Archive for June, 2009
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (June 12th)
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• Ewww! Gross! “Ronaldo Almost Certainly Did Paris Hilton.” [With Leather]
• Bobby Big Wheel takes on Adam Dunn. [Style Points]
• University of Minnesota football head coach Tim Brewster is full of shit. [Bootlegger Sports]
• Photos of Carrie Underwood playing softball. [Epic Carnival]
• An AFC East Preview with the title, “The AFC East Will Rock Your Grandchildrens’ Dicks. Can’t miss. [The Rookies]
• Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon is slow in other ways than just in the head. [Walkoff Walk]
Leryn Franco, the Paraguyan javelin-thrower gal, is back in the news and not just for being unbelievably gorgeous, which to me seems reason enough for her to be discussed – apparently, she was back to tossing the javelin around recently and the great Busted Coverage has dug up some video.
Barry, Barry, what were you thinking, dude? You see, it’s okay for bloggers like myself to take potshots at The World Wide Leader In Sports, but for a newspaper man like yourself who depends on contacts, access and reputation to ply their trade, criticizing ESPN is effectively a death blow to your career. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, sir.
You see, Barry Jackson writes a column for The Miami Herald called the “Florida Sports Buzz,” something he has been writing since 2002 and has been with the paper since 1991. The title and theme of today’s Florida Sports Buzz column was “ESPN, going on 30 years, has room for improvement.” Some of the topics addressed (which are all spot-on, by the way) are the following:
• Mulleted maniac Billy Jack Haynes ain’t right in the head. [With Leather]
• Brett Favre speaks! At least, I believe this qualifies as speech. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Breaking news! Houston Astros General Manager Ed Wade suspected of conspiracy to commit murder. [Style Points]
• chilltown ranks the 10 best facial hair in sports. [The Rookies]
• John Daly’s return to the PGA is a good story and we’re all pulling for him, but what did we really expect? [Devil Ball Golf]
• ESPN nitwit Merrill Hoge will be appearing at Jeff Fisher’s charity roast. Hilarity, I’m sure, will ensue. [Deuce of Davenport]
• I had forgotten about YouTube Sports internet sensation Nicole LaFosse since With Leather had a post about her several weeks ago, but photos like this definitely reminds me why we should pay attention to this talented young lady:
Oh, Jason Whitlock, what would we ever do without you?
The controversy-starting columnist comes out swinging in his analysis of last night’s Magic-Lakers game, even going so far as purporting that “Stan Van Gundy needs his ass beat” (direct quote). I don’t know, claiming that Van Gundy deserves bodily harm to be inflicted upon him due to the outcome of a friggin’ basketball game may border on going a little bit too far.
You know, except for the “if it comes back to you, it is yours” part. Methinks the organization would prefer no further association with the guy.
Unable to work out a trade, the Atlanta Falcons have officially released Michael Vick. He is now able to pursue any opportunities to play football that come his way. Oh, just as long as NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell reinstates him, which might be the more difficult aspect of the equation.
Good luck with that, Michael.
Falcons release suspended QB Michael Vick [Atlanta Journal Constitution]
NBA Rookie of the Year Derrick Rose would like to apologize for a photo that has surfaced of him flashing a gang sign representing the Gangster Disciples Nation at a party which was reportedly taken when he was a freshman at Memphis. From a statement released by Rose:
“This photo was taken at a party I attended in Memphis while I was in school there, and was meant as a joke … a bad one, I now admit. In posing for this picture, I am guilty of being young, naive and of using extremely poor judgment. I sincerely apologize to all my fans for my mistake.”
Racism In NASCAR? Now I’ve Heard Everything
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Just when you think you have everything figured out in the world of sports, life throws you a curveball.
Bryan Berry, crew chief for Nationwide Series driver Brendan Gaughan, has been suspended indefinitely for using a racial slur regarding driver Marc Davis, who is black.
Bryan Berry apparently used the slur as he walked toward the Nashville Speedway garage to confront Davis during Saturday night’s race. At least two people heard the slur and reported it to NASCAR, which investigated the claims before suspending Berry.
I simply cannot believe what I’m reading…
There are black people in NASCAR? Color me surprised!
Shin-Soo Choo game-winning, walkoff hit off Kyle Farnsworth in the 10th inning ricocheted off a seagull away from Coco Crisp and rolled to the wall as the Indians defeated the Royals 4-3.
Man, Cleveland sure has problems with members of the animal kingdom disrupting games. In 2007, a swarm of bugs disrupted Game 2 of the ALDS between the Indians and the Yankees.
All I know is “I Ran” was probably not one of the songs played in the Royals’ clubhouse after the game. Not because the song is by Flock of Seagulls, but because I have on good word that no one on the Royals likes ’80s music.
Additional non-ESPN video after the jump. At least, until MLB decides to pull it because the video got posted without its expressed written consent.
• NBA Finals. The Magic absolutely blew an opportunity to tie this series up 2-2 by not being able to hold a lead in the second half, not making it’s free throws and not even bothering to contest a three-point shot near the end of regulation as the Lakers beat the Magic 99-91 in overtime in game 4 of the series, going up 3-1 and essentially putting this series out of reach for Orlando. Derek Fisher hit the a tying three-pointer with 4.6 seconds left that was barely contested, sending the game to overtime, the first time since 1984 that two Finals games have went to OT. Dwight Howard was a beast everywhere but the free throw line, with 16 points, 21 rebounds and an NBA Finals-record 9 blocked shots, but was an atrocious 6-14 from the stripe – just terrible. Kobe Bryant had 32 points, 8 assists and 7 rebounds in the win. Hedo Turkoglu scored 25 for Orlando. [NBA.com]
• MLB Roundup. Suck on this, blogger guy! Raul Ibanez hit a three-run homer in the 10th inning, propelling the Phillies to a 6-3 victory over the Mets. It’s now nine wins in a row for the Red Sox against the Yankees after their 4-3 comeback victory. Geoff Bloom had the game-winning hit for the second consecutive game, leading Astros over the Cubs 2-1 in 13 innings. Shin-Soo Choo single to center that hit a seagull (!) drove in Mark DeRosa in Cleveland’s 4-3, 10 inning victory over Kansas City. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• PGA Golf. Playing for the first time on the Tour since finding out his wife had breast cancer, Phil Mickelson shot a 2-under 68 in the first round of the St. Jude Classic, putting him four strokes behind leader Grian Gay. Other notables include Jose Maria Olazabal, who is battling arthritis pain, fired a 4-under 66 and John Daly, who is attempting yet another comeback, had his putter fail him, firing a 2-over 72. [PGATour.com]
• If I had a nickel for every time I got baked after eating weed at a dog park, I’d have…ummm…wait – what was I saying? An 11-year-old Labrador Retriever mix named Jack got stoned out of his gourd after eating some pot he found at a Seattle dog park. His owner said the dog’s eyes were glossed over and he couldn’t walk. The dog ended up okay after his owner made him some doggie nachos, put on The Lord of the Rings trilogy and gave Jack time to just mellow out, man. [AOL News/AP]
Every once in while, a person (my mom) asks me, “How do you come up with new ideas for your blog?”
I have a blog. Sometimes, blogs need new features. I think about what sort of new feature I would like to do. I come up with a new feature. It’s just that simple!
Today, we roll out “Weed Against Speed Answers Questions Posed In Headlines”, or WASAQPIH for short. And no, I don’t know how to pronounce it. The premise is simple, really. I pick out headlines that pose a question and do my best to answer them with witty retorts. The name of the feature pretty much explains it – except for the witty retorts part – I didn’t want people to accuse me of lying in a feature title.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
• NBA Finals. Game 4, Los Angeles Lakers at Orlando Magic. Can Orlando even up the series? I’m not sure, but I do know one thing: Jimmy Kimmel wishes this was a best of 70 series. [ABC, 9:01 ET]
• Yet another example of something ESPN would rather air instead of hockey. Incredible Dog Challenge. The peanut butter challenge is a bit inappropriate, in my opinion. [ESPN2, 9:00 ET]
• Calling All Cougars. She’s Got The Look. One show’s quest to find the next over-35 model. But why is this on TV Land? This confuses me greatly. [TV Land, 9:00 ET]
• Boxing. Juan Garcia vs. David Rodela. It would have been better if the fight had been between Sergio Garcia and David Duvall. I’m not kidding, I can’t stand either of those guys. [Versus, 9:00 ET]
• If you haven’t seen this movie, your opinions on cinema have no merit. Seven Samurai. Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece, which was later remade as the western The Magnificent Seven. Perhaps one of the finest films ever made. [TCM, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (June 11th)
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• Run for your lives! Stephen A. Smith now has a podcast! Oh, the humanity! [Awful Announcing]
• Sean Avery has a new summer job. Unfortunately, it doesn’t involve cleaning out slop sinks. Get it? No? Ugh. [The Rookies]
• Lenny Dykstra’s Rolls Royce got repossessed. Shakey speculates how it might have gone down. [Style Points]
• Suggestions for how Gary Bettman should spend the $100 million relocation fee if the Phoenix Coyotes move. [Puck Daddy]
• The Top 10 Fringe Benefits of Sports Blogging. Number 11: All the Bagel Bites you can eat! [on 205th]
Damir Dokic, (pictured above – he’s the guy with the righteous’ beard!), estranged father of tennis player Jelena Dokic, has been sentenced to 15 months in prison for making death threats against the Australian ambassador to Belgrade.
I covered his arrest here at the Sportress previously, but here’s a quick synopsis:
Dokic was arrested in early May after local media reports quoting him as saying he would “attack the ambassador and her husband with a stinger missile.”
Police found two hand grenades and 20 bullets in his house for which Dokic had no permit, in addition to seven hunting rifles and a handgun which he owned legally.
Dokic’s alleged threats came after his daughter Jelena, once ranked fourth on the WTA tour and battling to rediscover her form, was quoted in Australia’s Sports & Style magazine as describing the torment she endured under him.
See, I don’t see this kind of behavior coming from the completely normal-looking-not-at-all-crazy man in the above photo. In fact, I picture him as the type of guy that’s worse crime was handing out too much candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween.
Ah, I’m just kidding. The guy looks absolutely nuts. You know, I need something to clear my head – perhaps photos of Jelena will do the trick…what do you think?
Graphic By Big League Stew
This whole Raul Ibanez-steroids, blogger vs. mainstream media has officially become one hot mess. We all know now that Jerod Morris of the blog Midwest Sports Fans pored over Ibanez’s stats, ballpark data, etc., came to his own conclusion and wrote an incredibly detailed post regarding his findings. When these were relayed to Mr. Ibanez, it resulted in the slugger having a complete meltdown. Shit, Jerod Morris even got an appearance on ESPN’s Outside the Lines out of it.
Now, everybody who cares to has weighed in on the topic. These people are clearly far better writers and journalists than I will ever be, so I will not waste your time providing my opinion. What were their opinions, you ask? I don’t know – I didn’t read them.
Nope, instead, I used the time I would have spent reading their thoughts and instead used it to do some in-depth analysis to try to figure out what is the real cause of Raul Ibanez’s recent productivity surge.
