Wake N’ Blog For July 16th: Finally, A Public Setting Where A Person Can Fondle A Mannequin Without Shame

• NHL. John Tavares, the first overall pick in the draft by the New York Islanders, signed a three-year entry level contract with the team. [NHL.com]

• Courts. Former NFL running back Travis Henry has been sentenced to three years in person prison for his role in a cocaine distribution ring. [Denver Post]

• NFL. Terrell Suggs became the highest-paid linebacker in NFL history after he agreed to a six-year $63 million contract with the Baltimore Ravens. [The Baltimore Sun]

• After my lesson at the Amora Sex Academy, I took my study mannequin out for a ride on my motorcycle through the streets of Berlin while we listened to “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship. At the Amora Sex Academy, people are instructed on how to improve their lovemaking skills by working on the errogenous zones of naked mannequins. There are “[m]ore than 50 interactive displays guide visitors through the intimate areas of the male and female bodies, offering helpful tips on everything from striptease to oral sex and how to achieve a perfect orgasm.” If you find yourself in Berlin with some extra time on your hands, be sure to stop by the exhibit and try out the “Spank-o-metre,” which measures how pleasurable your spanking technique is to a mannequin.  Nope. Nothing weird about that. [Yahoo!/Reuters]

Note: for those of you too young to understand my “taking a mannequin out for a ride on a motorcycle” reference, after the jump is the trailer for the movie Mannequin.

Do you see? Do you see the sort of garbage we had to watch in the ’80s? Look at it! Look at it!