Winner Winner Chicken Dinner For This Yahoo Sports Editor (Last Call)
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I have no idea whether this is real or not, but if it is, it’s awesome. And if it isn’t, it’s still funny. (H/T The Sports Hernia)
So, here we are again, folks. It’s Last Call at the Sportress of Blogitude. I think things went well on Saturday, so why shouldn’t they go swimmingly again?
A lot on the docket tonight, with the NBA and the NHL going head-to-head on prime time network television, so it should be a doozy.
Let’s have fun and don’t use the guest soaps this time, you got it? My mom was pissed! And let’s try to leave the Sportress in a little better shape afterward than last time, you got it?
Shit, between Weird Science references for Last Call on Saturday and now a Sixteen Candles reference today, I’m going to run out of John Hughes movies before too long. If I end up busting out something from She’s Having A Baby in the future, would somebody do me a favor and punch me in the throat? I’d appreciate it.
Alright, and away we go.
Hey kids, what’s the good news?
SCORE! STAAL1
There’s that first goal!!! 1-0 Penguins!
Fuck!! I just heard a loud scream and a YES. I take it the pens scored?
Tie ball game, start again. Poor Cliff Lee, another no decision.
@Sculptor?!?, Sadly, he was one of my fantasy team leftovers.
Damn you keeper leagues.
I. HATE. BOSTON.
@CW, Sorry man, but I started Ortiz tonight.
@FirstDerivative
Despite the HR, he still looks like shit at the plate tonight. That HR was handed to him on a platter.
But a fantasy point is a fantasy point.
@CW, Suck it Yanks. Beckett is kicking your ass. 8k’s 1 Hit.
Just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for stopping by. Can I get anyone a soda, some cookies, beer bong, bong?
Oh, and it was mentioned earlier, but do yourself a favor and check out the Superdrag video below. I request this not for any monetary gain as I get no advertising revenue from it since I’m doing it for free, just because the song rocks and you will probably enjoy it.
@Weed Against Speed, all I wanted was a Pepsi…
I think I know the answer, but anyone watching the MLB Draft on MLB.com? This thing has the production value of a freshman A/V project. People just walking around in fron the camera, and I think I just saw Tommy Lasorda being escorted out.
@bighead82, I can’t believe it is televised, but I guess people (you, I assume, are a person) do watch.
I would watch if I was home
@MorelOrelHershiser, I’m at work, so I’d rather be watching the Cup, but watching Devon White stumble over names is high comedy.
I ate too many onions with dinner. I’ll be tasting these for hours.
@Peter Cavan: Onions!!
-Bill Raftery in his upcoming ad for Rolaids
Evening all. The clicker’s getting a workout tonight.
@son of spam, The NBC Hockey League is doing an amazing job of keeping me from seeing any hockey, since the basketball game is priority 1. They time the first intermission during the NBA pre-game, which I was willing to skip, and even the commercials seem to be matching up. Oh well, see ya in a year or two, NHL.
@lowercase, I was wondering about that last night. Really bad planning.
And the Mets beat the Phillies, 6-5.
Well, I look at the KC/Cleveland game for the first time tonight, I see 4 runs for KC – good there – and then a big, fat 4-spot in the 6th for Cleveland.
Why am I not surprised?
/at least we got Aaron Crow at #12
@Green Eggs and Fulham, I was surprised to see he was still around there.
@bighead82, How is it possible that there are at least five Royals fans in on Last Call?
@Saberhagendaaz, I’m a Cards fan, but obviously a Mizzou fan too.
Gibson went to the Twins in the 1st round too.
@Saberhagendaaz,
Who are #4 and #5? I know of you and MorelOrel, and that’s it…
@Green Eggs and Fulham, I think RonArtestTableLeg. And mikedrawcar, but I don’t know that he’s around tonight.
Jeff VG awkwardly watching his dad talk about him is high comedy. Stan got dad’s voice though.
Best part of MLB.com’s draft coverage: uncensored Twitter responses.
Alyssa Milano dropping Tweets on high school kids that will end up as her sugar daddy is pretty good as well.
RT Congrats to @DrewStoren – our first player on Twitter to be selected! No. 10 overall by Nats #mlbdraft #mlbdraft (via @MLB)
about 2 hours ago from Tweetie
Yikes, that was close.
This has been one good fucking hockey game.
@Afino, Shhh don’t jinx it.
Grand slam! Woo!
@Sculptor?!?, D-ro. Nice.
@Sculptor?!?,
Well, at least you’re happy about this game…
Think I’ll go flip on the hosketball spectacular and see what’s shakin’.
Holy shit the construction all summer in MN is terrible. Only hope I have of travelling over 10 mph is another bridge collapse.
@savedbypurplejesus, Or a flood and you can get a boat.
@savedbypurplejesus: What neck of the woods are typically traveling in?
@Weed Against Speed: are you traveling in.
Sheesh.
Hey Cardinals: Thanks for pissing away the NL Central. I haven’t seen someone fumble around so much since Michael J Fox got an iPhone.
@bighead82, Hey, leave the PD folks alone for a while. Go pick on some epileptics.
@Sculptor?!?: How about Tourette’s people? They need to be taken down a notch, goddammit.
@Weed Against Speed, FUCK the Yankees! COCK!
@Sculptor?!?: BOB SAGET!!!
@Sculptor?!?, I’m an equal opportunity hater.
This is awesome listening to the pirates announcer differentiate between (Pirates Catcher-pro.DEEE-AZ) and (Braves Outfielder-pro.DIE-AZ)
@RonArtestTableLeg, Not only that, the dude’s name is fucking Robinzon. That’s just awesome.
@Encouraging Referee Pitman, When he first came up the pirates board even said “Robinson.” That’s pretty sad when your organization doesn’t even know your name.
@RonArtestTableLeg, Because he’s a dumb-AZ.
@Encouraging Referee Pitman, Went to a spring training game this year in Fort Myers at the Twins complex. The PA announcer damn near had a heart attack when Robinzon Diaz came up. I was shitfaced in the berm, and it took three ABs from him for me get the name down.
@bighead82, How’d my reply start a new thread?
/Totally effing everything up tonight.
@bighead82, Still not quite as awesome as the Phillies guy named Bastardo.
@Encouraging Referee Pitman, Spring training is the best for All-Name Teams.
@Encouraging Referee Pitman, The Indians used to have Einar Diaz on their team. His introduction music was a donkey bray. I shit you not.
@weed,
Work in st louis park and in minneapolis. Live in the southern minneapolis suburbs but moving into uptown relatively soon.
So constant struggles with 35W.
@savedbypurplejesus, Well, at least it’s not winter with the snow and ice. Those are your choices here in MN.
When did this joint get fancy ads after the comments?
SCORE! 2-0 Penguins!
@Peter Cavan, ESPN.com has a case of the slows tonight.
@bighead82, So does Yahoo sports
Fleury, you suck.
Fine. I didn’t expect it to be a shutout.
meeting up with a buddy to drink, smoke, watch the game and play some twoods. Have a nice night folks, might peek in later tonight.
@savedbypurplejesus: Thanks for stopping, man.
Is it just me or does it seem a bit quiet tonight? It’s The Guy On The Couch, isn’t it?
Oh, and fucking Detroit. 2-1 Pens now. Actually, I’m not pulling for either of these teams.
@Weed Against Speed, Same here. Technically I’m still an Avs fan so I should be hating the Wings, but I just don’t care that much anymore. And things being what they are, it’s gotten to where even I feel bad for Detroiters. And Crosby seems like a tool, so I can’t root for either of them really.
@Weed Against Speed, Actually, I think it’s a function of Sports ADD. There’s too many things to watch AND comment at the same time. Short circuit.
@Weed Against Speed, Maybe it’s because I showed up. Btw, I commented on it earlier today but mad props for today’s weedtubeage. One of my all-time favorite songs. However, I was in college when that song come out so I feel old.
@Upstate Underdog: Grazie. I love Ned’s and I still listen to them quite a bit. I saw them at First Avenue open up for Jesus Jones in something like 1992, so I’m right there with you.
@Weed Against Speed, very cool.
@Upstate Underdog, Wait, YOU’RE the Guy On The Couch? Shove over, fatass, some of us want to sit for a bit.
@Sculptor?!?, I’ll just get up, your sweet ass can have the couch all to its self
@Weed Against Speed, Nah, Guy’s cool.
Fleury, you are one lucky SOB.
HAHAHA, Sox 6-0 against New York this year.
@strmking, enjoy it now. Let’s wait until until all 162 have been played, but seriously the Sox have fucking owned the Yankees this year.
@Upstate Underdog, I hear ya. But I am going to enjoy this while it lasts. Beckett was on, again tonight. Between him and Lester.
@strmking, yes enjoy it. Trust me if the Yankees were 6-0 against the Sox this season I’d be gloating. I’m not too optimistic with Wang going tomorrow.
I think I’m getting strep throat. I feel like someone shat broken glass down my gullet.
@Magic’s Johnson, Had the same shit. Allergies, and it took me two weeks to get my voice back. WORST. THING. EVAHHH.
@bighead82, What did you take to get through? Anything particular?
@Magic’s Johnson, Claratin (sp?), Benadryl, and the worst home remedy ever: Vinegar and water.
V&W worked the best when my throat was killing me. Tastes horrible, but just sip it.
@Magic’s Johnson, I went through that last week. Ended up with a fever of 103. Insert Foreigner reference here.
@ACMEsalesrep: What, do you wanna know what love is or something?
/confused
@Weed Against Speed, Perhaps he wants you to show him.
/Ashamed to know the next line
@Magic’s Johnson, I now regret having uttered the word Foreigner.
@ACMEsalesrep, Listen, it could have been worse. You could have gone with Foghat or something like that.
@ACMEsalesrep, The Mrs. to Be and I had an engagement party over the weekend, and we found out today that one of the guests came down with strep the day after. I’m assuming that’s where I got it. Sucks.
I love hockey, so I suppose I should care. But when is the all-sports break, when there is nothing to follow? There should be one of those.
@Cinnamon Girl, The MLB all-star game is next month.
@Cinnamon Girl, Nope, we’d find something somewhere.
2nd Tier Austrailian Rules Football? Sure, better than nothing!
@lowercase, pfft, we’ll watch Bocce. Who are we kidding, we’re junkies.
Aspartame?!?! MY WIFE’S ALLERGIC! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HER??!?!
Oh, wait — it’s just a video. Never mind.
Damn, that MLB draft does look like dress rehearsal. They really need to get some Jets fans in the audience to boo everyone. It adds atmosphere.
@ACMEsalesrep, Should have seen the 2nd round. Lasorda went apeshit on the stand. He was yelling because he didn’t realize there was a mic, then he stumbled down the stairs.
@bighead82, Dear God, please let this join Bret Michaels’ head trauma on YouTube. Thank you.
@ACMEsalesrep, It was on MLB.com, so insert the tree falling in a forest line. No TV, just net.
It beats the hell out of anything I’ve seen on the net in awhile.
Tommy just did another pick unannounced and scared the hell out of the crew. Then left with a “I’m done. See you.”
@bighead82, Missed it — the junior sales rep was in the middle of a coughing fit, and I had to make sure she wasn’t about to choke on her pillow or something.
What’s with the “No Pepper” sign? Are they serious? Good lord.
@ACMEsalesrep, This setup is godawful. Reminds me of my great grandma’s funeral as a kid being held in a bar.
Should i continue to watch baseball tonight or put on versus and listen to whether or not something actually happens. How much times left? I don’t think i could possibly put up with any more than 5 minutes of it.
@RonArtestTableLeg, It’s on NBC. So if you want to avoid hockey, put on Versus.
@Peter Cavan, i bet the rodeo or whatever vs. is showing is prob getting the same ratings.
@Peter Cavan, Why avoid this hockey? It’s a hell of a game.
@son of spam, I’m not avoiding it. I’m dying every time the Wings get the puck.
@Peter Cavan, What a great last couple of minutes too.
And damn Scottie Reynolds is back for another year. He couldn’t just stay in the draft and go late 2nd round?
@RonArtestTableLeg, wooooo Scotty Reynolds!! Herndon Highschool!! woooo!!
Sorry, you were saying something?
Tim Floyd out at USC, tendered his resignation tonight.
Guess $1,000 doesn’t go as far as it used to, eh, fucko?
@Green Eggs and Fulham, Good to see Tim’s Reverse Midas touch is still in full effect.
@Green Eggs and Fulham, Jesus… to think that the UofA really wanted to hire that guy too…
/Arizona fan
@Green Eggs and Fulham, Oooh, scary stuff.
Wait — that’s Count Floyd. My bad.
@Green Eggs and Fulham,
The only question that remains: what low-level NBA team does he try to land on his feet with?
I’m going with Sacramento.
Nice save. Lofty save.
(Just wanted to oss a ‘lofty’ in there, just once.)
@brotherbuttons, to. toss. Two t’s, El Fucko.
@brotherbuttons: Agreed. Fantastic. Makes up for Saturday, huh?
Uh, never send an intern to do a man’s job. Sup, ya’ll?
@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Welcome. Make yourself at home.
@Weed Against Speed, Thanks.
Damn, what a save by Fleury. I can’t take much more of this.
HOGPILE!!!!
Game 7 on Friday. Anything can happen now.
Now that was some damn hockey.
Time for bed, have fun you crazy kids.
@Upstate Underdog: See ya on the flipside. As always, thank you for coming by, UU.
@Weed Against Speed, you know I’ll be checking in tomorrow.
FUCK. Thank God i’m out of this front-running city for this weekend.
So, flipping through the channels tonight, I stumbled across Noggin. Do you think the adults who star in those kiddie shows really really like kids* and want to help them learn, or are they primarily actors who are desperate for any kind of work and hope that they can eventually disavow ever having starred in Blue’s Clues?
*I mean like kids in the good sense, not the NAMBLA sense
@Quake n Shake, My kids have been watching noggin for a few years and from what I can tell, the actual adults involved in shows seem into helping kids.
@Quake n Shake, I think most adults like kids–then again, work is work.
Hey all–back from the bars in BOS!
@Fawn Liebowitz, Which ones? Was it crazy, with the sox killing the Yanks.
@strmking, Started in the Financial District, and then went to the ultimate cliche, the Cask/Flagon–friends up from NY who had a car that drove us away instead of waiting
I love being around Fenway whilst a game is playing–always a good time
@Fawn Liebowitz, I love Boston Beer Works, and the Sunset grill.
Isnt that by the Garden? And the Sunset Grill? whereat?–
@Quake n Shake, If Family Guy has taught me anything, all those adults are drunken perverts with British accents.
That’s all I got, I’m fucking dying over here. And no one gives a shit.
@Magic’s Johnson, hahahaaaaa
that took a minute.
@Magic’s Johnson, Just answered your post above. Sorry, didn’t see it until now.
@Quake n Shake, Is that the station “The Goodnight Show” or whatever is on? The lady on that show is out-fucking-standing. Especially the stretching part.
/doesn’t have kids
//not a perv, just likes hot ladies.
@bighead82, That’s PBS kids Sprout.
hangs head in shame for knowing.
@strmking, You at least have kids.
I will play it off as channel surfing, but it was on some ridiculously high numbered channel, so I probably need a real excuse.
@strmking, No shame in knowing that. Assuming you have kids, that is. If, on the other hand, you never switch away from PBS because you’re obsessed with Norm Abram …
@ACMEsalesrep, Actually it’s Bob Ross.
@strmking, It’s those damned happy little trees, isn’t it?
Personally, I prefer Sister Wendy. She’s hot. And there’s that whole nun thing, too.
Fuck Matt Cook with Jerko Ruutu’s stick.
That is all.
@jayhawkmarley, Who do you think you are? Jeff Ross?
Or, as they say in Spanish, “a ganar, a ganar, a pollo para cenar!”
Spanish trains: fast, efficient, AND educational! Thanks, RENFE!
So… um… I’m Tiger Woods 10 – ing it tonight… I don’t think I’ll be to work on time in the morning.
@Rob in WI, Any good? I need something to get me to Madden in August.
@bighead82,
Downloaded the demo for xbox and couldn’t get enough.
Very good so far, I went right to create a career mode and playing first tourney… I’d recommend it.
@Rob in WI, I haven’t downloaded it yet. Guess I now have something to look forward to when I get home. I had TW a few years back and couldn’t get enough.
I just hope Kate Hudson came to the game tonite to support A-Rod
Cause its miserable, so not California, and they are apparently causing controversy with their dalliance
Go Sox!
So, I’m going to ask this now… Number of cars burned after game 7…
Detroit Win -
Detroit Loss -
/not entirely serious
Okay gang, it’s been swell. I’m taking my sports-overloaded ADD blog commenting self to bed. Hasta manana!
@Sculptor?!?, And Weed, as ever the gracious host, I thank you for a grand time!
@Sculptor?!?: My pleasure. And please stop by on non-Last Call days. I’m doing my very best to entertain.
Sure, I’m below the Mendoza Line, but it’s the effort…the effort.
Sigh.