Not That I Want Confirmation, But I’m Pretty Sure Frank Deford Had An Erection When He Wrote This

frank_deford

Legendary journalist Frank Deford has never been afraid to shy away from controversial topics, especially when it comes to the sport of women’s tennis. He has previously tackled the hotness of Anna Kournikova, now he’s taking on the controversial topic of the prevalence of young, athletic female tennis players and their fondness for grunting. And I have to tell you, it appears to me that the horny old bugger seemed to really relish the topic:

Actually, I’ve never understood why these high-pitched sounds are called grunts. I always thought grunts were deep and guttural, sounding, well, like “grunt.” Senhorita Larcher de Brito is more of a shrieker, as was Ms. Sharapova. And, for those connoisseurs of the art, Ms. Seles hit her shots with a double-barrelled wail. Sort of: ee-ee. Actually, I always thought the best grunter of all was a Romanian player named Virginia Ruzici, of the 1970s, whose shriek reminded one and all, vicariously, of ecstasy.

Ecstasy, you say? Go on…

Give me a good grunt on the tennis court any day, even if it isn’t really a grunt. Listen, I may not remember much about the sounds of sport of thirty years ago, but the sensual cries of the long-forgotten Ruzici still sound like music to my ears. Ah, and at Wimbledon Monday, young Michelle Larcher de Brito defiantly declared: “Nobody can tell me to stop grunting!”

Hey, as they say on the links: “You da girl!”

“But the sensual cries of the long-forgotten Ruzici still sound like music to my ears.” To be honest, I’m surprised the introductory paragraph of the article wasn’t, “I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but every word of this story is true…”

The “You da girl!” line concludes his article on the topic, as I imagine he was spent, physically, intellectually, but most importantly, sexually. What a dirty, dirty, old man.

Hey, does anyone have any mental bleach?

What’s the matter with a spot of noise on tennis courts? [SI.com]
Don’t hate Anna Kournikova because she’s beautiful [SI.com]

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4 Comments

  1. ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

    June 25, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    There’s a lesson to be learned in all this. Never ever trust a man with a pencil-thin mustache.

  2. Bob's Blitz

    June 25, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Would that mean that he maintained it throughout the entire article’s composition?

  3. Xavier Q.

    August 30, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    How did it cost to start up this blog…I want to start my own.

  4. Team Roster

    October 30, 2010 at 4:48 am

    You you should make changes to the webpage title Not That I Want Confirmation, But I’m Pretty Sure Frank Deford Had An Erection When He Wrote This | Sportress of Blogitude to more specific for your webpage you create. I enjoyed the the writing even sononetheless.

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