Archive for June, 2009
Holy Crap, Did That Just Happen?
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I’ll be the first to admit to not being a die-hard soccer fan. Sure, I watch the World Cup every four years (which is probably much more than most other Americans), and I take a casual interest on the World Cup qualifying, but even I cannot help but get swept up in the fervor surrounding the Americans shocking Spain in an unbelievable 2-0 victory on goals by Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey, Spain’s first defeat since 2006.
Instead of attempting to analyze what went right for the U.S. – or perhaps more fittingly, what went wrong for Spain – I am instead going to simply enjoy the victory.
Now it’s up to the U.S. team to not rest on their laurels (as they have frequently done in the past when some level of success is achieved), but to use this victory as a springboard to bigger and better things on the global soccer stage.
But for now, let’s savor the victory. We can start worrying again come Sunday when the Confederations Cup championship match takes place. Bring on Brazil! No, actually, bring on South Africa – let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
United States beats Spain 2-0 [The Associated Press]
• Major League Baseball. New York Yankees at Atlanta Braves. I’m pretty sure these two played against each other in the World Series once, but then again, the 90s are pretty hazy for me. [ESPN2, 7:00 ET]
• College World Series. Game 3, LSU vs. Texas, and this one is for all the marbles. I can barely contain my excitement. Oh wait, yes I can. [ESPN, 7:00 ET]
• Golf. Big Break XI: Prince Edward Island. Here’s your chance to catch up on what happened on Monday’s episode as well as see what the fuss over hottie Blair O’Neal is all about – in moving pictures!! [The Golf Channel, 10:00 ET]
• Perhaps gain insight why this guy’s movies continue to blow your mind after 1,000 viewings. Stanley Kubrick: A Life In Pictures. The genius behind Dr. Strangelove, 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange and Full Metal Jacket, among others, is profiled. Well worth the time spent watching. [AMC, 8:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (June 24th)
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• MYFO is having an open casting call for talented writers who would like to join the team and blog about hockey. It’s a great group of guys to work with, so if you’re interested, do not hesitate to give it a shot. By the way, there may be some hazing if you are lucky enough to make the cut – if you know what’s good for ya, you’ll buy one of those inflatable pillows beforehand. [Melt Your Face Off]
• KSK”s “This Week In Fuck You” is all about that irritating carpet-muncher Ellen DeGeneres and her retarded dancing. To tell you the truth, I didn’t realize how much I couldn’t stand that broad until I read this – I recommend you do the same. You must feed the hate, people. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Which groups are going to be the most pissed off about President Obama throwing out the first pitch at the All-Star Game? Business_Socks has the inside dish. [Style Points]
• San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum loves him some Choco Tacos. No, that’s not a racial thing, it’s an ice cream treat. [Big League Stew]
• Deep inside the whole Florida Marlins fans fighting New York Yankees fans brouhaha. [Deadspin]
• Last but not least, head on over to Holy Taco and check out the cover of Internet Commenter Weekly magazine. I cannot stop laughing about it. Well, it’s either that or the tank of Nitrous I stole off the loading docks of the medical center down the street. [Holy Taco]
Leave it to a line from Mr. Pink to completely express how I feel about the dreadful, simply dreadful news that rookies entering the NBA this year will likely not receive the obscene amounts of money from sneaker companies that we are accustomed to seeing – the companies are simply not willing to pay. This leaves these players with few options when negotiating an endorsement contract with the shoe companies.
This leaves agents and players with a choice that top draft picks have never really had. They can sign for any money they can get now or they can have confidence in their ability and sign a deal when they have some stats to add leverage to the game.
What do you mean? We’re expecting these kids to actually prove their they’re (I CAN SPELL GOOD!) decent basketball players at the professional level before Nike, Adidas, etc. throw buckets of money at them? Surely you jest!
Hopefully, these guys will be able to squeak by on the paltry sums they get paid to play basketball. According to MyNBADraft.com, the rookie pay scale for players coming into the league last year ranged from $4.019 million for the first overall choice all the way down to just under $798K for the last pick of the first round.
Man, I would hate to be the 30th pick in the NBA draft and only be guaranteed nearly $800K to play basketball. It’s dire economic straits like this that made Latrell Sprewell unable to feed his family.
Bad Year For NBA Draft Pick Shoe Deals [Sports Biz with Darren Rovell]
His Airness must be hemhorraging money at the poker tables or something.
Jeffrey Jordan has elected to drop basketball at the University of Illinois next year to focus on his studies, according to an AP report.
The second-year player who walked on with the Illini said Wednesday he plans to focus on his studies. He says he’s ready for “life after basketball.”
Uh-huh. I see. For those of you who don’t speak Rich-kiddish, “life after basketball” directly translates in English to “living off the money my dad is holding for me in a trust account which I receive on the condition that I graduate from college.”
Not too shabby. I bet if Scottie Pippen had a son, he wouldn’t have received such a sweet deal. Not because Scottie would have been tougher on his kids than Michael is, but because Scottie Pippen is flat frickin’ broke, of course.
Michael Jordan’s son dropping basketball for studies [SI.com/AP]
Scottie Pippen Lost 27 Million Dollars [Rhymes With Snitch]
Who woulda thunk it, huh? Mike Krzyzewski is the highest-paid employee at Duke. No, it’s not the President, the Dean or the “fixer” who manages to sweep the many rape allegations made upon the school’s student-athletes under the rug – although I imagine he makes a decent chunk of change as well. Nope. It’s Coach K.
The school’s most recent IRS documents were obtained Wednesday by The Associated Press. They show that Duke paid men’s basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski more than $3.6 million during the fiscal year that ended June 30, 2008.
In retrospect, it should be hardly shocking that Mike K-r-y – no – K-z-y – no – K-y-z – fuck it. I spelled that rich-ass cocksucker’s name once -that’s enough – it should be hardly shocking that Coach K makes the most money considering how many dollars he pumps into Duke’s coffers.
Speaking of his name, I think he should do everyone a favor and legally change his name to Coach K, just like Chad Johnson changed his to Ochocinco. Sure, he would have to update his license and credit cards – but not his Social Security card, of course. Why? Because, as Dick Vitale says, “Coach K is not of this world, BABY!!!”
(note: the image used above comes courtesy of Steve Schafer, whose artwork can be viewed and purchased at the site Durhamartist. If you have to get your hands on a Coach K print, you might be out of luck. It appears that there are none for sale through the web site. You might just have to commission Mr. Schafer to paint another one. Or become an art thief – either way works)
At $3.6M, Coach K by far Duke’s richest employee [FoxSports/AP]
This morning’s “Fun with Headlines” post comes from The Miami Herald and it deals with two – count ‘em – two! – volleyball tournaments set to take place in the Miami area over the coming weeks:
“Two tournaments make Miami center of volleyball universe”
Wow! The center of the volleyball universe? Is that where nets are galaxies and planets are merely ethereal orbs that bumped, set and spiked back and forth across the heavens by the gods? Far out!
What I enjoy perhaps most about this story is the first sentence:
“If it seems like Miami’s female population grew a couple of inches in the past 24 hours, there’s good reason.”
Huh? What does that even mean? How does a population grow in terms of inches? Regardless, if these were two tournaments happen to involve the lovely ladies of beach volleyball, I know what population might grow a few inches…
The population in my pants, and the time is long overdue for its census to be taken…
Speaking of making no sense, what in the hell did that mean? Can’t worry about that now.
Two tournaments make Miami center of volleyball universe [The Miami Herald]
• Nostalgia alert! Taking a look back at the Top 10 SportsCenter commercials from the 90s. [Uncoached]
• Tragic, terrible news. Aplington-Parkersburg High School football coach Ed Thomas was shot and killed in the weight room of the high school. The inspirational story of how he kept his team and community together after their town was obliterated by a tornado in May of 2008 makes this all the more heartbreaking. Thoughts and prayers, etc. [The Sporting Blog]
• On a much, much lighter note: photos of the Missouri Hooters Car Wash Team. Hey, if there are teams, it’s a sport. [Busted Coverage]
• Business_Socks explains why the U.S. sucks at soccer. [Style Points]
• Wsyh reports that the Winter Classic at Fenway will feature the Flyers-Bruins. [Puck Daddy]
• Big ups to Bootlegger Sports for discovering one of the most unintentionally disturbing videos ever to hit the internets:
Yowsers.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!1!!11!!
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Okay, gotta relax here. Take a few calm, measured breaths. Hoo boy.
I hate to break it to all of you, but Maria Sharapova has lost in the second round of Wimbledon to Giesla Dulko, losing 2-6, 6-3, 4-6.
That means no more Maria on the grand stage of Wimbledon until next year. And what’s the next major? The U.S. Open? But that’s not until late August!
Not fair, man.
Sharapova upset by Dulko at Wimbledon [The Associated Press]
LSUfreek, regularly featured over on The Sporting Blog, has once again demonstrated his mastery of animated .gifs, people.
Apparently, Tennesse Titans runing back Chris Johnson has decided he is changing his nickname from “Dash” to “Dream”, thereby ending his partnership with fellow running back Lendale White and their “Dine and Dash” joint moniker.
But that’s not really what’s important right now. What is important is taking the time to enjoy the sublime genius of LSUfreek. And to utilize one of the cheesiest films of all-time, Clash of the Titans, starring Harry Hamlin as Perseus and Laurence Olivier as Zeus, is a wonderful touch.
By the way, the fact that Olivier chose to take this role still blows me away to this day – it’s similar in scope in terms of the question, “Why in the hell would such a legendary actor compromise their principles to take part in a film like this?” as when Brando portrayed Zor-El in Superman: The Movie. Some things just don’t make sense.
One thing that does make sense, though, is the awesomeness of LSUfreek’s work. Keep on keepin’ on, sir.
Dine and Dash Was a Better Nickname Anyway [The Sporting Blog]
Already mentioned on Deadspin, Devil Ball Golf and InGameNow (which has a wonderful gallery of additional photos if you click through, by the way), it appears that Blair O’Neal is about to take the blogosphere by storm, if she hasn’t already.
Despite her appearance on several other blogs, I feel compelled to you, my readers, to ensure that you are aware of this young, budding talent. To paraphrase something the wise Norm once said on Cheers, “It’s a dog-eat-dog world in the Land of Blog, people, and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.”
Her rise to internet stardom is fueled by the fact that O’Neal is currently appearing on The Golf Channel’s reality show Big Break XI: Prince Edward Island, which is described on its website as follows:
Well, the fans cheered Manny during his first appearance as an Albuquerque Isotope, so I guess all must be forgiven is the Steroid Saga of Manny Ramirez, right?
Fans lined the walkway from the clubhouse as Ramirez entered the field. They gathered near the dugout, clustering for autographs, and they seemed ready to forgive Ramirez for violating baseball’s drug rules.
“People love me everywhere I go,” Ramirez said before the game. “I’m excited to bring a lot of joy to a lot of people here. I feel good. I’m happy that I’m here.”
New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Has Dsylexia
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It’s not uncommon in the NFL for players to hide things, whether it be a nagging injury to personal problems at home. To admit having a difficult time with something is a sign of weakness, which is never something a player desires to become common knowledge.
The same goes in coaching – no coach wants the guy on the opposite sideline to believe they have an edge – which makes it all the more surprising that rookie head coach Rex Ryan has courageously admitted he has dyslexia.
“It was really frustrating,” Ryan told The Associated Press. “So much of school, you have to write, but I just struggled. I couldn’t help it.”
Coming from a family whose mother had a doctorate in education and a father who is considered one of the greatest defensive minds in NFL history made it especially frustrating, causing Ryan to wonder, “I was like, ‘What the heck’s wrong with me?”‘
Despite his trials and tribulations with his condition, Ryan hopes to be an inspiration to others who struggle with dyslexia.
“For the weaknesses I have with spelling and all those other things with being dyslexic, I have a lot of other strengths also,” Ryan said. “I want people to know that you can have dyslexia and still reach your goals.”
And for that, I commend Ryan – for his courage and for his desire to be a person others can look up to. Nevertheless, I simply hope his dyslexia doesn’t interfere with his regular job duties. For instance, here’s an example of play Ryan drew up for a recent minicamp:
• MLB Roundup. Using four pitchers, Atlanta threw a second consecutive shutout, beating the Yankees 4-0. Zack Greinke got his first win in almost a month, pitching eight innings as Kansas City defeated Houston 2-1. Joel Pineiro pitched a two-hit shutout as the Cardinals beat the Mets 3-0. Philadelphia pounded Tampa Bat 10-1 in the first meeting between the teams since the Phillies eliminated the Rays in last season’s World Series. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• College World Series. Freshman Taylor Jungmann pitched a five-hit complete game for the Longhorns, as Texas forced a decisive third game by beating LSU 5-1. Game 3 is at 6:00 Eastern today. [Official Site of the College World Series]
• NHL: Steve Yzerman, Brett Hull, Luc Robitaille and Brian Leetch have been chosen for induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame. This is the first year of eligibility for all four players. [NHL.com]
• Wimbledon. Venus Williams easily handled Stefanie Voegele 6-3, 6-2 and Ana Ivanovic struggled, dropping the first set 5-7 but held on, winning the final two sets 6-2, 8-6 to beat Lucie Hradecka. On the men’s side, Andy Roddick beat Jeremy Chardy 6-3, 7-6 (7-3), 4-6, 6-3 and Andy Murray handled Robert Kendrick 7-5, 6-7 (3-7), 6-3, 6-4. [Official Site of Wimbldeon]
• Who Woulda Thunk Placing An Ad On Craiglist Selling Pot Would Be A Terrible Idea? Undercover detectives arrested Christopher Gray after buying a $45 sack of weed from him after they responded to his Craigslist ad which was titled “420 help is here” and read “Give me a ring if you need some help” and provided his phone number. In Craigslist marijuana ad, pot sells you! Down the river, that is. Is it to early for a Yakov Smirnoff joke? Or too late? [Yahoo!/AP]
Of course, the title of tonight’s Last Call is an homage to Adrian Peterson’s awkward effort of whipping up the fans into a frenzy at a Wild game last winter. Long story short: the Wild bring in a local celebrity to lead the crowd in the chant, “Let’s Play Hockey!” before every home game, and Adrian, clearly confused, screwed up a three-word line. I guess he won’t be starring in that remake of The Longest Yard everyone has been talking about lately.
Really? They already made it? Huh.
Alright, let’s move it inside, shall we?
