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One Day, This Landmark Case Will Be Known In The Legal Community As D-Bag v. A-Wipe

shawne-merrimanchristian_laettner_1992Once again proving that in this cosmic dance we call life that douched entities attract douched entities (it’s Science, people!), a company led by San Diego Charger and steroid-user Shawne Merriman has sued a company led in part by Grand Poohbah of Dukedom Christian Laettner for “failing to abide by terms of a $3 million loan.” According to a report in the Charlotte News Observer:

In the other suit, filed in the Maryland Southern District, Merriman says he agreed to lend Laettner and [former Duke player Brian] Davis $3 million in two installments and he would obtain ownership in real estate projects owned and developed by Blue Devil Ventures. Merriman is asking a judge to order the two to pay back the $3 million plus interest and to give Merriman his ownership interests in the projects.

Blue Devil Ventures? That’s a creative name for a company. Why didn’t they go with something simpler, say, “NBA Bust Enterprises”? It has a certain truthful ring to it, wouldn’t you say?

Hoo-boy, there are far too many dickbags that are interested parties in this lawsuit. I’m no attorney, but wouldn’t it possible to establish a prima facie argument that this case should be dragged on through the courts year after year after year until both parties are left penniless, bitter and broken men. Ipso facto, we all win.

What’s that, you don’t appreciate my Latin legal term humor? Sorry, man, that’s my modus operandi and if you don’t like it, you can habeus my corpus.

That’s not too harsh, is it? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

Laettner’s company sued by Merriman’s [Game On!]
Blue Devil Ventures sued for millions [Charlotte News Observer]

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