Archive for June, 2009
Michael Phelps will compete this weekend in the Quebec Cup at the Olympic Park Pool in Montreal.
Let’s think about this for a moment. Michael Phelps is spending the weekend in a city renowned for its strip clubs? Good news for strippers, bad news for Michael’s wallet.
“Shots of vodka on the Phelpster!” If I could give Phelps one piece of advice, I would tell him to get in touch with the crazy Canukistanians over at Four Habs Fans. Not only are they Montrealites (?), the tag “strippers” on their blog has 100 posts! That’s dedication and attention to detail, people.
Alright, enough about Michael Phelps – I’m bored with him – how about more Montreal strippers?
Amid swirling rumors that the Cleveland Cavaliers are interested in attempting to somehow acquire Yao Ming from the Houston Rockets, the 7’6″ Chinese center maintains that it is all “unknown.” The speculation is that the Cleveland Cavaliers are interested in Yao not only for his athletic ability, but also for his marketability, as a group of Chinese investors recently signed on as co-0wners of the Cavaliers. Trying not to get caught up in any controversy, Yao did his best to make it a non-story:
Dodgeball can be a dangerous game to play. Every year, hundreds of kids are injured playing the game at school in gym class – and that’s not even including the injuries sustained at the hands of their teachers.
By the way, what did you think of that literary reference in the title, readers? Pretty impressed I bet, huh?
Alright, I can tell you’re not very impressed at all, but your disappointment is nothing compared to how the local authorities feel about Daniel Sanabria of New Rochelle, New York. What did he do? During a substitute teaching gig at Daniel Webster Elementary School, in the heat of an argument with a 10-year-old boy in gym class over dodgeball, of all things, the Sanabria choked the kid. Yep.
• Buy your dad “Punch Out” and download a Punch Out-themed card. Everybody wins. Except for the person that loses. [FirstCuts]
• Dealing with “The Lebron Situation” Pulp Fiction style. Awesome. [Amphibious Sports Duo]
• Punte sounds off on the UFL Draft. Yeah, it happened. No, seriously, it did. [With Leather]
• Sean Leahy provides an in-depth recap of the NHL Awards Show. [Puck Daddy]
• On the flip side, Hex reveals who were the winners of this season’s “NHL Lasties.” [Melt Your Face Off]
• Shakey reveals what he believes were the best comments of the week from Deadspin. [Style Points]
• Maria Sharapova flashing? This I gotta see! [Sports Rubbish]
Above you will find video of some extracurricular activities that occurred in the stands of Citizens Bank Park yesterday during the Phillies’ 8-7 loss to the Blue Jays.
I could be wrong on this, but my guess is their fighting over cheesesteaks. The location of where you can find the best cheesesteak in Philly is the only reason people from the City of Brotherly Love feel the need to come to blows, right?
Well, either that or Donovan McNabb, I guess.
[H/T Busted Coverage]
How in the hell did we ever manage to get through an entire day at work before Al Gore invented the internet? There were only so many games of Free Cell and Spider Solitaire you could play over an eight-hour period, right?
Much like when CBS streams the first two days of March Madness, productivity in offices across the country is sure to take a nosedive as ESPN and the USGA are streaming coverage of the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black today, and I have to tell you, the video quality is prettay, prettay, prettay good. The link to the USGA video player is right here, which can also be found by going to the Official Site of the USGA.
You’re welcome.
After the jump, a pretty comical screengrab that makes Phil Mickelson appear shitfaced.
So I head out to the mailbox yesterday evening to…check the mail – what else was I going to do? Play tiddlywinks with it? Jeez.
Anyway, what did I find among the assorted bills, ads, several court summons, a package for my neighbor from the “Pocket Pussy of the Month Club” (he’s a bit off) and a love letter from Rue McClanahan (don’t ask – that broad clearly does not understand how a restraining order works)?
Well, if you guessed my brand-spanking new issue of ESPN The Magazine, treat yourself to a Vanilla Wafer. You earned it.
No Homo(s)?
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Egyptian midfield Mohamed Homos became a national hero after he scored the lone goal in Egypt’s shocking 1-0 win over Italy in the Confederations Cup semifinals.
Homos. Heh. His name is another word for gays. I bet he took a lot of ribbing due to his name from his classmates at Susanna Hoffs Elementary School. Yeah, she’s pretty popular over there.
Homos the Confed Cup hero as Egypt stun Italy [Yahoo!/AFP]
I Smell Sitcom!
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Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki has filed for sole physical custody of the unborn child now being carried by his ex-girlfriend Crystal Taylor.
Taylor was arrested May 6 at Nowitzki’s home in north Dallas. The 37-year-old woman was indicted in Sept. 2006 on a theft of services charge for not paying a Beaumont dentist for 2004 dental work worth from $1,500 to $20,000.
Taylor is still in the Jefferson County jail and that’s where she was served with Nowitzki’s petition to adjudicate parentage.
Dirk had her served in jail? Cold-blooded, man!
• MLB Scoreboard. Craig Stammen earned his first major league victory, combining with four Nationals relievers to shut out the Yankees 3-0. Tommy Hanson pitched six scoreless innings and Nate McLouth had four RBI in Atlanta’s 7-0 blanking of Cincinnati. Matt Garza fell to o-3 in his last six starts as the Rays fell to the Rockies 4-3. Francisco Rodriguez blew his second save of the season as Aubrey Huff drove in the game-winning run as the Mets lost to the Orioles 5-4. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• U.S. Open. With rain likely to be a constant presence over the weekend, play at the 109th U.S. Open will unlikely finish on Sunday for only the third time in history. Journeyman Jeff Brehaut got to enjoy last night, going to sleep as the leader of the U.S. Open, finishing 11 holes and going 1 under. Tiger is at 1 over through six and Phil Mikelson (as well as half of the entire field) had not begun his round. [PGATour.com]
• NHL. Alexander Ovechkin secured his second consecutive Hart Trophy as NHL MVP at the NHL Awards Show last night in Las Vegas. Other winners included Tim Thomas with Vezina Trophy (top goalie) and Calder Trophy (Rookie of the Year), Zdeno Chara with the Norris Trophy (top defenseman) and Boston head coach Claude Julien won the Jack Adams Award (coach of the year). [NHL.com]
• When I Read The Headline “Man Sets Off Fireworks In Bathroom In Del. Arby’s”, I Thought It Was In Reference To Gastrointestinal Fireworks – I’m Serious – Have You Ever Eaten One Of Their Beef N’ Cheddars? Some dumbshit set off fireworks in a toilet at a Delaware Arby’s. The toilet was damaged, no one was injured and the man fled the restaurant in a brown truck. Although they will not admit he is a suspect in the vandalism, police are on the lookout for this person of interest:
He wishes he had never been broiled! [Yahoo!/AP]
The NFL has indefinitely suspended Donte Stallworth without pay after the wide receiver pleaded guilty to DUI Manslaughter earlier this week.
In a letter to Stallworth, NFL commissioner Robert Goodell said Thursday the player’s actions caused “irreparable harm to the victim and his family, your club, your fellow players and the NFL.”
All of the hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth regarding the questionable (and minimal) punishment Stallworth received for his actions aside, this is a above everything a terrible and tragic story that left one man dead and one man’s life, if not completely ruined, changed forever. Who knows if Stallworth will ever be allowed to play in the NFL ever again and maybe, if Stallworth can be believed, might be the furthest thing from his mind anyway.
Just sad.
Browns WR Stallworth suspended indefinitely by NFL [Yahoo!/AP]
• PGA Golf. U.S. Open Championship: Best of the First Round. This is scheduled to go on for three hours, so I imagine the last two hours and forty-five minutes they will just show rain pouring down on Bethpage Black. It will kind of like those Yule Logs you can watch on television during the holidays but infinitely lamer, if that’s possible. [ESPN, 8:00 ET]
• Major League Baseball. Detroit Tigers at St. Louis Cardinals. Matt Vasgersian and Victor Rojas call the action, so there’s always a chance for subtle racism.
• College Baseball. NCAA World Series. Arizona State vs. North Carolina. Will the baseball players competing tonight earn a college degree? Not if they want to make it in the Big Leagues! [ESPN2, 7:00 ET]
• National Hockey League. The NHL Awards Show. Live! From Las Vegas! Hockey players! C-List celebrities! Exclamatory statement! [Versus, 7:30 ET]
• Yet another movie that has no business on basic cable. Grandma’s Boy. To be honest with you, I’ve never seen this movie – and from what I’ve heard about it, I won’t bother watching this version of it. [FX, 8:00 ET]
• Find out how this woman managed to get a man to marry her only to kill him. Snapped: Jocelyn Dooley. Hoo boy, is she a homely, evil looking thing:
Cool glasses, though. [Oxygen, 10:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (June 18th)
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• Keep on a lookout for a shark mascot – it might want to hump you. [Dirty Tackle via With Leather]
• The weather is so bad in New York, the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black may never start again. I heard Tiger is building an Ark. [Devil Ball Golf]
• Handicapping the NHL Awards Show in Vegas tonight. I’d bet on awkwardly-dressed foreigners. [Puck Daddy]
• Skeets previews some more phenomenal swag – this time it’s a Michael Jordan lunchbox. Sweet. [Ball Don't Lie]
• A “Fire Joe Morgan” takedown of a column by Larry Brooks of the New York Post about A-Rod. [The Phoenix Pub]
• Miguel Olivo of the Kansas City Royals is a terrible player – let Minda count the ways. [The Rookies]
And Now, In Rio News…
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Lots of stuff (well two things) about Rio/Brazil in the news today.
First off, the city of Rio de Janeiro appears to be making serious headway in becoming the front runner to host the 2016 Olympics.
Lou Piniella, in a rambling statement discussing the latest news that Sammy Sosa was on the list of 103 baseball players that tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, had this to say regarding his knowledge of illicit drug use:
“I wouldn’t know…I wouldn’t..uh…I wouldn’t know a steroid from a reefer. I’m tellin’ ya the truth.”
Video (courtesy of Mouthpiece Sports) of Piniella’s groovy thoughts after the jump.
