Archive for April, 2009
Sometimes, being a blogger isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There are occasions when you have to be the bearer of bad news to the tens of readers who visit your site weekly. Today is such a day.
The Los Angeles Avengers are no more. They’re gone. Kaput. Finished. And they’re not coming back, no matter how much you sob and beg and plead. It’s over. Deal with it.
“The entire Avengers organization extends heartfelt thanks to the fans who cheered on their team,” the team announced in a statement on its Web site, laavengers.com. “It was their faithful support that kept the Avengers vibrant and energized for nearly a decade.”
When are people going to learn that professional football cannot surive in Los Angeles? Nevertheless, this must be devastating news for the Avengers faithful – all fifty of them. At least they still have the Los Angeles Sparks to ease their suffering.
I’m choosing to blame this one on Jon Bon Jovi, part-owner of the AFL’s Phildelphia Soul franchise, which is nothing new for me – I blame him for everything. You can say what you want, Mr. Bon Jovi. You may have indeed seen my face, but you have most assuredly not “rocked” me, jerk.
So, a somber farewell goes out to the Los Angeles Avengers, we barely knew ye. Seriously, I have never heard of them until I wrote this. I guess at least we will always have the cheerleaders. That’s a good thing.
Avengers call it quits [dailybreeze]
• NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs Recap: The Flyers got the win they desperately needed by beating the Penguins 6-3 in Philly (Pittsburgh now leads series 2-1), the New Jersey Devils won 3-2 in overtime to take a 2-1 series lead, Vancouver has St. Louis on the ropes, winning Sunday 3-2 for a 3-0 series lead and the Ducks beat the Sharks again in San Jose 3-2, who now get to go back to Anaheim up 2-0 in the series. San Jose, what’s the deal? [NHL. com Scoreboard]
• NBA Playoffs Recap: The Lakers handled the Jazz 113-100, the 76ers pour it on in the 4th quarter, coming back from 18 down to beat the Magic 100-98, the Miami Heat score a measly 7 points in the 4th quarter and get blown out by the Atlanta Hawks 90-64 and the Denver Nuggets dominate in a 113-84 victory over the New Orleans Hornets. [NBA.com Scoreboard]
• PGA Golf: Brian Gay runs away from the field by going -20 and finishing 10 strokes ahead of second place finishers Briny Baird and Luke Donald to win the Heritage Classic. He only had two bogeys in 72 holes. Big deal – I’ve done that before – two bogeys, a par, 67 triple bogeys an 8 and one 10. [Yahoo! Sports]
• Don’t People Realize That Uromisitisis Poisoning Is Very Real And Very Dangerous? A 28-year old man will be spending three weeks in the clink for pissing on a 66-year old woman on a flight to Hawaii.
What Time Is It?
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Just a quick site note. I’m off to a late start this morning. Like a Japanese tourist hanging out with Kramer, I may have had a little too much saké in the hot tub last night.
We’ll be up and running in no time.
•NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs: Another night of playoff hockey. Tonight we start off with the Philadelphia Flyers at Pittsburgh Penguins tilt (7:00 EST) and finish up with St. Louis Blues at Vancouver Canucks (10:00 EST). Be sure to tune in between games for the studio show to watch and see if this is the year host Bill Patrick finally snaps and goes on a killing spree. [Versus]
• What to watch if you’re feeling sorry for yourself. The Cast of Saved By The Bell: Where Are They Now? This will definitely make you feel better about your situation. [TV Guide Network, 10:00 EST]
• What to watch if you’re bored with huffing paint. Nationwide Series: Bashas’ Supermarkets 200. I’d move on to White-Out or rubber cement if I were you. [ESPN2, 9:30 EST]
• Movie of the Night: Road House starring Patrick Swayze. Find out for yourself why God gave him cancer. Nah, I’m just kidding. God hated Ghost. [AMC, 8:00 EST]
So there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to thank each and every one of you for visiting the site this week. Be sure to check S.O.B. out next week. Why? Because my mom said so, that’s why.
Be well.
- Weed
It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? (April 17th)
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• Classic video of Andre the Giant choking Bob Uecker on a baseball blog. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s a slow day on the tubes. [Walkoff Walk]
• Nothing beats hockey night in Canada, so says Susan Slusser. Obviously, she has never met my Uncle Ken – he’d beat anything, including something that can’t be physically beaten. He is a strange man. [NHL Fanhouse]
• Rick Reilly doesn’t know what the hell is going on. That’s why he fits in so well at ESPN. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
• Excellent analysis (as always) by Wysh over on Puck Daddy – has the NHL finally figured out what fans really want online? I’d say no if Gary Bettman had anything to do with it. [Puck Daddy]
• Punte reminisces about his favorite reporter pwnage of all-time – Jim Kelly nearly beating the shit out of Jim Rome. Imagine what a better world we would be living in today if he would have done it. [With Leather]
Avid golfer Bill Murray hooked a tee shot at a Pro-Am event that struck a woman who had to be taken to the hospital. She had come out into her yard just so she could see the legendary actor play.
Murray was on No. 9 at the TPC Tampa Bay during the first round of the Outback Pro-Am when he hit Gail DiMaggio as she was watching the tournament.
Murray was making his way to his ball when he realized something might be wrong. As he approached, paramedics were already treating the woman.
“I wasn’t sure I was in bounds or not,” Murray said. “And I saw this NBC golf cart coming at me and he said, ‘I hate to be the one to tell you this but you hit a lady. She’s down on the ground.’ That is, you know, sobering.”
Sobering? That might be a good thing because it’s my guess Bill hasn’t had a clear-headed thought in about 30 years.
Murray’s errant tee shot strikes woman in her yard [Yahoo! News]
Making a rare public appearance, The Boss showed up for the opening of the new Yankee Stadium on Thursday and I have to tell you, he looks terrible.
Before Steinbrenner’s health began deteriorating, he was always eager to entertain the media, but Thursday reporters from print, television and Internet outlets were ordered by Stadium security into stairwells and a conference room while Steinbrenner’s cart drove past. A reporter shouted, “What do you think of the Stadium?” and Steinbrenner turned and replied, “It’s beautiful.”
No word on whether or not Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman were driving the cart.
Jessica Steinbrenner, pictured above with her father, was also on hand. She’s, how do you say it, a handsome woman?
Oh. Homely. Gotcha.
Steinbrenner doesn’t say much, but calls new Yankee Stadium ‘beautiful’ [New York Daily News]
This was on Epic Carnival earlier this week, but check out this crazy shot.
As far as I can tell, the video is from some Japanese game show of some sort. I guess if he wouldn’t have made it, he would have had to cut off his finger or something.
• A Boston fan robs Alexei Kovalev of his beloved hockey stick. He hasn’t had someone tug on his stick through a hole since that night he went to a fancy Russian whorehouse. [Stanley Cup of Chowder]
• Clinton Portis dances with kids. Next up on his dance card: Shawn Johnson [Mr. Irrelevant]
• Jay Cutler is kickin’ it with Coolio. What decade is this, the ’90′s? [Busted Coverage]
• A pastor in Florida has been arrested for using the NFL as a lure to convince high school football players to have sex with him. It’s good to see other forms of Christianity catching up with the Catholics. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]
• Jake Plummer is going to coach high school football to live out his inapproriate David Wooderson fantasy. [Pro Football Talk]
Great find by James Mirtle over on From The Rink.
My guess is on his Quidditch team, he was one of the beaters, if you catch my drift.
I have nothing more to add here other than the sign is quite colorful and interesting, which is exactly the way his parents describe him to their friends after they barricade him in his room before dinner parties.
Oh, one more thing: I loved him in his role as Augie Farks in Role Models. It must have been fun to work with Paul Rudd. He seems nice.
File this one under ‘inappropriate fan support’ [From the Rink]
Quidditch Players [Wikipedia] (you didn’t think I knew those Quidditch terms off the top of my head, did you?)
14-year old “Pink” Hud “Houses” Mellencamp won a fight in an Indiana Golden Gloves tournament, taking home a trophy and division title for his performance.
Hud Mellencamp, who boxes for the Indy Police Athletic League, earned a 4-1 decision over Cody Bennett of the Southpaw Boxing Club of Owensboro, Ky., in a 132-pound senior-division bout Thursday night.
Usually I don’t condone gambling, especially on amateur events, but I won a nice sum of money on the bout. All I’m going to say is if someone gives you 10,000 to 1 on anything, you take it. If Hud Mellencamp ever wins a championship belt, I am going to be a very rich dude.
Rocker Mellencamp’s son wins Indiana Golden Gloves [The Sporting News]
Golden Gloves looking to the future [IndyStar.com]
Eugene “Wildkat” Edgerson, member of Arizona’s 1997 National Championship team and current (for now) Harlem Globetrotter, was arrested for the second time in two months on charges of domestic violence relating to an altercation with his wife.
Pima County Sheriff’s Department officials said Edgerson is suspected of assaulting his wife when she tried to call 911 during an argument late Wednesday night.
Deputies responded to the couple’s home and Edgerson’s wife said when she reached for the phone, her husband grabbed it and caused an injury to her hand.
Edgerson, 31, was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence assault and domestic violence disorderly conduct and booked into the Pima County Jail, according to authorities.
Edgerson was previously arrested on February 18th after his wife alleged that he pulled her hair during a fight.
When is this guy going to realize that even though he’s a Harlem Globetrotter, he can’t treat his wife like she plays for the Washington Generals?
Globetrotter jailed for allegedly assaulting wife [The Seattle Times]
Roger Millions, a reporter for Rogers Sportsnet up Canada way, has a little difficulty with his report on the Calgary Flames/Chicago Blackhawks matchup outside of United Center and in his frustration says “cocksucker” on the air. (NSFW videos after the jump)
You have to feel bad for Millions, who probably feels like he ain’t worth a dollar after this gaffe. It’s not very often you see a reporter go down and bust out a cocksucker move like that on live television. Nor should you want to.
• NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs Roundup: Phil Kessel had two goals and an assist as Boston holds off Montreal 2-1, Detroit easily handles playoff neophytes Columbus 4-1, Martin Havlat scored twelve seconds into overtime as the Blackhawks thrilled the United Center crowd with a 3-2 victory over the Flames and it’s more of the same for the San Jose Sharks, who always seem to find a way to choke on a bag of cocks every postseason, surrendered a goal each from Scott Niedermayer and Ryan Getzlaf in the third period while getting blanked in a terrible 2-0 loss to the Anaheim Ducks. [NHL.com Scoreboard]
• MLB: The Yankees opened up their new stadium with a thud, getting blown out by the Indians 10-2. Cleveland scored nine runs in the 7th inning, including a grand slam by Grady Sizemore. The first place Toronto Blue Jays continued to own the Minnesota Twins, winning 9-2 as they took three of four to take the series. [MLB.com Scoreboard]
• This Guy Had To Be A Blogger, Right? “Police said a 22-year-old man broke into an apartment to steal $82 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets.” If chicken wings and Hot Pockets are this guy’s idea of fine dining, I feel bad for his cell mate. Right, Jim Gaffigan? [Yahoo! News]
• More NHL Playoff Hockey! A unheard of playoff tripleheader on the rodeo channel tonight. It starts off with Columbus Blue Jackets at Detroit Red Wings (7:00 EST), next is Calgary Flames at Chicago Blackhawks (9:30 EST) and wraps up with the Battle of California as the Anaheim (Mighty) Ducky take on the San Jose Sharks (11:00 EST). You’ll have to burn the midnight oil to stay awake for this one. Just not the album with “Beds are Burning” on it, though. That song rules. [Versus, 6:00 EST]
• Boxing: Mike Tyson’s Greatest Hits, Volume II (Electric Booglaoo). I’m pretty sure this will highlights the fights in his career before he became concerened about fading into Bolivian. [ESPN2, 9:00 EST]
• Probably Funny: New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock tonight. [NBC, 9:00 EST]
• Double Feature Movie Night! Talk about an odd combo – Blazing Saddles and then The Untouchables. Be sure to eat all of your schnitzengruben or you might get a baseball bat to the cranium. [AMC, 8:00 EST]
That does it for me, folks. Have a good evening. Tomorrow’s Friday, so that’s good. Unless weekends frighten you – to tell you the truth, when I was a kid, I saw the video for “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy and for a while there I dreaded Fridays – and headbands.
