Jun
16
Last Call: Looks Like Old Weed’s Birthday Celebration Is Starting A Day Early
By
Greetings, everybody. Welcome, welcome, make yourself at home. As mentioned above, tomorrow is your host’s birthday, so I’m considering having Last Call here tonight on the Sportress an early birthday present. Thanks to everyone for stopping by.
How old will I be, you ask? I’m sorry, that information is classified.
Alright, that’s more than enough chit-chat about me, let’s get this thing going, shall we?
Heh. NOFX rules. Let that be a lesson to you young punks. And while you’re here, stay off my lawn, goddammit!
Happy Birthday, you dinosaur!
@Sculptor?!?: thanks. And yes, I am old.
@Weed Against Speed, Yeah, me too. Wanna have a cane fight, or a walker race?
@Sculptor?!?: No more fighting for me. Not with the DIABEETUS and everything.
@Weed Against Speed, Looks like Andy Reid after someone took the last chicken wing.
I’ll have to get you a birthday beer at some point, since we do live in the same nuclear fallout zone.
@WhiteSpeedReceiver: Indeed, my good man. Any time.
I’m here for the gangbang…
Happy Birthday, Weed.
@mikedrawcar: Thank you, thank you.
And thanks to everyone who wishes me a Happy Birthday from this point forward. In case I don’t reply…I’m such an attention whore, aren’t I?
Howdy, I’m impressed how often you make posts here.
@Keffer: I thought you were D-U-A-N ’til you D-I-E?
In any case, happy to have you.
@Rockabye, slowly, my friend. we’re slowly winning them over.
@Rockabye, I hadn’t been posting much on DUAN even before the purge. I understand why AJ did it just didn’t agree how he went doing it. If it wasn’t for Tommy Craggs I probably would have stopped visiting deadspin.
Happy Birthday. I hope you will be taking ___ drinks (one for each year of life) over the next 30 hours.
@JohnnyDakotaStateU: Thankee. 74 drinks over the next 30 hours? Are you crazy???
@JohnnyDakotaStateU, He’s already well on his way – to the real 35 at least!
@Cinnamon Girl: Goddammit, woman. I said that shit was classified!
@Weed Against Speed, Seriously though … happy birthday!
@Cinnamon Girl, 35? punk.
@Sculptor?!?, Exactly – who am I to talk? I’m really 38+
And Weed: Happy birthday.
Yeah, Happy Birthday, Weed. Smoke a few for the rest of us, too.
Happy Birthday, Weed.
Happy Birthday, sir.
Okay, enough with the well-wishing. By the power of Grayskull, I want some cake!
@Sculptor?!?: Very well. Many thanks to everyone.
And as you wish:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nbzt1HnVzIQ
@Weed Against Speed, well, i’m not saying they should stop. i’m just saying i’m a pig.
carry on.
@Sculptor?!?: Nah, we should move on. I’m beginning to feel guilty for hijacking the thread.
New topic: how about that Brady Quinn guy? Is he gay or what?
@Sculptor?!?, The cake is a lie. wait, that’s a video game reference not sports. hopefully the swedish judge allows it
Yo.
@Two Yellows, yo yo.
feeling any better?
@Sculptor?!?, Not a great day today. A friend of mine, well…fucked up. Badly.
Other than that, I’m living. How’s things in your area? As grey as it is here?
@Two Yellows, sorry to hear that, mate. and yeah grey and cool.
Anyone watching the Texas/ASU game? It’s hilarious that McDonough can barely talk.
@RonArtestTableLeg, I am watching. And it’s hysterical. Hello everyone.
@mekalek, you’d think Orel would just do all the talking since he loves listening to himself anyway. I hear Phillips now too, i’m sure he’ll do most of the talking now. I just hope this leads to more Erin Andrews.
@RonArtestTableLeg, As soon as Phillips came in the booth I knew McDonough would get some rest. And the game is a nice back drop to some EA
Happy Birthday, Weed. Do we have any “special” cake?
@Disgruntled Goat: Unfortunately, no. Maybe another day, though.
Happy Birthday Weed. Have anything to battle a stupid cold?
@FirstDerivative, Seconded. Happy early Birthday, Weed.
@Two Yellows: Thanks for stopping by.
How do I know you’re old?
You like Better Than Ezra.
@Quake n Shake: Touche, but I can’t help myself – I guess you could say it’s “In the Blood.”
What’s up dongdabblers?
Sculptor? Was just checking out your site. I can’t believe that happened at the Jake during Lee’s no-no bid. I freaking read the Plain Dealer and didn’t see that in there.
@mekalek, lolz, yeah Toledo forwarded that to us. I succumbed to being a homer and posted it.
@Sculptor?!?, Is there something wrong with being a homer? Because if there is, we here in Cleveland are fucking wrong a lot.
For the first time in recorded history, having FS Arizona on my cable package pays off.
For the second time this season, I get to watch a Royals game from start to finish. Bee-you-tiful.
I think I’ll be able to put up with Gracie and Co. in the Arizona booth better than the usual Hawk-A-Thon on WGN when I see the R’s play…but the night’s young.
@Green Eggs and Fulham, Hmmmmm. I would enjoy FS Arizona if they showed plenty of Arizona Co-eds.
@mekalek,
Do constant replays of U of A sporting events count? Because that (and the D-Backs) are all they do.
It’s better than what FS New Mexico would be, which is 8 hours of highlight footage of Brian Urlacher followed by select episodes of COPS in Albuquerque.
I think its time to pick up some italian ices to make my throat feel better. Back in 5.
PS: Thank God I’m starting Ortiz today.
The cake is a lie!
Whats up kids. I’m not sure how many of you have seen these, but this is a pretty good shirt series on the front page: http://nomasnyc.com/
@Sex Fabregas, Didn’t know they had a Mile High one – that I might have to pick up.
@Green Eggs and Fulham: Me too, not sure if I’d want navy or orange
@Sex Fabregas, I am ordering the Jake one as we speak.
@Sex Fabregas, Awesome. Steep pricing, though.
@Sculptor?!?: the other stuff is, but the I still call it series is priced ok, considering they’re on AA blanks with $2.50 going to charity. Sadly I used to have a hook up where I could get No Mas for cost but that dried up.
@Sex Fabregas, I dunno, $31 for a t-shirt is pretty damned expensive.
@Sculptor?!?: True, they’re certainly not cheap, but then again I’ve paid some embarassing amounts for clothing before so it doesn’t seem phase me.
@Sex Fabregas, Oh, I’ve paid stupid amounts for clothing and shoes too. Just not t-shirts. Somehow, I’ve got an issue spending that much on something that I’m going to get pizza sauce and paint all over.
@Sculptor?!?: haha, I wear tshirts and jeans about 90% of the time, so I’m more apt to spend a that much on a tshirt than I am on dress clothes
@Sculptor?!?, But the one for the Jake said they donate a certain amount to a Cleveland food bank. And believe me they need the help right now.
RATL, I did up making a mock draft. It was drunken, so it has typos, lame puns, and it infuriated quite a few Canadians. Have you been thinking about it at all?
@ailanthusaltissima, Yeah, send it anyway. I think we’re going to do some kind of live blog or just a huge breakdown. I might do a actual mock in the next week if i get extremely board in work. I posted the thing last night i did about a month ago. This draft is going to be awful, but all the drink i do will make up for it.
Wow. Watching the CWS. That 7 second delay blows. The mic’s caught the first part of an f-bomb coming from somewhere. Sure would have been nice to hear the rest of it.
I will repeat again:
Orel Hershiser talking pitching and Erin Andrews doing anything makes for a good night.
Now with 100% less Mike Patrick!!!!
Great diving stab by Teahen to close out the inning – he’s going to make a good 3B for a National League team someday. Well, if KC shops him while he’s on a hot streak, anyway.
@Green Eggs and Fulham,
Hmmm… Jim Hendry needs to be notified of this immediately.
Augie wants to do dirty things to EA.
Huh Huh. Rick Manning said “Poo Holes”
Yeah, I’m 13.
Without comment, a link.
@Rockabye,
This is about 11 different kinds of awesome.
T-Pain truly will do anything cash.
@Rockabye,
1. I was wondering why T-Pain was on the red carpet.
2. Natalie Portman is a much better rapper.
3. That is all.
@mekalek,
natalie’s rap gets me all hot and bothered. I can only watch that with someone I love… which is usually myself.
@Rob in WI, It is extremely hot.
@Rob in WI, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
(cough, cough)
@thefuseproject, well, here’s your chance to corrupt me…post that link!
@Sculptor?!?, http://www.hulu.com/watch/1404/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-natalie-raps
@thefuseproject,
truly epic, though I do enjoy the unedited version a bit better. But I can’t play that at work.
@thefuseproject, Oh, thank you. That was 8 different kinds of awesomely hot.
@Rockabye, I seriously don’t know what to think of that. It’s both great and scary all at once.
Happy B-day Weed–4 is such a tender, innocent age
y’all are too quiet tonight. It frightens me a bit.
@Rob in WI, Tell me about it. I’m stuck editing a website. Ugh. I need to finish that job so I need never look at it again.
@Sculptor?!?, Need help?
@FirstDerivative, lol. more than can be prescribed legally. Oh wait, you meant the website? Naw, I’m porting over content from the old (dead) site to our new site. Fucking tedious. I need a vacation.
Well since I’m about to watch the Real Housewives of NJ finale I’m quiet by choice and shame
I’ve been setting up posts for tomorrow, and am mildly sick. Also, the Mets can’t do anything easily.
Happy Birthday, Weed. How’s the gangbang going?
@Skating Tomato, Thats interactive gangbang Skates.
@FirstDerivative, I, er….stand corrected.
@Skating Tomato, Bizzinger Joke. Interestingly enough, http://www.interactivegangbang.com takes you to the FJM site.
Sorry to pimp, but I wrote an article I think you’d be interested on our blog.
@FirstDerivative, heh, nice.
Gil Meche with a shutout through 7 in KC – the only other game I’ve seen from start to finish this year, it was a Zack Greinke CG SHO.
I really should just buy a package on MLB.tv and be done with it.
@Green Eggs and Fulham,
And 132 pitches later, another CG SHO. Have a pop, Gil, you earned it.
I just joined Facebook, and managing it is a nightmare–btw Scupltor, I added you–so please accept!
@Fawn Liebowitz, just did.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEED! MAY YOU ENJOY MANY A STRAWBERRY POPTART!
Oh, hi everybody.
REDEEM YOURSELF, RIOS!
Ok… time to hit the sleep thing. Have a good night folks.
Gah. I’ve got to give up on the beisbol. Indians lost (again, what surprise!), and these west coast games are lackluster. Anyone else got any ideas?
@Sculptor?!?, Don’t follow the Jets.
@FirstDerivative, pfft. i got one worse already: the Browns. we can commiserate during footbaw season.
Whut up shitshingles???
So. Rained out at Oldstyle Field today, just as well, the umps would’ve just called it after they took a 14-error, 0-0 tie game into the 20th anyway. Whatta depressing series this is.
Howzit going with you people? Slow night.
@Chicago Sometimes, yeah, slow. i’m porting web content. woo.
the dog is sleeping on his back, legs in the air – i’m jealous.
you hangin in there?
Not really. Just getting over the sweet, wonderful awesomeness of being food poisoned at my own goddamn restaurant.
Yeah, good times.
@Chicago Sometimes, ugh. can’t trust anything these days. some schmuck forget to wash the lettuce?
14 hits? 8 earned. Paul Maholm needs to be arrested for murdering my fantasy teams.
@RonArtestTableLeg, Only if you agree to help me take a hit on Jeremy Guthrie. Verlander I’m giving a pass too today.
@FirstDerivative,
Paul Maholm
(Pit – SP)
P ^ @Min L, 8-2
Jeremy Guthrie
(Bal – SP)
P ^ NYM L, 6-4
oh jeebus christ. the Angels are beating the SNOT out of the Giants. it’s 7-0 top of the 4th. I gotta find something else to look at.
@Weed, happy birthday old man. Party like it’s 1999.
/I’ll be 38 this year, I’m old compared to you young bucks
@Upstate Underdog, get off my lawn, punk.
/39 for not much longer.
@Sculptor?!?, thanks for making me feel a little younger
@Upstate Underdog, no problem, sonny. help an old lady across the street? you can get your “assisting the elderly” scout badge…
@Sculptor?!?, well we might be a little older than me but I’m going to bed.
good night and Weed don’t eat too much birthday cake.
Happy birthday weed. What’s up everyone?
Can anyone also tell me how jeff francoeur is playing in evan longoria’s uniform too. the guy has like 5 rbi’s in the last month.
@RonArtestTableLeg, he killed the manager? he gives good head? I dunno.
/it’s late, don’t make me think.
okay folks, time for me to hit the studio and get some of my own work accomplished. Hasta Manana!
Expat DUAN Hip-Hop Heads – “Death of the Autotune”? I dig it.
Hey guys, I’m back, although a bit late. The girlfriend decided I needed a social life…