Jun
16
5:30 pm
Last Call: Looks Like Old Weed’s Birthday Celebration Is Starting A Day Early
By
Greetings, everybody. Welcome, welcome, make yourself at home. As mentioned above, tomorrow is your host’s birthday, so I’m considering having Last Call here tonight on the Sportress an early birthday present. Thanks to everyone for stopping by.
How old will I be, you ask? I’m sorry, that information is classified.
Alright, that’s more than enough chit-chat about me, let’s get this thing going, shall we?
Heh. NOFX rules. Let that be a lesson to you young punks. And while you’re here, stay off my lawn, goddammit!
124 Comments
June 16th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Happy Birthday, you dinosaur!
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
@Sculptor?!?: thanks. And yes, I am old.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
@Weed Against Speed, Yeah, me too. Wanna have a cane fight, or a walker race?
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
@Sculptor?!?: No more fighting for me. Not with the DIABEETUS and everything.
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RonArtestTableLeg Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
@Weed Against Speed, Looks like Andy Reid after someone took the last chicken wing.
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June 16th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I’ll have to get you a birthday beer at some point, since we do live in the same nuclear fallout zone.
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
@WhiteSpeedReceiver: Indeed, my good man. Any time.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
I’m here for the gangbang…
Happy Birthday, Weed.
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
@mikedrawcar: Thank you, thank you.
And thanks to everyone who wishes me a Happy Birthday from this point forward. In case I don’t reply…I’m such an attention whore, aren’t I?
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Howdy, I’m impressed how often you make posts here.
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Rockabye Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
@Keffer: I thought you were D-U-A-N ’til you D-I-E?
In any case, happy to have you.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
@Rockabye, slowly, my friend. we’re slowly winning them over.
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Keffer Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
@Rockabye, I hadn’t been posting much on DUAN even before the purge. I understand why AJ did it just didn’t agree how he went doing it. If it wasn’t for Tommy Craggs I probably would have stopped visiting deadspin.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Happy Birthday. I hope you will be taking ___ drinks (one for each year of life) over the next 30 hours.
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
@JohnnyDakotaStateU: Thankee. 74 drinks over the next 30 hours? Are you crazy???
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Cinnamon Girl Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
@JohnnyDakotaStateU, He’s already well on his way – to the real 35 at least!
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
@Cinnamon Girl: Goddammit, woman. I said that shit was classified!
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Cinnamon Girl Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
@Weed Against Speed, Seriously though … happy birthday!
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
@Cinnamon Girl, 35? punk.
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Cinnamon Girl Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
@Sculptor?!?, Exactly – who am I to talk? I’m really 38+
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
And Weed: Happy birthday.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Yeah, Happy Birthday, Weed. Smoke a few for the rest of us, too.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Happy Birthday, Weed.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Happy Birthday, sir.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Okay, enough with the well-wishing. By the power of Grayskull, I want some cake!
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
@Sculptor?!?: Very well. Many thanks to everyone.
And as you wish:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nbzt1HnVzIQ
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
@Weed Against Speed, well, i’m not saying they should stop. i’m just saying i’m a pig.
carry on.
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
@Sculptor?!?: Nah, we should move on. I’m beginning to feel guilty for hijacking the thread.
New topic: how about that Brady Quinn guy? Is he gay or what?
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gally Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
@Sculptor?!?, The cake is a lie. wait, that’s a video game reference not sports. hopefully the swedish judge allows it
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Yo.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
@Two Yellows, yo yo.
feeling any better?
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Two Yellows Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
@Sculptor?!?, Not a great day today. A friend of mine, well…fucked up. Badly.
Other than that, I’m living. How’s things in your area? As grey as it is here?
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
@Two Yellows, sorry to hear that, mate. and yeah grey and cool.
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June 16th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Anyone watching the Texas/ASU game? It’s hilarious that McDonough can barely talk.
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
@RonArtestTableLeg, I am watching. And it’s hysterical. Hello everyone.
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RonArtestTableLeg Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@mekalek, you’d think Orel would just do all the talking since he loves listening to himself anyway. I hear Phillips now too, i’m sure he’ll do most of the talking now. I just hope this leads to more Erin Andrews.
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
@RonArtestTableLeg, As soon as Phillips came in the booth I knew McDonough would get some rest. And the game is a nice back drop to some EA
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Happy Birthday, Weed. Do we have any “special” cake?
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
@Disgruntled Goat: Unfortunately, no. Maybe another day, though.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Happy Birthday Weed. Have anything to battle a stupid cold?
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Two Yellows Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
@FirstDerivative, Seconded. Happy early Birthday, Weed.
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
@Two Yellows: Thanks for stopping by.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
How do I know you’re old?
You like Better Than Ezra.
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Weed Against Speed Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
@Quake n Shake: Touche, but I can’t help myself – I guess you could say it’s “In the Blood.”
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
What’s up dongdabblers?
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Sculptor? Was just checking out your site. I can’t believe that happened at the Jake during Lee’s no-no bid. I freaking read the Plain Dealer and didn’t see that in there.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
@mekalek, lolz, yeah Toledo forwarded that to us. I succumbed to being a homer and posted it.
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
@Sculptor?!?, Is there something wrong with being a homer? Because if there is, we here in Cleveland are fucking wrong a lot.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
For the first time in recorded history, having FS Arizona on my cable package pays off.
For the second time this season, I get to watch a Royals game from start to finish. Bee-you-tiful.
I think I’ll be able to put up with Gracie and Co. in the Arizona booth better than the usual Hawk-A-Thon on WGN when I see the R’s play…but the night’s young.
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
@Green Eggs and Fulham, Hmmmmm. I would enjoy FS Arizona if they showed plenty of Arizona Co-eds.
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Green Eggs and Fulham Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
@mekalek,
Do constant replays of U of A sporting events count? Because that (and the D-Backs) are all they do.
It’s better than what FS New Mexico would be, which is 8 hours of highlight footage of Brian Urlacher followed by select episodes of COPS in Albuquerque.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I think its time to pick up some italian ices to make my throat feel better. Back in 5.
PS: Thank God I’m starting Ortiz today.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
The cake is a lie!
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Whats up kids. I’m not sure how many of you have seen these, but this is a pretty good shirt series on the front page: http://nomasnyc.com/
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Green Eggs and Fulham Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
@Sex Fabregas, Didn’t know they had a Mile High one – that I might have to pick up.
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Sex Fabregas Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
@Green Eggs and Fulham: Me too, not sure if I’d want navy or orange
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
@Sex Fabregas, I am ordering the Jake one as we speak.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
@Sex Fabregas, Awesome. Steep pricing, though.
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Sex Fabregas Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
@Sculptor?!?: the other stuff is, but the I still call it series is priced ok, considering they’re on AA blanks with $2.50 going to charity. Sadly I used to have a hook up where I could get No Mas for cost but that dried up.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
@Sex Fabregas, I dunno, $31 for a t-shirt is pretty damned expensive.
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Sex Fabregas Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
@Sculptor?!?: True, they’re certainly not cheap, but then again I’ve paid some embarassing amounts for clothing before so it doesn’t seem phase me.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
@Sex Fabregas, Oh, I’ve paid stupid amounts for clothing and shoes too. Just not t-shirts. Somehow, I’ve got an issue spending that much on something that I’m going to get pizza sauce and paint all over.
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Sex Fabregas Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
@Sculptor?!?: haha, I wear tshirts and jeans about 90% of the time, so I’m more apt to spend a that much on a tshirt than I am on dress clothes
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
@Sculptor?!?, But the one for the Jake said they donate a certain amount to a Cleveland food bank. And believe me they need the help right now.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
RATL, I did up making a mock draft. It was drunken, so it has typos, lame puns, and it infuriated quite a few Canadians. Have you been thinking about it at all?
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RonArtestTableLeg Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
@ailanthusaltissima, Yeah, send it anyway. I think we’re going to do some kind of live blog or just a huge breakdown. I might do a actual mock in the next week if i get extremely board in work. I posted the thing last night i did about a month ago. This draft is going to be awful, but all the drink i do will make up for it.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Wow. Watching the CWS. That 7 second delay blows. The mic’s caught the first part of an f-bomb coming from somewhere. Sure would have been nice to hear the rest of it.
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
I will repeat again:
Orel Hershiser talking pitching and Erin Andrews doing anything makes for a good night.
Now with 100% less Mike Patrick!!!!
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June 16th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Great diving stab by Teahen to close out the inning – he’s going to make a good 3B for a National League team someday. Well, if KC shops him while he’s on a hot streak, anyway.
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Rob in WI Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
@Green Eggs and Fulham,
Hmmm… Jim Hendry needs to be notified of this immediately.
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June 16th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Augie wants to do dirty things to EA.
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June 16th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Huh Huh. Rick Manning said “Poo Holes”
Yeah, I’m 13.
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June 16th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Without comment, a link.
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Rob in WI Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
@Rockabye,
This is about 11 different kinds of awesome.
T-Pain truly will do anything cash.
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
@Rockabye,
1. I was wondering why T-Pain was on the red carpet.
2. Natalie Portman is a much better rapper.
3. That is all.
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Rob in WI Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
@mekalek,
natalie’s rap gets me all hot and bothered. I can only watch that with someone I love… which is usually myself.
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mekalek Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@Rob in WI, It is extremely hot.
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thefuseproject Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
@Rob in WI, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
(cough, cough)
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
@thefuseproject, well, here’s your chance to corrupt me…post that link!
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thefuseproject Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
@Sculptor?!?, http://www.hulu.com/watch/1404/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-natalie-raps
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Rob in WI Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
@thefuseproject,
truly epic, though I do enjoy the unedited version a bit better. But I can’t play that at work.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
@thefuseproject, Oh, thank you. That was 8 different kinds of awesomely hot.
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Disgruntled Goat Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
@Rockabye, I seriously don’t know what to think of that. It’s both great and scary all at once.
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June 16th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Happy B-day Weed–4 is such a tender, innocent age
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June 16th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
y’all are too quiet tonight. It frightens me a bit.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
@Rob in WI, Tell me about it. I’m stuck editing a website. Ugh. I need to finish that job so I need never look at it again.
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FirstDerivative Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
@Sculptor?!?, Need help?
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
@FirstDerivative, lol. more than can be prescribed legally. Oh wait, you meant the website? Naw, I’m porting over content from the old (dead) site to our new site. Fucking tedious. I need a vacation.
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Well since I’m about to watch the Real Housewives of NJ finale I’m quiet by choice and shame
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I’ve been setting up posts for tomorrow, and am mildly sick. Also, the Mets can’t do anything easily.
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Happy Birthday, Weed. How’s the gangbang going?
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FirstDerivative Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
@Skating Tomato, Thats interactive gangbang Skates.
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Skating Tomato Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
@FirstDerivative, I, er….stand corrected.
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FirstDerivative Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
@Skating Tomato, Bizzinger Joke. Interestingly enough, http://www.interactivegangbang.com takes you to the FJM site.
Sorry to pimp, but I wrote an article I think you’d be interested on our blog.
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Skating Tomato Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
@FirstDerivative, heh, nice.
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Gil Meche with a shutout through 7 in KC – the only other game I’ve seen from start to finish this year, it was a Zack Greinke CG SHO.
I really should just buy a package on MLB.tv and be done with it.
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Green Eggs and Fulham Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
@Green Eggs and Fulham,
And 132 pitches later, another CG SHO. Have a pop, Gil, you earned it.
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I just joined Facebook, and managing it is a nightmare–btw Scupltor, I added you–so please accept!
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
@Fawn Liebowitz, just did.
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEED! MAY YOU ENJOY MANY A STRAWBERRY POPTART!
Oh, hi everybody.
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
REDEEM YOURSELF, RIOS!
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June 16th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Ok… time to hit the sleep thing. Have a good night folks.
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Gah. I’ve got to give up on the beisbol. Indians lost (again, what surprise!), and these west coast games are lackluster. Anyone else got any ideas?
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FirstDerivative Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@Sculptor?!?, Don’t follow the Jets.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
@FirstDerivative, pfft. i got one worse already: the Browns. we can commiserate during footbaw season.
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Whut up shitshingles???
So. Rained out at Oldstyle Field today, just as well, the umps would’ve just called it after they took a 14-error, 0-0 tie game into the 20th anyway. Whatta depressing series this is.
Howzit going with you people? Slow night.
[Reply]
Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@Chicago Sometimes, yeah, slow. i’m porting web content. woo.
the dog is sleeping on his back, legs in the air – i’m jealous.
you hangin in there?
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Chicago Sometimes Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Not really. Just getting over the sweet, wonderful awesomeness of being food poisoned at my own goddamn restaurant.
Yeah, good times.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
@Chicago Sometimes, ugh. can’t trust anything these days. some schmuck forget to wash the lettuce?
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
14 hits? 8 earned. Paul Maholm needs to be arrested for murdering my fantasy teams.
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FirstDerivative Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
@RonArtestTableLeg, Only if you agree to help me take a hit on Jeremy Guthrie. Verlander I’m giving a pass too today.
[Reply]
RonArtestTableLeg Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
@FirstDerivative,
Paul Maholm
(Pit – SP)
P ^ @Min L, 8-2
Jeremy Guthrie
(Bal – SP)
P ^ NYM L, 6-4
[Reply]
June 16th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
oh jeebus christ. the Angels are beating the SNOT out of the Giants. it’s 7-0 top of the 4th. I gotta find something else to look at.
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
@Weed, happy birthday old man. Party like it’s 1999.
/I’ll be 38 this year, I’m old compared to you young bucks
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
@Upstate Underdog, get off my lawn, punk.
/39 for not much longer.
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Upstate Underdog Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
@Sculptor?!?, thanks for making me feel a little younger
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
@Upstate Underdog, no problem, sonny. help an old lady across the street? you can get your “assisting the elderly” scout badge…
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Upstate Underdog Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
@Sculptor?!?, well we might be a little older than me but I’m going to bed.
good night and Weed don’t eat too much birthday cake.
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Happy birthday weed. What’s up everyone?
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Can anyone also tell me how jeff francoeur is playing in evan longoria’s uniform too. the guy has like 5 rbi’s in the last month.
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Sculptor?!? Reply:
June 16th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
@RonArtestTableLeg, he killed the manager? he gives good head? I dunno.
/it’s late, don’t make me think.
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June 16th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
okay folks, time for me to hit the studio and get some of my own work accomplished. Hasta Manana!
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June 16th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Expat DUAN Hip-Hop Heads – “Death of the Autotune”? I dig it.
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June 16th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Hey guys, I’m back, although a bit late. The girlfriend decided I needed a social life…
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