Listen Up, People: Chad Pennington Doesn’t Twitter

chadpennington1aYet another NFL quarterback has been forced to address comments made by an imposter claiming to be them on Twitter. You may recall that Ben Roethlisberger had to go on the offensive to dispel rumors that he had skin cancer after his Twitter doppelganger claimed that he did.

This time, it’s Chad Pennington.

‘I need to send out a press release or something!” Pennington laughed after Tuesday’s organized team activity. “Can somebody please let the world know I don’t have Twitter or Facebook or any of those things?”

I find it humorous that people would even believe that Chad Pennington has a Twitter account in the first place. We all know Pennington lacks the arm strength to type an entire 140 character tweet in one sitting. Most of the Real Chad Pennington tweets would get to about 100 characters before whatever message he was trying to covey began drifting off short of the target.

Nevertheless, the impostor has come up with some pretty comical tweets.

I’d like to see kiper throw perfectly placed bombs to ted ginn… from txt

Good run, 6 minute mile pace, now time for some of Chad’s finest pancakes!

Ok, free entry to the Dolphins Draft Day Party on Saturday! Meet me in front of Gate D at 4 pm and get in free!

How am I not a finalist for the Madden ’10 cover? Maybe the cover was scared I would curse it…

Cooking dinner, 40 oz. porterhouse, 2 baked potatoes, zuccini, and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon…Chad has a big appetite from web

Jt and I r gonna waltz the night away at landshark stadium come February… from txt

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, if it weren’t for a special lady, Chad wouldn’t be here to strike fear in the hearts of opposing secondaries from web

I know people aren’t happy about the renaming of dolphin stadium, don’t worry, they said they can’t name it after me til I retire…

Henne is not happy about being listed as the third stringer on gamedays, of course he went and cried to parcells, it was hilarious! from txt

And finally:

Chad never sleeps, cause sleep is a cousin of failure from txt

You know, I can actually imagine Pennington saying something along those lines.

And just because it’s somewhat related, if you didn’t catch Conan last night, here is his bit on Twitter. It’s pretty awesome.

Message from Dolphins’ Chad Pennington: I don’t Twitter [The Miami Herald]
ChadPennington1 [Twitter]

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3 Comments

  1. Shakey

    June 3, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    Chad never sleeps, cause sleep is a cousin of failure. Plus, that’s where Nightmare Ant resides.

  2. Weed Against Speed

    June 3, 2009 at 10:02 pm

  3. Shakey

    June 4, 2009 at 12:30 am

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    /gasps for breath

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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