NBA coach Reggie Theus, in an interview with Isiah Jones from the website Global Sports Fraternity, said he believes that sports bloggers are a bunch of country bumpkins who never come in contact with real people and are generally a “real pain in the ass.” Here’s the entirety of what Theus said in the interview when he wasn’t getting interrupted by Mr. Jones:
Sports bloggers, um, you know what, yeah, they are very irritating because half of them don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. You know what, it’s a nice venue for people who live in rural areas that don’t get a chance to come in contact…they don’t get a chance to come in contact with real people, so they have to get on the blogs and they just make up stuff and they throw stuff on the wall and see if it sticks…every now and then you run into someone who knows what they’re talking about, um, for the most part, a real pain in the ass.
Damn! Theus must be handing out subpoenas to sports bloggers because we just got served!
Video, via With Malice, after the jump.
As the wonderful Sports Rubbish astutely pointed out in their post, this has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but it is so disturbing, so odd that to not post this “Never Gonna Give You Up”-”Smells Like Teen Spirit” mashup would be a tremendous disservice to internet time-wasters everywhere.
Video after the jump.
• Royals play-by-play man Ryan Lefebvre compares a pitcher to a fetus. Expect the Royals television booth to be firebombed by anti-abortion activists any day now. [Bugs & Cranks]
• Brad the Frat Guy breaks down the weekend in sports. Totally righteous, brah. [Style Points]
• A friendly visit from Backwater Brett, which is always a good thing. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Examining the rise of Phillies General Manager Ruben Amaro, Jr. [More Hardball]
• Rockabye salutes Tom Watson. [The Rookies]
Not surprisingly, Charles Barkley (above, in a photograph from last year’s tournament) finished dead last in the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship and is now concerned for the well-being of swing coach Hank Haney. Barkley, after finishing with a -97 in a modified Stableford scoring system, said that his performance “was terrible” and that he is “ really worried about Hank. Between Tiger and myself, he might kill himself.”
Former Major League pitcher Rick Rhoden won the tournament for the second consecutive year with a score of 74, his eighth overall, earning $125K in the process. Tony Romo couldn’t come through in the clutch yet again, finishing in second place, three points behind Rhoden. But hey, the ladies were all over him:
Romo had a strong showing despite the fawning from single women who were aiming for the affections of the newly unattached Cowboys quarterback. According to the Tahoe Daily Tribune, one woman tried to meet him at the 17th tee, but a sheriff escorted her away.
Other notables were Jeremy Roenick placing fifth and Jerry Rice finishing 10th. An errant tee shot by Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub on the par-3 17th struck a woman in the head, so he had something to remember from the weekend, something you probably can’t say for the lady who took the ball off her noggin.
Rhoden wins Tahoe golf event again; Barkley finishes last again [San Jose Mercury News]
Tahoe Celebrity Golf Official Site]
As other professional sports are forced to face the grim reality of the uncertain economic climate, the American rodeo soldiers on, undaunted and unfazed. And why wouldn’t it? Making it through World Wars, the Great Depression, the release of Urban Cowboy and 8 Seconds, the rodeo understands how to deal with tough times and has always stood strong as a family-friendly event where fathers and sons and mothers and daughters can enjoy watching animals and humans maimed and possibly killed.
For all of you horndoggers out there desperate to catch a glimpse of the Erin Andrews video, be forewarned: you might just find yourself with a computer virus. Via Game On!:
“Hackers are no slacks when it comes to taking advantage of a hot internet search trend, and they have been quick to set up bogus webpages claiming to contain the video footage of Ms Andrews in her hotel room,” said Graham Cluley of Sophos.
I suppose that is as good a reason as any to avoid the video. Considering the ethical and legal implications that downloading or linking to the video bring about, this is the last time I intend mention it here on the Sportress. It would be for the best on many levels if this video controversy went away quickly and quietly. That way we bloggers can get back to doing what we do best: dick jokes and posting photos of attractive female tennis players.
It was such a simpler time back then, wasn’t it? Yeah, last week was great.
Erin Andrews hotel tape being used to spread computer virus [Game On!]
Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live [Deadspin]
Everybody Hates David Beckham
Posted by:
The loyal fans of the Los Angeles Galaxy really let David Beckham have it during his first game back with the team after returning from a five month loan to a European club, waving anti-Beckham signs and booing him lustily throughout the team’s match against AC Milan. Evidently, the fans have been none too pleased with Beckham’s globe-trotting ways and it is more than likely that his teammate Landon Donovan’s harsh criticism helped fan the flames.
Things appeared to be at a tipping point when a fan had to be subdued after jumping out of the stands after Beckham provoked him by waving the fan over to him. The man was ultimately arrested by Cal State Dominguez Hills police for trespassing.
“One of the guys was saying things that wasn’t very nice. It was stepping over the line. I said, ‘You need to calm down and come shake my hand,’ and he jumped over.”
Yeah, it is always a brilliant idea to suggest to a person who is screaming at you to approach you and come closer just to “shake hands.” Smooth move, Becks.
Nevertheless, I’m a bit confused by the sign shown in the above photo. I don’t know about anyone else but how does referring to Beckham as the father of modern psychology such a dig? “Go Home Freud?” That’s just weak.
Beckham confronts fan in home return with Galaxy [FoxSports]
• The Open Championship. Stewart Cink won his first major but will unfortunately be probably looked at as the guy who ruined a fairy tale ending after he defeated 59-year-old Tom Watson in a four-hole playoff at Turnberry. Watson only needed to par the 18th hole to become the oldest Major champion but could not get up and down for par after his approach shot found a greenside bunker, missing an 8 foot putt. [PGATour.com]
• MLB Roundup. In perhaps his last start for the Blue Jays, Roy Halladay struck out six and walked none in a complete game as Toronto defeated Boston 3-1. Jason Marquis became MLB’s first twelve-game winner as Colorado defeated San Diego 6-1. Bobby Abreu’s 10th inning home run off reliever Andrew Bailey accounted for all the runs scored as the Angels beat the A’s 1-0. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• Tour de France. Alberto Contador won the 15th stage and seized first place. He presently leads teammate Lance Armstrong by 1 minute, 37 seconds, good for second place. [Yahoo!]
• Seeing good old fashioned American ingenuity applied to onions makes me tear up a little bit. Gills Onions, the largest onion producer in the United States, is now using onion waste to “educe its electric bill by $700,000 (429,000 pounds) a year and cut its annual greenhouse gas emissions by up to 30,000 tons. Somehow, bacteria produces methane gas from the juice. [Yahoo!/Reuters]
Weed Against Speed’s Day Off
Posted by:
Sorry folks, Old Weed is fried and needs a day off from the rat race. I’m packing up my gear and journeying North further into God’s country to do a little bit of fishing this weekend. And since the Sportress is a one-man operation, there will be no posts today.
I’ll be back on Monday feeling refreshed and ready and raring to go.
Be good everyone. Have a great weekend.
U.S. Alpine Skier Cody Marshall is in critical condition at University Hospital in Salt Lake City after falling somewhere between 20-30 feet off an escalator.
U.S. Ski Team spokesman Tom Kelly says the 26-year-old Marshall was out with teammates when he fell off the escalator rail about 12 a.m. Thursday in a mini-mall in downtown Park City, Utah.
Jesus, that’s just terrible. My best wishes go out to Cody, his friends and his family. Here’s to Cody making a full recovery.
But isn’t it always somewhat strange when something like this happens to a person like Marshall, who risks serious injury every time he straps on the skis to do the thing he loves? It’s just like those stories you read about where the guy that goes jogging every day drops dead of a heart attack. Or to put in a way that makes sense to most of us, if a blogger were to choke to death on a Bagel Bite.
It just isn’t right.
Skier suffers head injuries after fall from escalator [SI.com/AP]
• MLB Baseball. Finally! Milwaukee Brewers at Cincinnati Reds. [MLB Network, 7:00 ET]
• 2009 World Cup. Softball: Netherlands vs. United States. Wait a second, there is a World Cup of Softball? What’s next? The World Series of Poker? [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
• Lacrosse. The MLL All-Star Game. Cheer on the most popular players from the MLL. You know the ones – those guys. [ESPN2, 10:00 ET]
• Basic Cable Movie of the Night. Braveheart. Tune if for the violence, stay for Sophie Marceau. [TNT, 10:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (July 16th)
Posted by:
• Chris Berman gets ignored by TMZ. [Deadspin]
• MJD interviews Detroit Lions rookie quarterback Matt Stafford. [Shutdown Corner]
• Part One of KSK’s Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• 10 awesome one-punch knockouts. [Uncoached]
• Be sure to check out the Hex’s Top 10 must-miss games of the upcoming NHL season. [Melt Your Face Off]
• samerochocinco explains why he is a fan of the San Francisco Giants. [The Rookies]
Jesse Ventura appeared on Larry King Live and after he assured Larry off-camera that he wasn’t the Grim Reaper, proceeded to bash Brock Lesnar’s post-fight behavior at UFC 100, but insisted that he thinks MMA is “teriffic” and “very professionally done.” Said Ventura, via Fanhouse:
“I was ashamed of his behavior at the end of the fight. These guys are honorable, they’re respectful, these guys volunteer to do it, the referees are very good.”
Sheesh. If a guy that used to professionally wrestle and wear feather boas believes your behavior was shameful, you must have really screwed up big time. No, let me rephrase that: if a guy that used to be a politician believes your behavior was shameful, you must have really screwed up big time.
Video after the jump.
That’s a frightening mental picture, wouldn’t you agree?
Actually, Navratilova mannishly threw down the gauntlet stated during an interview that if the Williams sisters hope to tie or beat her record nine Wimbledon titles, they better giddy-up (Venus has five, Serena has three).
“They’ll have to play a lot of years to catch up,” Navratilova said in a phone interview. “Venus really needed to win this year. The closer you get to 30, the body starts slowing down. It doesn’t obey as well.”
Content with her statement, Navratilova scratched her crotch, lifted up one asscheek to cut one, then went to the bathroom and took a piss standing up.
Good for her, that kooky lesbian.
Navratilova: Williamses must hurry to catch record [The Associated Press]
