Archive for June, 2009
John Daly went to court and came out a winner Wednesday, obtaining a restraining order against his estranged wife, Sherrie, which will prevent her from attending the St. Jude Classic. The tournament, which Daly will compete in, begins today and is being held at Southwind golf course - Sherrie’s home just so happens to be on the golf course. Well, not on the golf course, exactly – she doesn’t live in a bunker (although I imagine she’s woke up in one once or twice) – her house borders it.
• Okay, that headline might be a bit misleading, but there sure are a lot of cats on the website. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• Sweet fancy Moses look at Drew Brees’ hair! [The Sports Hernia]
• Be sure to enter the tip contest for “The Football Fan’s Manifesto”, the new book by Michael Tunison a/k/a Christmas Ape. That’s just awesome. Congrats, Ape. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Be sure to take a gander at Chuck Knoblauchhead’s Twenty Favorite Sports Movies. Today, #20-14. [The Rookies]
• Meet Jason Giambi’s road beef, Marisa Peck and she’s not too shabby for a greasy caveman. What’s that? Do you think she might just be interested in his fame and money? Why doesn’t anyone believe in love anymore? [The Big Lead]
• The Dallas Stars immediately filled their coaching vacancy with none other than Marc Crawford, a not-so-brilliant move by new General Manager Joe Nieuwendyk, at least according to Wysh. I tend to agree. He does have fantastic hair, though – if you’re into the Sonic the Hedgehog look. [Puck Daddy]
You know, because everyone residing in Wisconsin is a raging alcoholic. And fat – real, real fat.
The Milwaukee Brewers organization have instituted a program where fans can anonymously text message security at Miller Park when they witness inebriated, unruly and/or disruptive fans behaving inappropriately. Wait, isn’t every single person in attendance at Brewers games drunk and unruly by default? Here’s how it works:
The system is simple: Fans can send a message with the shortcode Brewers, then the numbers 41513. Fans can detail what the problem is and do so anonymously.
♪♪ He’s wanted (wanted!), dead or alive…♪♪
Sweet Christ, I can’t believe I just did that. I deserve to be savagely beaten for that one.
And to be accurate, he’s not wanted dead or alive, just wanted, after failing to turn himself in to authorities.
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(Globe Staff Photo /Suzanne Kreiter)
Are you morbidly obese or hope to one day become so? Do you have a hankering for a big old greasy cheeseburger and have thirty bucks burning a hole in your pocket? If you’re in Boston, you better get your fat ass over to McGreevy’s sports bar and order up a Josh Beckett Big Mouth Burger. Named after the surly Boston Red Sox pitcher and unleashed upon the world May 21st to wreak havoc on cholesterol counts, this artery-clogging feast is described as follows on McGreevy’s menu:
• MLB Roundup. Gil Meche had a career-high 11 strikeouts and pitched seven innings as the Royals belted out three homers in their 9-0 win over the Indians. Chase Utley hit a home run in the 11th inning to propel the Phillies over the Mets 5-4. Barry Zito won his second start in a row as the Giants beat the Diamondbacks 6-4. Boston improved to 7-0 against the Yankees this season thanks to their 6-5 victory. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• NHL. Sources are reporting that the Dallas Stars have fired head coach Dave Tippett after seven seasons, according to a report by TSN. The Stars just recently hired Joe Nieuwendyk as their new general manager. [The Dallas Morning News]
• Tennis. Maria Sharapova’s third round match against American Alexa Glatch at the Queen’s Club was delayed by rain yesterday with Sharpova leading 6-3, 5-4. The inclement weather held off long enough for Sania Mirza to defeat Anne Keothavong 6-1, 7-6. [Yahoo!]
• Michigan teen on probation after setting 51-year-old man’s pants on fire at party. You’ve seen it all before: 51-year-old hosts party that teenagers attend. 51-year-old passes out at party and one of the teenagers paints makeup all over the guy’s face and sets a lit candle on the man’s pants to admire his work. Pants catch on fire and burn man’s groin. This story is as old as time. [Yahoo!/AP]
The tell-all book, A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez, is not selling as many copies as the publishers hoped or anticipated and has subsequently vanished from bestseller lists.
Published in early May by HarperCollins with an announced first printing of 150,000, “A-Rod” has sold just 16,000 copies so far, according to Nielsen BookScan, which tracks about 75 percent of industry sales. The book sold 11,000 in its first week, then quickly faded.
Not good news for HarperCollins and certainly not good news for the author, Selena Roberts, who has weathered a virtual shitstorm leading up to and since the book was published.
Which brings me to my main point. I’m no marketing expert, but I’m about to give HarperCollins a lesson in it, free of charge, because they obviously need it:
Here’s a shocking fact: most people won’t buy something they already got for free.
Every juicy detail contained in the book was revealed long before the book was released. Hold something back, give them a taste and leave them wanting more – it doesn’t take a damn genius to figure that one out.
There, now that I have accomplished that, I wanted to let everyone know that I will be performing excerpts from the award-winning “Weed’s Common Sense Lecture Series” on the following controversial topics: “Why Stores Make You Pay For Stuff And Don’t Let You Take It For Free,” followed up by “It’s The Economy, Stupid: The Reason Why Smart Whores Ask For Money Up Front Before Pleasuring A Client.” That last one should be a real doozy.
Fans yawn at A-Rod tell-all [Yahoo!/AP]
Selena Roberts On Verge Of Becoming More Despised Than A-Rod [Deadspin]
• MLB Baseball. New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox. Finally, a game worth broadcasting for tWWL! It sure took long enough. [ESPN, 7:00 ET]
• MLB Baseball. If the Yankees-Sox doesn’t tickle your fancy, how about the Chicago Cubs at Houston Astros? [WGN, 8:00 ET]
• MLS Soccer. Club Deportivo Chivas USA at Houston Dynamo. Hold on a sec – both of these teams are from the U.S.? [ESPN2, 8:30 ET]
• Is this about Jason Giambi? MonsterQuest: Curse of the Monkey Man. [History, 9:00 ET]
• What’s the deal with Country Music Television Showing All These Movie That Have Nothing To Do With Country Music? Stand By Me. Richard Dreyfuss’ best work. Mainly because you don’t have to see him. Regardless, I’m pretty sure he’s the one responsible for getting Corey Feldman hooked on drugs. [CMT, 9:00 ET]
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (June 10th)
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• Do you have $17 million just lying around and don’t know what to do with it? You could by Mike Shanahan’s house. [With Leather]
• The residents of Pittsburgh can’t get enough of Versus’ Keith Jones. [Melt Your Face Off]
• Everybody poops, including Brett Favre. [Style Points]
• Monica Seles is dating some old fart. Oh yeah, he’s also the owner of Buffalo Sabres. [The Big Lead]
• Funny names from the MLB Draft. My favorite is Tyler “Boz” Skaggs. I think you know why. [Bugs & Cranks]
As you can see by the quality of the crudely-drawn logo done by what must have been a special needs child, the city of Indianapolis needs a boost, a pick-me-up – something to make its residents proud of their town. That’s where celebrity endorser/NFL quarterback Peyton Manning comes in, as he has been tapped to be the new pitchman for the Indianapolis Convention & Visitors Association in an effort to boost the city’s (non-existent?) tourism business.
ICVA president and CEO Don Welsh said Wednesday that Manning will donate his time to the association and will be featured on its Web site and in direct mail, e-mail and printed advertisements to convention and leisure travelers.
Leisure travelers? Who in the hell goes to Indianapolis for leisure time? The Amish? Sure, some people may think Indianapolis is a pretty lame city, but don’t count Peyton Manning among them.
Man, did that take a long title to make that joke or what?
Anyhoo, Nick Montana, spawn of NFL quarterback great Joe Montana, has committed to playing college football for the Huskies at the University of Washington. Nick will be a college freshman in the fall of 2010.
• You read that right, brother. Now hop on over there and check them out. [Busted Coverage]
• Now you can play Bethpage Black online virtually. Dude, it’s almost like you’re really there, man. Like, not there in person, but in spirit, man. You dig? [Devil Ball Golf]
• ESPN is Style Points’ Asshole of the Week. Methinks they could wind being a repeat winner. [Style Points]
• Fred Smoot wants to be a professional bowler. He realizes the holes in the ball aren’t for dildos, right? Oh, snap! [D.C. Sports Bog]
• Epic Fail by the person who designed the Baltimore Orioles Twitter page. Oops. [Home Run Derby]
• I’ll read any post with the title “Yo, Jay, Brah, Where Do I Stick My Dick In This Thing?” Wait. That came out wrong. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Finally, a pole valuter causes a pole to explode. No, that isn’t a Nazi joke. [H/T Total Pro Sports]
Rafael Nadal, who is currently dealing with pain in both of his knees, will stop at nothing in his efforts to be ready and able to compete at Wimbledon, which begins June 22nd, even if it requires flying in the face of thousands of years of mathematics.
Manny Ramirez met with his teammates on Tuesday night and afterward met briefly with reporters. During said meeting, Manny elected to address his 50-game suspension. Of course, his opinions were interesting, to say the least:
“I didn’t kill nobody, I didn’t rape nobody, so that’s it, I’m just going to come and play the game”
Hey, wait a darn second! Those statement are double negatives! Is Manny implying that he did kill and/or rape someone?
Double negatives aside, the thing is, you weren’t suspended for killing or raping someone, Manny. You were suspended for using PEDs. If you had been suspended for raping or killing a person, your statement would have been relevant, but since you weren’t, it’s useless.
And even if Ramirez had killed or raped somebody, we would have all just shrugged it off as Manny Being Stabby or Manny Being Horny, right? Because the “Manny Being” meme isn’t completely worn out just yet, is it?
Oh. Well, pardon me then.
Manny Being Suspended Manny: ‘I Didn’t Kill Nobody, I Didn’t Rape Nobody’ [MLB Fanhouse]
The Pittsburgh Steelers received their Super Bowl rings and as you can see, they are as gaudy and over-the-top as always.
The face contains six large, brilliant-cut diamonds, one for each Super Bowl victory. There are seven other diamonds that represent the Steelers’ seven conference championships and seven others below to add up to their 14 division titles in a football design.
The face includes a red, blue and yellow stone to resemble their hypocycloid logo. On one side of each ring are six Lombardi Trophies with the 27-23 score of their victory against Arizona in the Super Bowl. On the other is the ring owner’s name, the Steelers helmet logo, the NFL logo and the player’s number.
Wow. If these were not Super Bowl rings, there is no way in hell a man with any sense would wear one of these. Well, unless you were a “man’s man”, like the aforementioned Liberace.
